Dear Diary Ch. 05

"And you couldn't move away from them mom? Mom, that doesn't sound like rape or molesting?" Marie said accusingly. Susan looked at her with teary eyes.

"I know that and I never said it was rape, but I was really fucked up in the head then, still am I guess. But I never wanted him to do that." Susan told her, and Marie just nodded, and knelt down near her again.

"Mom, I hate to say this, but I think on some level you did want that." Marie suggested to her, her voice soft and surprising without anger. Susan looked at her again.

"I know, and...I agree with you, part of me did, but part didn't. But I never actually said I wanted it." She muttered out to her daughter.

"Ok, fine. Is there more?" Marie asked, thinking that wasn't the end, and her mother nodded. Susan began again, talking about her breaking down and the kids as well in the bathroom. She then told her about finding them in the converted shed and what she told them, about moving inside. Susan even confided that she had a few times went and watched them in their rooms, later getting off herself in her own room. Then she got to where Michael discovered them and stopped. Marie gave her a pained look, but held her with her arms over her shoulders. "Mom, I love you and listen when I tell you this...never tell dad what you told me." Marie told her and kissed her forehead and stood up.

"Do you hate me?" Susan asked her as she cried.

"I just said I love you mom, but...mom I can see you were being messed with, but you also could have done a lot to stop things from going that far. At least earlier on, before Peter...well, you know. But don't tell dad what you told me, even if he doesn't divorce you, he would almost certainly kill Peter. That much I can almost promise." Marie said as she sat next to her mother and put her arm around her as she cried.

"You hate me." Susan repeated, feeling very depressed at that moment, tears flowing freely down her face.

"I don't hate you mom, but I can read between the lines and I know you enjoyed the things that happened way too much to claim to be innocent." Marie told her and her mother sat up and looked at her.

"I never said I was innocent...I know I let too much happen. I can't defend myself, but I never thought it would go that far or like that." Susan said in a hurt voice. Her daughter looked at her smiled slightly.

"I don't know what to say mom." Marie said as she shrugged.

"Nether do I." Susan said as she began crying harder. Marie sighed, but moved her face close to hers.

"Mom why don't you rest, maybe sleep a bit, I'm gonna leave the room and let you rest" Marie suggested and Susan started to reply, but just nodded as she lay down on the bed. Marie closed the door behind her as she left the room. She shook her head trying to think of what to do about what she was told. She decided she had to say something or bust. She went to each of the other kid's room and knocked on them and asked each of them to go into the living room so they could talk, asking them to not talk until they were all there.

"So mom, told you?" Mary asked her nervously, as she looked at Marie following behind Genie, both of them the last to get into the living room. Marie walked into the room, past Genie.

"Yes she did." Marie told her as she walked in front of Peter...and slapped him hard across the face. "You bastard!" Marie growled out as she rubbed her hand, stinging after her hard slap.

"Dammit Marie!" Was all Peter could say as he tried not to fall backward.

"Marie!" Mary cried out in surprise at what her sister did. Genie just looked over in shock at what her eldest sister had done, and what her brother was going to do about it.

"I can't believe you did that to mom...OUR MOTHER! You're a little shit!" Marie growled out at her brother...still speechless after being slapped. Marie turned on Mary then and gave her a hard look. "And I can't believe you! You're the worst, you conniving bitch!" Marie spouted out as she faced her little sister. Mary looked unable to talk for a second, but only a second.

"I'm sure mom only told you the bullshit she told daddy, but more happened then what she told you Marie..." Mary defended herself, but Marie interrupted her.

"At first yes, but she told me everything after she started to break down. And I read more into what she said, enough to know you three played her good! Do you know that even if you three don't get therapy, which you probably do need...mom WILL! She is so unsure of herself now she doesn't know what's she's doing. She loves us...you...and this was how you treat her, like some...some doggy treat!" Marie uttered at them, her eyes tearing up in anger and emotion. Her words had already caused Genie to begin crying and Mary looked near that, anger the only thing holding her up.

"She could have stopped us or herself whenever she wanted." Peter told her from behind her. Marie looked at him and he was rubbing at his warm cheek.

"Yes she could have, she knows that and told me so and now she thinks it's her fault...dad even thinks that but I know different. If mom had told dad, your ass would be on the street you shit, and you know it. I see you look real pretty now where dad got a hold of you. Mom stopped him, even after what you did to her. She should have let him turn you to jell-o!" Marie growled at him, balling her fists up at him, tears flowing down her cheeks steadily.

"We didn't mean for it to get like that..." Peter started lamely.

"Shut-up! How did you think it was going to go? Getting your jollies off on a woman who couldn't stop you because she loved you and didn't want you hurt! Why don't you go molest a baby or something, it's about as manly, you turd!" Marie spouted at him and Peter flinched and grew angry, his face turning red, but Marie turned to Mary first.

"You were her little girl, she pampered on you more then us, even if you were forty you would be her little girl, her youngest and you get the others to do this to mom?" Marie asked, the crying girl before her. Mary just nodded at her. Marie looked at Genie as well. "And you let them and helped them." Marie finally said at her crying sister. Genie nodded as well, unable to look up at her.

"Yes we did it for fun, but if we thought mom didn't really like, I would have stopped...even if Mary hadn't wanted me to." Peter defended their actions, the only one with dry eyes in the room. Marie looked at him, wiping her eyes.

"You are so stupid Peter. Yes mom didn't stop you, partly because she didn't want you three in trouble and...yes...she enjoyed it." Marie told him quietly but an edge in her voice.

"If you say she enjoyed it how can it be our faults that..." He started to say.

"Because, it was still taking advantage of her! Did she come to you asking for what you did, has she joined in all the times you three have left the doors open? Yes she liked the attention and...and the stimulation. It got her wet, ok! But it doesn't mean she really wanted it." Marie scolded him, looking hard at his eyes. "I'm sure out there; that there are some rape victims that get wet, maybe even orgasm as they are raped...that doesn't mean they WANTED it! Do you understand now?" Marie growled at him and she saw he finally understood in his eyes. He looked ashamed now instead of being mad and she looked hard at him as he fought to prevent tears from flowing. Marie then turned to Mary and walking to her, embraced her. Which caused her little sister to sob harder. Peter looked at her, and then walked himself over to hug Genie, she threw her arms around him as he did.

"So what do you want to do?" Peter asked, his voice thick with emotion as he looked at Marie. She looked at him a bit later.

"Beside slap you around some more?" Marie told him with a small smile, but in a serious tone. She moved to sit beside Mary on the couch, her arm still around her little sister. "We have to get back dad." She said simply after thinking for a minute. Mary looked up at her through tear streaked eyes.

"How, I think he hates mom now and probably me now. He wants to kill Peter!" Mary sobbed out as her nose ran.

"He doesn't hate mom, or you...especially you." Marie told her, wiping her sister's eyes softly.

"You weren't there, you didn't see how mad he was at me or mom, after...after I did what I did." Mary sniffled out.

"You mean after you sucked his cock and choked down his load?" Marie asked her bluntly and Mary's eyes got wider then bugs, causing Marie to laugh.

"Yes I can cuss and talk sex; do you think I'm a nun? Trust me, I've had more sex then all of you combined, even with your new hobbies." Marie announced to her, then looked at the others and smiled more. "But...I'm thinking dad got so mad because...well...he liked what you did to him and like mom was afraid to indulge." Marie explained to Mary as she looked at her.

"You saying he liked it?" Mary asked her.

"You're as stupid as your brother. Of course he liked it, he came didn't he. So that just means he got mad because he started thinking about it...not that he didn't like it." Marie told her, but also looking at the others.

"Wait, I thought you were mad at us, it sounds like...like...?" Peter asked her, trying to find the right words.

"I am. I'm pissed as hell at all of you. I think you should have what little brains you have Peter knocked out by father and I think Mary should be spanked so hard her ass glows more then Rudolph's nose. But this has got to be fixed and quick, before dad screws up his thoughts enough to ask for a divorce. If he gets that far it will be hard convincing him to stop. No, you have no idea how mad I am at you, especially you Peter. After me you are the oldest, you shouldn't have let a little piece of ass like Mary's screw with mom's head that way. But we have to fix it...now!" Marie told them sternly and the others just looked at her.

"So you don't find what we did...do, disgusting?" Mary asked her timidly, unsure what her sister would say. Marie looked at her and pondered for a minute, unsure how to answer her.

"Not disgusting, weird yes, but...its just sex. It's freaky thinking about you guys...getting horizontal. But I've done stuff far more kinky then that at school. I have to be honest, when mom told me about what was going on I was freaking out, but I remember plenty of times thinking certain thoughts about dad and...and even mom. We were so close before I went to college and after I thought about it, I remembered having dreams and even fingering myself some to thoughts of her or dad." She confided in them "But what and how you did what you did was fucked up!" Marie threw in to make sure they knew how she felt. But Mary looked up at her and giggled.

"You fingered yourself while thinking about mommy; you're not unlike us then." Mary told her, and Marie gave her a dark look at first, and then softened it.

"Yes I am, I would never have hurt mom to get my jollies." Marie told her and Mary's smile faded. The others looked ashamed at their sister's statement and just sat in their own thoughts.

...I told Marie about everything, and I do mean everything that has been happening these past months. I'll be honest; Marie took it very well, though I completely broke down. Marie was very strong, and I felt like a little kid around her. I'm so ashamed of everything that I have done these past months. And I miss Michael.

Marie had me take a nap after I started crying and too be honest I feel better now after waking up. I guess I better get up and see what the kids are doing. I hope they are leaving Marie alone.

The kids heard their mother walk into the kitchen and stopped further discussion, looking up to se her pass the open kitchen window that looked down into the living room. She stopped in the door, seeing her kids assembled in the room together.

"Hey, we having a town meeting?" Susan asked them jokingly as she walked into the room.

"Well, sort of mom." Marie told her as her mother sat next to her on the couch with Mary.

"Really? What about?" Susan asked curious about what was said.

"About their treatment of you while I was at school, and how it's going to change or else." Marie told her, but also looking at the others. Susan grinned at her eldest daughter.

"Or else what Marie?" Susan asked wondering what she had threatened the rest of them with.

"Or else I kick their asses, and if I cant I know some football players who can." She said jokingly, though none of them were certain she was fully, but her mother laughed.

"So she's been fussing you out?" Susan asked the other playfully and they all nodded.

"She slapped the shit out of me." Peter said in an offhand way. Susan looked at her eldest.

"Marie! You shouldn't have." Susan told her daughter, and Marie blushed slightly.

"I know mom, but he deserved it." Marie told her mother, also looking at her brother.

"Maybe, but I think your father did enough to him, as it is he'll have a bent nose the rest of his life." Susan told her, but smiled softly at her daughter. Marie gave her a huge grin back.

"Maybe, but I think daddy should have bent something else on him?" Marie replied, pointing slightly at her brother's crotch. Susan laughed at her daughter's suggestion.

"Hey, I kind of need that!" Peter told her, not smiling, though all the girls were now smiling or laughing now.

"Well yeah, you have to make up for that lack of brains." Marie retorted, sending all the girls to laughter as Peter now blushed a deep red.

"Funny." Was all Peter said in defense, seeing them all laugh. He waited for them to laugh themselves out.

"Ok, ok, he's suffered enough." Susan stopped them as the laughter slowed. Susan took a deep breath and looked at them all, the girls still chuckling or smiling. "Hey, lets go out and go eat, I'm hungry." Susan suggested to them and they all agreed, happy to get out of the house. Later, after they were all ready they left the house to go eat.

...Today has been a strange day to be sure. I found all the kids in the living room after I awoke from my nap and I heard them discussing things, then they silenced up as they heard me. Marie told me she was chastising them, and I believe her, but I'm sure they were discussing other things as well, I know it. Maybe I'm just paranoid now. But I suggested we go out to eat and we did a bit later, all of us piling into my car to go out.

On the trip out things were fine, Marie sat in front with me and we all talked, as if she had never been away or that the others were now screwing around. During dinner was fine as well, we had a ton of fun and Marie told us all about college and she seems to use the boys there like tissue paper the way she says it. But afterward she sat in the backseat with Peter and Mary, though Genie might have been back there as well as much as she was hanging back there from the front seat.

But what really caught my eye was when I looked back and once caught Marie with her hand in Peter's lap, maybe even at his crotch. I looked again but she had moved it and they were laughing. All three of them were giggling and tickling each other in the back and Genie was laughing as well...but so was I even though over what I now have no idea. But I wonder about what was happening in the car as I drove, and if I'm losing another child to the hormone monster that seems to be loose in my house.

Nov. 23

Marie got me up at an ungodly early hour so just she and I could go out to breakfast. But we had fun and we walked off the fullness at a local flea market that Marie took me too. She bought a few things, but it was her thing...I never went for second hand shops much. But now all the kids are out together, and I must say, I can't shake this feeling something is up.