All Comments on 'Cumming between a Mother + Daughter'

Loved your story! Hope more is cumming. Thanks.

I was loving this story right up until the mention of a dick that's 8 inches in length, and 1 inch in diameter. So 8 inches long, and about as thick as a quarter? As in the coin. A quarter is just barely under 1 inch in diameter.

Needledicks FTL.

If Lauren is 31, how old is her daughter?

I also thought she was hot for her mother's lover. happily surprised she was hot for her mother. I hope there is more to come.

For how you kept describing their breasts it was really distracting. You don't need to keep telling the reader they are 34D's or whatever, and even the first time you do you should realise that doesnt actuly help someone picture neither does giving measurements.

You should use description like teardroped shaped, far to much to hold in his hands, hourglass figured, or things like that. Not just measurements.

Very distracting.

A few errors, but very entertaining.

reread

means mother was 15 when she had the daughter?? definitely needs a EDITOR!

I like the concept and setup of the story. The characters were a little fleshed out and the start of the story was done well. However, there are a few too many grammar and spelling errors that should have easily been fixed. These tend to distract from the rest of the story.

Another major problem is your usage of the "wall-of-text." To make it easier to read and get into, please break up your giant paragraphs. Make them into smaller chunks and more digestible.

It's my first story so I appreciate the feedback. First, this story was checked by an editor for appropriateness and while the mother may have been 15 when she had the daughter--that's a different story and not part of mine. For those of you uncomfortable with teenage pregnancy, I guess bury your head in the sand because it's reality for 10s of thousands of teenagers every year.

Second, I'm writing, at least partially, from the perspective of two females and would love to have additional insight from the female readership. Please let me know what you think!

Absolutely loved it

Excellent work. Needs a Part 2!

Are we going to get a part 2 when he has Rachel with Lauren watching, maybe?

My only complaint is the Point of view changes. If you're going to write in first person, stay with one character. To get the point of view from more than one character, it's easier on the reader if you use third person writing. beyond that, good story.

I can't wait to read the continuation of this story!

But you need to follow-up. Mom asked him to fuck her daughter and No follow-up. How does he handle it does it affect his and Laurens Relationship or does he get a 2 for 1.

You did such a great job with this story can hardly wait to hear how this ends in part 2. There is going to be a part 2? There has to be, Please, you did such a great job

Great story, waiting for the next part.

OMG Part 2 soon please!!! Thomas and Rachelle and mommy in a 3-some!! Mmmmmm