All Comments on 'Deployed, Tattooed, Transformed Ch. 03'

I understand the story and the for the most part wimps to not make it in the combat arms of the military; staff ass kissers mostly...

The one thing I have to wonder is how will this man feel after a few years with living proof of what went on, and how will he begin to react to his wife and that her son.

I do not know if I would have the strength of character to do this. Had she been forced, raped that would not be a problem, but the fact of how it happened and the subsequent coverup is a bit hard to stomach

This has to be one of the best fiction stories in the world, A man rasies he wife 's lovers baby, knowingly.........

unless you let me fuck you! Please ladies, if a man tells you this, the only sensible thing to do, is to help him kill himself. Remind him that the world will be a much better place without him.

I say this, because I have personal experience of a person who tried this ploy, unsuccessfully, with a friend.

He then seduced my sister, got her pregnant. Two children later he abandoned her.

Last time I saw him, 30 years later, he still hadn't made any serious attempt to kill himself.

He's still a miserable, self pitying, self destroying man. DFC5

Living with a bastard child - a constant reminder of the infidelity ?

You must be a saint or a total wimp.

the end of the story involving getting Paul Jr. back is just a sketch and considerably weakens a heretofore strong tale.

and built out of a solid and detailed (almost said "deployed") reality. But your Catholic moral code is too simple, low-level Parish Priestly. It may even conflict with the solid sense of your narrator, concerned first with his child's state of conscience rather than his own injuries or his wife's guilt. This is the second story of yours I've read in which ONE wifely failing, duped, yes, but in pity if not full-scale caritas, is allowed to destroy a marriage (nearly), the which, after all, I am sure you know even if the Catholic Church doesn't these days, is an indissoluble sacrament, not a useful convenience to avoid being lonely. You have great talent, but need to get more subtle in your apprehension of Catholic morality and guilt (and retribution -- true, contrition isn't enough). Try some Graham Greene novels for openers, and when you understand why his Sinners are sometimes close to Sainthood, you could do important work!

And ignore altogether the sleazeballs who think infidelity is a mortal sin to be punished with summary executions (all those who have commented thus far, I'm afraid).

Wow!! Are there many such brother Teresas in the US army?? Or is he imbibing too much of the happy juice? The daughter will most likely end up whoring, seeing the mother is one.

Worst load of shit I've ever seen. The whore better start charing. The daughter is well on the way to being just like mom.

If she spreads her legs that easily she must have done it many times before. Hubby being away for long periods. Surely, there are plenty of "depressed" men out there she can "feel sorry for".

Any way. If she really wanted to protect her so-called loving marriage, she would have had an abort when the husband was overseas and kept her mouth shut. If she wanted more children, her husband should be the sperm provider, not some fuckbuddy.

In any case, she failed to show any remorse whatsoever - she fucked up her daughters head and loyalities.

I believe a single fling under certain circumstances could be forgivable. Giving birth to a bastard child is ABSOLUTELY NOT one of those circumstances.

Good story. I think Paul stayed true to his charachter.

Sure seemed like you just wanted to finish this

Still good.

Kept waiting for the cheating slut to be used and tattooed.

Well-written story, nonetheless.

but went downhill. I can respect his desire to help his daughter, wife obviously didn't care how much she fucked up her daughter. Not sure I'd have taken wife back, pretty sure I wouldn't have raised someone else's son. But the pussy never talked to wife about any of this, at the tower he says we never had to talk things just fealt right. Dumb fuck, never talking is how he got into this situation in the first place. He feels safe because he doesn't think he'll be deployed again, news flash, he wasn't deployed when she fucked her new lover, he was gone for a weekend. Now he's going to send her back to her lover to retrieve the bastard, what if he says he's depressed, will she fuck him again, if he won't give up the child unless she becomes his long term hook up, after all hubby did say it was up to her how she got the bastard back. Whole scenerio's fucked up. Face it, the guys a pussy.

I liked the plot, and the first chapter pulled me in. You began the second chapter well, but near the middle you started "hurrying". The third chapter seemed as if you were in a dead run trying to finish. I enjoyed the story, but I feel it would have been better if you had spent more time developing your ending instead of 1,2,3, done...

I think you have ability so keep writing. I'll keep reading.

I liked the plot, and the first chapter pulled me in. You began the second chapter well, but near the middle you started "hurrying". The third chapter seemed as if you were in a dead run trying to finish. I enjoyed the story, but I feel it would have been better if you had spent more time developing your ending instead of 1,2,3, done...

I think you have ability so keep writing. I'll keep reading.

The ending of this story is not uncommon. Daniel Boone was captured by the Natives and spent quite a bit of time with them. When he returned home, he found that his wife had given birth to a daughter who was fathered by his brother. Boone has been quoted as saying, "she has the right last name". That daughter became his favorite child.

I also know of at least one acquaintance who has raised his wife's child by another man, I am not close enough to know his thinking, but I do know that he is not a wimp.

This was a good story and the reasoning was sound and understandable. I personally do not believe in using children as a weapon in adult disagreements. The child is blameless. In my estimation, your main character was a real man who loved his family including a repentent wife. He accepted the responsibility of the head of household in that their emotional well being was more important than his ego. More men need to understand that being a man is honoring your responsibiities to those under your authority. In this case, I believe that his wife was willing to go to any length to make amends. Giving up a child under any circumstance is emotionally dibilitating for a woman. Good Story

Shit like this happens in real life......... My brther-in-law came back from being deployed in the Marines in Vietnam for a year to find his wife 9 months pregnant. He said he screwed around in nam so he forgave her. My wifes brother is 5' 8" tall has brown hair and hazel eyes. His son is now 6' 4" blond hair and blue eyes and does not know his dad is not really his biological father. So very sad. Shit like this happens Luis

because, when reading this kind of story the partner in the wrong needs to redeem themselves in some fashion before any reconciliation can be meaningful. I understand the idea of forgiveness - but in these situations I need the character to prove themselves worthy of it. That is just what I need as a reader, frankly the wife sickened me. She never seemed to show any inclination to improve herself or make the situation right. Because of that the ending couldn't work for me.

This all started out pretty rough and unsettled, but that did not really hurt. Good plot points and well conceived.

As a retired USAF CMSgt. I could readily relate to your story and enjoyed it immensely. However I feel Paul should have accompanied his wife back to the states initially, to get his daughter and the boy.

This line is pure bullshit... "Who gave you the right to make the decision to give up a child I am responsible for?!" My disappointment and disapproval was evident and I don't think Jane had considered I would take this tack." The child has nothing to do with him... and she gave up all rights when she abandoned it with it's father. Sorry, but your fantasy world just does not exist. The husband and wife are disgusting people anyways, so really who cares?

Nice touch. Tough climb

The wall across from the clock contains a memorial to the soldiers, noncoms and officers of the U S Army who liberated the city in WWII.

she have a DNA. Nevertheless the baby han his name on the birth certificate and the baby still belongs to them. Jerkoff has no say in things unless he gets a DNA and a lawyer. He needs killing and then no problem. Why didn't the soldier take care of it while he was in the states?

<p>I knew it this would be the ending. Second chapter did have few things that pointed out that this “marriage” will survive – at any cost. I’m not against reconciliations, but there should be a <i>strong/valid</i> reason for it. I didn’t see any here. </p><p>All three of them need some serious counseling. The mother (Jane) just shrugged the problem off her shoulders like some dust, and the daughter (Janice) took all the blame. Their characters kind of interchanged – Janice for a teenage girl was too mature, and Jane on the other hand was a confused woman. </p><p>I liked your writing and it was a good first story so keep writing.</p>

and I hope that there will be many more. The protagonist was true to himself and avoided letting his emotions run everything in his life. It would be fun to cut the thieving bastard into very small pieces but then at the minimum he would have to spend a long time in the nut house recovering.

The story sounds just like a military pilot taking control of his fighter after an unexpected stall. Jane should really discuss with a head shrinker the question of how she fell into the coils of the seducer. Thanks for an interesting tale.

But this last one is just not up to the standards you set forth in the first two... wimp or not the theme and content do not work in this chapter... You should consider a re-write of the third chapter...

Stupid wimp story

It all seemed rather dry. I can see you did try to bring out the emotions and conflicts, but it did not come through for me. Please keep trying, I do see the potential there. Good Luck!

And they say romance is dead. Well it isn't here on LIT is it? Well done for writing your first story. I am still not sure the husband has done the right thing. But if you say this is how it happened then so be it. Anyway please continue writing.

I enjoyed it. The story ended nicely.

we find that this is nothing but a bull shit story....nothing real ...nothing with the real emotion of real people....what a crushing end to something that started so well...pity ....oh well back to your day job....the ending should get double 00 though for being so lame

I have seen machines with more emotion than this writer. There were frequent errors. English does not seem to be the writer's primary language. This story was simply cold and emotionless.

I was waiting for him to go AWOL on her cheatin' ass. Oh well... each to their own

Your writing style is very formal. Whilst informative there is an element of military report writng in your technique. This does reflect the background of your main character but it does make him seem rather cold and controlled and the story rather uninvolving. Emotion seems to be understood at an intellectual level rather than felt. I suppose this is rationalisation after the fact. To me this rather explains why his wife could be tempted by someone who imtimated he needed her at an emotional level. It is also suggested by his greeting his daughter with a handshake rather than hugs in chapter one. To my mind however you did show his fury and sadness in the controlled manner in which he displayed it using the markers, I thought that an intense action. Despite this he shows a strength of character in removing himself to allow time for his rather repressed but very stong emotions to subside to a point where he could reason them out. Giving his family a second chance is another example of strength and tolerance. He clearly chose to treat the experience as informing himself about himself and tried to learn from, and rise above it. This is a very creditible first effort, and I would prefer to believe it is not based in reality as you suggest. If it is, I hope this was cathartic and has helped you move on. Although, personally, I'd torch the bitch.

Just another well written wimp out story.

That was wonderfully written, it is the reality of situations like that, it has to be for the good of all.

Thank you!

Whore, tramp, skank. Yep, happens all the time around here: devoted, happily married wives with kids, dropping their panties just right and left for every sob story that comes along. Nope, women don't go anywhere they really aren't willing to go to in the first place, and if they're sorry later, it's because it didn't quite work out for them. But hubbie really stood up like a MAN didn't he. He acted angry, even gave the wife mean, dirty looks, thought deep thoughts, left for awhile, and even got real angry at Stan too. But nothing ever came of it. But then he took her right back and demanded he raise the bastard. Gee, guess that makes him a WIMP. ALOT OF NOISE BUT NOTHING REALLY HAPPENED EXCEPT HUBBY'S HUMILIATION.

Please don't stop writing, you are very good. Just stop writing male bashing crap!

Did you really have to finish emasculating Paul the Major Wimp? I asked you to end this male bashing embarrassment after chapter two. But NO! You felt compelled to finish the hatchet job on Major Wimp. "Paul Jr. cannot be an after-thought, a mistake you sweep under the carpet and leave" WRONG! Paul Jr. IS an after-thought, a MISTAKE, that you must sweep under the carpet and leave! Major Wimp would be better served to distance himself as much as possible from his cheating slut wife, and his "loving daughter" who assists his wife in infidelity. They now have a sham of a marriage (in a foreign country no less) and Major Wimp has yet to develop a taste for cream pie. I fear a Major Wimp series in the offing, and fear you will continue to disembowel this poor wuss one gonad at a time. You are a good writer and hopefully in the future you will be able to improve your content to the same level as your writing.

The entire premise is based on the response of a classic cuckold. So he's a soldier and a warrior. Stiff shit. What's that supposed to mean? that he's hard? Bullshit. Wimps abound in all forms. Mainly Americans and British off course.

<p>

Fact of the matter was that the slut couldn't even wait for the husband to leave the country before she spread her legs for the player. The husband learned that, and still decided to keep the whore around. Under the guise of looking after the kids. What a crock of shit. The guy is a soft cock and will remain so until a day after it's too late to do anything about it. That's just the way it goes...

...and 5-10 years down the road, we find out that it wasn't Stan who was an honorless dog who seduced a married woman but the other way around. Did Stan maybe change after the kid was born? I thought she adopted him out not give him to his bio father?

....since very few men of honor simply cut and run, or "Torch the Bitch". There are times for that but this was not one of them. And who can say that he was taking "her" Back. He was doing what he thought was best for his kids.You answered a lot of the critics with this chapter. I know you can give up kids for adoption even if married in many states and yet you gave perfect response to that lame critique.I didn't understand why you had wife tell daughter BEFORE the birth about the affair but unlike many I understand the difference between being stateside and being "there'.And you must be on the right track,Risq's comment took up almost a whole page. Even for him that's a novel.By the way,Puissant means strong, I think you meant "pissant".

I think you pulled the story together brilliantly and sensitively. Great work. I also hope you can ignore the caveman-type of comments about how your soldier handlied this crisis. MOre importantly, I hope you continue to write. You have renewed my determination to complete some stories of my own and risk the barbs of the readers! Great job.

wow! <p>

I wonder if he thinks now that Jane has fessed up and gotten her son from that evil depressed man Stan Cramer who outrageously "seduced" her and "accidentally" impregnating her,,, that our hero no longer needs "magic markers" around his new place in GErmany? Or is he storing a few close by permanently, "just in case" Jane fall under the mesmorizing spell of depressive but highly successful men?

just another cuck