Do Over

"That's a do over, Mom!"

"No sweetie, there is no such thing as a do over. That was your third roll. Rolling again would be cheating."

"No fair Mom. I quit."

On another day, I might have patiently explained the benefits of fair play, how no one likes to play with a cheater, how finishing what you start will serve you well through life, using my parenting skills to make a difference in his young life, today I simply respond,

"Okay, go watch TV. I have to pack anyway."

He goes and sits on the couch in a huff, while I go to my bedroom. My suitcase sits empty on the bed, just as I left it. I leave later this afternoon for my 25th school reunion. I had not attended one since the 5 year reunion. After the first 15 minutes everybody was back in the same old cliques, the Jocks and Jills, druggies, space cadets, nerds, and those that I could swear never went to my school. I shudder to think that I too once fit neatly in one of those cliques. I think I'd rather be going to get a root canal than back to my home town. I have not even told my Mother I'm coming, but that's a whole different story. But when my old best friend Janet called and said she was the chairperson this year and she wouldn't enjoy herself without her old running buddy, I succumbed in a moment of weakness and could not bring myself to cancel now. To make matters worse my husband Mike had a meeting on Friday and wasn't going to go. Not that he would have anyway. He is as smart and funny a person as I have ever known, yet he can't stand large gatherings of people, especially when he would not know any of them.

I pick through my closet, finally ending up with some jeans, a couple of blouses, and skirt and sweater. Twice that number of items lay on the floor of my closet. I pull some underwear from my lingerie chest and toss them on top, and push my make-up bag in the zippered flap, and head back out to the den.

I'm just finishing giving my son a snack when Mike walks in the door.

"Traffic is kind of heavy. We better leave now for the airport."

"Okay, let me finish the dishes. Do me a favor, throw my hair dryer into the suitcase and zip it up for me."

Mike headed back to the bedroom and returns shortly with my suitcase in hand and the three of us head to the car for the trip to the airport.

The flight had been uneventful. I got stuck sitting next to a lady who told me her life story even though I kept my head down in the latest Kellerman book, lifting it only to sip my red wine. She was just burying her older brother when the wheels of the plane mercifully touched down on the runway and we pulled into the gate. I called Mike on my cell while waiting for my bag. Luckily my bag was the second one down the chute and I walked out front. In just a second I heard a honk and a gray Lexus SUV stopped in front of me. Janet jumped out of the vehicle and ran around to me. We both squeal like the school girls we use to be and hug. It's been about 11 years since I saw her at her Dad's retirement party. She still looks much the same as she did in school, except maybe 25 pounds heavier. Not fat by any means, just a little fuller.

"My God, Beth, you look great. I bet you still weigh what you did when we graduated. You must exercise all the time"

She is almost right on the weight and dead wrong on the exercise. I must have been blessed with good genes, because I have to do very little to maintain 115 lbs on my 5"4" frame.

We throw my stuff in back and head towards the hotel. I did not rent a car so I couldn't feel guilty and breakdown and visit my Mother. The hotel where the reunion activities are being held is adjacent to a mall, with restaurants and shopping, so I will be fine. Along the way we chit chat and catch up on each others lives. Soon the conversation turns to the reunion and Janet brings me up to speed on all the gossip, who's divorced, who's cheating with whom, who turned out gay, who's in prison, all the essential stuff.

"And you know Beth, Jimmy is going to be here."

"Jimmy?" I ask quizzically although I know exactly who she is referring to. He was an All-State running back, signed a baseball scholarship with Arkansas, President of the Senior class, and my first true love. We dated for the better part of a year, before his path to Arkansas was different than mine to Tennessee. We stayed in touch for a while but the calls and letters became fewer and further apart until they stopped altogether. Sometimes over the first few years, in those quiet reflective times, I wondered what happened to him. But then life comes at you pretty fast and I had not thought about him for years until the reunion came up. I wondered if he would attend.

"Oh, Jimmy. What's he up to these days?" I ask as nonchalantly as possible.

"He's doing good. Married, two kids, 18 and 16, and he's a supervisor over at the factory."

I felt a pang of sadness. Jimmy dreamed of being a lawyer and he ended up at the factory? What happened? Or was it the part about married, two kids, that triggered my emotion?

We drove on, going past Blake Park. Jimmy and I use to go parking there, down by the boat launch. My mind drifts back...

...We had been to the movie, we loved to see comedies and often we would see a good one over and over again. As often would happen, we ended up down by the boat launch. It was usually pretty private back there. A known Lovers Lane, it was dark and secluded, with little or no through traffic. It was a mid spring evening, cool but not cold. Too early for those pesky mosquitoes, so the windows were down. We were making out like crazy. That's all we had ever done, make out. I was such a hot thing. Had he only asked or tried something, he could have had it all. I was too shy to initiate, a trait I carried for a long time, although I think Mick Jagger was singing about me when he shouted, "If you start me up, I'll never stop". I was wearing a short dress that buttoned in the front and Jimmy had on his usual jeans and button down shirt. Our tongues entwined together, each thrusting to gain an advantage. Jimmy dropped his head down and sucked on my neck and I shivered. He started to kiss down the front of my neck towards my chest. This was new. He reached the top of my dress and pulled away and looked into my eyes. His fingers came up and grasped the top button. His eyes asking permission...

"Beth, we're here at the hotel."

"Oh, I'm sorry Janet. I guess I'm tired from the trip."

I retrieve my stuff from the back and head into the hotel.

"Lunch tomorrow?"

"Sounds great. Thanks for picking me up."

I check into the hotel and take the elevator to my eighth floor room. I throw my suitcase on the bed and open it to unpack. I take the hair dryer and make-up bag into the bathroom and return.

"What?"

The underwear I had packed was no where to be found. Instead there were several of my sexy little things. The type you wear when you know they will not stay on for more than 15 minutes. Mike's idea of a joke. Well, I can go into the mall tomorrow and buy something more appropriate, I think. I take them and put them in a drawer and hang up the other stuff and get ready for bed. I had forgotten to throw in pajamas so I undress down to my panties and climb into bed. I had slept in panties only for years until parenthood intervened and pajamas became a necessity for those frequent trips down the hall, past the windows, to check on or sooth the little one. I turn the TV on and lay down on the bed. The sheets are crisp and cool against my skin. My nipples erect against the material. My mind wanders back to the park...

...I stare into Jimmy's big brown eyes and nod. I watch his fingers, they are actually trembling, as he unbuttons the first button. He moves on to the second button with a bit more confidence and releases it as well. My bra comes into view. As one who doesn't need a whole lot of support, I'm wearing a thin, light blue, nylon like bra. Once the third button is opened my whole chest is exposed. My nipples are hard and very noticeable through the thin material. Jimmy stares at them then slowly brings his hand up and cups a breast in his strong hand. A small sigh escapes from me. He traces the outline of a nipple with his fingers. The sigh becomes a moan of pleasure. The next several minutes are frenzied as the makeout session resumes times 10. My lips are sore from the force and passion of his kisses and I pull away from his mouth for a moment. We are both panting for breath. I'm not sure exactly how we got to this point, but I'm straddling one of his legs. My arms are out of the sleeves of my dress and it is bunched down around my waist. Jimmy looks at me again and reaches behind me, pulling and pinching at my bra strap. I giggle and reach down between my breasts and release the clasp. Jimmy looks embarrassed for moment before taking the bra and pushing it back, and off my shoulders. He leans in and I look down as his warm tongue gently licks my swollen, long nipple before sucking it between his lips. No stranger to self exploration, I'm surprised when a small but definitely intense climax erupts through me. Jimmy pulls me to him as his mouth, lips, and tongue make love to my breasts. Both his hands reach behind me, under my dress, and caress and squeeze my ass through my panties. Somehow his jeans are open and his hard dick has escaped from the top of his underwear. My hand finds its way around his erection and I begin to rub him. We quickly find a nice rhythm as my hand slides up and down his shaft, his mouth switches back and forth between nipples, and his hands gripping my ass allowing me to rock my panty covered crotch against the denim of his jeans. I feel a much larger climax building inside me. Jimmy cries out that he is coming. I look down just as the first blast of semen spurts from his dick, landing across my chin and mouth. I quickly cover his head with my other hand and feel his hot juices coat my hand and fingers, triggering my own release. We both slowly begin to regain our senses. Instinctively, my tongue snakes out and I lick my lips, tasting Jimmy's come for the first, but definitely not the last time...

I have orgasmed twice while remembering my experience with Jimmy and I rub my still wet fingers across my nipples before reaching down and pulling my panties back up my legs. I sleep well into Friday morning.

I meet Janet for a late lunch and once again our talk is non-stop. I glance down at my watch and it's already a quarter till 4. Janet says she needs to get home and change. Tonight is an informal cocktail reception and Saturday night is the more formal dinner and dance. Janet drops me off at the front of the hotel and speeds off. I return to my room and run a hot bath and slip into the warmth, truly dreading the next 36 hours. I drift back to Blake Park.

...It's two weeks or so later now. Things move at a much faster rate after that night. We've been parked for maybe 10 minutes and we are in the back seat. My blouse and bra are in the floor, as are Jimmy's jeans and shirt. My shorts are open and unzipped, I'm lying on top of Jimmy, and his hands are in my shorts. I rise up so he can kiss my breasts and as he does so he moves his hand down my ass, between my legs and rubs my pussy through the thin material that I know is soaked. This has become our new routine, he plays with my pussy until I climax, followed by me jacking him off. Something I'm proud to say I have become quite adept at. Sure enough my climax arrives right on schedule and I roll to the side and reach for his erection. Jimmy grabs my hand and sort of stumbles with his voice, finally asking me for a blow job. I don't really know what to do but, hey I'm game. I bend over and kiss the plumlike head of his cock. Jimmy groans and immediately begins shooting spray after spray of his come into my mouth, which I swallow as quickly as I can. I remember thinking that these blow jobs aren't so hard after all...

I've brought myself to climax again in the tub and I'm still sensitive as I dry off and get dressed for the reception. I never made it to the mall so I slip into a lace thong and matching bra that would make a stripper take pause. The thong is no problem under my jeans but my shirt is a little thin, perfect for the camisole that Mike removed from my suitcase, not so much for the lace stretch bra, clearly visible beneath the blouse along with a hint of my dark nipples. Well it's either this or braless, so off I go.

The reception is set up in one of the hotel meeting rooms. There is a cash bar on either side along with a table of munchies. Janet is sitting at the greeting table handing out nametags that include a blow-up of your yearbook photo. Personally I think there should be a law mandating the destruction of all such photos. She hands me mine and says she will catch up with me in about 20 minutes or so. I head to the bar and get a glass of wine and begin to mingle. Is that Men at Work I hear playing on the sound system? I see a few old friends but the conversation is forced. Usually starting with how are you, how many kids, what do you do, followed by awkward silence then a clumsy exit from the non-conversation and on to the next victim. I move towards the side of the room and stand alone, thankful for a brief respite when a hand touches my shoulder from behind.

Jimmy has aged nicely. His brown eyes are still as bright. He has a little salt and pepper thing going with his hair that looks so good on men. His body still looks like he could play ball if he wanted to. Damn he looks good.

I start to stick out my hand but Jimmy steps to me and we share a long, warm embrace. We both start to speak at the same time and stop and laugh nervously. There is a small table in the corner that is empty and we move there and sit down. We sit and talk forever about everything under the sun. Even after all these years, we still have a connection, and an attraction, with each other. When I asked about his wife, he told me she was a nurse and working the overnight shift and wouldn't be able to attend any of the reunion activities. When I told him Mike couldn't make it either, I think his smile got just a little bit wider, or maybe it was just my imagination. Janet joined us for a bit but then was off again, playing hostess. It was getting late and the crowd had really thinned out and some of the hotel staff was already cleaning up. I tell Jimmy I'm headed up to my room. He is surprised I'm not staying with my mother then asks if he could walk me to my room. I hesitate before agreeing. The ride up in the elevator is mostly silence. I open the door to my room before turning to say goodnight. The king size bed looms in front of me and I turn to Jimmy. He moves forward again for a hug and I wrap my arms around him. Before I realize it he moves his head down and is kissing me. I'm so surprised that I don't react. He slips his tongue against my lips and I open my mouth. We kiss for around 30 seconds before Jimmy starts to ease me into the room. I break away and look at him for a moment before telling him goodnight. Jimmy says goodnight as well, but is not anxious for the conversation, or night, to end. He asks if he can have a dance tomorrow. I say sure, I think dancing is the only thing we never did when we were dating. Jimmy disagrees, saying there were two things we never did. I walk into the room and shut the door behind me.

It's a very restless night. I toss and turn thinking about Jimmy's kiss. I feel guilty that I not only allowed it, but kissed him back. How could I have done that? I grab my pillow and fluff it for at least the tenth time and rest my head on it once more. Two things we never did won't leave my mind. Why we never went all the way is still a mystery to me. Birth control was part of it, but he could have bought a trailer full of condoms and I would have gladly helped him use them all. The very next guy I dated was my first. It should have been Jimmy. I remember the closest we got.

It was late summer. Both of us knew we would soon be going in different directions. My parents were gone to a convention and my younger sister was at a friend's house. Jimmy and I were sitting together on the couch, watching TV. He starts kissing my ear. I playfully smack his arm. Another nibble. Another smack. He moves down to my neck. I stop my make believe resistance and surrender to him. In no time we are both completely naked. Jimmy kneels on the floor in front of me and I open my legs for him. Over the course of the summer we have both become very good at oral sex. Jimmy kisses my inner thighs before sliding his tongue through my wet lips, followed by quick little butterfly kisses to my clit. It has its normal effect on me and soon I'm pushing my pussy hard against his mouth as I climax. He continues the light kisses through a second orgasm before lying down on his back on the carpet. I get off the couch and start to move over him in the 69 position. He asks me to sit on him, he has an idea. Like I've said, I was ready for anything. His dick was fully erect, pointing straight up at his chin. He had me straddle him but instead of sliding inside me, I rubbed my pussy up and down the side of his dick. The feeling was fantastic and I was soon coming a third time. Jimmy tensed up, and unloads a bucket full of his cum onto his stomach and chest. A week later we said goodbye.

Saturday passes by so slowly. I'm filled with anxiety about the night before, and worried about tonight. I never thought I could cheat on Mike, and still believe it is so, yet I cannot deny the feelings I'm experiencing. I wonder if the opportunity presented itself, would I do it? I am so nervous that I call down to room service and have a couple of glasses of wine sent up to my room to settle my nerves and drink them both as I get ready for the night. I am regretting my choice of outfits now. I'll admit vanity played a role in its selection. The skirt is one of the shorter ones I own, and the sweater is snug and hugs my chest in a most flattering way. It also allows a little of my midriff to be bare. I've always felt sexy in the outfit and wanting to flaunt a little bit at the reunion. No stockings as my legs are still nice and tanned from a summer spent in and by the pool.

I head downstairs to the ballroom. It's already fairly crowded. I head to the bar for yet another glass of wine. Jimmy sees me and joins me in line and orders himself a gin and tonic. We are both rather subdued, probably embarrassed over last night I guess. We find a table and sit down. We both seem to relax a little over dinner. The food itself was less than stellar, and I just pick at my plate. Soon it's time for the silly awards to be announced. Since Jimmy was President of the Senior class, he gets to handle the announcements. Most kids, who traveled the furthest to be here, etc. Most changed is interesting. It is won by Tiffany Jones who graduated as Tyler Jones. I head to the ladies room to freshen up, hoping Tiffany doesn't join me. When I return the music has started. They have hired a DJ to play music from the early 80's. I recognize the Little River Band playing now and return to my seat. There are several people dancing but many more just watching. My guess is this is going to be a short evening for the DJ. Jimmy and I make small talk though things are more strained than the previous evening. A slow song comes on and Jimmy asks me to dance and we head out to the floor. Jimmy pulls me close and I rest my head on his shoulder and we sway to the music.

"I thought about you all last night," Jimmy speaks lightly in my ear.

Thinking he is feeling guilty for our kiss as well, I respond, "It's okay. It won't happen again."

" Remember how I use to circle your nipples with my tongue, making them stick out, begging for more?"

I am taken aback from his words and can offer no reply. He continues,