All Comments on 'Day Tripper'

I like the way it ended. Teamwork !

GRRReeeaaatttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ending too abrupt, otherwise good story.

Nicely done.

I cant keep reading your stories... You dont complete the end!! Its such a nerve reclking....

The ending needed a bit more!! The two cheaters needed to be burned....the confrontation was all too fucking polite!! They should have had them served in bed

And the stories without proper endings means you have a limited imagination

If you look at this as a short novel/ novella, it's almost exactly as it should be. A space of time in the protagonist's life of a novel quality is covered. That's what a novel in sensu stricto is about. This story contains the kernel for what happens next though, the divorces, the girls living with the respective wronged parent. Those four will most likely continue to live at their present homes, the girls will further their education at their recent schools. It's all mentioned at the end and going through the motions of telling this in detail is usually not included in a novel story in the narrower sense. The fate of the cheaters you have the freedom to use your imagination for.

If this was a drawn out screed I'd expect a more detailed and protracted epilog myself.

Please excuse me mincing words here, it was too tempting. In German the term 'Novelle' is traditionally used for a, usually, shorter format, a novella that concentrates on an extraordinary event, preferably containing 'not heard of' elements, in short, something of a novel quality. A (longish) novel such as "War and Peace", "Crime and Punishment" or "The Quiet Don" is labeled 'Roman' in German. Im not sure the term 'romance' is adequate. A 'Roman' doesn't necessarily include any romantic content, I don't know if the same is true for a 'romance'?

Nice story, but I don't think your softball details work out on the last game if the daughter pitched a one hitter, but not important, just wondering.

From the mouths of babes.

FTDS

PLEASE TO BE CONTINUED WITH THE STORY ABOUT TIM AND BROOKE LIVES BEING CONTINUED AFTER THE DIVORCE.

I agree with many others about the abrupt ending. I'm a reader, not an author. I don't want to imagine what happens next, I want to read it!

Also, why did she do it? When and how did they meet? What was she thinking? She apparently did love him so why? I doubt we will ever find out.

The only saving grace is the Brook character.

Decent enough story,though I think it could have done with a bit more.The ending is nothing event.

Wow truly pathetic excuse for a Man relying on his kid to make every single decision because he's too upset 😭😭😭 FUCKING CUCKLOVERS

It's kind of ironic that this is one of the better Loving Wives stories you managed to write and you put it in a different category...

3 stars - this story says more about Brook than any of the other characters.

Good story, just missing the aftermath to make it a great one.

Nicely written but would have liked to had a little more after the celebration in the room

Like the idea of Brook, the daughter leading the way and explaining to her Dad. The hiding of the car was great, but no explanation of how Nat found her car, which would have been funny. Overall, good idea, dialogue was a little off or forced.

The daughter made it so embarrassing for her father in that hotel room, this was a perfect LW story for a serious BTB ending....

I loved it!!

Ending was too short. It needs and aftermath.

Another rushed ending, I mean damn, you sprinted that boy to the finish

Cute,

Tim is a wuss

🙄🤔hmmm🤣👍😁

HDK. Is one of my favourite authors, but sadly this wasn't one of his best. The daughter was much to good to be true.

They should have done more and taken photos

Great story but I felt the ending was light. Could have had a bit more.

We are dealing with fantasy, and as such, we live in the reality created by the author, I think it was well-done and applauded the shift in frame of reference from the standard first or third person offended person to an active third. 5 stars. If every story was a protracted BTB it would get old and boring. If they were all cuck work with loser husbands it be irritating and tasteless. Keep up the variety.

Five stars, although the final sentence was lame. I really liked the Brook character. One comment on your writing. Unlike most (all?) Lw authors, you give life to conversations by varying how something is said. Most just write Tim said, Sally said. You seem to have an endless supply of "allowed, revealed, concluded" etc. Refreshing. This will go over a lot of heads, but I appreciate it.

JPB

Another good story with a very weak ending!!

Good thing he had a very smart daughter or he would still be wandering around trying figure out what his wife could possibly be doing with that other man!!!

Stupid. You have the so-called wife and the scumbag just go on and keep doing it, or do it to somebody else? You're little "divorce as a consequence" is week and lame and yes, stupid. Hard to tell when a writer is just being stupid, or when they're pushing an ugly agenda.

why don't you finish a story?all your endings suck!

Brook must be descended from Sherlock Holmes or Monk.

Perfect place to end the story on my opinion. They were caught

Their spouses told them don't come back home. Divorce follows and the cheated upon partners do their best to rebuild their lives which I'm sure they will. The cheaters are exposed and have to deal with the consequences of their actions. Enough said as they say. BardnotBard

A good start but needs more.

Great story, a bit rapid on the ending. Would like to have heard about states and beyond. Thank you.

Wow some of these readers have some real anger issues! Natalie reaped the exact consequences that her behavior warranted, loss of her marriage, her relationship with her daughter, any standing she may have had in her family, the financial costs of divorce and starting over. Also any self respect she had as a person. Infidelity is very painful and has a ripple effect on the lives around us as well. Fantasies of crushing the betrayers lives are fine but in real world the best revenge is healing as best you can and living the best life you can going forward

I love stories about smart daughters, but I can't see her calling her dad a cuckold. She would phrase it differently. Just my opinion. Good story.

That was great. Brook was amazing. Ending felt like a well deserved mic-drop. Boom! As Natalie's life implodes...

If only all fathers could have kids such as Brook.

Enjoyed the ending!