All Comments on 'Dumbass Daddy'

Great debut story, love this hot father daughter incest tale. Hope to read more stories from you. Thanks

This was smoking hot can't wait for the next chapter

Great story. Really enjoyed your writing. Hope next chapter is soon.

great story.

only issue was that she kept going from being his daughter, to step-daughter, and back again.

hot nonetheless!

but I would have preferred a bit more romance in it. Even in the finale, it wasn't very well romantic. Also, you need to use a lot more comas. An awful lot of run-on sentences here. I know many people don't think that's an issue, but having to reread so much of the story is irritating. For me, anyway.

Thanks Peebudy, ansdguy, for taking the time to leave your critiques I can't learn as a writer unless people leave feedback like this so thank you.

To respond more directly.

Step-daughter to Daughter thing.

Your right it was clumsily executed. I had intended it to express the fact John thought of her as his daughter, even though she was his step-daughter. It came across though as disjointed and I probably should have addressed this directly rather than trying to play a word game.

Romance.

I had never intended this story to be even close to romantic but I can understand you wanting more romance in a story.

Commas.

Oh commas, commas, commas, how I love and loath thee. Most writing guides you read will say if there is even a dispute about a comma you don't need it. I didn't hit the right balance here, I will definitely take note in the future on this point.

I'm not going to edit the story as I would end up in an obsessive editing loop, so I'm going to leave it as it stands.

Still got a hell of a lot to learn, FiHippy :)

well done.....my one daughter read it with me ..of course we had to stop a few times and gathers our own wits...

Another chapter with some background info would be nice. You have a good writing style. Keep it up.

Loved it. .If she was my daughter she would have been fucked a lot earlier today

Good ideas but I was wondering if English is your mother tongue (too many errors of punctuation and syntax - and word choice.) Keep writing but have somebody with editing skills read your work before you post it. Thanks for the story.

The story is good despite several errors of spelling and grammar. One detail: the father is 38 and the daughter is 23 (i.e. John was 15 when Gemma was born.) How come?