All Comments on 'Diavolo Ch. 03'

Very easily worth 5 stars and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this chapter. I can't wait for the next one.

The dialogue doesn't need — and its impact is diminished by — much of the description. Arduous was misused. Inticing, not inciting. Usual status quo would be redundant if status quo wasn't misused in the first place.

Als, coconut trees don't grow in California.

Thank you for sharing your gift! Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Love, love, love it! Over writing and all. Thanks LH

Poor Gabriel.

That miserable bitch! Wow! now I'm cursing at fictional characters...great job, as usual.

You keep making this one mistake

allot

[uh-lot]

to divide or distribute by share or portion; distribute or parcel out; apportion:

to allot the available farmland among the settlers.

Lot

adverb

Often, lots. a great deal; greatly:

Thanks a lot for the ride. I care lots about my family.

Wow Abs sure is something. She need to stop with this trying to save everybody. She don't want to be caught up Gabriel's games but she fail to realize that she was already at the center of the drama before Gabriel came into her life.

What is up with Daniel? I'm getting a funny vibe about him. What he said about Abigail having a crush on him made him sound like an asshole. I wouldn't be surprised if Daniel has been having his own affairs.

The helpful comments! I appreciate all the pointers and suggestions. This is a rough draft and I've never taken a writing course so anything anyone feels is off, please, by all means let me know. It's the only way I can learn. I also love the comments letting me know how you feel. I laughed out loud with the one about Paulina. Just remember, there are a lot more villains in this story than just Paulina, and a few more I haven't revealed yet. Whoever tried to kill Gabriel could be anyone: Mikayla, Marjorie, Daniel, the chauffeur Edvard, the psycho band manager Diamond, a crazy fan? The possibilities are many.

LOVED the cheesy pop tart joke! Daniel kind of seems like a creep to me, getting a weird vibe from him. I'm looking forward to the Gran and Abigail scenes. And of course something dramatic had to happen ;)

Oh I also wanted to add that I hope more of Abigail's character starts to come out in the upcoming chapters. Maybe it was just because this chapter lacked in her point of view, but she is coming off a little flat in comparison to the other characters who are very strong, with well developed personalties and motives. She wants everyone around her to be happy and to avoid conflict, but what does she desire personally in this situation? I'm just wondering if she has a greater role besides being a pawn for both Gabriel and her mother/sister.

Another great story.

Pls keep them coming.

I absolutely love everything you've written and Diavolo is so good. I'm hooked! I can't wait for the next chapter!

Still working on it, but I might not be posting for next two weeks. My only available hours to write are weekends and this weekend I need to take time out for my hubby because of Valentines. And following weekend I have a girls night out with my co workers. We're going to see fifty shades and then possibly a strip club-lol! Woohoo! Life. But I usually either post here in the comments or on Facebook when next chapter will be coming up. Check my website too. If you email me, maybe I can send you what I have in advance to your email. I don't mind doing that. Anything to keep Diavolo's fans happy. ;)

I wish I could be in your shoes to see Fifty shades right now....... I am loving this new series..I always Known you were talented but this opens ny eyes to the range s where your talent can go and im loving it

History is going to repeat itself in this it seems and. I cant wait to watch it unfold....

Really good writing, some errors in it, but nobody's perfect. Keep up the good work.

What happens next? Please, I'm begging you!

Gabriel needs closer and so does his brother. They probably would make a great together and a force to be reckoned with.

This is going to be a LONG story, so be prepared for a load of things both good and bad to happen. I almost have chapter 4 done. Was able to work on it because the hubby worked the weekend, but we're about to step out in a few hours to see Fifty :D

Hope everyone had an awesome weekend. Not this Wedensday but the following, chapter 4 will be up. I'll get it wrapped up during the week and next Sunday to post. Thank you all for your patience and support.

Leva hunny

I have been trolling everyday looking for chapter 4. Are you soon going to post??

Was uploaded Sunday night so I guess either tomorrow or Wednesday. Also, weird thing, the number of scores is going down, like Lit is taking off scores and-what do you know-the score is going up. Not sure what to make of that... The first chapter I posted had 121 votes and a score of 4.59. Today it has 112 and is up to 4.63. ??? Why are people voting multiple times? Lit knows and will eliminate those votes (thank goodness), but it's just dumb. Makes no sense. It's also dishonest.