Death Can Be Fun Ch. 01

Now, to cut a long story slightly shorter, when we'd got ourselves generally comfortable in my old front room, we began to talk about the way things were and how being dead had affected us. She put me right by pointing out the obvious. The dead don't eat, don't drink, and don't pee, etc. so why would they ejaculate? What doesn't go in can't come out. I pointed out that as it was my first shag since dying, I could be forgiven for not knowing that. After that it became a whingeing session about not being able to enjoy the things we used to, like a meal, a drink, or even a cigarette. Then I had a thought.

"Why shouldn't ghosts have more sex?" I asked. "You'd expect us to be shagging around all over the place considering there's not exactly a lot else to do."

"I don't know." Says Amanda. "I've never met another ghost with a libido, I thought I was the only ghost who still wanted it! Maybe the urge usually dies with the body."

"Well, that's a thought, but I can't answer it, I've not had chance to discuss it with any other ghosts. But when you think about it, now would be the ideal time to be a right slut. No fear of pregnancy. No STD's to worry about, and all the time in the world to practise the perversions you couldn't try in life."

"I wouldn't know what perversions to try!"

"Yeah, right." I grinned lasciviously; I didn't believe that for a moment.

Amanda bristled at my reply. "I beg your pardon. But I spent far too much time studying and working my way up the business ladder that men try to keep for themselves. I hardly ever got chance for a date let alone a decent shag. When I was studying I was too busy and when I'd made it no man had the fucking guts to try and bed me!"

"Whoops, sorry pardon!" Maybe I did believe it.

"I'm sorry Eddie, but I devoted my life to my career. No husband, no kids, and no bloody sex life that wasn't battery operated, so I certainly haven't done all the kinky things that I might like to have done. In fact, rephrase that - not 'might' but 'would' like to have done. Why do you think I was hanging around bedrooms? It was so I could learn what I'd missed, though that might seem a bit pointless now."

"It's ok. I do know what it's like, I had a wasting disease for years, slowly getting worse, and I'd been stuck in a wheelchair for a long time, so I know all about wishing! Anyway, it's not pointless, all you need to do is find a kinky male ghost, watch some of the living get kinky to see how it's done, which you can't do when you're alive, and then get to it."

"And are you a kinky male ghost?"

She had her head cocked to one side and a smile on her lips when she said that, so I could see where that conversation was going. "Could be, given the chance!"

"Then maybe we should get ourselves out there and see how things are done!"

She still liked to take control, didn't she? Once a director always a director, I suppose. For a little while then we sat and chatted about where we should look and what we should look for, and that led to me telling her of some of the tricks I'd played on people. That in turn led to her laughing fit to burst and clinging to me for dear life (or is that dear death?).

Now, you can guess where that led us, can't you? Yep, we really got into the spirit (spirit, get it?) of things and we were suddenly tearing each other's clothes off. God, she was beautiful. She was softly athletic, if you know what I mean, soft skinned but firm bodied. She was toned and muscular, but without having compromised her femininity. Yes, I know I'm waffling, but she was bloody gorgeous and I could rave on for hours.

You have to remember that I hadn't had full sex with a willing partner for nigh on twenty years (discount the earlier episode because that partner was asleep), and Amanda had been celibate since her death and nearly so before it. Bear that in mind and you'll understand why we fucked for the best part of four hours nearly non-stop. Our hands, mouths, fingers, and tongues were everywhere, caressing, playing, stroking, pulling, squeezing, and generally exploring. She felt as good as she looked, she tasted as good as she felt, and she fucked like there was no tomorrow. I came four times, and how many times she came I'm not sure, but it was plenty and when we were finished we were completely knackered - but we'd got to know each other rather well.

There was only one hiccup in our session, and that was when Amanda tried to give me a blow job. Sure, I enjoyed it, with her velvet mouth around my cock, her head bobbing up and down and her hands milking my shaft, who wouldn't? I responded to it well too, I had all the beautiful sensations of a fantastic blow job that brought me to a mind-blowing climax. It's just that for all my moans, hip jerking and cock twitching, nothing gushed into Amanda's mouth, and she wasn't aware that I'd cum. So when I went to pull it out she clung on, thinking I was trying to deprive her off her reward! It took a while before she cottoned on that it wasn't me stopping her getting a mouthful of cum but the grim reaper. Then she let go, muttering 'Damn, damn, damn, and fuck it'.

Afterwards we lay on the bed together still naked, and began to plan our campaign. Amanda was intrigued by some of the practical jokes I'd pulled on the unsuspecting living, and wanted to join in some of those, while I'd had a thought of my own. It had occurred to me that if someone else had moved into my old house, it would have been quite feasible for them to decide to have sex on the same bed as us, and I wondered what would happen then. It seemed likely, if they were like the majority of non-psychic people, they wouldn't know we were there and would carry on quite unaware. So, in that case, if we found a couple doing some fetish that we wanted to try, we could simply lie alongside them and copy what they did.

I put the idea to Amanda to see if she would be up for it, and she was. In fact she went further and suggested that we should find a couple making love and then copy whatever they were doing regardless. That way we would never know what strange sexual antics we might be getting up to next. I thought that sounded exciting but that watersports might be a bit difficult as neither of us could pee now.

"Oh, yes." She said. "I hadn't thought of that, so if we can't drink either, that means we can neither be pissed up nor pissed on!"

"Well, I suppose we can be pissed on, if we can get some to do who is still alive, but I'm not sure I fancy it anyway."

"Oh, I do!" Said Amanda, revealing another unexpected side to her nature. "I've always fancied having a nice hot stream of piss splashing all over me. Can't see it happening though, can you?"

And that from a former company director, you never can tell can you?

"Now I've told you mine, how about you telling me your secret fantasy?"

"Well." I said, feeling more than a little embarrassed but bowing to the inevitable. "I always had a strange urge to have my arse fucked by a woman with a strap-on!"

"Sorry, we can't use toys. We wouldn't be seen, but the dildo would. Might look a bit strange to any living one who was watching, don't you think?"

"Ok, then. Looks like we both miss out then, but I'm sure we'll find something we like. So how about we go out tomorrow night and the first action we come across that we can copy, we will. Deal?"

"Deal." She said, and that was that.

The next evening we went to the 'The Parkview Apartments.', a complex of five apartment blocks built for highflying young executives, where security at the gate and at each block entrance is so tight that nobody bothers to lock their own individual front door. Very handy for our purposes. We decided to start on the top floor and visit each flat in turn until we found what we were looking for.

The first 'Parkview Apartment' that we tried was empty, as in nobody living there, the second was empty, as in no-one home, and the third had a man asleep in bed snoring. We weren't exactly having a riot. We got a little bit luckier in the next. Again it was a man on his own, but he was jacking off to a porn video, and when we looked at his unkempt, unwashed, and unshaved appearance, we knew why. And this was a block for 'executives'? We couldn't leave him without doing something, so on the way out I pressed the eject button on the video. I know it's just a bit childish, but it made me feel better.

Another nobody home, and then we began to hit pay dirt. But I'll tell you about that in chapter 2.