Dan and the Bottle

It had been a long day and Dan was limping home from his evening walk; a part of his self imposed therapy. He went for a two block walk every night, in a vain attempt to shed some of the extra pounds he'd gained during numerous hospital stays and while sitting for long hours at his computer, which was, basically, his last friend in the world.

Years of smoking, coupled with the wrong diet and not enough exercize, had reduced him to this.... he'd had a stroke over ten years ago, followed by back to back heart attacks, four months apart. To make matters worse, although he got a disability pension, it wasn't nearly enough to live on his own, and living with his family was sheer torture at times.... his younger sister was the ultimate packrat, and had stuffed both the basement and the garage with so much useless crap and nonsense that he was unable to use the numerous power tools he'd spent so much time and care acquiring, nor the multi channel home theater system that he'd built up over a twenty year span.

He sighed as he shuffled along, thinking, once again, about why he was bothering to go on living. He had thought, more than once, about sticking the .45 pistol under his bed in his mouth and pulling the trigger, just to see what came next. It wasn't like he had all that much to live for.... his strength and energy had vanished like a fart in a stiff breeze after the stroke, and his sex life, such as it had been, hadn't been far behind. Not that he'd had much of a sex life to begin with.... he'd been cursed with a small dick, and most of his sex partners, once they'd experienced his five and a half inch penis, only stuck around for the one night.

Less than half a block from his house, he spotted another bottle.... another ten cent deposit to add to the seven already in the bag he carried with him on his late night walks... it was the only way he could supplement his meager Social Security Disability income. He grabbed it.... glass, and heavy.... it wasn't a pop bottle, then, most of them were plastic these days. Looking it over, he saw that it wasn't any kind of beer bottle, either, or, at least, not any type he'd seen before. There was a cork stuck in the mouth of the heavy, rather ornate old brown bottle, and he tugged at it, trying to get a smell of what was in it. Finally freeing it, he was a bit surprised to see a small cloud of greenish smoke puff out. The cloud didn't dissipate, though.... it seemed to have a will of it's own, floating out until it was about four feet away, then expanding until it was a column, about six feet tall, and roughly three feet in diameter. Then it slowly solidified, until he was looking at what appeared to be almost a mirror image of himself.

"Thank, you, kind sir! I've been stuck in there for ages. What year is it?"

Dan just stood there, stunned speechless for a moment. "It's.... It's.... two thousand thirteen. How.... who.... how.....?"

"Oh, boy.... okay, first, relax, take a deep breath. Your reaction isn't too unexpected. I'm a Djinn."

"A.... gin?"

"No.... a Djinn... you know, like the old story of Alladin? Well, not exactly like that, but not far from it. Yes, I can grant you some wishes, though there are limits to what I can do.... I can't, for example, cause deliberate harm to another living creature on your behalf, though I can't stop you from doing so on your own. I can make you wealthy, though I can't give you 'all the money in the world'. That would be impractical, to say the least, and there has to be some sort of legitimate source of any money you get. I can modify your body, if you like, and make it so those who know you think the changes are natural. I can't give you a palace, but I can bring you enough wealth that you can buy one of your own, or have one built to your specifications.... or, if you buy the land, I can build what you want in the blink of an eye. Oh, and no, you're not limited to the 'three wishes' of the storybooks, though you are limited to one year of my services."

"How did you get here?" Poor Dan was still a bit in shock from this flood of information.

"Ok, you want the long version, or the short?"

"Uhhh.... short, I think... standing here is a bit taxing on me."

"Oh, my.... I'm sorry. I didn't realize...." The Djinn replied, peering closely at Dan for the first time. "Oh! I didn't realize your physical health was so poor!"

"Yeah, I'm in pretty bad shape.... is there anything you can do about that, by any chance?"

"Well, first, you'll have to tell me what all is wrong, and what needs to be changed."

"Ok.... well, to begin with, I'd like to be in perfect health.... as healthy as I was when I was a baby.... no damage to my lungs from decades of smoking and pollution, no heart trouble, no scars, strong enough to lift seven hundred pounds without too much strain, no numbness from the stroke I had, as a matter of fact, I'd like all damage from that to disappear, like it never happened. I'd like to be about six inches taller, about five foot ten inches, and I'd like to have a larger penis.... about ten and a half inches long, and about three inches wide should do. Not freakishly big, but big enough that women like what I have. Oh, and one more thing.... I want to be totally immune to disease of any kind, from the common cold to cancer. I don't want to be able to contract them or transmit them to anyone else. I also want to be completely free from my addiction to tobacco, while I'm thinking about it. I'd like to be, basically, about twenty five years younger than I am right now. Oh, one more thing... I'd like all of my senses to be more acute..... by, say, a hundred percent. That is my wish."

The Djinn's eyes flashed a deep shade of purple for a moment, and suddenly, Dan felt better than he had in years. "Will this do, Sir?"

Dan looked around, seeing things in a new perspective from his increased height. He took a deep breath, his senses heightened from where they had been, and took off the dollar store reading glasses he'd been wearing for the past several years, as he no longer needed them.

"Ok....wow.... walk with me." He said, setting off in the direction of his home.

Walking up to the garage of his Mother's house, he looked over his poor, dying Ford Ranger, which had sat, unmoving, for more than a year. His next wish came to him that quickly.

"Ok.... wait, what do I call you? It isn't polite to not speak your name when I address you."

"Well, my real name isn't exactly pronounceable by humans.... but you can call me what ever you like."

"Well, since you look exactly like me, how about I call you DJ?"

"It works for me."

"Ok, DJ, here's the next wish.... I want this little truck to be brand new.... like it just rolled off the assembly line.... with a gas tank that never runs out, lubricants that never have to be changed, and double the stock horsepower and towing capacity. I want it to be able to tow that boat over there as if it weighed a quarter of it's actual weight. Speaking of my boat, I want you to do the same to it... make it new; in fact, make it better than new.... I want it set up as a modern bass boat... livewells, fishfinder gear, bottom mounted cameras that show up on a small video screen on the dashboard, all completely waterproof, of course, and absolutely theft-proof.... I want it so that anyone who thinks of stealing it suddenly remembers urgent business elsewhere. I want the same for the truck, and one more thing... I want both of them to stay that way forever.... I never want to have to do any maintenance or repair on either one, ever again. That is my wish."

"Well thought out, and properly put." DJ replied, and his eyes flashed once again. Suddenly, both the truck and the boat looked new, with matching, gleaming smoky grey-blue paint jobs that reflected the nearby streetlight.

Dan looked over the two vehicles thoroughly, loving what he was seeing.

Inspiration struck, and he stopped for a moment, thinking carefully about what he had in mind before speaking again. "Ok, one more.... can you see into my mind?"

"Only with your permission, and only for a specific purpose."

"Alright, excellent. I would like two more things... first, a 1970 Chevelle SS 454, four speed Muncie transmission, 4.11 rear differential, triple black, leather interior, no stripes, a good interior with a nice AM/FM/Cassette deck, six speakers built in, and just enough power so I can hear it at what I consider a comfortable level.... same as the truck and the boat.... a gas tank that is always full of premium gasoline, zero maintenance, always insured and with plates and registration that renews itself as needed without me having to do anything. I want it to be brand new, with zero miles on it, and completely theft-proof. The other is a Harley Davidson motorcycle, a 1955 model 74 CID Panhead, again, exactly as I set up the car, the truck, and the boat.... always a full fuel tank, no maintenance required, absolutely theft-proof, always completely legal. Same color as the car."

DJ's eyes flashed again, and with a soft 'Baammpf' of displaced air, the car and the bike were both there, parked in the grass next to the garage in front of the old tri hull boat that was now Dan's pride and joy. "You will find that the keys are already on your keyring in the house, Master."

"Whoa, enough of that.... call me Dan.... if someone hears you calling me 'Master' in public, it could raise questions that I don't want to deal with."

"Yes, Dan. Shall we go inside?"

In the house, Dan found other things that needed upgrading. The ten year old tv was quickly replaced by a fifty inch plasma screen, all of his sister's junk vanished, as did her memories of it, all new furniture appeared in his basement living room, his aging laptop computer became a brand new, state of the art model, complete with all of his old files and passwords, and a six pack of his favorite beer and his favorite type of pizza appeared on the kitchen table.

"Ok, DJ.... now, about my financial situation.... I want a lawyer to turn up later today, to say that my great grandfather left me some money in a Swiss bank account, set up on the day of my birth, in the amount of seventy five million Swiss francs.... and it's been collecting interest all this time."

"Child's play." His eyes went vague for a brief instant, then flashed again, and he nodded. "The lawyer will be here in five minutes."

"But it's the middle of the night!''

DJ shrugged. "Makes no difference. The attorney won't remember a thing anyway."

"Excellent. The rest can wait until after I finish dealing with him."

"Actually, Dan, he's a she... and a rather attractive one, at that." DJ informed him, with just a hint of a smile.

"Even better." Dan replied with a grin.

After dealing with the attorney, who turned out to be a tall, thin bottle blonde, Dan once again looked over to DJ, who was amusing himself with the tv remote, and raised an eyebrow.

"Ok.... time for some, err.... feminine companionship. Hold on, let me fire up my computer for a minute, I'll show you the woman I'm interested in."

"Woman, Dan? You know you could have more than one."

Dan jerked around, staring. That happy little thought hadn't occurred to him. He thought it over for a second, but then shook his head. "No, I think I'll stick to just the one.... I could probably handle two at a time, but I'd rather just find one who actually loves me for me. I might be young again, but I've never been a threesome kind of guy. I'll take loyalty over variety any day."

DJ nodded thoughtfully. "Very wise. Most men would want a harem."

Dan chuckled. "Even as I am now, I'm not going to flatter myself that much. I'll settle for a little help getting her attention, then do the rest myself... can you tell, from her image on the computer, whether or not she's asleep?"

"I believe so.... Let me see what she looks like, and I'll check."

Dan fired up his new laptop, went to the social networking site he favored, and pulled up the profile of a mocha skinned beauty in her early thirties who he'd become chatting friends with over the past few weeks.

DJ concentrated on the picture for a few minutes and nodded. "She is, indeed, fast asleep. Should I summon her to your bed?"

"No.... I want her to come to me willingly. Can you simply allow me to enter her dream?"

DJ gazed at Dan for a few moments, a new respect forming for his new Master. "Sure.... Do you wish to control her thoughts?"

"No.... just a little 'meeting of the minds', as it were. I don't want to influence her, just give her a little nudge."'

DJ grinned again.... his new Master was much kinder than previous ones.

Dan looked around.... he was at a lakeside, and a single woman's clothing was neatly piled up well away from the water's edge, on a strip of grass that bordered a small, sandy beach. Half a dozen yards offshore, a head with long brown hair streaked with blonde bobbed just above the surface. He stepped down to the water's edge and crouched down, knees almost touching the sand.

"Hi, Barbara!"

She turned and stared, wide eyed, at him. "Dan?! How did you get here?"

"Beats me, hun.... it's your dream. At least, I think it is."

"Oh.... ok, I guess it is. But, why am I dreaming about you? I was just here for a quick dip."

"Haven't a clue, hun.... unless, maybe, you want to meet me, and this is your way of doing it."

"Oh.... well, can you walk away for a minute, so I can get out?"

He smiled a bit at her modesty. "Of course. I'll be over there, by the tree."

He waited, leaning easily against the ancient Walnut tree, while she walked up out of the lake, toweled herself dry, and dressed in the t shirt and blue jeans she'd come to the small lake in.

When she touched his arm, he turned, and she was smiling at him.

"Thank you."

He looked at her quizzically. "For what?"

"Being a gentleman. Most guys would have tried to sneak a peek."

"I'm not most guys, hun.... besides, I figure if you want me to look, that day will come along. No point in rushing it."

"Still, it's nice to meet a guy with manners. Unless that's just part of the dream. I kinda figured you were just some white boy, wantin' a taste of brown suga."

"No.... I'm like this in real life. Come to think of it, at first, I thought this was my dream."

"You're asleep?"

He nodded. "I think so.... the last thing I remember is laying down, watching a poker tournament on tv, then I was suddenly here. Hey.... this place looks a little familiar..... Northville, over by the old hospital?"

She nodded. "My parents used to bring me here, when I was young. You know this place?"

He pointed off to the west.... "I used to work at a little shop, about two miles down the road.... stopped off here a few times a week with a fishing rod to unwind after a long day. It was the first machine shop I worked in."

"Oh, ok.... " She noticed he hadn't commented on her 'brown suga' remark. Maybe meeting him wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.

"Well, I need to get going.... can I drop you somewhere?"

She looked up the low hill, realizing, for the first time, that there was a car there.... it looked like an old 'musclecar' she'd seen at a few of the car shows her dad had taken her to over the years. "Oh, wow..... is that yours?"

He nodded... "It's my weekend cruisin' car. I usually drive my truck."

"Ok... well, if it isn't too much trouble..."

"Honey, any excuse to drive my baby there is a good one. Besides, it gives me a chance to spend a little more time with you."

"Are you flirting with me?"

He grinned and nodded. "Hey, as long as we're sharing a dream, I might as well try to make a good impression, right?"

He walked with her to the passenger side, opened the door for her, then walked around to the driver's side and jumped in, securing the seat belts and firing up the engine, the big block settling into a throaty rumble. He slipped the cassette into the player as he slid the shifter into reverse, and the opening strains of an old Rush tune filled the space. Within moments, they were on the freeway, headed towards the city.

"You'll have to direct me to your place."

She smiled, a bit nervously.... dream or not, did she dare show him where she lived? Oh, what the hell, this wasn't real, was it? "I'm on Cherry Hill, just past Henry Ruff."

"Oh, those apartments by that little strip mall?"

"How did you know?"

"I used to drive a cab for a living.... Had two people I picked up there on a regular basis. One older gentleman, took him to his doctor appointments, and one young woman, took her to her job down at a strip club in Detroit." He grinned. "She always paid me in singles."

"Dark skinned black woman, late twenties, big.... er.... boobs, and a bit of a big booty?"

"That was her.... Her name was Annie. I used to call her Awesome Annie."

She arched an eyebrow at that, replying "Oh? Why did you call her that?"

"She was always nice to me.... she never let that job get to her, she was always a sweetheart... one time, one of the other drivers told her the next day was my birthday. She called in ahead of time that day, told our dispatcher she wanted me, specifically, to pick her up. When I dropped her off, she walked around to my door, leaned in, gave me a big old kiss.... with tongue, mind you, which was something she'd told me she never did with strangers in the club, then gave me a twenty dollar tip and a little film vial full of some very high grade weed, said "Happy Birthday, Honey" and went on into the club."

"Oh, wow!... Did you and her ever.... get together, outside of work?"

"No.... I wasn't her type. She told me, once, if I had been a black man, she might have been giving me a lap dance all the way to work, but I was a short white guy with a beer belly."

"You don't seem that short!"

He chuckled. "Hun, she's, what, 6'4" without the heels? She towered over me. I'm only 5'10" with my shoes on. Besides, I had a girlfriend at the time, and I was loyal to her. I had a few chances, back when I was driving, but I didn't want to cheat on her."

"What happened to her?"

"Well...... let's just say that loyalty has to go both ways. She wasn't quite as loyal to me as I was to her."

The words seemed to bring a pained expression to his face, and she let the matter drop, although she continued to think about it. 'She must have hurt him pretty bad... he looks pretty torn up by the memory.'

She looked back out of the windshield and saw that he was pulling into the circular driveway of her apartment building. "You DO know the place!"

He nodded. "Like I said.... old cabdriver. I haven't been back here since I quit that job, though."

"Ok, well.... thanks for the ride. I'll talk to you later." She leaned across the seat, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and jumped out, walking to the front door.

He dropped the shifter back into first gear, pulled back into traffic, and.... was back in his body, at his house.

DJ greeted him with a warm smile; he'd watched the entire episode from a distance, and was impressed. God had chosen well, this time.

Dan looked around, a bit startled to be back. Looking out through the back doorwall, he saw that the Chevelle was right where he'd left it.

"Well, Dan, do you think the young lady received enough of a 'nudge'?"

"We'll see.... I'll give her a day or two to think on it. Meanwhile.... you know, you never did answer my question."

DJ lifted an eyebrow. "Oh? Which question was that?"

"How did you get here? I mean.... did you land in my path on purpose?"

DJ got a rather closed, guarded look on his face. He wondered just how much he should disclose.

"Well.... in a way, yes. My bottle is what you might call a 'fudge factor'. God made it, and me, to fix some of the mistakes he's made, in times when he's been particularly rushed. If I am dropped in your path, odds are you're a good man who just got a shitty deal of the cards, so to speak. He sends me to fix things."