by WisdomousOne
You have a great imagination...almost as if im there!..I would love to see more of your stories...: )~
I am always amazed at the negative comments some people post. I think your story shows the tension that could build in a situation like that. I look forward to seeing the next part(s).
I to beleave the story was written so well that I thought I was there. You write a good story...keep it up!. I imagine that you can go a long way with this story, Being your just breaking her in so to speak. I'm curious to what you have in store for 5...ect.
I felt as if I was there and actually climaxed when you gave her the 1st orgasm! Doesnt get any better than that! Write more!
You made me to feel as if I was there experiencing it, somehow I get hooked about virgin part, needless to say left me with a dripping...
i liked the story, well written and involving. but the language made me keep having to refer back to where you sstated her age. seemed more like she was only 12 or 13 at the most. other than that great reading
This was a really hot story, I read it and by the time it was over my pussy was so wet. [:
ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!! I WANT MORE....CHAPTER 5 IS IT CUMMING SOON...
Great story. love how innocent she is.. keep her that way. cant wait to read more :)
i completely agree this is one of the best reads i have ever read
I. Loved. This. Story. It was really erotic and amazing. I really loved how you didn't rush into the sex but rather built up towards it with foreplay and it was amazing.
What a great story! I'm totally wet from reading it and wish the next chapter was written already! I love the way you write!
I just finished page one, ugh. So he goes from 'my angel daughter I love so much' to 'rent a crack whore so I can abuse her'. So far it pretty much sucks ass. Worse than a 1.99 porn store book. Why the hell would I want to put my balls in a girls mouth? Why the hell would I have any desire to smack my dick on her face? ...and jamming my dick in her face while she's sleeping? Shooting a load while youre jamming it in her throat while shes passed out is just going to wind up getting your shit down into her lungs giving her a massive respiratory infection, assuming she doesn't choke to death. If you wanted to write a crap story you should have just fucked her while she was passed out. Oh wait, thats next chapter. Sigh.
very unrealistic... she sounded like she was 10, not 18. No one treats their sexual partner like that right off the bat.
Necrophilia is the sexual attraction to corpses or UNCONSCIOUS people!!!
Rather mawkish and lacking credibility but if treated as pure fantasy then maybe not too bad.
Ah no. she is passed out and this is supposed to be his sweet daughter.
Sounds like this dude is some type of freak does not give a shit about
his daughter . Sounds to me the writer is living out his fantasy .What
a freak. Not a very thought out story.