All Comments on 'Dying Inside'

That was really exceptional. The writing was flawless and drew the emotions effortlessly. The note it ended on was absolutely perfect. Hope. Without a cliched, too quick moving on. It was real and it was moving. Great job.

wow that was an awesome story. I am in a similar situation as Ethan and you put my feelings into words. It also gave me so much hope when it ended. Thanks a lot.

You hit one out of the park with this. I think most people can relate with requited love in whatever form. Wonderful writing. Hope to read more from you.

What could I possibly add to the previous comments?

Beautiful, emotional and heart wrenching. And ending with a glimmer of hope for the future. It left me wanting more. Much more.

Thank you.

Pls pls pls continue this story!!! *big, shiny, puppy dog eyes*

...what all erotic short fiction should aspire to be. Excellent work.

I do not usually read stories in this category (not my cup of tea), and apparently I've been missing some truly great writing, or at least I'd missed yours.

This is art transcending the category, and I thank you.

As I read, and the story drifted to musings of the best man I thought of going on to another story. Dream sequences and the part in your story as he daydreams don't interest me. Then you went completely the other way and had me all choked up as the father and son talk. Incredible. If you are not a professional writer...you should be. I don't make a habit of saying such things but you have extraordinary talent. Perhaps the sentences themselves could use more polish, but they are mere window dressing. You have the ability to conjure up compelling characters and tell a good story. Again, great job!

that was such a heart-warming story; and well written too i love the ending

you should make a chapter 2 you so good

what a great story it really made me feel for the guy who just wants to be loved. a second chapter would be great

This is really good and shows real promise, but I agree with the other comment, a second chapter would be great to show a bit more development of the characters.

i think it would be so great for you to write t a second chapter, I thought this story was touching and well written

I agree with the others, this was such an amazing story and I loved the ending.

But really-PLEASE write a chapter 2!!!

I can't wait to see what happens to them! (:

i think a second chaptter would be simply amazing. you should seriously consider writing something more.

Usually, I hate stories in the present tense, but this story caught --and held-- my attention. It was great. I felt his agony at not being loved by the one he loves. However, I agree with everybody else. there should be at least a second chapter. I feel this Ethan's story is unfinished.

-- Soulless

Great job. I really like your story and I felt Ethan's pain and anguish. Part of me says yes to a continuation but I am satisfied with it ending as you presented. The first feelings of a mutual attraction are both joyful and full of doubt and self deprecation. It's easy to imagine Ethan's new life and his learning he can love another.

I feel for him... and hope to read the next chapter to see him happy

...was me.

Literally.

It was both painful and cathartic to read this. I'll never forget the day I last saw the man I was in love with walk away, not even knowing how I felt about him.

I needed to know someone else understood.

I'm him right now... Loving this guy and never telling him. Sooner or later I know he'll be with someone else... but I'm to scared to say anything. I've always been hurt and have him as a friend is better than loosing him, even if it kills me everyday.

My last year of high school, falling in love with him. He knew but it wasn't mutual- he loved someone else, and I spent the whole year dying inside wishing he loved me. We went our separate ways after graduation and I never saw him again.

Lovely prequel...kinda like foreplay. I love it! Well done!

your story really touched me ... it doesn't quite fit on literotica, but you are a great writer and you seem to have a gift for making a character feel real ...

More!

That was an awesome start to a longer story.

Great depth and lovely characters

Beautiful start...please add more.

I almost hate you for not writing a sequel :) It's such a sad story and the tiny hope at the end is not quite enough even if it helps.

very good story, though I want to hear the rest of it. who is he, what happens between them?

Great story!! More pease!

Loved this story. So heartbreaking, but amazingly written. I would love to read more! Tell us more about the mystery man!

This story was so good n emotional plz make another part n give ethan his happy ending

Part 2

Very sweet!