Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

Thank you for the past few months. Thank you for the privilege of serving you. Thank you for all the times that I knelt before you. Thank you too for the lessons that I have learned. Thank you for teaching me some hard facts. Thank you for showing me truths that I did not want to see.

Thank you for all those nights that I spent on my fuzzy pillow. Thank you for holding me in your strong arms like you would never let me go. Thank you for putting up with my snoring. And thank you for holding me while I cried.

Thank you for making love to me. For fucking me so hard that we both thought I had lost my mind. I will always remember how perfectly your cock fit inside my cunt. As you said there was not a millimeter of space for my muscles to tighten when I came. Thank you for quite literally screwing my brains out, those moments when I would collapse mindless and laughing against you. I have only one thing to say...yes, no, maybe so.

Thank you too for the bruises that I wore so proudly. Thank you for how they seemed to last from meeting to meeting, a reminder of you and your power over me. Thank you for the pain. Thank you for pushing my limits. Thank you for taking me past the point that the pain was pleasure to true submission, placing your wants above my own.

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for challenging my mind as no one has in a very long time. Thank you for the long conversations. Thank you for listening to how my day had been. And for sharing yours. Thank you for 'making' me watch stupid television shows that I never would have. Thank you for expanding my edu-me-ca-tion with movies from which I found meaning as well as pleasure.

Thank you for allowing me to care for you. To cook and clean. To do all those little things that I love so much. That bring me peace and joy when I look after someone I care for. Thank you for allowing me to bake cookies for Cookie Monster. Thank you for letting me shower you and care for you...I know how hard that was for you.

Thank you most of all for your collar. A collar that I thought I would wear for the rest of our lives. A collar that when I accepted it meant everything to me. It meant a depth of commitment that even my wedding band had not. It meant total and complete surrender to someone that I trusted to take care of me. And that is more even than love.

You will find that collar enclosed in this envelop. The collar that I once boasted they would pry from my cold dead hands. The collar that I wore twenty-four seven for months. And would have worn for years. For the rest of my life.

Because the biggest lesson you taught me...the most important one of all...is that I deserve more. I deserve a man that truly does love me as much as I love him, not just one that goes through the motions. I deserve a man that puts my needs above at least his wants...and on occasion even his own needs. I deserve a man that gives as much as he takes. I deserve a man that is free to love me as I love him.

Oh, I know you tried. You say it was chemistry...just not there. I say that there is another that will always hold a piece of you. I know you won't listen. I know you won't apologize. But I got tired to not being enough for you. Of being number two.

You see this collar does not mean the same thing to us. To me it means that I place you second only to my children. Not my friends. Not my job. Not even myself. I gave my all to you and it was not enough.

I won't pretend to know what this collar did mean to you. But I know what it did not mean. It did not mean that I was number two with you, behind only your children. It did not mean that my feelings mattered to you. It did not mean that you thought of them before you crushed me...just because you could. And those are the things that I demand...yes, DEMAND...that a collar mean to us both.

Otherwise it is just a meaningless piece of metal. That is why I took it off. That is why I am sending it back to you.

Thank you...for the truth...at last. Forever yours, but always with limits, I walk away with dignity and good memories too.