by H20wader
Absolutely those videos are admissible. The wife shot the videos, and she starred in them. Quite excellent for a divorce.
Interesting and good work, but you got lost in the weeds every once in a while, and at the end.
Keep on writing!
I don't normally complain about typos, shit happens, but the typos were egregious in this story. There were enough of them that I wouldn't be surprised if they were intentional to get back at complainers or the author has a different native language. It impact my enjoyment of the story and the review score. by two stars.
as for the story, we didn't get the final conflict/divorce experience nor did the three husbands get any on-page justice so it felt disappointing.
This one doesn’t even rate one star. It was already bad but then the author had to insert his moronic right wing opinions. Give this one a pass.
A GOOD ending would have ended with her in jail for unlawful restraint and assault, her videos threatened her to give him everything in divorce or else they are released; same with 3 assholes to blackmail them. Then once divorce happens, he still distributed them to EVERYONE who knows her, the 3 wives wiping out the 3 cheater assholes in their divorces.
3 stars. He had a way to destroy her and 3 cheaters and he decided to be brain dead and under the idiotic guise of "not hurting" the wives let them stay married to 3 cheating assholes and lost his entire revenge. And he have all the money away to the wives too. What a brain dead idiot.
The only reason this is 3 stars instead of 1 is at least he divorced that cheating twat.
Okay, let’s go through this line by line based on how men actually think and act:
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Being restrained against his will has two possible consequences. First, he calls the police, and presses charges against his wife, and anyone who helped her. Multiple felony counts all the way around.
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The second option is if he decides to punish them himself. That’s the only reason why he wouldn’t call the police. That punishment would be death at a minimum, or crippling pain resulting in a lifetime of suffering.
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As for not telling the wives of his so called friends because he doesn’t want to hurt them, that’s utter nonsense. Telling them serves them by letting them know what shitheads they’re married to. Telling serves him by adding another layer of suffering to those who betrayed him.
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Anyone who restrains me should pray that they spend a long time in prison. That would be the least painful punishment they could receive.
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ZK
Ugh dude why do you waste our time with this absolute sorry excuse of writing. What was that at the end...? No details, no reactions...just typing sentences? You suck at writing man, please never write and post again
So much of Susan's perspective but then no Susan's perspective at the end when he finally pulls the trigger on divorce?? It didn't wrap up well, only him not deciding to take harsh revenge was tied up, but nothing else. If you rewrite the ending to be as fleshed out as your beginning and middle it'll be a lot better I think.
Susan came down the stairs in a conservation stopping dress? I always thought that conservation was a good thing.
Not all that different than the other writers endings…. Where’s the imagination?
It is a shame that your "revenge" on the 3 "friends" did not live up to your quote from McBeth. I guess Shakespear understood his audience better than you. 2 stars.
Why do you write in such a wimpy manner? Your MC is so weak I was waiting for him to kiss their cocks and give them his ass. Gay men should refrain from writing straight LW stories. You have no understanding of a hetrosexuals emotions, just like I can not understand your sexual emotions. Stick to writing gay stories for gay men. You failed miserably here.
Keith is a weak ass cucky boy, and for fuck sakes H20wader, learn how to spell and use punctuation....
Sucked balls, I expected some kind of RAAC, they were both used and lied to
so he is pissed and divorcing his wife for cheating, but he decided his 'friends' are worthless cunts who dont deserve to know the truth about their husbands?
I know you can do way better than this.
Redo it and use proper editing this time.
He could go to jail for blackmailing the three friends! A better ending would be that Sue is pregnant. Keith says that he will stay with her until the baby is born. They find out that the baby is Tim’s after it is born so Keith divorces his wife and Tim is forced to pay child support for 18 years!
lets the men who fucked his wife and cheat on his friends off without any payback?
If you cheat, you are a cheater. You don't get to complain.
If you don't know what you did, you are a cheater. You put yourself in that position.
No wet spot? Christ, ticking dumbest blame shift today.
Moral of the story, you cheat, the marriage is over. You don't get to complain about the revenge.
None of this makes the wife any less gross.
The story had promise but why in the hell would he not tell the three wives what they had done to him and them. No sane person would let that stand he's basically fucked them over because he's a wimp
Just another one for the mentally ill. As if an actual real life human being wouldn't tell their friends that their husbands were worthless pieces of shit who'd kill them with AIDS one fine day.
There was no improvement in an already terrible story. Not sure what you hoped to accomplish here.
For the effort but bad story. Along with poor conclusion, many questionable errors. Why would the CD not be admissible? She filmed it herself in their house. No case for privacy or lack of knowledge as all parties were willing paricipants. Keith noted the DL would take 14 minutes but still had 2 hours to goo when he got back from the Waffle House. WTF?
If the original was horseshit, this was horseshit left out in the sun, then covered in vomit. Good God, tvis should have never seen the light of day.
The fact that no one important found out the truth drops this down a lot, three wives are still married to cheating husbands who will probably cheat again if they think they can get away with it. Out of all the endings I've read this is probably the worse of the bunch.
"I did like Jane, Karen and Clare. They were nice people. They would be the ones hurt by all of this, sure the fucking idiots would be hurt too, but how many innocents would be hurt."
I'll never understand that logic, ever. It is in so many stories. Like telling the spouses of a cheater would be vengeful, and not telling is some protective high road. "What they don't know won't hurt them" is the logic the cheater was using in the first place. It's so fucking dumb, and makes the characters in all those stories complicit with something that devastated them hours earlier.
And in every story where the cheating was known about, by friends who didn't tell, they are treated as scumbags by the protagonist. Because they are, to leave a friend in that position. And when the cheating spouse says "Why did you have to ruin X's marriage?" if the injured party DOES tell, they come across as a piece of shit, that doesn't recognize that they're the one who ruined that marriage by fucking the person's spouse! How is telling the truth bad?
This always confuses the hell out of me. I understand not poking your nose into a strangers' relationships, but if you're friends with a couple it's shitty not to tell. And obviously in this case the friendships with the husbands are irrevocably destroyed, so there's no "bros before hos" type philosophy at play. What kind of friend wouldn't tell the wives?? It's not petulant, you're warning your friends about the ugly reality they are living in.
Minor error considering how terrible this was, but why did the re-dial bring up "911" when it was Jane that he called?
I graced you with a *1* and yes you need an editor and spell checker and why did you repeat, repeat, repeat.
Why did you do this to us? This story was torture and when writing from the perspective of two character's point of view, you don't repeat every damned line that was said by the previous character! Plus, your spelling sucks! Glen Fetish? It would have taken SECONDS to check the spelling of that. Also, boringest! The correct usage is, most boring. My suggestion to you is to read, read and then read some more! This will give you the proper format for good story telling.
those are not friends and she was not a loving wife
Not a bad ending . . . she really screwed up, but she'll probably get a much better husband out of it (even if she doesn't really deserve one).
Look at this guy . . . he must have some hatred for women in general, otherwise, he would have told all the wives right away. Their husband's were all asses, and very likely any or all of them could bring home STD's. For their own health and safety, the wives deserve to know . . . but he decides not to tell them. They should also know they'e married to cheats, but he keeps that secret too, which makes him an accomplice to the cheating. Maybe it's just that he really hates these particular women . . . but then you read the 'baby killer' line, and you realize he must consider all women sub-human.
Hopefully she'll get some anger management counseling, and go on and have a decent life. He needs more serious help. Hard to feel much of anything but dislike for anyone in this story (except maybe the other wives, who're really getting shafted).
What the hell, ok wife cheated but she is putting her family her husband on top before someone else's baby n this wimp husband is calling it a sin??????
Stupid christian beliefs are worst. Everyone try to be saint or god instead of being human.
Wife is right to have abortion to show how devoted she wants to be to her husband n not wanting to let her husband raise another man's child n even if they get separated husband wont have the memory of his ex-wife raising one of his friend's child, so at least he can have peace, but Stupid christians actually keep child of cheating adultery rape as if these are boon n forcefully impose life long bitter memory n bitter life for entire family, stupid christians will always remain like that.
No wonder christians think the life is like crown of horns painfully sufferable n this stupid idea comes from how jesus died, what a morons,
Much more positive n encouraging outlook on life is from hinduism n buddhism but rigid minded people will never understand this.
N for the writing it is like a kid has written it. Really worthless.
Two whole pages of...what? Nothing. Two pages of running in circles just to have him run away with his tail between his legs. "Susan, I'm leaving you", you could've put that at the start, instead of the end, and saved us all reading utterly pointless plots that ultimately went nowhere. Why steer the story in several directions, only to completely dismiss your own plot in a hasty and pointless last few paragraphs? It's like reading a book, only to find, on the last page; "You know what? Forget it! The end." You added absolutely nothing to the (admittedly awful) original.
And I don't get the common idea of not telling the other wives the truth, "becaue he doesn't want to break up their marriages". That makes him as big an ass as the others! He would rather see the innocent wives remain married to scumbags that cheat on a whim? He knows these wives are being utterly betrayed, and is complicit in that betrayal. What did the other wives do to deserve that kind of friendship? Not telling them simply makes him a coward.
Ugh, barely readable!
"Well you did have sex with Judy. Isn't she entitled to have some revenge?" – I thought that was in doubt?
“Glen Fetish” – Glenfiddich
"This is not admissible in the court room." – Why not? He didn’t make it without her knowledge, SHE made it and gave it to him on her own.
Incoherent laughable attempt at writing. You the author have no talent whatsoever. Your style is that of a grade 6 student plodding along. Your typos, misuse of words and lack of sentence structure make the plot indecipherable. Finally the constant repetition of material and the utter boredom of the story makes this effort the worst story I have ever seen.
Some people might consider it nitpicking, but it really annoys me when people don't bother proofreading properly, or maybe doesn't do it at all.
Though if I knew it had such a boring ending I probably wouldn't have bothered pointing out all the errors.
tome - time
the worse - the worst
use to - used to
decide to - decided to
to bad - to bed
could finished - could do finished
fpr - for
some bunches of flower - a bunch of flowers
had then - had them
tore and ripped - tore it open
most boringest - most boring
Wel,l - Well,
out onw way - our own way
notarized noted - notarized papers
This was almost unreadable, and why you repeated just about word for word events from each person's viewpoint is beyond me.
Not sure what happened at or after the party. He nuked CDs and stored CDs. He gave envelopes but we have no idea what was in them. Did he tell the wives or not?
Needles to say (sic) the finish left a lot to be desired. Maybe we should all have a glass from "a liter of Glen Fetish scotch" whatever that is.
Those who act honestly when it pays are essentially opportunistic.
Honest people will act honestly even when it is not in their best interest.
That right there is clear proof that she is delusionally insane.
She chains him to a bed and forces him to watch her have sex with three other men, then thinks life will quickly return to how it was before.
Add to that the vicious overboard "revenge" for something that did not even happen and she is barely less insane than one of edrider73's story "wives".
My first marriage ended with a mouthful of my best friends (from work) cum in my mouth, from Judie's cunt. She tried to stop me, however for me to fuck, I always have and still do
Eat pussy first, every fucking time. I was 19 at the time, yeah I was 19 She was 17 when we were married. That's pretty much akin to quiting school in the middle of the 3rd grade as you are now educated, shit you can even read and count change at the gas station! What more do you need to know. One of the women at work told me who my beloved cunt of a wife was fucking as the whole god damn manufacturing production workers seem to know about it. Several of the older married women at the plant took pity on me, and took me out for beer and advice after work to bolster my dragging spirits. That ended up in the best and most decadent pussy of my then 19 years of life. I looked old enough to pass for a little older than my nineteen years and was drinking in taverns and bars from age 18 on. Oregon was a little lax on under age drinking during those days as long as you stayed out of trouble and below the radar. Any how I discovered who the pricks were and started getting even. It was not easy but not too hard either after being openly depressed, devastated, and really down in the mouth, then more than a few parties, bridge games, a lot of drinking, falling down drunk and stuffing my head up a few married women's asses I started scoring with the offenders wives. I was never truly sure how many or who, I simply fucked every women I could married to anyone in our circle of so called friends, (Ron, if you are reading this your wife was true blue to you she truly felt I had been royally fucked and offered only a sympathic ear and that was it, she is a real and genuine jewel). Two women got pregnant, both threatened to kill me if I even hinted I could be the father. I never found out for sure. The cheater and I divorced less than a year into a extremely shitty marriage. I joined the Army, went to OCS, became an officer, attended several charm schools, met some high rollers in banking, Wall Street, Real Estate and they brought my financial education to new heights. Oh yes to keep my commission I had to finish college. During the 2008 financial correction my wife and I lost several million dollars of our net worth. One day we were rich the next day day we were mere millionaires. If you only have a million or two you are not fucking rich, you are middle class and a God Damn poor one at that. If the Republicans had a means test you wouldn't make the cut. We recovered some net worth by not selling out we held on, but by buying low and now we are back up to where we were and beyond. We are both in our mid seventies and I still despise Judith R. S. We have a very high income, travel anywhere we want, save a bundle each month from our monthly income and pretty much lack for nothing. Jude and her bullshit gave me very high resolve, I became a very aggressive investor, very goal oriented, extremely hard nosed in business but I waste a lot of time and money on legal "get even" issues, some made national news, so far it works. However Getting even is like investing in scratch off tickets for your retirement fund. Do not do it even if you can afford it. My advice, simply leave, forget and get even by getting an education and be happy, if you get rich that's a bonus. Truth be told our getting rich was pretty much one happy accident after another, the busier we got the luckier we were. Every thing else is pretty much either overkill, bullshit, or destructive. I have been all of that but have had one hell of a lot of luck in my back pocket. You need luck, do not piss luck away, keep luck happy, and keep luck with you
Had Judith R.S. Cunt and I stayed together, I would have stayed one miserable piece of shit married to a mean vindictive fucking whore like her worthless unfaithful mother probably raising children not my biological offspring, again like her mother, and dying in place working in heat treat or cleaning floors for not much more than double minimum wage and wondering what the fuck happened to my worthless life to cause that much pain.
Thanks to Jude, that cheating cunt, I ended up with a great life, well beyond my wildest dreams, spending my waining years working on my two hot rods, our three Jaguars, my Jeep Wrangler, raising my beloved dogs and green house tomatoes. Now we are looking forward to sending our grandchildren to college, downsizing the home front and starting to liquidate a few cars I only drive to keep the oil seals from drying out.
Ever write even a half decent ending to this story? Yet another weak and worthless attempt to finish a crappy story, and yet another miserable failure! This was among the worst. It rambled and wandered around blindly, and went absolutely no where! Is there a rule in Literotica that only cuck writers can post on it? Seems that way.
sophisticated and blowing it just makes you sound pompous. If you do not have the 30 seconds to google the name, just call it scotch. It's Glenfiddich, you sassanach!
but then he lies by omission with the three wives? WTF?
BUT the concept was very interesting and the outcome - while I am not sure I would have done it that way - was cool in it's way.
The wife lost it all and earned that - BUT the scumbags who precipitated it all got off with their wives - women who are innocent and living with scum who betray them again and again - why do that to them??
You did not want to be the cause of pain but you just delayed it and probably made it worse since when it happens (and it will) the wives will know you knew and could have helped them.
If this were RL which it ain't
Maybe a good editor would have helped this - I'm not sure anything could help it. But the original was a much better ending. Your ending was hodge podge higgle piggle. And rushed at that.
But it was too rushed in the end to make it great. Interesting read, however.
What is the shit about a promissory note and payment due in 15 years and husbands confessing but Hubby not wanting or willing to bust them???
Please, Please, PLEASE use an editor next time. Many parts of this (perhaps critical parts) are unintelligible!
2*
Terribly written (get a good editor) and a terrible conclusion to a good story.
Poor editing made this confusing as hell, especially at the end. Did he nuke the DVDs or were they in a deposit box? Did he cancel his plans at the party, or did he give them letters? It started strong and I was enjoying it. Then the wheels fell off, it got confusing, and the story simply fizzled. She loved him, but didn't fight for him?
Thanks for the effort.
The question can never be answered, because the act of cheating is one of the ultimate acts of betrayal and dishonesty. The woman who says "I should have lovingly forgiven him" is a damn fool and the man who does anything like it is the same. If you cheat, that is the end. You do not respect your spouse and can never be trusted to do so again.
What she SHOULD have done is what every man in these stories does - trust but verify. If he did cheat with Judy, drunk or not, it's over. No forgiveness, nothing. Same goes for women. All drinking does is lower your inhibitions, and if your inhibitions are so shallow, so low that you fall into bed with someone with some alcohol in you, then you have no right to call it anything but cheating.
Of course, He didn't, she lied so that he would forgive her, but that's really not the point. The point is that ridiculous line it keeps coming back to. She should have lovingly forgiven him?
No. There is no "loving forgiveness" for cheating.
And the answer is: honesty after betraying one's spouse isn't mean to "pay". The spouse who betrays is the one to pay the price.
End of story.
Four stars, only losing one because of doing an average job of rewriting a "twist" that's been done to death.
Unfortunately your chopped up writing style left me wondering what happened and why? Sorry.
with "WHY"'s comment.
I you must write to another's story please read it carefully first.
And why treat Jane as friend when what she says makes her their enemy?
In real Glee, I washed all of her pink and her pale blue and her white and any other light colored underwear with a new pair of red woolen socks. Then I dried everything at the highest heat and for 90 minutes. Everything came out a glorious RED!
That would never happen. A single pair of red socks wouldn't even affect the whites let alone colors.
In general, many parts of the story is difficult to understand. I didn't understand parts that were never clearly explained.
You shouldn't have bothered. Did you read the original story at all? Weak, too weak.
... the end! Is it so difficult to "simply" hand over the cd's to the wives and post the video on the Internet. Once again, the "WHORE" wife gets off with a slap on the wrist! Sorry this went from a "5" to a "1" because just like the husband, H20wader you "WIMPED OUT"!
What about the wives reaction to the divorce and the other wives and and and and and ... Very week ending should have left the original story alone
The husband was beyond a pussy, he was the wimpest male anyone has heard of. He had a chance to lower the boom and he pussies out. He has to live with knowing his friends fuck his wife. And yet he does nothing but divorce her. Bullshit floats and this story sucked.
This is unbelievable. Can this "writer" even tie his shoelaces ?????
A mind excrement of an absolute idiot !!!
Your ending to this classic tale is most enjoyable. Susan's character needed some expansion. The denoument left much to be desired in so far as her character goes. Was she happy; did she find someone else; were there children? Other than that minor criticism I have no meaningful recommendations. You are a much better writer than am I.
Extremely hard to read and boring very boring to reading the same dialog over and over. There is potential in your writing keep at it
Why can't Brits use contractions? It's so easy and makes the story flow more as a conversation, rather than a stiff essay.
them live with cheaters and liars. You tell the wives the truth, give them the evidence they need, and let them decide what to do and how.
You didnt seem to care if the husband was a man, a little boy, a wimp, or an asshole. You just let him slowly slide down into a mud pit.
Story skipped around to much with out much in the way of detail, seemed rushed. How can he say that he was protecting his friends (the wives)? They are stuck living a lie with scum that would set up their friend and screw his wife? Protecting them would have been to let them know. He did the right thing in divorcing his slut, even after he comes home she's still trying to manipulate him, keep the baby, have him quit his job, start doing the cooking for her etc. What a bitch.
Come on guys. Don't you even care about the quality of writing? This story can barely be followed because the author skips around in his thoughts and can't seem to tie one idea to a following idea. Even allowing for fiction and fantasy there should be some grip on reality in a story that is working on a miscommunication theme. The wife was shown only indirectly to be a selfish, self centered person, while the husband was cast as a clueless guy unable to talk straight talk to anyone. Who would have not done much much more to straighten out a practical joke? Story is a weak follow on to the original story as a resolution to the problems between husband and wife.
provide them with the evidence to get rid of the bastards and get a good marriage.