Deep in the Woods

She looked at me with her big, blue eyes wide open.

"Yes."

Very cautiously, I began to sink into her. Ulrika anxiously held her breath and put her hands on my stomach as if she was afraid I would do it too fast. Slowly and steadily, I sank in deeper and deeper. Ulrika gasped and looked down.

"It's . . . it feels so . . ." she gasped.

I paused and waited for her to finish the sentence, in case she felt uncomfortable. She obviously didn't. Her hands, which had been holding me back, gripped my sides and pulled me closer. In one last push I entered her fully. Just as I did, she exhaled and it sounded like it had knocked the air out of her. In a way I probably did.

This was not even close to be the first time I had sex with a girl, but I had the same, anxious and excited feeling as I did the first time. This feeling of crossing a border, trying something new, something unknown. Ulrika made me feel this way. Her surprised gasp when I entered her, the blurred, excited look in her eyes as we began to move together. It all made me feel like this was my first time, too.

Time stood still, but we moved on, working each other up higher and higher. She had closed her eyes and she moved her hips instinctively, meeting my body. Her orgasm was quiet. She tensed arching her back, stretched her legs and whimpered quietly. It looked very intense. Her clit was squeezed between us again and pushed her over the top. I wanted to come with her and lunged harder and faster into her.

She pulled up her legs again and crossed them behind my back, spurring me. It became a short, rough ride towards my climax. I was still resting on my hands, hovering over her and watching her breast bounce with every thrust. It felt wonderful, despite the condom.

When I came, my arms were already trembling and they could no longer hold me. I covered her sweating body with mine and we kissed deeply, trying to catch our breath at the same time. Breathing through our noses, we must have sounded like steam engines on overdrive.

We stayed like that until I could feel my cock shrink and I had to pull out. We were both very warm and sticky. We took a swim again, but this time we didn't play and tease each other. Our touching was tenderly and loving.

When we got back up and I looked at my clock, it was only nine in the morning. I didn't know exactly how long it was since Ulrika woke me, but I had a feeling that it was a couple of hours.

"You're really up bright and early," I said, showing her my watch.

"Uhhuh. You said you would be leaving tomorrow," Ulrika said.

A flash of sadness passed her face.

"Yeah, I have to. My train ticket."

After a moments silence, I said:

"We'll have all day to enjoy ourselves. What should we do?"

"Everything!" she answered eagerly.

I think it came out differently from what she'd planned. She blushed and looked down after she'd said it. I didn't say anything, but I couldn't help smiling a little.

"I mean, I might never see you again," she whispered.

I could see how the tears were filling her eyes. I felt a knot form in my stomach. She was right and I felt the same. I wanted to stay with her, but I know it wasn't possible.

"Come now. You don't want to spend the day crying, do you? Let's make the best of it."

"Yes," Ulrika sniffled.

She didn't sound as convincing as she wanted to. It was hard to shake off and I put my arms around her and pulled her close to me. We stood like that a couple of minutes.

"Feeling better?" I asked when she looked up at me.

"Yes."

It was already hot. The forest preserved the heat. You could really feel it at night and it also meant that it became hot very quickly in the morning. We decided to take a walk. Ulrika knew an open spot higher up, where the air would be cooler and there also were some nice views of the landscape. We walked and talked for a couple of hours. We didn't talk about anything in particular. When we got back, it was time to get something to eat and after lunch we dosed off for an hour or so in the shade. All this was a part of "everything".

Of course, "everything" also included using another condom. We had taken another bath, when we woke up hot and sweating. Afterwards, we lay down naked on the sleeping back and enjoyed each other. Ulrika was very active now, almost frantic and I had to slow her down and get her to prolong it and enjoy it.

She wanted to try everything and we tried to do it like the animals on the farm, with her on all fours and me entering her from behind. She felt I was too far away in this position, so we tried with her on top of me. That was much better. She could see and feel me and I her.

We made love for almost two hours. We were both very satisfied and very exhausted after that. Ulrika stayed as long as she could, but eventually the time came when she had to go. She cried. I guess I cried a little too, but I don't think she saw it. Even now, I don't want to think about it. It hurt. I gave her my phone number and address. When she moved to Gothenburg, she could call me. For me to call her was out of the question.

I didn't sleep very well that night. I woke several times to look at my watch. I had to get an early start to be sure to make it and I was afraid that I would sleep too long. Around six, I woke again. I wasn't really awake when I looked at my watch. I could hear something moving around outside. It could be anything from a mouse to a moose. A moose could be very quiet until it had to move fast. Then it sounded and felt like an earthquake.

I was still half asleep when I suddenly heard the zipper in the tent door unzip. I stared at the tent door, confused and I guess with a bit of fright. I mean, I had just woken and I surely wasn't expecting anybody. How stupid can one be?

In the early morning light, I saw Ulrika kneeling in front of me, pulling the tent door aside. She was naked and looked nervously at me. I must have looked frightened or something.

"I'm . . . I'm sorry. I just had to . . .," she said.

"Oh . . . I mean, come on in."

Christ, what a stupid thing to say. It didn't matter, though. I don't think either of us paid any attention to what was said. I tried to unzip the sleeping bag, but the zipper got stuck. Ulrika had to help me. Giggling, we got it opened and she snuggled up close to me, as close as she could get.

Her skin felt cool. Smooth and cool. We didn't say anything for a long time.

"I just wanted to see you one more time. Are you mad at me? Do you have to leave right now?"

"Of course I'm not mad at you. I dreamt about you and you where there. What time is it?"

"Five, half past five I think"

"Won't your parents be suspicious when you're up that early?" I asked.

The last thing I wanted was her angry father finding us together.

"No. I sometimes do that," she said.

Silence again, for a while.

"When do you have to leave?"

"I better get started packing around seven. I have a long walk ahead of me. Maybe if I'm lucky, I can get a ride if I find a road with some traffic. But around seven. Half past seven at the latest," I said. I was surprised to see Ulrika smile happily. She saw my puzzled gaze.

"I wanted to get up at 4, but I overslept and I was afraid you would be gone or have to go at six," she explained.

"I would have stayed, even if it meant that I'd had to run all the way to catch the train."

The rest was predictable. We kissed and caressed each other, getting more and more excited. The first time we had done it in the tent, we had been much more quite and only moved very little. This time, we kept bumping into the sides of the tent and that made it funnier. We laughed at lot. I guess it was a way of keeping away the thought of the inevitable goodbye.

We still had the last condom.

"Do you want to try putting it on?" I asked.

"I've never tried it. What if I ruin it?"

"I'll tell you how," I reassured her.

Giggling, she put it on and lay down next to me with her legs spread, waiting for me to get on top. Instead, I made her lift her left leg and moved up close to her from the side. I could caress her and kiss her while we made love and it felt closer this way.

It was so intense. I'd never experienced anything as intense before or after. It was the last chance we had to make love and it just had to be good. It was good. Not the orgasm, not because we did anything special but because it was us, out there in the forest. Because it was what we both wanted and because we both knew it would be something we were going to remember always.

When she came, she put her hand over mine, pressing it hard against her clit. She kept whimpering and pushed up hard against me. It was intense, that's the only way I can describe it. I looked at her face. She was crying. Crying in the middle of her orgasm. I was about to come, but seeing her cry distracted me. For a second, I was afraid I was hurting her. My fingers were squeezing her clit hard and I was going really hard and deep into her, hitting her cervix. I slowed down a little. Ulrika reacted immediately.

"Nooo, come on," she cried.

I did and the disruption increased my stamina. I continued for longer than I had ever dreamed I would be able to. I wanted it to last. It felt so good but not just physically. There was a bond between us and, making love tied us together closer than anything else.

It was wonderful while it, or rather I, lasted, but it had to end. We lay close together, panting and sweating. Ulrika hid her head in my neck. I couldn't' tell if she was crying still or just panting. When she looked up at me again, she was smiling.

We didn't really talk very much. We took a swim and she helped me pack. Neither of us wanted to say goodbye. She followed me the first part of the way through the woods to the road to town, but then we couldn't postpone it any longer. It was a sad goodbye with a lot of tears. That's not what I want to remember, even though I can't quite forget it.

When I sat in the train, I seriously thought about getting off at the first stop and go back, but it was a long way to the first stop and I had time to think things over. Summer wouldn't last and I couldn't live in the wilderness for a year. It was just not possible.

I hoped to hear from Ulrika again. When the year had passed and school began again, I waited by the phone every day and eagerly opened the mail. But she never phoned or wrote. On the train home, I realised that I only knew her first name. Even if I wanted, there was no way I could find her. At one time, I was considering going back and looking her up, in case she was still living with her parents, but I never had the courage to do it. I still regret it and sometimes, I plan to go back. But it's over twenty years ago now and things will be very different.

But I will never forget her.