All Comments on 'El Paso - Jake Rivers Ch. 02'

Hi,

This was supposed to have been posted as "El Paso City". As the note in the story says the original posting of this story was inadvertently deleted by a miscommunication between myself and the site managers when I submitted an edited version.

I hope you enjoy the story.

Regards, Jack

Thank you for the "rest of " the story. As with all of your

stories, it was well done.

Finally got to give you a ten. Five for the first posting of El Paso City and now five for the El Paso part 2.

It really was a great story. You keep proving that you are one of the best writers out there. Time after time you write great stories. You deserve all the kudos you get.

With the highest regards

DG Hear

Jake! Both parts are so well done...THANK YOU! A tale well told and wonderful vivid characters! I look forward to other

tales from a masterful storyteller.

Jake! Both parts are so well done...THANK YOU! A tale well told and wonderful vivid characters! I look forward to other

tales from a masterful storyteller.

Like DG, I too finally got to give you a ten. Five for the first posting of El Paso City and now five for the El Paso part 2. This was a truly wonderful, tender and heart-warming tale that gave me so much enjoyment even at the second reading. Yes a great job showing what a great idea this was. You can all be very proud! Bravo, Pete.

An interesting account of Faleena's life and a really great account of the romance between Falina and Jack.. A very happy ending!! I was kinda wondering about how she felt about sex with Jack but it wasn't necessary.. I didn't think she would feel detached..

Jake, it was well worth a second read. In fact it was more enjoyable the second time because I could take the time to savor the richness of your writing. Thank You. Ronnie W.

Jake

Just a beautiful story, in both parts. Really interesting seeing the similarities between the father and the son, and acknowledging that a strong and binding attraction two people can be established very quickly as I very well know from my own experience.

Bob T

To start with a good - fun song lyric - and develop it into this -

Not one but two excellent complete stories - that develop from nothing into great romances that produce enduring loves - mature and full - just awesome -

Great creativity - great vision and superb execution - thank you sir -

I’m sure he’d be more than a little interested. Heck, that whole side of the family had probably been exposed to the Faleena saga at somepoint. There’d be 2nd and 3rd cousins interested.

Part 2 of this story seemed (asides from not calling dad) weaker than Part 1. It seemed a bit slap-dash in comparison. Too many holes I think. Did Jack write up/publish the revised story? He could even write up a scholarly article of historical accuracy(s) being upturned by finding unexpected word of mouth family lore, or secret letters (after all the first Faleena book was predicated on well researched and official documents).

One could assume Falina’s dad and family get invited to the wedding and into the family. But that would have been nice to see. And the wedding at the Tierra Amarilla Ranch, but it might be in LA, or Stanford’s Memorial Church, or UTEP.

A little more, now that we know she lived, of Faleen’s history would heve been nice. Do they become scion’s in Los Angeles? Or remain “working class” for the next 3 generations? Or diverge, as Im sure happens in many families, becoming merchants, office workers, studio executives, warriors, migrant workers, etc.?

I think an additional 20-30 paragraphs would have rounded out this story nicely.

Because of the strength of Part 1, I’m giving the overall story 4-stars. By itself I give Part 2 3-stars.

If Jack's mom, Maria, is Lina's 4th or 5th cousin, that means that Jack is Lina's cousin. Distant cousin, I agree, but maybe that relationship should have been mentioned and dealt with when they were planning their future together.

Most entertaining story. Thanks for a moment of escape in a scary world.

I liked the story especially when I heard Mart Robbins' song Felinna. Although you elaborated the story making it a little more interesting.

Love reincarnated

5*

Good stóry;nice ending... Yeah I know folks might more of one. But it is What it is ! 👍😉😁🍻

You are a great writer, I have enjoyed your stories. Thank you for sharing 5 stars from Xluckylee