All Comments on 'Day Tripper'

Enjoyed the ending!

If only all fathers could have kids such as Brook.

That was great. Brook was amazing. Ending felt like a well deserved mic-drop. Boom! As Natalie's life implodes...

I love stories about smart daughters, but I can't see her calling her dad a cuckold. She would phrase it differently. Just my opinion. Good story.

Wow some of these readers have some real anger issues! Natalie reaped the exact consequences that her behavior warranted, loss of her marriage, her relationship with her daughter, any standing she may have had in her family, the financial costs of divorce and starting over. Also any self respect she had as a person. Infidelity is very painful and has a ripple effect on the lives around us as well. Fantasies of crushing the betrayers lives are fine but in real world the best revenge is healing as best you can and living the best life you can going forward

Great story, a bit rapid on the ending. Would like to have heard about states and beyond. Thank you.

A good start but needs more.

Perfect place to end the story on my opinion. They were caught

Their spouses told them don't come back home. Divorce follows and the cheated upon partners do their best to rebuild their lives which I'm sure they will. The cheaters are exposed and have to deal with the consequences of their actions. Enough said as they say. BardnotBard

Brook must be descended from Sherlock Holmes or Monk.

why don't you finish a story?all your endings suck!

Stupid. You have the so-called wife and the scumbag just go on and keep doing it, or do it to somebody else? You're little "divorce as a consequence" is week and lame and yes, stupid. Hard to tell when a writer is just being stupid, or when they're pushing an ugly agenda.

Another good story with a very weak ending!!

Good thing he had a very smart daughter or he would still be wandering around trying figure out what his wife could possibly be doing with that other man!!!

Five stars, although the final sentence was lame. I really liked the Brook character. One comment on your writing. Unlike most (all?) Lw authors, you give life to conversations by varying how something is said. Most just write Tim said, Sally said. You seem to have an endless supply of "allowed, revealed, concluded" etc. Refreshing. This will go over a lot of heads, but I appreciate it.

JPB

We are dealing with fantasy, and as such, we live in the reality created by the author, I think it was well-done and applauded the shift in frame of reference from the standard first or third person offended person to an active third. 5 stars. If every story was a protracted BTB it would get old and boring. If they were all cuck work with loser husbands it be irritating and tasteless. Keep up the variety.

Great story but I felt the ending was light. Could have had a bit more.

They should have done more and taken photos

HDK. Is one of my favourite authors, but sadly this wasn't one of his best. The daughter was much to good to be true.

🙄🤔hmmm🤣👍😁

Cute,

Tim is a wuss

Another rushed ending, I mean damn, you sprinted that boy to the finish

Ending was too short. It needs and aftermath.

I loved it!!

The daughter made it so embarrassing for her father in that hotel room, this was a perfect LW story for a serious BTB ending....

Like the idea of Brook, the daughter leading the way and explaining to her Dad. The hiding of the car was great, but no explanation of how Nat found her car, which would have been funny. Overall, good idea, dialogue was a little off or forced.

Nicely written but would have liked to had a little more after the celebration in the room

Good story, just missing the aftermath to make it a great one.

3 stars - this story says more about Brook than any of the other characters.

It's kind of ironic that this is one of the better Loving Wives stories you managed to write and you put it in a different category...

Wow truly pathetic excuse for a Man relying on his kid to make every single decision because he's too upset 😭😭😭 FUCKING CUCKLOVERS

Decent enough story,though I think it could have done with a bit more.The ending is nothing event.

The only saving grace is the Brook character.

I agree with many others about the abrupt ending. I'm a reader, not an author. I don't want to imagine what happens next, I want to read it!

Also, why did she do it? When and how did they meet? What was she thinking? She apparently did love him so why? I doubt we will ever find out.

PLEASE TO BE CONTINUED WITH THE STORY ABOUT TIM AND BROOKE LIVES BEING CONTINUED AFTER THE DIVORCE.

FTDS

From the mouths of babes.

Nice story, but I don't think your softball details work out on the last game if the daughter pitched a one hitter, but not important, just wondering.

If you look at this as a short novel/ novella, it's almost exactly as it should be. A space of time in the protagonist's life of a novel quality is covered. That's what a novel in sensu stricto is about. This story contains the kernel for what happens next though, the divorces, the girls living with the respective wronged parent. Those four will most likely continue to live at their present homes, the girls will further their education at their recent schools. It's all mentioned at the end and going through the motions of telling this in detail is usually not included in a novel story in the narrower sense. The fate of the cheaters you have the freedom to use your imagination for.

If this was a drawn out screed I'd expect a more detailed and protracted epilog myself.

Please excuse me mincing words here, it was too tempting. In German the term 'Novelle' is traditionally used for a, usually, shorter format, a novella that concentrates on an extraordinary event, preferably containing 'not heard of' elements, in short, something of a novel quality. A (longish) novel such as "War and Peace", "Crime and Punishment" or "The Quiet Don" is labeled 'Roman' in German. Im not sure the term 'romance' is adequate. A 'Roman' doesn't necessarily include any romantic content, I don't know if the same is true for a 'romance'?

And the stories without proper endings means you have a limited imagination

The ending needed a bit more!! The two cheaters needed to be burned....the confrontation was all too fucking polite!! They should have had them served in bed

I cant keep reading your stories... You dont complete the end!! Its such a nerve reclking....

Nicely done.

ending too abrupt, otherwise good story.

GRRReeeaaatttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like the way it ended. Teamwork !

People keep talking about your endings. I believe you leave those up to the reader. The mind is very strong. Keep up the great work.

Finally someone took the wayward spouse's car!

I had to say i hate it as i am totally sick of your stories not having a proper ending

I love your stories, have read a dozen or more. The premise is always great, but the development, depth, and story really could be another 10 pages or more. This is true of most of the stories. Thank you for sharing your talent. I would like you to start writing chapeter 2's on many of these great stories.

My stepdaughter told me that her mother was cheating on us. At 15,she chose to live with me because her mother lied to her so often. I'M proud of her for seeing right from wrong. Short story and told well I agree that it needs a better ending.

Good story, but a rather abrupt ending. It would benefit from a Capter 2 I think.

Whats there is well done, but this story screams for more

The story needs an ending.

Good start for a story, but a little short on the ending. It needs a more robust ending .

The ending should have been when Shithead and whore moved out of town together . Never to see any of the Grandchildren . That their Daughters had

seems like half a story

That was a good one! I love when they are caught in the act and naked and they always say "it's not what it looks like"??????? 5 stars it makes for the other two I read that were a not up to your standards. 5 stars

Why, oh why, oh why, do these faceless people keep on complaining about the stories being incomplete?

The story is about the catch, not the divorce. There are plenty of stories on tis site about divorce, it would be the same old shit just repeating itself.

If it required anything more, it would have been an Epiloge about the mother having to watch her daughter leaving the church after geting married from across the street because she hadn't been invited to the wedding.

Another story without a proper ending. Ninety per cent of the story pretty much writes itself. I have read it over and over and over again. It's a do-it-yourself story. The only "original" element if the daughter's part.

was enjoying this until story interuption.

Ok story but missing an ending

What a pathetic portrayal of a moronic wimp! In spite of all the evidence staring him in the face, he is still in denial. Fortunately he had an intelligent daughter, who sized up the situation for him. Too many stories, with good plots, are left unfinished, with abrupt endings. Does this author think it's a clever ploy?! Or enhances the merit of a story?!

Improve your endings writing is not a race!! Well

I enjoyed the story but wish there was more of an ending.

Maybe Steve and Natalie loosing their jobs because of the embarrassment the Company would have if it got out that 2 of their executives were cheating mongrels. How can any client trust a company that allows that.

That was satisfying

Good story. Could have been great with more of an ending/epilog.

Great story, I loved it. When I lived through mine, I wish I could have thought about moving the car.

Great burn.

Finish the story. Ass wipes need a better send off. By the way love the story. AAAA+++++

That's it! Finished! I don't think so. The story is an incomplete effort in my book. What happened afterwards, fun and games?

I agree the story needs a second chapter. It feels unconcluded

Great story, made even better by the daughter revealing that her mother is a cheating whore..

What Helen1899 said. Your forte is leaving the last few paragraphs for the reader to finish.

Loved it, but would have enjoyed it more with a better ending

I agree with everything anonymous says in regards to great story, 5* and epilogue

Susan and Tim get together great story.

Short and sweet. 5*s. A lot of these stories could be brought to a conclusion with a short Epilogue..Wonder why authors who truncate their otherwise excellent stories don't use this method. The Epilogue could be as short or long as they wished and although readers can come to their own conclusions quite easily, they really prefer the author to do the rounding off. Just saying.

Agree - great story but would have loved to see events unfold in the end... 5*

Good story. Too short, though.

Great daughter!

Great story. I just wish you had gone a little farther to resolve the ending. Might have been a 5.

I always get a chuckle from your stories. You are the only author I know that can write a comedy from a tragedy. You not only take the sting out of a cheating wife story but provide some humor for your readers in an already stressful world. That's entertainment, unfortunately I noticed that a lot of readers are unable to pick up on your subtle humor or choose not to. Oh well, you can't please everyone. I did see some readers wanting more. Please, don't let another author write a sequel. They never capture the HDK essence and end up ruining the story. Thank you

Ending is too abrupt,there as got to be more.

It's more of an after thought.

Fun, ups and downs, hang on for the ride. Well written.

Curious as to how Sweetie found her car. Sure her Bull did not drive around with her from parking lot to parking lot. Only thing I can think of is that the Lexus probably had a Call-for-Aid system that usually activates from within the car, but probably also can be called upon if the car is stolen! Shoulda been addressed, I think. Another great HDK offering.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold

OK, a good story. What's not to like, a smart ass kid who's more street smart/grown up smart than her dad and a two dimensional mom who cheats.

Good quick story.

I'm loving the tie in with song names and lyrics on the stories this author has.

I like the story so far but i would like for you to expand on it. Hiding the car was good but it should have told the wife she was busted at that point. She apparently didn't care. Asking for the spare set of keys really that just told them she knew she was caught and didn't care. Need the pain and divorce story now. You have the best set up just finish the story.

This story is okay, the end is a bit over the top but, fine.

The other comments are fine too but, I’d like to read their stories or maybe they’d like to write about shutting the hell up about what they want. Read the story and tell the writer what can be better. No body writes a perfect story but, this is a good one that satisfy some of us.

Car driven further and hidden better

Poor ending ,everything is left hanging.

We needed more that ending was to abrupt

I agree with one of the other comments....they should have driven the car back home!

That would have sucked all the air out of the sluts story!!

Why is it that every slut wife when caught naked with her lover says,"this isn't what it looks like" or,"it is not what you think" or something similar?! What other explanation can they provide? A further paragraph/ epilogue could have completed this story and maybe the slut's Suv could have been parked further away and perhaps better hidden.still, 5*s.

That kid couldn't have come from his dna or hers for that matter. That girl had more balls then him and certainly stronger morals then the Mom. Must have been switched at birth.

And parked it in the garage. How would mom have explained that one? But the story didn't end with enough suffering for the cheating slut or her boyfriend.

She and Dad handled things like champs. Great.story.

Enjoyed it but only 3 stars as it needed finishing

They should have moved the Lexus across town, and, cut all 5 valve stems. Let her explain that, if they even managed to find the car! The champagne toast was a great climactic event.

4 stars. Would have been 5 if you had a chapter telling us what happened next. Did they meet? Did the cheaters stay together or did he dump her? Did she end up a wreck?