Damn Dress: A Love Story Ch. 08

She was sitting in the Administrative offices at San Diego State University. She knew of a few friends who were also attending. Their campus was beautiful, and just being in that atmosphere started getting her excited.

The receptionist finally looked up at her. "Mrs. Greenberg can see you now." Sienna was extremely nervous, but she grabbed her large folder and purse and walked into the office. It was more untidy than Sienna would have imagined. Mrs. Greenberg was sitting behind her desk with a super-size cup of coffee in one hand and her hand glued to the mouse of the computer with the other. She had her dark brown hair pulled up into a ponytail and several bangles lining up her arm. She also seemed much younger than Sienna would have imagined. She looked up when Sienna entered.

"Hi, Sienna, right?"

"Yes ma'am, how are you?"

"I'm just fine, have a seat. And please, call me Joanna," she said, as she cleared several papers from her desk.

"So, I hear you have an unusual request for me?" Joannna questioned.

"Um, yes, I do." Sienna took a deep breath, "I know I'm past late registration for this fall, but I was wondering if you could enroll me?"

Joanna Greenberg had to stop herself from laughing in this young girls face. She meant no harm, but there was just no way that was going to happen. Sure, kids had come in the last day of late registration and begged to be admitted, but this she was coming in asking to be enrolled when they started classes a week and a half from now.

"I'm sorry Sienna, but we've already admitted the total amount of new students and you are WAY past late registration," she said, sitting her coffee aside.

"I know Mrs. Green--Joanna, but if you have a moment, I'd like to explain myself."

Joanna leaned back in her chair. "Alright, go ahead."

"Okay, I have already been accepted into Spelman College. Until about 3 weeks ago, I had planned on attending that school with my best friend. We had been planning it since grade school. But plans change, and I really want to attend this university. I have maintained straight A's since I was in 7th grade, I was 3rd in my graduating class with a GPA of 4.1. I was captain of the volleyball team, president of Beta Club, a scholar athlete, Homecoming queen and I've logged several hours of community service for my church. And I say all of that to let you know that I know it's the 11th hour, but I would very much like to be accepted under my circumstances. I'm a really hard worker when it comes to my studies and I'm unbelievably determined. I truly believe I could excel here if given the chance."

"And what circumstances are those?"

"I'm 9 weeks pregnant and due in April."

Joanna looked at the young girl. "Why did you not attend a community college first? I'm sure they would accept you in a heartbeat."

"Because I wanted to attend a four year university. I know myself, and I know I could keep up with the curriculum."

"And what undergraduate program would you like to join?"

"The English Department. I'm especially interested in creative writing."

"Sienna, you seem like a really passionate, sweet young woman, and I can truly admire that. But what you're asking, is for me to go to the Dean of the English Department...who's a tough one by the way...and admit a pregnant student to an already full roster which is already locked and way past late registration. And he's going to ask me 'why', and I have nothing to tell him."

Sienna thought about that for a moment. "Can you tell him that when I graduate in 4 years that I will personally stop by his office in my cap and gown, with my baby and give him the biggest hug he's ever received and thank him for giving a young, ambitious girl a chance?"

Joanna couldn't help it. She laughed and gave Sienna a big smile. "You know what...I absolutely will tell him just that!"

"Thank you so much, Joanna," Sienna said, smiling from ear to ear herself.

"Alright, well just leave your application, transcripts, recommendations and anything else you have, with me."

"Yes ma'am. And I also have some samples of my writing if that helps."

"Couldn't hurt. I will have lunch with Dean Johnson tomorrow, and will hopefully have an answer for you then too. But don't set your hopes too high, Sienna, because he's a tough nut to crack. But if you are accepted, I'll need you to pay first year tuition that day, okay?"

"I understand, thank you," Sienna said and got up from the chair and shook Joanna's hand.

Outside, she looked around the campus. She said a silent prayer that she got in.

When she got in her car, she heard felt her phone vibrate. She looked down and the caller ID read: Temple, Brandon. She desperately wanted to answer it, but she knew she would do more harm than good. So she pressed 'ignore' and drove back home.

*********************

When Sienna made it back, her dad was in the kitchen cooking. The aroma hung in the air making her stomach growl. She was glad she finally got her appetite back.

He was chopping some tomatoes when she entered. "Hey baby, how did it go?" he asked.

"I guess okay, I won't know anything until tomorrow," Sienna answered, while grabbing some cucumbers to slice. Jackson looked up and noticed Sienna seemed down. He knew what the problem was. She wanted Brandon. He knew this was killing her. And Brandon for that matter.

He kept his eyes on the tomatoes when he asked, "Want to talk about it?" She shook her head and continued cutting the cucumbers. They both stood there diligently working over the food when Sienna decided to talk.

"Are you...are you disappointed in me?" she asked her father.

Jackson stopped cutting and looked up at her. She had her head down, slowly slicing way more cucumbers than needed. She had sucked in her bottom lip, like she had done all her life...his tell-tell sign that she was about to cry.

"Sienna , I've only been hurt at the fact that I thought you were shutting me out of your life. And I wish you would have come to me sooner with some of your problems so I could help you. I can't help it, I will always worry about you and do my absolute best to help you. I would gladly forfeit my own life, if it meant you could have a better one."

Sienna glanced up at her father.

"But no, I'm not disappointed in you. Not in the least. You are an amazing young woman with a great head on her shoulders. You're about to become a mom, and what do you do...you continue to pursue your studies, with no help from anyone. Your bravery astounds me and you could teach most of the men I know a thing or two about it."

Sienna started smiling through her tears. Her father was the best. Her mom was crazy for leaving him.

"Now, do you mind coming over here and giving your old man a hug?"

She laughed and skipped over to her father and gave him a strong bear hug. She loved him so much.

Later that night after dinner, Sienna went to her room and finally listened to her voice messages from Brandon. She had accumulated quite a few. It had been a week since they had last talked.

'Um, hey bab--Sienna, I was just calling to see how you were doing. If you can, just give me a call back to put my mind at ease. Okay, I lo—talk to you later. Bye.'

'It's me again. Hope everything is okay. Just call me when you get a second. Bye.'

'Hey, um, it's me. Again. I hope I'm not bothering you. I realize you aren't picking up and that's okay. *Sigh* I was thinking about you this morning—who am I kidding, I think about you all the time. Anyway, I hope you're having a good day.'

Sienna continued to listen to about 8 more messages until she got to the last one. She played it back.

'I'm miserable. I love you.'

Sienna pulled the phone from her ear and threw it on her dresser. She didn't know what she felt at the moment. She loved him. No doubt about that, but perhaps her perception of him when she was an eight year old girl who gave the name 'Brandon' to her Ken doll, needed to melt away in order to reveal the man he was now. He was not perfect. He was definitely flawed, but so was she. They both had hurt each other so much in such a short time. He cut her with his words, and she burned him with her actions. Maybe in that respect, they were perfect for each other.

She tried, but she couldn't erase the look of pain on his face when she revealed to him her plans to maybe abort and not tell him. He looked like a little boy then, much like how he looked when she had first met him. She remembered the feeling she got the very first time she laid eyes on her Prince Charming.

She had to chuckle to herself. Brandon was no Prince Charming. Actually, he's the guy who would have called Prince Charming a 'pussy' and then kicked his ass. That thought turned her small giggle into a full on laugh. She was sure her father heard her downstairs, but she couldn't help it. That was too funny.

But just as soon as the laugh had come, thinking about falling asleep tonight without him beside her, made her weep. God, she was such a wreck. She was sure it was her out of whack hormones due to the baby. Dr. Carlson said she'd act a little strange, and damn if she wasn't getting weirder by the day.

***********************

The next morning, Sienna awoke to go shopping with Tasha. Since Lori had left two days after she had gotten out of the hospital, Sienna needed some serious girl bonding time. All of her friends were getting ready for school, and didn't have much time for her. But she befriended Darren's new girlfriend, Tasha, who she had met at her father's birthday party.

Although Tasha was much older than Sienna, being a woman of 36 who already had a little boy, the two clicked immediately the second time they were together. After Sienna had left the hospital, she had been extremely depressed. Much to Darren's encouragement, Tasha brought over a little basket of goodies to cheer her up. At first they didn't really know what to say to each other, but by the end of her visit, Tasha seemed like that cool aunt that you would see on a TV show.

Tasha was so funny, beautiful and very much a strong woman. She had Darren wrapped around her little finger. Sienna couldn't imagine any woman having Brandon like that. Ug, she would have to quit thinking about him. When Tasha arrived, Sienna got in and they headed to the mall.

"So, have you thought of any names if it's a boy or girl?" Tasha asked, as they strolled through the different shops.

Sienna thought for a moment. "Hmm...no. I haven't really thought about it."

They still had some time to kill before Sienna had to go to her check up with Dr. Carlson, so they settled down in the food court. Sienna was starving. She was embarrassed about how much her hunger was starting to take over. She bought much more than she normally would have, but whatever. She was pregnant. She'd be getting bigger soon enough anyway.

"So, how did you meet him?" Tasha asked, taking a bite of her salad.

Sienna knew exactly who 'him' was. She sighed. "My dad was having a little mini milestone celebration for completing BUDs training. It's this really hard thing that they have to go through. I mean, I don't know how they do it," Sienna said, losing her train of thought.

"I know, Darren told me about. Jesus, they put those boys through hell."

"Yes, well he was having a cookout and I was running in the house about to head outside when I collided with him. I swear, my life was changed at that moment. Like some kind of fate or something," Sienna answered, remembering every detail of their first encounter. "I was eight and he was eighteen. The most handsome guy I think I'd ever seen."

Tasha agreed, "Yeah, he's a cutie, alright. He and Darren have been friends for a long time, right?"

Sienna nodded her head while downing her soda. "Yep, ten years. Same amount of time that I've known him."

Tasha wasn't sure she should ask anymore, but she wanted to learn about this interesting dynamic. "So...you're dad never had a problem with him being white?"

Sienna looked up. She had never really thought about it. "No, I don't think so. My dad always looked at Brandon like a part of our family. I doubt that would have ever bothered him."

"Hmm, well what about the age gap?"

"Well, if you think about it, in 5 years, who would really care. I'd be 23 and he would be 33."

"Yes, but that's very different than 18 and 28," Tasha reminded her.

Sienna thought about it. "Maybe. But I won't change. Even if I don't end up with him, I will always love him. No amount of age is going to change that. It's been embedded in my soul for ten years now, and has never wavered. Even now...I want him. I love him. But I've had to realize that maybe we weren't meant to be together. And it hurts so badly. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."

Tasha wasn't sure if it was the confidence with which she spoke, or the fact that she seemed older beyond her years at this moment, but she believed her. She knew this had to be hard on her...and him. Darren had talked about how depressed Brandon was. He didn't hang out with the guys anymore. Just mainly stayed in his house working on his project. Brandon had decided to remodel his guest room and turn it into a baby room. And when he would finish, he would knock it all down again and start over, claiming it wasn't perfect. Darren had helped him a few times, but after the third time of ripping their finished product down, Darren had taken a backseat with this project.

Tasha had thought about telling Sienna about the baby room, but decided to stay out of that part of their life.

"Well, how did you and Darren meet?" Sienna asked, stuffing her second chocolate chip cookie in her mouth.

Tasha laughed. "My Darren," she sighed. "Well, I never go out. Ever! I mean, I just got used to the idea that no men are good, and I'd just worry about making sure my son doesn't turn into any of the men I've met in my life, especially his no good daddy. But, I finally got persuaded by a co-worker to have drinks after work. And we went to this local little bar, and I saw him immediately when I walked in. He looked soooo good."

Tasha laughed again. "I actually kinda owe BT for our hook-up. I kept watching the two out of the corner of my eye, and they were cracking me up. I could tell that BT was trying to get Darren to go to talk to me, but Darren wasn't budging. So, after a few minutes, BT started walking toward me, and Darren tried to stop him, and as soon as they almost reached me, BT pushed him in my direction and then made a bee-line for the restroom. You should have seen Darren's face. He was so embarrassed that he had almost bumped into me. Or been pushed into me, more like it."

Sienna had to laugh at that too. Those two were funny together, when you let them loose. They were very much opposites, but that's why they clicked so much.

Tasha stared over at Sienna. "I had wondered why someone as attractive as BT wasn't talking to any of the women who tried to get his attention that night. But that was quickly answered when I met you at your father's party. He already had the perfect little woman," she said smiling at her.

Sienna slowly drank her soda. She wasn't perfect. Now, she was missing him again.

Tasha realized her mistake, "Shit, honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take you down memory lane. I just talk too much sometimes."

"No, it's okay. I asked."

After lunch, they walked past a baby store. Sienna was looking at all of the cute little tiny clothes when her phone rang. She didn't recognize the number, but she decided to answer anyway.

"Sienna?" she heard a female voice ask.

"Yes, this is she."

"Hi, it's Joanna at SDSU. Do you have a moment to talk?"

Sienna's stomach turned. She was so nervous.

"Um, yes, of course."

"Well, I talked to Dean Johnson a few minutes ago, and he said he had never heard of such a bold outrageous request. I mean, I had to really go to bat for you. I was pleading your case, and he wasn't buying it."

Sienna's heart started to sink. Shit. Maybe she should have let her father handle it.

"But...he's now somewhat intrigued by the whole thing, so he said he will admit you to his program and clear everything with Registrar! So welcome to San Diego State University!" Joanna laughed in her ear.

Sienna screamed into the phone. Tasha quickly ran over to her to see what was wrong.

"Oh my God, thank you sooo much Joanna! I really don't know what to say! Oh my God!" Sienna exclaimed.

"My pleasure, but truthfully it was all you. I told him exactly what you had told me. So congratulations. You will need to let me know what classes you want to take, so we can clear them with the professors. And I'll need the first year tuition paid in full either today or first thing tomorrow. That cool?"

"Yes, that's perfect. Thank you! I'll have my class list for you as soon as I get home." The two said their goodbyes, and Tasha just stared, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"I got in! I can go to SDSU this fall! In pretty much a week and a half!"

Tasha reached over and hugged her. "That is so great. I'm so happy for you!"

Sienna couldn't wait to tell her dad and Lori and Brandon...well, her dad and Lori. She was so excited to begin her new journey.

"Well missy, we better get going if we're going to make to your appointment on time," Tasha warned.

"Oh crap, I almost forgot," Sienna said while stuffing the last bit of food in her mouth and slurping the bottom of her soda.

Later that evening at dinner, Jackson cornered Sienna. He had been so proud of her for getting into San Diego State, but she could tell something else was bothering him.

"Look, I know this is tough on you, but I did want to say something," he said, as he passed her the salad.

"Okay."

"I think it would be a good idea if you called Brandon to at least let him know how the baby is doing. He's been asking me, but I think it's your place to tell him. If you're comfortable doing so."

Sienna knew it was the right and responsible thing to do, but it made her nervous. She hadn't spoken to him in a week and she wasn't really sure what to say. What do you say when you want someone so much, yet you're the reason you are apart.

But she didn't want her father to think badly of her, so she just nodded her head and told him 'okay'.

After dinner, she went to her bedroom and stared at her cell phone. She would try to keep it light and just about the baby. No 'I miss you and I love you' would leave her mouth. She finally built up enough courage to speed dial him, which of course, he was number one in her phone. He answered immediately.

"Hey," he quickly said, as if he'd been holding his breath.

"Um, hi," she said, already feeling a tingling just by hearing his sexy voice.

"How have you been?" He sounded happy to hear from her. Of course, it could just be her imagination.

"I'm good. Well, um, I went to the doctor today," she nervously replied, while biting her bottom lip.

"Yeah, your dad told me. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, the doctor said everything was good," she answered back.

"Good. I'm glad to hear that."

Awkward pause. She could hardly hear his TV in the background, and she tried to listen closely to tell what he had been watching.

"Do you need anything, because--" he continued.

"No," she quickly interrupted.

"Oh, okay." One simple word from her and he now sounded melancholy. She hadn't meant to sound that harsh, but this call was making her uncomfortable. Making her depressed.

"Um, if you don't mind, when you have your appointments, can you call and give me an update? I mean, only if you want to," he said, the last part really softly.

"Alright." She could tell he didn't want to hang up, but neither of them was sure what to say next. "So then, I'll call you after my next check-up?"