All Comments on 'Cryin' in the Rain'

Could end here, be nice if he hooked up with Sara again

Hats off to undoubtedly one of the best writers on the site

He has to get both of them out of his life, find some one else that he can trust to be with. Since Jimmy seems to have no real ability to understand his feelings and viewed him as an extension of himself. Gretchen is no prize either, she knew how Jimmy felt about her, but decided to try to have him and her husband, when she shouldn't have let the scumbag near again.

Actually, Dylan should end up with Abby. Both Sarah and especially Gretchen are not worth it. So that leaves either a mystery girl, or...Abby. Its been foreshadowed albeit briefly that Abby has interest. Also established Sara and Gretchen love bad boys, which Dylan may never be. But he could become more independent now that he clocked Jimmy.

Abby should be Dylan's final love. Of course Jimmy will come after her as payback in his little world and be shot down by her, of course knowing SS06, there will be hell to pay! A twist would be that Gretchen gets knocked up again, by Jimmy, then her and Sarah become a couple and raise the child. Jimmy ends up where he belongs, and Dylan with Abby have a beautiful brood of red robins!

So that is my premise

A great SS06 story would have Abby follow him to Florida and they end up together.

An OK SS06 story would have him meet up with Sarah in Florida and they end up together.

Unfortunately, we have been getting the awful SS06 recently due to his partnership with the cuck Barneyr. So I'm guessing he ends up as the bottom in a 3 way with Jimmy and Gretchen.

Please dump Barneyr and get back to writing good stories.

Yes it does!!

This seriously needs to be continued, in which direction that the question. Does he fight for his marriage. Does he let go and start afresh. Should Sarah reappear.

The one thing I do know is the character you've just written 20000 plus words about doesn't drive away in the rain and dissapear

Good Character development. You made them into three-dimensional people and even gave the supporting characters some flesh. As 3-D characters you show the protagonist a capable of growing, while the antagonists remained true to their basic characters. It will be interesting to see how you develo the plot and characters.

Burn her and then make him shake off the sister and head into the sunset... Screw the whole family. Transfer and a new love to punish them. Always love those endings. No physical, just emotional regret on all, raining down on Dylan's happy ending. That's what I want to see...

It's a really good story that deserves to be left open - just like JPB's stories often are.

Dylan needs to run off into the sunset and let the rest of the characters suffer his new relationship's success...

That's my vote for the next part.

Btb and brother please

Jimmy continues to suck the life blood, and money out of Gretchen. This downward spiral ends when she is an emotional, suicidal wreck and loses her house, savings and job. Jimmy, of course, leaves her in the gutter to leech off of another woman. But this time some not-so-understanding husband either puts him permanently in a wheelchair, with an application of a baseball bat to his knees - or better yet, in a grave. Gretchen continues to fade away in a mental institution and Abby gets Dylan to return from his new life in Florida in an attempt to save her - it doesn't succeed. That's the sad blues angle again. But the good news is that Dylan and Abby hook up and ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. The End.

...you have brought a new story. What can I say that has not already been said?

I enjoy your (high) standard; you obviously never fail to entertain your readers. Thank you for that. But please DO continue this one - there are already way to many unfinished stories on this site. I cannot recall you leaving a story unfinished so I am confident. (of course: 5*)

After reading the second page it was obvious that Dylan was a wimp and not able to stand on his own. Not interested in how other readers want this to end..I am interested in how YOU want it to end. IF you post a followup where Dylan "mans up" I'll score this chapter. Otherwise, forget it.

I actually like a lot of that - especially Jimmy getting hit in the legs again, leaving him even less mobile as he deteriorated from not giving a shit about getting better or rehabbing.

Given that Gretchen had decided it was time to think about kids, and possibly hadn't been taking the pill due to grief - I could see her getting pregnant... discovering it... Jimmy ditching her then and there when he realises that no way Dylan would ever forgive her, first for the betrayal, and second by getting pregnant to Jimmy again and this time while married to Dylan.

Gretchen's parents try to take care of her but her mental state deteriorates and she stops taking care of herself and miscarriages again. This time she wakes up to an older, weary, destroyed father instead of a man who loved her.

I have no idea how Abby would be okay with taking her sister's boyfriend, but maybe she "discovers" him down in Florida when she takes a job there. He's living but almost a mess, and she's the one who tries to make him whole again.

I wouldn't like to see him get together with Sara, but maybe run into her at prenatal classes, or shopping in a baby store and she's happy and loved and with a good guy that reminds him of him, and not Jimmy, and wrap up her story there too.

You really explained it well.

I like what you have written - please continue and complete the story - don't DARE to put Gretchen back with Dylan - or I'll send the girls around - capiche ?

Good story SS06 !!

Because you turned in to JPB and didn't finish it. If you do continue don't put them together again, also you and your editor need too triple check the editing.

This is so much better than some of the drivel you have been posting lately! Please don't get me wrong, you are one of my favorite writers on here. But lately the stories have been the same, just with different names! This story goes back to your earlier writing. This has more depth to the characters, more personal idiosyncrasies and mannerisms! Love it!

And for the second installment; Sarah comes back! Or secondly; he has the sister,,,,,,, but seriously, Sarah!

You want to write what the most commenters want? There's no integrity in that. A writer, painter, poet, whatever, needs to listen to their muse and no one else. Bad idea and lazy.

Sarah and Abby.

Has Stang ever done a story where the hero ends up with more than one woman?

For all the talk of him getting same-y by some of the commenters, I've always found he enjoys adding a twist, or something different to each one of his stories. I actually appreciate that a lot - as I like his style.

Loved the story, great writing as usual.

Storyline, wow, he should not get gretchen back. Her comments show they need to break.

She even said she didnt love me that much. Also she wants to stay married to have Jimmy because its a have both or none from him.

NO divorce is best and Sarah, hmm no they said she was not that smart and she would fall for jimmy or someone else's line eventually.

No the little sister, that has possibilities. She wants him you can see in how you wrote it.

The family he already likes,

And best of all being with the sister is a bit of punishment for the wife, even if she loves him so little. I also suspect the wife will get pregnant again, by jimmy. Recall you had her stop the birth control and she has been with Jimmy since.

I like the main character, Its hard to overcome family bonds especially since childhood. But he was able to break free.

Cant wait for the next chapter.

Great start to the story, will be watching for the next chapter, so glad that you are back to writing excellent plot lines although I hate that I have to wait for the next chapter, what is it the greats say....keep 'em wanting more!

I started this with some trepidation thinking that you may have, as you have previously done, given the reader a choice of endings, personally I hate that style, just pick one & stick with it. I'm not sure that we need a chapter 2 here unless it is to follow Dylan to Florida but I'm also thinking that you are planning a pregnancy story & who is the daddy, if you do just write what you intend, we the reader either like it or don't.

Dylan should wind up with Sarah.

Jimmy is a total ass. SS06 wrote him that way from the get go, and his coming back and fucking Gretchen is just unforgivable.

Gretchen seemed to be better than a usual SS06 dumb wife, but she quickly evolved into one. She never really loved Dylan (she pretty much admits it to herself).

Her deserves better. Hopefully you can bring back his first love, Sarah, and give him a decent future with people deserving of his decency and loyalty. Jimmy and Gretchen ain't it.

As I said to Stang on t The Other Site, I'm of two minds:

While I'd LIKE to have Dylan tell Gretchen to go fuck herself and/or Jimmy, I feel like, despite his anger at the moment, he truly loves Gretchen, and a happy ending would be him getting back with her, while terminating his friendship with Jimmy, with extreme prejudice.

A possibly better ending would be Dylan and Abby getting together. I really don't want to go all BTB on Gretchen, I think she is really psychologically damaged and isn't totally responsible for her actions.

I suppose Sarah is a dark horse candidate, but she ruined herself for me by running away instead of running TO Dylan.

BTB - Then live happily ever after with a decent women who is not Sarah.

The reason Sarah ran away was the fact she was pregnant with Dylan's baby but feared the depth of his friendship with Jimmy would forever color her relationship with Dylan. Now that the relationship has exploded it is time for her return. I'm sorry but the first time married Gretchen had sex was understandable given all she knew about the boys and what everyone said, especially the parents. She was succeptible to Jimmy's suggestions. However, simply shrugging and complying more times after she'd seen firsthand what it did to Dylan is both a stereotypical SS06 "heroine" and unforgivable. Reconciliation with Gretchen is not how I would see this continuing, the lack of respect from she and Jimmy is too great.

SS06 left an opening for bringing Sarah back if you'll remember the bar scene with Jimmy, there is a mysterious stranger that overheard their conversation. That was an extremely clever item to give himself a means of bringing a character into the story.

BTB and cripple Jimmy! Abby is the only woman in this story that is worth considering. Please don't make us wait too long for the next part.

I don't get whats to decide here about the ending. Whether you have him burn her or not, she's deliberately chosen Jimmy over him. She listened to him over everyone and even when she realizes she's making a huge mistake she continues on that path. Why would he go back to her? Yeah, she'll say she got temporarily stupid but it literally took no time at all to fall into bed with him and she literally never gave her own marriage a shot. To me, her actions are a deal-breaker.

... so I can't offer suggestions at all on that score. I want to like Dylan but can't. He is the perpetual victim and enabler. His connection to Jimmy is pure co-dependence and he has helped Jimmy damage many lives. Standing up to Jimmy will not be enough, he has to get Jimmy out of his life completely. Gretchen is no prize either and her betraying Dylan with Jimmy is inexcusable, especially after all of the crap she spouted about Jimmy after she lost the baby. She is just as toxic as Jimmy is.

I agree with others that SS06 has foreshadowed the re-entry of Sarah in the storyline. I'm not sure that Dylan would be good for her either. More than anything Dylan has no spine and until he gets one (Spines R Us is open 24/7 I think) he will be of no value to Sarah or any other woman.

Great Story...but you have to have a second chapter to wrap things up. Gretchen has to go, you said it early in the story she came to depend on Dylan but she never really loved him so she has to go. It would be poetic justice if Jimmy knocks her up again and dumps her once more. She loses Dylan forever her family distances themselves from her for the way she treated Dylan for a few decades.

Jimmy's folks dump him realizing what a POS they raised and how he treated Dylan or they can't believe how Dylan attacked Jimmy and the families break all contact with each other. Jimmy moves onto the next series of skanks and ends up either in the grave or gets a dose of something he can't recover from and dies alone in anonymity or crippled for life. He never realizes what happened to him and Dylan.

Dylan, having shed his bonds and grown a pair, needs to continue to grow in strength. He throws himself into his new job becoming a superstar in the company, develops a new widget or technology that puts him on easy street for the rest of his life. But he realizes he is empty without someone in his life he cares about. Sarah needs to stay gone, she's just more of the same as Gretchen, don't bring her back. Abby is a great lead and would burn Gretchen's ass to know she threw her future away for a waste like bad boy Jimmy. Big difference though is she doesn't suffer from the same bad choices, becomes Dylan's dream woman and they marry, have kids. Gretchen, while on the outs with Dylan, is part of the family and is witness from afar of how bad her decision was. She never marries because she keeps picking bad boys. Dylan and Abby get custody of her kid(s) when she gets beat to death by one of her bad boys or takes her own life when she realizes her life will never get better. The story ends with Dylan and Abby in retirement looking back on their life together and how life's choices shaped their lives together and though the rains came, the sun eventually came out and they found the rainbow.

Yah it may be trite but that is preferable to him being beat by a slug and a cheating whore who have pissed on him for his loyalty and love.

Wolf_Man_1962

Wow 5 stars, how many readers can relate to some parts. Friends can always get inside of your relationships. The trouble here really, Dylan knew ahead of time Gretchen loved bad boys, so naturally Gretchen would never resist Jimmy. Dylan is really a safety net for Gretchen. Honestly this is not a BTB story, and I hope it does not turn out to be. The truth here is Gretchen if real character has issues with the loss of her child and Dylan was not her cure and never was. Truth be told, her missing link was Jimmy all along. Gretchen missed Jimmy, had feelings which included this lost child. Dylan's second problem, Jimmy needs cash fast and Gretchen is that link, I see Jimmy resorting to this tactic to cause the divorce and manipulate Gretchen out of any divorce settlement monies for his own business, now that Dylan has split ways with Jimmy. Is there a chance at "A small world", meaning Sarah returning, hardly. I think best, Dylan makes it to Florida, sets up residence and meets the most amazing woman there and they both fall head over heels in love and marry. I do see Jimmy arriving, trying the same maneuvering with this new hot wife of Dylan's but this woman is of a different cast molding and quickly and rudely pushes Jimmy and his advances away. A wife that honors her vows and defends them to the fullest.

Next chapter next chapter next chapter next chapter next chapter next chapter

First, Grechen pleads that *she* was supposed to be talking to Dylan, and she didn't get to, so same deal without Jimmy.

Second, she signs but begs to live with him for a year. She was too susceptible to Jimmy and it's not safe for her without therapy. He holds her part of the settlement to assure her good behavior.

He agrees. You can take it where you want after that.

What can I say? I like to see the exwife's eyes completely opened.

i have read and enjoyed most of your stories. you need to put that imagination to work and finish this one. please don't leave us hanging...................... george...ps maybe sarah is waiting in florida???

Great story. You're my favorite author on here. I look forward to your stories thank you

This started out pretty good, then somewhere along the way you lost complete control, we could almost believe the Sarah but then along came Gretchen and nobody could believe that.

Then it turned awful.

Dylan? maybe, sort of, but I never met any engineers THAT stupid, and his

"Bro?"

I mean, come on now. He gets the broad pregnant, dumps her, she hates him, he shows up and has her in bed in 30 seconds after 5 YEARS with Dylan?

BTW: The reason we don't see any Mustangs on the short circle tracks very often is because they fold up like tinfoil when we bounce them off the cement fences, just a fact. This from an old Camaro driver who happens to know.

I think. You need to finish the story.

What a long winded stupid story. I didn't even finish it it was so boring. The guy's a limp dick wimp and doesn't know shit about football. In high school, you don't triple team an offensive lineman, you just stay clear if he's really good.

I see no need to BTB with revenge when karma is so ready to come around and take a big chomp out of her ass. I would like to see Dylan continue to grow a back bone and finally stand on his own two feet.

Let Grechen end up with the shit life she has chosen. Divorce from Dylan, knocked up and used by Jimmy, Meanwhile Dylan learns to be a man and realizes that a backbone is necessary if one does not want to be a doormat.

Dylan moves but Gretchen's family stays in touch. You could always have Gretchen's younger sister go to college in Florida and bump into Dylan. The two could develop a loving relationship and end up married with children in the end. Somewhere in between everything you could throw Jimmy back in the mix by having him try to leach off the old friendship with Dylan. Surprise, the old relationship no longer exists and Dylan's new love is completely faithful and much stronger than her older sister was.

Jimmy is the self centered bastard childhood friend of Dylan , who is his buddy and hasn't fiqured out what a loser he is. Jimmy knocks up Gretchen and takes off never to be seen for 5 yrs, in the meantime Dylan fall in love with Gretchen marries her. Only to let jimmy stay. With them . If you beleive this part u believe in the tooth fairy.! She had a. Break down after losing the baby jimmy gave her. And both are college grads so no weak minds here! You. Know he is going to go after your wife and why would she agree to this. Beyond believable ,to top it off he is over weight and a total loser never working to earn a living . So how would she ever sucumb to this man after all she went thru. And those who think this is a good story oblivious do not understand what they are reading . Also is she now pregnant after going off her birth control pills.? Stars stang 6 you cannot save this story , no way in this lifetime. Just let it die its natural death.

You seem to have stolen an old Star Trek episode where Capt. Kirk is split in two. Until they separated Jimmy and Dylan operated as one organic unit. It wasn't until they separated Dylan started to grow the other half of his personality, Jimmy never did. You need to explore that process and see where each of them end up. I think the sister is too obvious, I vote for coming across a trio of nuns in Florida (more for the fact you left parts of that story open and you never came back to it.)

Have Gretchen get pregnant by Jimmy again but have her claim that it's Dylan's. While they are waiting to be able to do a dna test have him fall for Abby. At the end have the tests show that it's Jimmy's baby. The parents get involved and force Jimmy to take responsibility for the baby and Gretchen. Jimmy is forced to take a job selling used cars, both him and Gretchen are miserable. Dylan and Abby are happy and have a great family and life together.

Have him marry the sister, his soon to ne ex doesnt deserve reconciliation

These women in your stories can not be possible as dumb as you make them. You are a good writer but almost all your stories have the same theme. This story if you truly read it makes no sense . Who would let this. Jimmy into your home knowing what he did to your present wife Gretchen . A poor soap opera tube story or a BBB movie.

Gave it five stars.

No need to continue story as this had a good ending. If you continue it will just be the same old , same old ending. He will find a perfect woman with big tits and a perfect personality. Sex with her will be perfect. They will have perfect children and a perfect life. Oh yeah, matching pony cars.

The two losers will stay together for a while cause they are morons. She will get pregnant and become a trailer trash slut. She will give him her asshole to plug and they will suffer forever.

SS06 great story. After reading Gretchen's comments it's plain to see she is batshit and, also history...she deserves Jimmy. The only logical choices seem to be 1- little sister. 2 - someone new in FL 3 - He just drives off into the sunset in his Ford. 4 - with a name like Dylan, he decides to change careers and become a musician. Of course, the dark horse would be the re-appearance of Sara. If Jimmy is still alive, after his beating, something really bad needs to happen to him.

Dylan realizes that Mustangs are crap cars, and with that knowledge everything becomes clear. He claims the younger, hotter sister for his own, and fucks the snot out of her with his gigantic cock. He starts his own automotive company and makes billions catering to the people with good taste who know that Mustangs suck. He and the sister have six kids and live in a mansion on the beach in Florida. Jimmy dies of gonorrhea. Gretchen works at Wendy's, which is the natural home for girls that look like her.

less than 12 hours posted, and already 47 comments. That alone tells you how great a job you have done.

I see no need for a second part, but if you choose, you might go with Dylan succeed in life, with Jimmy and Greta watching from afar. Make it more about their misery.

1 last piece of advice, a little shorter would be better. Say, 5 pages instead of 7

Hey Stang A-HOLE, You need to get a job. Stop with this SHIT you write. All Your Shit stories are TOO FUCKING LONG. Get a LIFE A-HOLE.

I'd like to see something a little different., how about the second part focuses on Jimmy and he is forced to grow up by the loss of the one thing he was sure of in his life, Dylan. I don't see Dylan and Gretchen getting back together nor her staying with Jimmy but facing the reality of what she has done and becoming more of an adult than she has been. Finally, I see Dylan separating himself from his unhealthy dependence on Jimmy and learning what a friend really is. Then finding some hot babe with a better car than his :)

If you are spending time reading long stories and making asinine comments. It is high time you change your part-time job at the golden arches and get a full time job.

The story development was very nice but the ending seemed rushed. I would prefer a longer story than a two parter. As for the excessively rude Mr Anon, if you don' t like long stories perhaps you should stick to picture books. Age 5 to 6 years should match your IQ perfectly.

Thanks for sharing!

I still find a creepy misogyny in the way that your female characters so mindlessly fall into a pleasureless acquiescing towards bad men.

"The sex wasn't good" is a common lie told by cheatong women. I guess your audience must have heard and believed it at some point, for how much they love this crap.

oh how I wish it would rain. TK U MLJ LV NV

Let's see if there is a chapter two or not.

you never seem to credit you wife characters with the brain they were born with. just wondering why

Geez, early on I got the fact that you wanted to paint a picture of two guys who were like brothers, who did everything together including their women. I'm surprised you didn't have them doing each other! What I'm saying is you could have finished the story if you hadn't gotten caught up in the male love fest.

Go for the reconciliation route, not BTB.

Go for reconciliation because I want to see if its possible to sympathize with Gretchen. If you can make me feel bad for her, that would be one hell of a sign of a good writer.

i will skip over all of the mistakes you made about football. and yes there were a whole lot. dylan has to be the worst MC ive ever read about. he has no identity, he is jimmy's shadow. he does whatever he is told. why would you be best friends with this POS (jimmy) this guy is a total asshole and dylan knows it. yet he spends his whole life doing whatever jimmy says.ill assume that jimmy fucks his wife at one point. so what . dylan deserves whatever he gets as far as i am concerned. this is just stupid.

His former bro, now nemesis, finally got the beating he justly deserved, but the main character is still unsettled and needs closure.

I want a BTB ending. Tie Jimmy and Gretchen to the bumper of his mustang as he leaves town. Na, that's a bit too much. But he has to leave them both and never talk to them again. He stops to get something to eat and meets the new love of his life and they both head to his new job. He explains his sorry past to her and she loves him anyway.

I don't think that there should be reconciliation, cause let's face it the girl has proven herself to be unreliable in regards to Jimmy. I mean, she hates him from the first time Dylan mentions him, but the first time he shows up, within seconds, she's on her back and spreading her legs for him. Even if she claims to never want to see Jimmy again, which she did before he reappeared, how the hell could Dylan ever trust her again? If I were to request an ending, I would ask for Dylan to run into Sarah again and start up with her of good this time (my preferred choice) or for him to end up being shared between her and Greta's sister after leaving Greta and Jimmy broke and broken (financially and socially, of course). The second one would really be a good 'fuck you' to both of them. Oh, and I would like to request that if you do have Sarah make a return appearance, could you have her tell Jimmy just how much better Dylan was than him and tell Sarah what she'd given up?

-Hellhound

"I guess over the years I told myself that I loved Dylan. And in a way I did. Dylan was a wonderful husband, and he loved me so much I could feel his love like little waves of warmth and protectiveness."

That's the money quote right there, she doesn't love Dylan she's just using him. Dylan got it right when he left, don't have him take her back like a dog returning to his vomit. He's a good guy, he deserves someone who loves him.

I hate it when someone that writes as well as you SS06 leaves a good story dangling

A similar story/ plot exists on this site. Not a bad read; have most always enjoyed your writing. Getting together with the sister who finds her way to FL in search of Marshall, Dylan is too obvious. Having them set up the car thing with her in charge, hiring Sarah as his CPA, all while becoming nationally recognized by appearances on Jackson-Barret auctions as a Mustang expert thus fulfilling a dream...would be appropriate. (Maybe even having his own show on Velocity)All this while Jimmy's life oozes slowly away from regret or an STD. Can't wait for your ending.

Do not wait long. Just finish the story.

Problem was, the Bromance was all wrong.

The two guys, at the core of their friendship, would have made PUSSY the PRIMARY goal. Sure, football, careers and back-up plans, would be discussed. However, all of the endless conversations, over all of the years, would have ALWAYS centered around getting laid. They would need to do this, to remind themselves that they weren't gay. So what this means is, they would have to have reached agreement on similiar philosophies on women, similar tastes, and the exact same goals: get laid as much as possible. If the "bro's b4 ho's" line is used, then it really means that they AGREE that any woman isn't as important as their friendship. The disparity where Jimmy is one way, and Dylan is the opposite, doesn't gel with a "lifetime" of hanging out. Jimmy would have left Dylan behind MUCH sooner. Simply put, he would have needed a much more competent wingman. Furthermore, Dylan would have started losing respect for Jimmy MUCH sooner, if he had NEVER felt the same way about women as Jimmy did. If you had written that they BOTH had tromped their way through the Michigan undergrads TOGETHER, it would have set the friendship as more believable. You still could have told the same story. After a few years of meaningless sexual conquests, Dylan finally meets his match, and as graduation nears, he realizes the need to mature and solidify his future. Jimmy could have stayed the same, and after the NFL dreams crash and burn, he still leaves for a time to get out of the picture. Yet he could still return to cause problems, and try to drag Dylan down, and have all of the tension and conflict your plot needs. Dylan would have more believable guilt this way, because at one time he was like that, at one time they were the same. As written, it is unbelievable, because they never were the same, and it is hard to see why they were ever friends, and WTF it was they even had in common, besides growing up in the same neighborhood. I get that you needed to make Dylan "the better one". But this story could have worked even better, if he was simply just the one who figured it out first and matured faster.

In the story as written, by the time Jimmy returns, Dylan AND Gretchen seem to know that his arrival is nothing but trouble. She even STRONGLY states that she doesn't even want to see him. Dylan understands, and AGREES! Dylan should have had NO PROBLEM telling Jimmy that crashing at the house was a no go. Even if Jimmy still showed up the next day, She should have told him to get the fuck out. Why even invite him in the house? But then we get more insight. Jimmy is dominant, she and Dylan are submissive. Well FUCK THAT! This is a cheap contrivance used to allow an implausible situation. Any woman who had to go through months of therapy over a man that cheated on her, didn't respect her, left her when she was pregnant with a child, and endured the pain of miscarriage IS NOT GOING TO FORGET ANY OF THAT!!! Even if it had been 5 years, ten or even twenty. But whatever dickmunch Jimmy says, what Greta is NOT going to do, is trust even one gosh darn syllable uttered from his slimey piehole. And with that, there is NO WAY IN HELL, that she folds up and fucks, thinking that all will be OK, nevermind the birth control, or vows, or any of the rest. Oh yeah, she is a little submissive, right? Such BS!

Meanwhile, the idea that Dylan would choose Jimmy over her is JUST as ridiculous! She forgot all of the talks after he left, and where SHE was the one who got Dylan to admit that Jimmy was a user and abuser? She forgot that Dylan had already made his choice to build a seperate life without the asshole? So when her inner thoughts were revealed, she only shows how little she understands her own husband? Sorry, more BS! But whatever got her to spread for Jimmy the first time, by the time she had done it again and again, knowing that Dylan had already left her, well then any chance for reconcilliation was shot. The "meeting", as described should prove to EVERYBODY involved, that it is really over. And that is how it should be.

OK, where do we take the rest of this?

I read where lots of folks think he should get with Abby. If you include Abby in this, I think it would have to be a lot more complicated in order to be effective. BTW, I agree that Sarah is long gone, and should stay that way. See if you can follow this:

Gretchen realizes the doom and gloom, and is catapolted back into depression.

Slimey Jimmy just disappears, he has learned to know when he is not wanted. Realizing his plans failed, he just walks away, again. Abby comes to help Gretchen. Abby tries to sympathise with her, and learns ALL ABOUT the convaluted dynamics between the three of them. While encouraging Greta to move on, she sets her own sites on Dylan. Cucking Dylan has appeal to Abby, and she thinks that THAT is what Greta was trying to do. But she thinks SHE can do it better, because she thinks that she is smarter than Greta, and she probably is. So, Abby sets about a long term plan for the rebound love affair with Dylan, planning to use his devotion to woman, and placing them on the pedestal to HER advantage. Meanwhile, Greta DID get pregnant. Surprise, it IS Dylan's. Abby convinces Greta to accept her intentions for Dylan as a way to keep him closer to the baby. May be in time, his anger will fade, and at least the child will have a father in its life. The thought of being a single mother is Greta's #1 fear, and was at the heart of her original depression before and after the misscarriage with Jimmy. Abby manipulates these fears for her own advantage, also convincing her that if Dylan will sleep with her, than he can't hold this high and mighty morally superior position over Greta's head.

Meanwhile, in all of this. Dylan has lost ALL trust in women, and doesn't commit his heart anymore. The divorce IS happening! Part of Abby's seduction is getting Dylan to understand that it was Jimmy's confidence, rather than his personality, that got him laid so often. If Dylan would just relax and not take things so seriously, he would be a lot happier as well as more successful with the ladies. Well, Dylan takes that advice in spades. He has no problem using Abby for his own pleasure, and revenge against Greta. When he learns Greta is pregnant, he refuses to believe it is his. He still plans to relocate, and he does.

The transfer means great success, and he immediately has temporary success with some local ladies in his new town. After the baby is born, Abby and Greta finally track him down, and offer to be his "sister-wives"; he can have both of them equally, if he promises to always take care of all of them, including the baby which they can prove is his. Last surprise, is that Abby is pregnant now too. (you'll have to work with the timeline so this all works out, but)

So Dylan now has to decide what he wants. There IS a threesome scene, so he can test the waters of how the suggested menage might go. But in the end, he sets up money to support both kids, and refuses to have anythng further to do with either of these crazy bitches. (i.e. pay them to go away!) But in the final surprise twist, it gets proved that Abby's unborn child wasn't his afterall. So he REALLY has no guilt in throwing them to the curb, and slamming the door shut for good!

Somehow he has a feeling that his next true love is waiting for him at some future mustang tradeshow. He just hasn't met her yet. The end!

Well, I'm sure you can write it better than me. I won't even care what you choose. But these were my thoughts at the conclusion of reading your chapter one. Can't wait until we see what you decide to do with chapter 2.

Thanks Stang!

As always I look forward to a Stang Story. You have not disappointed. Thia has great possibilities and I will be thinking about what comes next. Hope the wait isn't too long.

Thanks!

Dylan has to get together with the sister for sure but Sarah needs to be brought back for some closure on that relationship.

Looking forward to the ending!

The Dom/Sub role of the pseudo brothers is recipe of disastrous consequence. The wronged[sub] brother must have his revenge, no matter how great or small. The self absorbed [dom] brother must have his way. The only solutions is for a Cain and Able ending,with the alleged wife taken her life, its only fitting.

OK, you've got my interest. Now finish, please.

I've missed you Stang but this one was like putting on half a sock

Need the rest of the story!

This story SUCKED! Seven pages of BS with no conclusion! I gave you a 1, only because I can't award a lower vote (like -50).

You should learn something about football before you use it as a background for one of your stories. Offensive linemen are never double or triple teamed. Their job is to get to the one with the ball and tackle him or force the quarterback on a pass play to throw the ball before he wants to if they can't tackle him before he can throw it. On third down, as depicted in the story, just dropping the forward pass would result in the play being dead, and it would be placed at the previous line of scrimmage and it would be fourth down, except in Canadian Football where they only have three downs to make a first down. Nobody on your team would want you to catch it and then fumble it with a down remaining, as the fumble would be a "free ball", and the other team could recover it, and the offense can't advance a fumble unless it occurs behind the line of scrimmage and is picked up there by an offensive player. However, the defense can pick it up anywhere and advance it. Still, the personal relationships were well developed.

Why do half the commenters think Stang isn't going to finish the story? He says in the intro he will based on feedback, and he's done this before and delivered.

Seriously, I think you guys need to get over that it's kind of the first chapter, and for some of you - tone down the vitriol.

K, so it's not done. It will be. Be more optimistic.

@looking4it – YES! I had forgotten that piece in that scene! I believe it was one of Hitchcock’s rules, something like, if you show a gun in the first act you’ve got to use it by the last act, so by introducing this mystery character, Stang in HIS Ch 2 at least, needs to tie it in.

@gara5289 – While I somewhat agree with you, you are wrong about listening to Jimmy over everyone. On the contrary, Dylan’s own MOTHER agreed with Jimmy that Dylan would never give up Jimmy, that she had to take both or neither.

@Anonymous Re: Finish The Damn Story – Normally I’m with you, but Stang told us up front that he had several possible endings in mind and would take reader suggestions in mind when writing the finish.

@Anonymous Re: Great Story – I’m not sure that Dylan knew FROM THE START that Gretchen loved bad boys. I think the first time he heard that was from her sister after he took Gretchen to the hospital after her miscarriage.

@Anonymous Re: DGHear – DYLAN didn’t let Jimmy into the house, Gretchen did, and that is her fatal flaw. After what Jimmy did to her, and after telling Dylan NOT to bring Jimmy to the house, she not only lets him in, but FUCKS him?!

Another argument against reconciliation is Gretchen's comment, "I told myself that I loved Dylan. And in a way I did." You don't go back to someone who loves you "in a way"!

Good story.

Regardless of what came before, the fact that she jumped in bed with fucktard Jimmy is proof that she did not love Dylan. Only the total lack of love would explain her actions. If she even just respected her husband she would not have fucked him. So, the sad fact is she never loved him, even after all his baby sitting, she was just using him. In the next chapter she will turn up pregnant and I am sure the paternity will become and issue. Dylan is looking at an assault charge and possible jail time. Jimmy, will just continue his depraved lifestyle. By the way, men of integrity such as the way Dylan is portrayed will cut ties with men like Jimmy long before things get this bad. He would have dumped Jimmy after the Sarah incident if not sooner. Jimmy is a sociopath and his behavior is intolerable to normal people.

I agree with what people are saying. She clearly doesn't love him if after everything he's done for her she cheats on him with the ex her was emotionally abusive to her. I don't think you need to go BTB on her as I think losing Dylan will be punishment enough and will make her realise everything that she's lost but as for Jimmy he deserves everything that's coming to him. All of this said it was a good story and though I'm really hoping for an ending soon I do like that this way if I don't like the then ending I can just imagine my own

Dylan needs to be as far away from Jimmy and Gretchen as possible and never speak to them again. He cannot be with Gretchen's sister, she is too close to Gretchen. Even his mother recognised that Dylan would never be rid of Jimmy if he was always turning up. He is better off gone. Liked the story though I haven't a clue what the 'football' thing is all about. But I do know a 'Mustang' is some sort of car. Neither of these happen here.

Usual great story. I think after a meeting with Bernie and the sister in Florida she gets some traction as part of the BTB revenge, and a love story emerges from the ashes. Jimmy ends up in jail after his past that we don't know about catches up to him and he is gang raped while there. Dylan has one more encounter with Jimmy after he is released from jail. They meet at Jimmy's parents place who then disown Jimmy, sadly they die in an accident and leave all of their estate to Dylan. Jimmy is pissed and looks for revenge on Dylan. Good guy still wins in the end though.

After five years of marriage, I don't care what anyone says, something that important she should have ran by Dylan first. She fell for Jimmy's line because she wanted to.

My vote for an ending is to get Dylan and Abby together.

Cog

After reading your introduction. JPB is a good writer that has a nasty habit of not finishing his stories. When I read that you were not going to finish this story I didn't bother to read it. If you couldn't be bothered to write an ending, why should readers bother to read it? No stars.

For sure this story needs an ending...Even if it's only one page...To know how everybody ended...Ans how they all ended is always a writer's choice...I hope you write it...So I'll rate the story if it has an ending.

The story had me entranced, especially with two "blood brothers" being opposites.

But when we switched to Greta's POV then everything got sticky. I swear that your female protagonists never have an ounce of good sense. He left them all behind and I hope will never let either of them back in his life. Good potential ending???

Great story, especially like the contrast between the characters.

Finally. Not a WACC story.... Open question - can Dylan really kick his Jimmy habit? Or is the grand RAAC scenario that Jimmy and Dylan get back together? Since Jimmy doesn't want Gretchen what happens to her? Is she pregnant again? Do the parents collude to try to patch things between Jimmy and Dylan or do they realize Dylan is done with them all? Sarah? Abbey?

Some loved it, some didn't, but you can't ignore the outpouring of comments and emotions SS06 has generated with this one. My preference would be for Dylan to move on ultimately.

Gretchen doesn’t love Dylan and should be ditched as pointed out in her own comment that many here have pointed out. If she has a bad boy complex it will just pop up again and hopefully Dylan realizes that now. She is probably already pregnant and the question will be Dylan’s or Jimmy’s. That could keep Dylan around for a while as he waits to find out whose it is or it could add a twist if it ends up being his and he gets involved with, or possibly impregnates someone else in the meantime.

Abby is a long shot but could factor into a relationship triangle with Dylan and another woman.

Sarah could be multifaceted. Was she someone that was sitting near Dylan and Jimmy in the bar that heard them and realized who they were? Or possibly it was a friend of hers that knew her situation. When she disappeared from the scene was she pregnant with Dylan’s child?

Jimmy may not even be an issue anymore. Near the end Dylan had blood all over his hands and Jimmy was unconscious. “ ’No, you have to stay,’ Gretchen screamed. ‘Just help me get him...’ “ to which Dylan replied "He can fuckin' die for all I care". Maybe Jimmy did die, or maybe he is just in bad shape.

Dylan could end up in jail for quite some time for the assault or murder of Jimmy. Then it might be up to who visits him in jail or who is pregnant with or has had his children (Sarah, Gretchen, Abby). He could also let those ponies run and end up having an accident in the rain ultimately having him share a room in the hospital alongside Jimmy as they are recovering.

very interesting story the way two people can be so close and cause such pain between them. one has a me attitude about him and the other one is always looking out for the both of them. love to see how things work out for him in the future chapters.

Quite contrived plot and story and pretty shitty to leave it with no ending except a Willie Nelson sound alike song.

Ah yes, MISOGYNY!. SS06's stories usually end on page one: that is, we learn quickly how the story's primary female character will utterly fail that Mustang-drivin' hero who's usually her husband. The following pages then fart along trying to convince the readership that this woman has to go and, of course, we now being in SS06world immediately knew of her upcoming demise upon entering the story. Choose an ending for this farce? That's a laugh - it ended 6 pages ago..

We the Readers could discount the self-serving comment by LilSis about Sweetie lusting after BadBoys. We CANNOT discount Sweetie's confirmation of that. Plus, she really does kinda-sorta love Hubby ... kinda!

Thus, to me, the story is OVER. Who cares if he dredges Sarah back up (but she is NOT too bright, remember?) We don't really know LilSis very well, except that she is NOT an honorable sister! Hubby is substantially broken ... by Jimmy, Sweetie and Sarah. If he gets into a serious relationship before he has learned MUCH more about evaluating women (say, about five years of practical study), Hubby is likely to make a third bad blunder. (Let us not forget that his first two fuck-ups come from the 'magic first glimpse and electric touch' school of love.) GMAFB!

5*

First off, I don't comment much on your stories. The same comment repeats: You write a great tale. On this one, though, you shorted us on the Stang descriptions: more NASA than NASCAR was the limits. Shame on you. I like the descriptions. I'm too large to fit in the Pony cars, but have always loved them.

I think total abandonment of Gret is better than destruction. Just try to walk away and never speak with or of her again. In that vein, I would say avoid Abby as too close to the issue and have him get someone else. However, have something happen prior to the divorce coming final that requires his attention and interaction with them both could be interesting, allowing to show growth on his part and stasis on their's. This would all re-introduction of Abby and possible spark between them.

When all is said and done, you've done a fine job, and whatever you choose to write will be read with great pleasure by me, at least.

Mike

The thing about authors styles are we know what we are getting, the a JPB we know there is a chance the story will be open ended with a Stang story we know that the darned story will be completed. So please don't let this one finish here, please give us the conclusion that this wonderful beginning deserves.

Blue eyes cryin' in the rain?!? STOP crying over spilt milk and B T B!!

and burn that BASTARD that has ridden on your coattails since day one!

That is far more consistent with SSO6's stories! Waiting for the flaming finish!