tagHumor & SatireEight Minute Essential

Eight Minute Essential

byUncle South Loop©

Jenny, the Speed Dating host, clanged the bell and announced, "OK, people. Times up. I hope you all enjoyed your dates. Eighth and last one to go. It could your best. Remember to note your cards."

The twenty couples shook hands for a second time saying "Nice meeting you." Half were sincere, half weren't. All rose and scanned the room to locate the table or booth with the numbered placard matching their cards next to "8." Most marked their return cards and personal note cards in making their way to their last date.

Jenny looked on with interest as all were finding their final assigned stations. A hopeless romantic, she got more from her job than money. Her secret was to pick out couples that looked physically well-matched and watch when any of her picks drew each other. Her smile broadened in seeing the couple settling into booth #10. They were one of her picks.

Both were about the same age, attractive with well-toned bodies. She added their station and round number to her personal list. Later this week, she would check the company site and see if her picks made a connection – both marking 'yes' on their return cards and the gals allowing their e-mail addresses to be given out to interested males.

Jenny waited until all found their station before lifting the microphone to her mouth to say "Alright couples. Good luck. Eight minutes starting now...GO. " She looked over to booth #10 as she hit the bell.

"Hi, I'm Gregg. Nice to meet you."

"I'm Angie. I'm really glad you're one of my draws. I saw you when I came in and I was losing hope of drawing you."

"Really? I've had the exact same thoughts."

"Good start. Now, if you're game, lets get right to what we REALLY came here to find."

"I'm sorry. I'm game, but a little confused on 'what we REALLY came here to find'"

"You know. But, to save time, I'll UN-confuse as fast as I can. There's probably a few gals here husband hunting and a few dorky guys hoping to find some arm candy to show off to friends or people they work with. The rest of us are here to find someone to fuck. Are you with me? "

"Well...I...I...that's putting it bluntly...but yea...it's why I came."

"Good. That leaves us plenty of time. We've already answered the question of mutual attraction so we get right down to seeing if we've found what we came here for. For starters, the tits you're staring at are real. My bra size is 34C. My aureoles are about two inches across and, like my nipples, are light brown. Of course, when played with or sucked, my nips harden up to about a half inch wide and high. Now, put your male ego aside and tell me how big your cock gets when fully hard?"

"Whoa! Wait a minute! This sounds a little too good to be true. Are you just putting me on...you know...just having a little sadistic prick-teasing fun with me."

"I'm dead serious Gregg! Besides, you've nothing to lose in going along with me? If nothing more, it'll sure be different than the other seven dates you just had. Going along is your only way of finding if I'm being honest. C'mon...please?"

"Okay, what the hell, this could be...ah...interesting. I'm a little over seven inches long and almost two inches thick. If this were a wrap-around booth instead of one with the table between us, you could use your hand to prove I'm not lying."

"Ummm, sounds yummy. I could use my foot instead. You willing?"

"Ah, I never expected a foot job on a Speed Date. Your leg long enough?"

"Gregg baby, I've got a pair of nice looooong legs."

"Yes, you do. Here, let me grab your ankle to get your foot where it should be."

"I KNOW I could get you hard REAL fast if I could use my mouth your cock and..."

When Jenny saw her booth #10 pick suddenly stop smiling and look serious, she was concerned. It wasn't often that her "picks" didn't connect. She was a relieved when their smiles returned and they both began laughing. But, she couldn't guess why the girl was pressed as far back in her seat as possible.

"....sometimes, instead of swallowing I let my partner cum on my face or tits. I like playing with it and then scooping it up and licking my fingers."

"Ohhhh have some mercy! I enjoy oral sex too, both getting and giving it. Sixty-nine is great. I love diving into and sucking a hot juicy pussy. For me, getting my partner off using my mouth first makes fucking her all the better afterwards. I feel less pressure to perform and seem to last longer. You shave your pussy?"

"I sure do, did mine this morning. I leave a triangle of pubic hair right above my cunt."

"Your cunt sounds absolutely scrumptious! I'm liking this. If we keep talking about sex and using explicit words, chances are good that your foot will feel the answer to your first question."

"I'm counting on it."

"I'm sorry for my earlier doubt."

"Apology accepted. The clock is running, let's move on. Since you mentioned it, how do you feel about BDSM?"

"The only thing I've tried is bondage. One of my old girlfriends and I took turns tying each other up. I liked both ways. With the right partner, I'd be very willing to experiment. I think variety and trying something new is the only way to find out what you like. How do you feel about it?"

"I've done bondage both ways too. It was fun. I can't say which I liked better. I've never dated a guy who was into dominance so I don't know if I would like it, either as slave or mistress. I'm curious about spanking and mixing pain with sex. But, like you said, a lot depends on your partner. You have a favorite position?

"I've yet to try a position I DIDN'T like. You?"

"I like variety too. There's so many ways to have great sex. I don't have a favorite. Being on the bottom, I can just spread my legs wide or wrap them around his back...or grab my knees and pull back to take get every inch of cock in me...sometimes I hold my legs together and pull back to get deep penetration."

"Oh yeah! Feel how you're turning me on."

"Yes I do. Being on top gives me total control. I can set the pace. Holding my back straight, either one of us can play with my nipples or clit. Leaning half way over, my partner can grab hold of my tits and suck on my nipples."

"Ohhhh, mercy. Control isn't an issue for me. In fact, with a partner who will initiate and take control I get fucked more often. I don't get why any guy would complain about more fucking. Don't get me wrong, I DO like fucking doggy style. Do you?"

"It's the best when I'm really horny. I like starting slow, getting a cock in nearly all the way and have my partner reach around and paw my tits, tease my nipples or diddle my clit. Then, when I'm ready, have him grab my hips and pound me with his cock. I can rub my clit or just enjoy his balls slapping my puss...DAMN Gregg! Your cock is longer as my foot! Why'd you lie to me?"

"I was afraid you wouldn't believe me or I'd scare you off. Now that you know, does it change your mind about us?"

"I don't think...no, I'm sure...it doesn't...I've never been with anyone as big as you. I...I...you'd have to be patient with me...go slow to give me a chance to adjust...maybe use a little lube. And...I might gag a few times...trying to take you down my throat...I think I'm wet."

"Whew, that's a relief. I need to pull your foot away. We've only a minute or two left and I'm hard as a rock. I need some time to calm down before getting out of here."

"Oh yeah...sure."

"Angie, it's nearly truth or dare time. I've gone along with you and let you get me all worked up. Do I leave pissed off and go home to masturbate away my frustration or you coming home with me to prove you're not a prick teaser?"

"Gregg, how far away from here do you live?"

"My place is about ten minutes from here. I drove. My car is in the parking lot down the street."

CLANG!

"That's it folks. Times up. I hope all of you have had a good session. Please be sure to turn in your yellow cards to me and take the white ones, with your notes, with you. You are all welcome stay here if you want and have another drink. Maybe get to know one of your dates a little better?"

The room was again filled voices and people stirring. Nineteen couples shook hands for a second time saying 'Nice meeting you.' The in booth #10 couple was the sole exception.

"It's good you live close. I can hardly wait to get that monster cock of yours in my mouth and pussy. I'll be right behind you."

"Make that in front of me. I'm still hard."

"We could take a couple minutes filling out cards and be the last ones to turn them in. It'll give you a little more time."

"I don't think that'll work. Seems like everyone is taking a little more time on their cards...Hey!...Why the hell should I even care?...Lets have some fun. Don't all good dates end with a kiss?"

"They do."

"Stand up."

When Jenny saw them stand, tightly embrace and share a long passionate kiss; she was stunned. The room went quiet for a few seconds until someone gave a loud whistle and clapping started. Everyone joined in. When the two finally broke off, they were both grinning and their faces were flushed.

He followed her unusually close when they turned in their cards. Jenny couldn't wait to tell them, "You two really are a pleasant surprise. It's the first time I've ever had a couple end a Speed Date the way you two did."

"Really? Greg and I both are looking forward to some first times."

"That's for sure, Angie. We can't wait to start. You've got our cards, Jenny. But, neither of us may be checking back with your service. Bye and thanks."

They left in a rush, before Jenny got the chance to reply. She would enter the data from their cards despite what he'd said. When she checked a week later and wasn't disappointed to find they hadn't checked back. Instead, she smiled.

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