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Click hereIt took about thirty minutes of rummaging through the minister's office to find what he was looking for. He quickly left the house. Grabbing his duffel, he broke out in a fast trot for his truck. He knew he had to be far away before the minister came home to see what he had done to his daughter. Mark never thought there was any truth to the minister's warnings about the devil coming for sinners on 'The Devil's Night', oh well, he'd been wrong before.
** Thank You for reading. Feedback, Comments and of course, votes are always appreciated. I love hearing from readers. ~Alex **
- COMMENTS
zex95966over 14 years agoI liked the intro, and the sex, and the end. only wish was that it was just a tad longer. more of everything. =)
cookiejarover 18 years agoA good story with lots of detail and description. The sex was hot too! Good luck!
Cookie :)
clark077over 18 years agoI want to read more!!!
Great mix of everyday life and erotic sensations with surprising twists.
How often haven't I felt that "They'd all be holed up, worried Satan would come for them if they dared sin on this night." is the best way to describe people I meet all too often? :)
Rumple Foreskinover 18 years agoVery original and well-plotted. Hope you do well in the contest.
Rumple Foreskin
cantdogover 18 years agoWow. I knew you had a grasp of the language, and I'm glad to see that you're using it for something. Neatly done.
sackover 18 years agofor once, a real story. Easy reading and appealing characters. Good luck with the contest!
BlackShanglanover 18 years agoI must differ with the previous commenter. Although violence and sexuality are a volatile combination, they are volatile for a reason. They possess great depth and resonance, especially in a story like this where they are used to excellent effect in conveying the elements of danger, sensuality, decadence and penetration inherent in mingling of sexual desire and fear. This offers a good rendition of the classic demon lover/innocent virgin pairing, and it reminds us why that is so enticing.
impressiveover 18 years agoGood luck in the contest ... and wherever you take Mark. ;)
~Imp
Colleen Thomasover 18 years agoI'm glad you entered the contest. Extremely well done, with an impressive command of the language and a vivid imagination.
Good luck :)
sparknfurterover 18 years agoThe text was well written. This is the first Demonology story I read, so it took a couple minutes to get that Mark was a demon or half-demon or whatever, which was pretty cool.
The voyeuristic part was the best erotic material for me, but once Mark starts interacting directly with the girl, I stopped caring for it. I generally don't like blood/violence in sex as part of stories and don't like non-consensual sex either. One could argue that the girl consented but I felt she was being deceived, which to me makes it non-consensual.
Again, the writing was good and it was definitely creepy/scarey. But it was not my cup of tea.
