Dear Diary Ch. 01

"Oh my god!" Susan murmured without thinking, as her body now seemed to have a mind of its own. Her hips began pushing back into the source of the pleasure and her head lowered as she moaned again.

"Oh mom." Peter grunted out as he thrust into her particularly hard, causing her to gasp again. But he speaking like that brought her out of her fugue state and she realized what she had been doing. She pushed back hard, knocking him away from her and she turned, starting to walk out of the washroom. As soon as she looked up she saw the girls again in the kitchen at the table…which had an unobstructed view of the open washroom. Susan stopped as she saw both girls had been watching what had happened. Genie's mouth was agape, not believing what she had seen; even Mary looked surprise, though she as always had a slight smile on her lips. It was too much for Susan.

"WHAT? WHAT!" Was all she shouted as she looked at the girls, then she twirled to face her son. "Not again…ever!" She growled as she gave him a hurt and hateful look. She turned and hurried from the kitchen, slamming her bedroom door behind her after she entered in. She threw herself onto her bed and sobbed, her pent up frustration and anger pouring from her eyes. Her pillow was quite soaked when a while later there was a knock on her door. She chose to ignore the knock, till another came a minute later. She lifted her head and looked back at the door, thinking it was Genie and told her to come in. The door opened, but it was Mary who stuck her head in the door.

"Mommy, can I come in?" Mary asked softly. Susan looked at her and nodded. Susan thought that usually the only time Mary called her mommy and not mom was when she wanted something. She watched her daughter come in and close the door behind her, taking a seat next to her mother on the bed. "Are you ok mommy?" Mary asked her mother, hand now resting on Susan's back. Susan looked at her daughter and tried to smile.

"Yes I'm ok, I'm ok sweetie, I'm…" Susan started to say, forcing a smile, which faded from her face and she started to cry again. "No…no mommy's not ok. I'm sad; I'm frustrated, I'm confused, pissed off, feeling pissed on, and just generally not feeling OK!" Susan exclaimed, not angrily but with vehemence. She then looked at her daughter and saw she was fighting a losing battle with laughter…which she lost as soon as she saw her mother notice her. Susan coldly just waited for her daughter to stop laughing enough to talk to her.

"I'm sorry mommy, but your face was really funny right then and you're mad at me now, but…you had a funny face as you vented. But I am sorry if you feel bad." Mary said frankly and sincerely and Susan knew she was honestly trying to cheer her up…which it did ever so slightly. Susan scooted closer to her daughter and placed her head on her daughter's leg and did her best to hug her from position on her stomach.

"I know you are sweetie and I'm sorry I got mad, it's just…well…what your brother is doing is driving me nuts." Susan explained, feeling more exposed with Mary then she had with Genie and unsure of herself, as if Mary could see into her soul.

"I know mommy, with him…you know, touching you and all. You are completely tense mom. Your back is all hunched up." Mary said, running her hand over her mothers back. "Want me to massage your back?" Mary offered as she played her hand over some of Susan's knotted muscles and a massage now sounded real good to her now. She just nodded and stretched her arms out and straightened her body on the bed. "Ok, let me get over you." Mary said as she moved up on the bed and straddled her hips onto her mothers butt. Susan felt better right away as her daughter kneaded her shoulders and neck.

"Oh god Mary, that feels so good." Susan moaned out as she felt days of tension being eased from her muscles. She continued to melt as Mary did her work.

"Feeling better mommy?" Mary asked softly as she continued down to her mothers mid back, working the muscles on either side of the spine.

"Oh god yes, that feels good." Susan purred out, feeling sleepy now, wondering if this would put her to sleep. She felt Mary reach the top of her hips and Susan felt one of her bones pop with the massage, and it felt so relaxing after it did. "Ah that felt good…keep it up sweetie and I might fall asleep." Susan murmured out to her daughter.

"It's ok if you do mommy, I don't mind." Mary said as her hand shifted and moved down to her mother butt, continuing her massage. Susan tensed up a bit.

"Mom, relax…your butt is one big muscle and its tense. And I've massaged here before." Mary said truthfully, though Susan thought that at the time you were maybe seven and you liked to massage your mother and she couldn't say no to her seven year old half giving her a half tickling massage. But she did relax, thinking Mary's massage technique had improved since the age of seven. Susan felt her daughter slid down her body and her hands massaged the tops of her thighs and legs. Susan felt her world growing fuzzy and she smiled as she started dreaming.

Susan found that she was flying, without a plane and it felt wonderful. She could even feel the air through her hair and her skin tingled all over. She even enjoyed it as it began raining lightly, the drops stinging on her skin in nice ways, sending shivers from her toes to her hair. She glided over a body of water and she reached down and ran her fingertips through the top of it and felt it flow between them, splashing her skin with cold drops. Now she felt the wind as it drove toward her…over her, through her. She grew excited as the wind wrapped rain followed her body and she began to grow excited as she felt the rain conform to her body and stream out between her legs and down them. She felt the water as it slid down between her ass cheek and then onto her slit below and she shivered greatly, opening her legs more as she fly. Then she felt the water tugging at her skin of her legs and she felt a sharp pain along her leg and opened her eyes…

"Mary, what are you doing?" Susan murmured out as she noticing her daughter had pulled down her pants, having them already past the lift or her hips and halfway down her thighs.

"The pants were getting in the way, they are too thick and are harder to massage through. So I figured to take them off is all. Also I thought you were asleep and I didn't want you sleeping with them on." Mary told her, her face slightly flushed. Susan looked at her for a few seconds.

"Well I'm back awake and thank you for the massage sweetie; I feel mush more relaxed now." Susan said honestly, feeling more relaxed then she had for some time. She just had a funny feeling as she looked at her daughter. Mary smiled at her.

"No problem mommy. If you get tense again I don't mind giving massages if you need one." Mary said, then leaned forward and hugged her mother. Susan hugged her back, though she noticed her pants were still down and Mary was resting on top of her.

"Ok sweetie, I should be getting up." Susan said when Mary made no move to get up after a bit. Mary quickly got moved off and stood up from the bed, offering her hand to help her mother up. Susan took it, standing up and pulling her pants back up seconds after. "I'll be in the other room in a minute sweetie." Susan told her daughter, and Mary too the hint and turned to leave.

"Ok mommy." Mary said as she left the room, closing the door as she did. Susan looked at the door after she had left; sitting on the bed for a few minutes and wondered about the short dream she had while asleep.

Oct. 8

After what happened yesterday, I felt guilty around Mike after he got home last night. I know he sensed something was wrong, but I tried to put it aside and Mike must have forgotten my mood or else he figured I felt better. But when we got into bed I was extremely excited. I ravished him for hours until he begged off anymore and had to sleep. I slept as well, better then I have for weeks I think. Maybe if I just don't worry about what Peter does and take out my sexual thoughts on my husband later that evening things will be ok. I've let things get to me for weeks now and too be honest; Mike and I have had sex less then usual recently. Maybe I need to express my pent up feelings and not let them stay in.

Oct 11

I'm not sure if what I did was right yesterday after the kids came home. Mike and I have been having sex the past few nights, I've been insatiable and I've been in a much better mood. Peter hasn't let up on the grabbing and dry humping, if anything he's doing it more. But I haven't let it bother me, just the opposite, I've been looking forward too it to super charge me for later that night when I'm with Mike. But I think I got too playful yesterday. Peter had felt me up a few times already since he got home and too be honest I was very wet between my legs, and very horny. I can't believe what I did. And the girls were in the same room and saw me do it! I walked up on Peter from behind in the living room and I thought he was about to turn and when he did I pretended to stumble and I grabbed with one hand to steady myself at his shoulder, but I aimed my other at his groin and I grabbed his crotch. I must admit my aim was good because I could tell he wasn't hard, at least for all of half a second. As I steadied myself, my hand kept in contact with his erection. I must admit it seemed to be about the same size as my husbands, though I can't say for sure. After about eight seconds I leaned back up and removed my hand, apologizing for my clumsiness to him.

He had a bemused look on his face and I knew he knew what I had done. I felt my face blush and I looked at the girls. I saw on their faces that they knew as well. I also saw that Genie had a pillow in her lap and as I looked she moved her hand under the pillow and I saw her blush. I gasped as her arm moved and I knew she must be contacting her groin in some way, her fingers or her palm. I felt a shiver run through me and I grew quite hot between my legs very quickly. I wonder now if I didn't have a small orgasm right there. But I also felt a huge wave of guilt and quickly left the room and headed to my bedroom. I had to masturbate to relieve some of the pressure, otherwise I would never make it too when Mike got home. I really wish I hadn't been as stupid as I was, this can only make matters worse I'm sure.

Oct. 13

I hate being right! Yesterday Peter started getting bolder. As I was doing dishes at the sink he came up behind me as always, with the excuse of looking in the cabinets above me. He began thrusting into me and I couldn't help it, I pushed back into him slightly, even rotating my hips around. Too be honest I grew very wet and was actually enjoying the game. But Peter changed the rules and brought his hands down to his side, which usually ends it and then he leaves. But this time he hesitated and then I felt his hand touch my arm, I jerked slightly, but thought he was going to hug me.

But no, his hand kept going and touched the side of my breast…I stopped moving my hips, but he continued and in a second was palming my whole breast, massaging my nipple. I felt it like a little hard shriveled flower in his hand that ached now very hard. I then felt him bring up the other one and then felt him complete the set. He then brought his hand down and I felt his thumbs as they rubbed and flexed my nipples. Instinctively I pushed my hips back into him and moaned. I looked over with hazy eyes and saw that Genie was the only one of the girls in audience at that moment…not sure where Mary was. But I woke when I saw that Genie was slouched in the chair as she looked at me…us. I also noticed her fingers as they vigorously rubbed away at the crotch of her jeans, no pillow to hide her movements, and even though she blushed crimson at my stare, she didn't stop. In fact after I gasped in disbelief…or was it desire…I saw her gasp loudly and watched as her body began to shake and she gasped yet again as she closed her eyes, her fingers now flying between her legs. I then felt my legs go weak and my tummy shudder and I gushed between my legs, having just orgasmed as well.

Panting I closed my eyes for a second, seeing stars. I still felt Peter's hands on my breasts, his fingers actually as they pinched my nipples. I grew mad, very mad. At myself. I elbowed Peter in the chest…hard. He complained and I growled he needed to go to his room. I took a deep breath and then looked at Genie, who was now getting up. I meet her as she stood and just looked into her eyes. I walked forward and embraced her, and then I started sobbing and telling her I was sorry, over and over. She was nodding and sobbing as well. We stayed like that for some time…I'm not sure how long. But we quietly just stopped crying, I then leaned over and gave her a kiss on the lips, I'm sure it was motherly and not more, I think we had both had enough of 'more' for then. She then quietly left the kitchen and I followed a few minutes later, feeling very numb.

Oct.14

Mike noticed again that I was acting strangely, though he asked me about it quietly this time instead of at the table. I didn't know what to say really but blew it off as just a passing phase…

"Susan what has been bothering you these past few weeks? You've been very…distracted it seems. One day you're withdrawn and quiet and the next you can be bouncing off the walls happy." Michael asked his wife after they got back to their bedroom. She had insisted the remove themselves to the bedroom if he wanted to talk in private, she kept it to herself that it was the only room in the house where she felt safe. She just looked at him as he talked, feeling very meek.

"Nothing in particular Mike, I'm just feeling a bit put out is why…and before you ask I can't say why, I'm not totally sure myself. I've just been preoccupied with some things and been letting little things bother me and get too me." Susan said as calmly as she could, telling him hidden half truths and run around arguments, that she hoped he would buy. And at the same time part of her screamed inside for him not to and to take her and shake her and scream at her, demanding to know what was going no till she told him. He snorted softly at her, and smiled.

"And you said pretty much nothing then, Susan. Come on, is there something bothering you that I can do anything about, I just want to help if you need it is all and I don't know what's happening." Mike said as gently as he could, without anger, knowing she was holding back. He had considered the thought that she might be having an affair but it didn't feel like it to him so he pushed that thought to the back of his mind, though he now thought she might be going through a mid life crisis of sorts. He looked at her now, her arms crossed and her looking about and the picture of a lost child or animal crossed his mind.

"I know I did Mike and it's just I don't know what to say, I know how I…feel, but can't tell you, I can't find the words to describe them." Susan said as she looked at him the best she could and gave him another half truth. In fact she felt like she couldn't tell him what was happening, but not because she didn't know. Inside part of her screamed out and wanted to get out saying 'Our son is molesting me, help me!' And the thought again passed her mind then that if you weren't so damn volatile when it comes to my being pure for you I could tell you Mike. But she just shivered as she stood before him.

"You still didn't say much, but I can't force the information out of you. Can you at least tell me if you're going to be ok, or…or do you think you might need other help…professional…" Mike said, lingering off at the last figuring she'd know what he meant. At the end she woke and shook her head.

"No, no I don't need a shrink. I'm just working some thoughts out and all and need time is all. I'll come up with a solution on my own Mike; I don't need a head doctor." Susan said truthfully then, honestly feeling that she could come up with the answers herself…she had to she figured. But inside she shivered at the thought of what a psychologist would say to her about what was happening, she wondered if they would lock Peter up…or her? She knew she had to renew her efforts to keep up the illusion of contentment to her husband to make sure he did find out about their son. She sighed very deeply and thought about a different subject, something she knew no male could turn down. "You know, it almost sounds as if you want something to be wrong? Are you trying to get rid of me or am I not keeping you feed enough, or are you unsatisfied?' Susan smiled at her husband making sure he knew what 'unsatisfied' she meant as she moved closer to him and ran her hands over his chest and slowly down his stomach. He chuckled at her, knowing she was changing subjects, but also knew it had worked, he was now thinking about sex.

"Of course you've been satisfying me and other then those two weeks or so of a dry spell, I almost think you have been trying to give me a heart attack in bed. Maybe you're trying to get my insurance money after I die." Mike said, figuring she wanted the talk lighthearted now, so he went along with it. Even with her still hidden worries she was honestly able to laugh at her husband's assertion…which she did, a deep laugh that helped push things back for a minute into their hiding spaces.

"Oh that's it, you found me out. I want to be the rich widow so that I can travel the world and buy a queen's bounty of jewels. You found me out, I have no more secrets." Susan said playfully as she threw her arms over his shoulders and pulled herself unto his chest. She grinned wickedly at him, her body now not needing to lie, her blood started to race and it responded to the one thing it had gotten used too from the past weeks… her being horny. She leaned up and kissed him deeply, invading his body as he relented and she then did her best to resemble an octopus as her body enveloped him and they fell back onto the bed behind them.

"What about supper?" Was all he asked, as he broke the kiss as he gasped for air. She looked down at him and softly growled.

"Fuck supper!" Was all Susan got out that Mike could understand, the rest being growling and slurping sounds as she seemed to do her best to consume him alive. In the twenty two years of their marriage, he can honestly say that until that night he never knew sexual exhaustion till that night, and Mike actually wondered if she was really trying to kill him with sex, but only hours later when she let him drift off to sleep after she relented. Though as he started to slumber, he had a passing thought that she was still trying to resurrect his flesh, but at that point he was too far gone and lost consciousness.