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Yea, I know. Stuff like that is why the government budget is in the toilet.
I really don't care.
I was sitting in my chair watching the History channel when July came out after a session with the wife, Debra was right behind her and had a look on her face I recognized.
"Hey, does July...you know..take care of things with you, too?" I asked her the moment July left.
"Sure, why?" She grinned.
"Show me what she does." I grinned right back.
"OK. If you will show me what she does to you."
"You already know." I laughed.
It sure is great to be alive.
A couple of days later I was coming back from fishing down on the jetty, got me two nice foot long sea trout, too.
I also hooked something way bigger, but it broke my line. No point in telling Debra about that, she doesn't believe me any more. That happens a lot, my favorite rock has some dandy fish hiding down there. Hell, catch a nice foot long fish, hang it on a huge hook under a big bobber and throw it out into the ocean and interesting things can happen.
Not many fishermen think of trying something like that. One of these days I will land one of those, too. Right after I save up enough to buy me that new fishing pole.
I stopped off at that same store on the way home, bought myself a bag of candy. I handed my Visa card to the 12 year old clerk, gave her a big shit eating grin. She swiped it and it worked just fine.
I already had the sack open, and stuffed a piece into my mouth.
"What?" I realized she had said something to me.
"I need you to sign here, sir." She said, pushing the little slip of paper towards me.
I scrawled my name on it, grinned and left, stuffing a second piece in my mouth.
Yes, it's great to be alive! July was scheduled for that same evening, it was my turn on the table.
Now. Where in the hell do I hide the sack of candy so Debra doesn't find out?
- COMMENTS
Tavadelphinalmost 12 years agoNice idea and I bet it really would work perfectly too
Nice work MGM
0649dover 13 years agoIt's lucky he had life-insurance; most people wouldn't have one. It also does make me wonder how the government even keeps track of dead people. I hear a lot of fraud happens because of newborn babies who die prematurely have their Social Security ID stolen? Anyway... how do you prove you're alive otherwise? haha nice topic! XD I guess you could try your local congressman/woman or senator but I am cynical enough to wonder how much they would care about your situation. Nice read, keep up the good work :)
OldStormyover 13 years agoI had a huge giggle while reading this. I am currently going through a stupid battle with Centrelink (Aussie Pensions Preventative Office) who have severely slashed my pension because a private company I have some shares in showed a profit in 08-09. A loss in 09-10 is discounted as the tax return has not yet been formalised. It only showed a profit if you discounted the loans that were more than the assets. Enough, you don't want to hear, but bloody hell, aren't Government departments wonderful. "Sorry Sir, I am unable to help you, you need to contact ......." Thanks heaps.
Anyway, loved your story.
