All Comments on 'Eco-"Friendly" Cleaning'

Reread this. TTT, you are one fine writer, that ending was a 10 star.

Wow……wow. 5 stars.

That was dark and sad and beautiful. Great story

Great story but I hated the mc, understood him but that didnt justify for me the way he treated her or her partner. 5* for the the story writing but not for the brutality.

5 fucking pages of the cheating sluts and Brenda's whoring business.

Cuck writer fucked up Dave's character. 2*

Dave had no soul. He will be disappointed if there's a heaven and hell. I understand why he was in so much pain however he destroyed his own soul with residual hatred. Brenda deserved some hatred but I pity Dave's kids as he has worthless emotional health. Near the end i was hoping that someone out of the past would catch him is a dark alley and beat him senseless.... This M/C was a perfect construct for the commentators that rail any ending but total annihilation.

Painful. No winners. Realization too late.

When this was posted, I was 18, graduating high school in May, and full of righteous anger. I know I read this and loved that the “whore got what she deserved!” The best friend got his ass pounded too? Hell yeah!

But now… I’ve gotten soft in my old age. I feel very sorry for Brenda. Such a waste of a life and of a true love. Both MC and Brenda did it to themselves and to each other. The saddest thing, going back over the story, is that she didn’t need to make this a super high paying job. She and her cleaners could have made a modest amount and gone on to happy, undisturbed lives.

Poor Brenda. I know her love out weighed her betrayal. and the depth of that love could have MAYBE led to reconciliation, but it was giving her ass to other men, while denying her husband, that made it impossible. I cant help feeling bad. She lost everything and lived in misery before begging the man she loved to kill her.

The MC was way over the top in his revenge. Wifey was not trying to hurt him, obviously she never spent the ill gotten gains bu was saving up for her planned on famiy. Her biggest mistake was letting the dipshit take her in the ass. No heroes in this story, juat an uncompromising haqteful hateful guy who could have came to a good business decision.

WOW , a very hard story to read but well worth it .

Nothing lijeable. Not in the charactors, not in the story.

The MC is very unlikable for many reasons but I'll just go with this one since it's a reoccurring thing in your stories. Why did the MC get mad when Gail brought up the FACT that he settled? You clearly went out of your way to point that out. Also, murder, really?

I like your writing and generally enjoy your stories. This one was a bit much for me. Using Gail all those months (a little maybe, but all those months?) and then the murder at the end just went beyond what was acceptable to me, but not to others, I'm sure. Thanks for your time and talent in bringing your stories to life.

The ending was a little too short for me personally. I liked it and the overall narrative, but it plays out like a tragedy and the best tragedies still end with a sunrise, the ending seemed to be quite a few paragraphs short. Without the sunrise and hope at the end it played more like a dirge. But that's just me man, still loved it, probably why the last bite was hard to swallow. Thanks for writing it

Powerful ending.

Forgive himself for what? All those hoes deserved it. And he should have told that bitch to shove it when she called him. What is all this victim nonsense? She knew what she was doing and deserves every bit of misery in her life

Too many negative waves man. Thanks for sharing your work.

It made me very angry.

Fifth promise, don't blend clening products.

"You deserve more." - Actually, no. When he sent her away, he forbade her to even see her family. I don't know if her parents are still alive, but he stole 10 years with their daughter from them.

5/5

Nato_

Do we ever know why she was dying? Assume cancer.

Very well written. Thanks.

Gripping, heartbreaking, uplifting .... all in one. I don't care about moralizing bullshit, , an invredibley good story. 5*

Wow, I am a bit torn by the whole "I never ment to hurt/betray/destroy you" bullshit and his instantly homicidal reaction but maybe i am mellowing in age but great storyline, well written. I think because i enjoyed it that much added detail would be nice could be an interesting ending if her forgiveness was false as well and his murder/euthenasia was live fed directly to the police or someone to blackmail him perhaps...

Second time that I have read this story, and the dust in the air got in my eyes again as I read the ending.

What is interesting in the story is how they move through the various stages of betrayal, anger and grief. Their reconciliation at the end is short and what I felt was real. I feel for Jenny though, he would need to be honest with her at some point or he would be as guilty as Brenda.

I liked this one :)

I've read many of your works, and being honest this wasn't up to par. Yes, your writing style is still good, but this story was full of rage and hate. I didn't see the point, because not only did no one win, or learn anything, but, the man became a murderer, and went on his way home to find comfort for the monster he had become. Just not a good story.

Holy shit I was not ready for that ending. I'm genuinely heartbroken. Why'd you do this to me? I'm just trying to wank, not cry.

Wow, that was some ending.

Ok. I understand the wife got “ carried away” with her business. But giving her ass away like it was a party favor, didn’t make any sense. There was another story on Lit, where the wife and her friend, got a job at a motel. They gradually started prostituting themselves, to make quick cash. The husband is clued in, and he tips he cops. Every body is arrested. He gets custody of the kid. She gets out, and moves out west, where she opens a legal whorehouse. And comes back for her kids graduation, but tells him never to visit her. SHE at least realized she was a whore, and was in love with the $$$$. This happens, to a lot of women, especially those who grew up poor. Wifey, in this story, was a whore. She was all about the money. It was unfortunate for her, she never admitted it to herself, and moved on with her life. Everyone, would have been happier.

Wow, now that is a story. I'm writing with tears running down my face. Powerful and emotional round house to the head. Amazing portrait of the pain involved in this kind of marital betrayal. Thank you for this.

Damn, that was rough, esp the end.

I guess that means you did a good job.

So, good job.

Bloody good story with some realism showing what cheating can cause to a marriage and how it affects the involved. Not every marriage will react this way, but Brenda might have loved him very much truly, but was simply stupid and also careless. She might have gotten used to the love of her husband, taking it for granted.

So, after she lost everything, only then she realized what she has lost, and the cost of her unfaithfulness.

The husband suffered cuz, well, it makes you think if your wife truly ever loved you. Even if she cheated, it's hard to lose the love you felt for that person over a long time. Love can be something great, but also quite vicious this way. Heartbreak can be quite potent at ruining people's mind and body.

Well, anyways, great story with some emotions stuff.

I appreciated this story. It made me cry. You’re a good writer, really. I’m sorry you don’t write anymore. Thanks for writing and sharing. i’ve read several of your stories. This is the second one that made me cry. MHaiCS

That was grim very grim

Fucking pathetic ending. Forgiveness is so overrated. Why do that to yourself? Someone who betrays and disrespects you in that content deserves no mercy...

Fuck fuck fuck. So dark but so good at the same time. No winner here not a one.

Dark. Midnight dark. Midnight in a coal mine dark. Damn well told, and so very dark.

This guy has a gifted insight into human nature.

Wow

Excellent work with an emotional ending

Ending alone acquired 5*

For it's heart touching sad conclusion

Great story except the ending. I don't understand why he did it? He could have just bring her home with him to spend the rest of her life in peace.

Even when you do some kind of revenge, it's cucky.

Great story, but I do not understand what the ending was. Not at all.

An amazingly well written story. Can't say I enjoyed what it was about but that in no way detracts from how well the story itself was written.

Haha. True love?!?! Dumb ass cuck unMisTakenIdentity eating out sloppy seconds to forgiveness and "true love"? Is this your true love?

TRUE LOVE beaten by BUSINESS SAVVY and PRIDE? How weak is your level of true love?

Westerners and their moronic education. TRUE is infallible, absolute and unquestionable. Stop jacking off to cuck porn for a year. Stop that wimp cock of yours from stealing all the blood from that pea-sized brain long enough to ponder over the epiphany of the moronic nuances of your stupid statement.

Geezus C. Christ!

Some of the comments here crack me up. This is an amazing story (yes it's sad but still amazing) by one of the site's best authors.

This character will live with what he did to destroy his wife/ex wife for the rest of his life. All because he could never forgive. And this was a woman who was the true love of his life.

Difficult all the way through but consistent.

Well written, moving particularly at the end. Very sad ending

This writing is trash, the characters aren't believable. 1 star

Very well written and a very good story.

It was a very good story. Avery sad ending though.

Shit!

Second time for me already gave it a five. Well written believable story. Also incredibly sad.

Damn, I mean damn.. Emotional masterpiece. Got me in the heart. This one hurt so much because it felt so real and immediate. Echo the post before me. Congrats. But damn.

Quit making me cry!

The hero is just too perfect and yet committed every selfish act of cheating that his wife did. I didn’t like his character. I didn’t understand why the women all adored him.

A very difficult read. Dark squared. But oh so well done.

So much pain and hatred, and so very much sadness and broken hearts forever.

A painful read and so hurtful.

Cleanse the heart and soul, accept the unfaithfulness so you yourself can move forward with life.

What killed her?

The premise of forgiveness is so overated. Here's my alternative ending; After she asked him to fulfill his promise. He lays her down, ties her hands and feet to the bed, then proceeds to give her a golden shower followed by a Cleveland steamer. And leave her there to enjoy her final days where she belongs....

lol.. what a ridiculous story..OP has clearly never talked to a prostitute

Damn, that was a tough read. I hated how he treated her, felt it was too over the top. But in all of these stories the reaction is always an overreaction so to be expected. The ending saved the story for me, if not for that final scene this would be a mediocre entry in the LW genre.

The end made the story a 5 star tale. He threatened to kill her for her betrayal of his love, then ultimately killed her as an affirmation to her of how much he loved her. Outstandingly twisted and bizarre, and a really ingenious ending.

A 5 star story with an interesting if upsetting ending. Now sure how to feel about the ending, seems like something the dude wouldn't have wanted to do for his own sake. Don't even know about the forgiveness, what she did was inexcusable and then to top it off may cost him his life she nearly destroyed. A good story but I've come to expect that from the author.

Last time I read and commented on this tale was three years ago. Originally was eight years ago. The only thing to add is that after the murder of his ex-wife, he was sentenced to life in prison without parole. Oh, also his new wife divorced him and hit the lottery and forgot about him. As far-fetched as this is it could happen. Fuck it.

When I got to the point where he strangled her almost to death the first time all the energy in the story left. When I realized it would turn into a BTB story I lost a great deal of interest. I decided to stay with it because of the fine reputation of the author. It became very convoluted and seemed to wander around in the desert. TX, you write enjoyable stories and I have favorited few. This is not one of them.

You are a good writer, but I absolutely hated the ending. It dropped from 4 to a 2 in one paragraph.

What a vindictive man. These ladies kept telling him how great he was, and he could actually euthanize his ex? That’s not a great man by any definition.

I was stunned. Absolutely incredible. The ending was such a deep well of sadness and tragedy it had me bawling. Not many things impact me like that. I couldn’t get it out of my head for days. If you’re aim was to have an emotional impact, you hit the mark.

sad

I expected better. The dude is a total prick. Should have been arrested at the first break in. not even close to being realistic.

a stupid escalation and retaliation..

so what next, the neighbors dog craps on his lawn and the asshole shoots it.

dude is a total fuck stick.

Sadly like lots of these stories, the husband is an egotistical asshole, you can't blame wives for cheating on them

This story shook me. Good writing can do that. While I may not like how the main character dealt with his cheating wife, I can appreciate a well told story.

Sorry I was one third of the way through page one I knew 90% of the story.

I read the same story in a magazine called forum nearly 50 years before your story line you must had picked it up from them.

You need to be more imaginative. Go back to the drawing board.

Blackmail is not rape. Rape implies no choice. Gail had a choice, she just didn't like the consequences. Brenda was taking it from many d*cks in all holes. You expect her husband to just be cool with it, and take the high road, screw that. The comments down playing the females actions and demonizing him is weak feminist bullsh*t! Dave did well be dumping a flagrantly cheating b*tch, getting all the money from her whoring around. Banging her equally whorish friend that gave great head. Then getting a wonderful wife and children. In a feminist hamster wheel brain he is the bad guy. Go to the source or root of the problem, if Brenda and Gail don't turn themselves into whores, then there is no problem. Feminist don't like responsibility, consequences, or unintended consequences.

Vast majority of comments are very positive, but not deserved.

It was well-written, but I could not understand why Brenda just did not run to her lawyer and the police and get a restraining order against Dave. Dave is just a bully wife-beater and asshole, who deserved a divorce but not much more. He was the financial and emotional beneficiary of Brenda's vice until he found out. Then he hypocritically takes up with Gail who was more instrumental in the destruction of his marriage than was Brenda.

And, what was Brenda's illness?

Too many stupidities and blanks in the plotline to make this a good read.

He almost kills his wife and then rapes Gail. And yeah it was rape. Blackmail sex IS rale. Fuck this story.

WOW!

only reason he was so upset and divorced her was because she wouldn't have anal sex with him?

In these stories. The cuck always makes an appearance. There's a whole host of 'Forgive any sin' authors on this site. I suppose it makes them feel superior. Holier than thou. Better than the God they pray to. Even their God doesn't forgive everything, that's why he created Hell. But these authors think they know better....

This is a very well written and emotionally powerful, especially the ending. Gave me tears in my eyes and a painful lump in my throat... Having lost my soulmate and True Love through her betrayal and rejection of me, taking my three sons away from me, I feel like I lived this story... If you don't believe in True Love, then take myself as proof that I does exist and soulmates, while rare are real. I'm a 61 year old heterosexual male and she's still the only one that I have ever had sex with, though for me, it was always making love....

Did the slut wife have AIDS in the end? He should have left her to die slowly, rather than help her die!!!

Now that is a great story, so full of feeling and well written, thought out well, nice set of characters with well detailed sex and a sensitive ending to stop you in your tracks.

Your best story in my opinion. Had some really sad parts... and of course... the ending. Lots to think about. Great read!

Well

I am

Huh

Don't know

Not into Dark

So

Sad ending but good story

I certainly enjoyed his revenge to a point, but the ending was off.

~sniff~ ~sob~

but tough to read - emotionally

Wow. This story was something. And how his promise transformed from one of anger to one of love was powerful and not something I had even imagined as an ending. Just wow. And I am not going to discount the well woven sex scenes either. Good job friend. I can pretend I came to this site to read great literature after this story.

but also really depressing.

such is the fate of all involved with adultery.

Very well done. Actually got a little emotional about the ending, the sign of a well written story.

I am not a fan of melodrama but this is powerful. If you could only lose some of the bravado you could be the best around here on LW.

What can I say? Liked every bit of this story. Though the end was still a little wtf too much for me. Police would find the body and he would go to jail. And what was she ill with?

I loved it. A 5 Star Rating. Incredibly sad. Everyone loses. How things might have been different if he could have just been able to have the talk in the beginning that he had with her at the end. I have found your writing very enjoyable. Great job.

To know that Ron and jenny were fucking mercilessly when Ron convinced jenny that Dave is cheating behind her back with his ex after showing her evidence. Ron is equalizing the goal, setting a score with Dave the greedy bastard. Dave become psyche patient seeing jenny getting fucked by Ron. Dave crippled and got admitted in psychiatric hospital. Gail came to know that she is settled with a pimp who immediately started using her to earn money. Ron paid the pimp and found a homeless man who is HIV +ve , and sent him to fuck Gail, told her afterwards through a messenger. Ron and jenny lived happily ever after.j

Was good up until the ending and all of a sudden that 180 turn, what?

Cbeating whore. A real whore mind you wants your forgiveness on her deathbed. Hell no. Especially after she said she forgave you. For fucking what? Oh. For not giving her a chance to explain.

And pussy wimp ex falls for it. I did this. I hurt her soo much.

For christ sake. Give me a break. Spit in her face is the only appropriate response. Tell ber know and that you wish her more guilt and suffering in ber remaining weeks. And then leave.

God. Wimpy as men piss me off.

Read this again. Horrible people in this tale. In the end he should have just left her alive and walked away. Also, he did not deserve to have a wonderful family so hopefully his bad karma takes care of him. They could all burn together.