Emap Ch. 03

I am dashing around in the kitchen, Sally and Wilma telling me to slow down. Tony walks past when there is a knock at the door he looks over at me then takes my hand and drags me along to the door. When the door opens I see Constance standing there with another woman. I have to look twice to realize it is the policewoman who had volunteered to pick up the movies. Behind them I see Scott and Francis they wave as Constance takes my arm and propels me back into the kitchen.

"To be honest I was expecting to see you swelled up like a balloon already." She says in a low whisper.

"Oh don't worry I learned how to control the growth rate, I'm only three and a half weeks. I'll just give birth a month early, and don't worry she knows already, that is the lady who delivered the porn. My secret identity is turning into an open secret I think half the station knows." I say with a grin.

"I met her on the way out from delivering them." Madeleine says taking Constance in her arms. "Say did you watch the one I left, I already owned that one."

"Yes, it was weird I kept asking Tony where the man is." Constance laughs, Tony pulls me out of the kitchen again.

"Hey sit down, you are not feeding an army, the kitchen is clean." He sits me on the stools next to Wilma.

"I think Frank is going to be buying one of those Xbox things now." She says looking at him.

I look over Frank is sitting there playing football against Derek. Francis sits next to me looking a little jealous.

"My wife won't let me buy one, she swears that the kids are grown up and almost off in college no need for that nonsense."

"Francis you could just buy one and put it in your office." He smiles then shakes his head.

"I wish she visits me there."

"Do it anyway call it part of your job you are looking for obscene materials in the games. You can ban imported items I don't think she would do more than turn her nose at the games." Scott says walking past to get a coke.

"Scott where is your wife? I could have sworn Tony said she was coming."

"She is, had some meeting to get to so she is going to be fashionably late. Say I thought you were going to be wearing that black dress Wilma is always gushing about." He takes a seat next to Francis, Tony heads out to check on the coals.

"I am, just been busy making sure everything is ready." I say getting up to go into the bedroom.

"She's checked on everything being ready at least eight times in the last twenty minutes." Wilma says as Sally follows me.

I pull the robe off as Sally puts the dress on the floor, I sit then sidle over to it. With my feet firmly entrenched in carpet Sally pulls the dress up until I can grab it. I fit my arms in it then pause as she sniffs then gets the deodorant.

"You really gotta remember this, you smell fine when you go furry a lot but when you don't you gotta wear the deodorant." She scolds me as she puts it on.

"Deodorant was still something not done when I grew up." I say shivering at the chill of it.

"Excuses, excuses come on get your arms in it." I put my arms through the sleeves, Sally goes behind me to zip it. "I still can't believe you are not flexible enough to do this. Oh don't tell Derek but I've forgotten to refill my pills."

"Great, you can help me puzzle out the books your mom gave me I have to go search a lot of the words." I say giving her a hug after I am zipped.

"Huh and here I thought you knew Latin, get your shoes on, I still can't believe you would not take the sparkly black shoes from that specialty store."

"They were not as good as these, besides sequined dresses should have sequined shoes. The purple ones I wore last Sunday have stretched after a couple days wearing them, these will be fine eventually." I get up and twirl for her Sally smiles at me.

The men all gawk at me when we come back into the living room, Constance and Madeleine gawk as well. Tony gets our stand alone mirror over to me and I gawk at myself. I look really good, the dress has a plunging bodice that extends down to perhaps a hair over my belly button. The long skirt is sequined in a star pattern, the arms have sequins at the shoulder under lace. The body of the dress is sequined under more lace with a little tuft sticking out around the edge of the bodice. The real kicker are my breasts, they are barely covered enough for decency laws. When I turn to the side you can see most of me under my breasts.

"I hope the press doesn't see you like that, they will think I'm having an affair." Francis says with a sigh.

"Hell if my daughter wears that dress I'll have to kill her." Scott remarks with a whistle.

"I am married now you know." I say holding up my ringed hand.

"Yeah but did you have to have Simpson as your middle name, the clerk almost had a fit when we gave him the form to get married." Tony says smiling at the memory.

"Frank said changing your name after getting the card is hard so I figured what the hell and just took your last name to start with, they demanded a middle name."

When my radio squawks Frank reaches over and turns it off, Scott gets up from his stool and takes it to the wall to plug it in. Tony scolds me for forgetting to plug it in again then goes to cook hamburgers and hot dogs.

"Did you get the good franks or are we having the basic again?" Frank asks while Derek is doing a silly little winner dance.

"I bought a package of Sally's favorite, hard not to she was there, and I got the cheese one you mentioned along with a bacon dog."

"She made the chili last night can you imagine, home made chili cheese dogs." Sally says with a big smile.

"Wait I thought Jaguar was out and about all last night." Scott looks a little confused as he sits down again.

"I got it going then told Sally how to do it, I think the entire police force knows the recipe now." Scott laughs, Wilma grins.

"I wrote it down, I made Frank get me a scanner while you were in Brazil. He's going to post a copy to the boards tomorrow."

"Unless the radio ladies beat me to it, I think some of them were copying it as well" Frank gets up and goes out back to help Tony with the grilling.

"There is one thing I don't get, why did you get a coal grill?" Constance asks looking outside at the bag of charcoal leaning against the far wall of the terrace.

"That was Tony, said his grandpa always barbequed using coal and it tastes better."

"With Mesquite charcoal it will I agree, though there really is no beating filling a tank once a summer instead of buying a bag every couple weeks." Wilma says grinning again.

"One a month, we are trading on who hosts remember."

"Say are you going to cook that roast on the grill?" Madeleine asks sitting down with a coke.

"Nope slow cooking that tonight in the morning I'll turn it into sandwich meat." Madeleine licks her lips, so does Wilma.

"I have the recipe and directions, Derek promised he would buy me a meat cutter." Sally holds up a notepad with a big smile.

"I think I'll have to beg lunch off you, that roast smells divine." Constance says with a sigh.

"OK we are almost done out here, load the table." Tony says from the glass door.

I grab the two bowls of ambrosia, the small one is the powdered sugar version for Frank and mostly Frank. Sally after getting her mom to sit and stay gets the coleslaw, Constance grabs out the plate of lettuce, onion, tomato and sauerkraut. I get the mayonnaise, mustard, and a sweet relish Sally had picked out. When Tony and Frank are carrying in the platters of hamburgers and hot dogs I get out the plates. Sally gets the forks and knives, Wilma is just groaning at what we are using.

"You don't have to use the fine dishes and silverware for us." She says as she gets out two cokes.

"We didn't, we only have the china and this silverware, I didn't grow up rich so two sets of dishes is a foreign concept." Sally laughs Wilma just looks up in consternation.

"Don't worry dear, Emap just has values older than all of us combined. I was very glad you made me buy the fine china, well eventually." Frank says taking a coke from Wilma.

"Do we have to trade barbeque spots? No offense Wilma but damn this is better than I get at home." Scott says with a grin. "Though please, nobody say that to my wife I like having balls."

"Speaking of your wife where is she? I'd like to meet a woman who can stand living with you." Wilma says, Frank looks at her then slides under the table.

"Speaking of her are you sure she is coming, I mean you have been here for an hour already." Derek says loading out a hamburger.

"Yes I am sure, she is very eager to meet a goddess, why we didn't get here until an hour ago, waiting for her to finish with the meeting. She called all pissed off said to go on she will be by ASAP." Scott says looking at the hamburgers and hot dogs, finally he decides on a hot dog with chili cheese.

"Oh my god, my daughter is having a chili cheese dog." Frank says looking at Sally, she grins then takes a bite.

"Yeah to bad she's not having one of the good dogs." I just had to tease her on her pick of hot dogs while I am loading up a chili cheese dog with onion and sauerkraut.

"This chili is to die for, you gotta get me a copy of the recipe." Constance says around bites of her chili cheese dog.

"I'll give Tony a copy for you in the morning during his report." Frank says around his chili cheese dog.

"I'll get a copy don't worry, I'm not much on cooking but I do know good food." Madeleine gets out around her dog.

Scott's phone rings, he pulls it out talks on it a second then listens, he gives directions on how to find the building then hangs up. Frank's phone rings, Wilma groans as he pulls it out, he listens for a minute looks at me then says they can handle it without. When he hangs up he goes back to eating then looks around and sighs.

"Some yahoo swiped a tank, he's driving it on the coastal and they wanted to know if Jaguar would come stop it."

"I have no idea how I would, even if I do get inside of it." I say with a groan, Tony laughs.

"The rumor is you can cut through anything with your claws." Francis says while getting a hamburger and more ambrosia.

"Totally not true, I can cut up cars because they are not really metal anymore. Glass I can't I have to punch it, I have the same limitations as your basic cat."

"You left a claw mark in the sidewalk after meeting me." Tony reminds me before getting a hamburger.

"That hand is still not sharp, it's possible to cut up concrete just takes a lot of cuts and a loss of claw length."

"My leg got two sets of claw marks." Frank says getting laughs all around.

"That reminds me, Tony how do you avoid getting claw marks in you or the furniture." Wilma asks getting more ambrosia and coleslaw.

"He scratches my ears in his car or at Antonio's over the counter."

There is a knock at the door, Scott gets up to get it I go with him. Behind the door is a tiny woman maybe five feet tall, Scott gives her a big hug and a kiss. She shakes my hand then continues on in to get introduced around. I am the last to get formally introduced with her, Amber kicks Scott for that.

"I think we will need a bigger table." I sigh when she takes the last seat on the table.

"I was thinking the same thing earlier, Sally is gonna search for good ones online while we're working." Tony says as he passes over the ambrosia to Amber.

"Oh nice idea, would you mind a real wood table? I'm always scared this glass is going to break." Sally perks up at that.

"I can find meeting tables, usually they are about twelve feet, shouldn't run more than five hundred. They claim to be real wood."

"Does that include chairs or are those separate?" I just had to ask that one.

"Oh chairs are separate I think." Sally looks a little sad after saying that.

"Better question, how would we get a twelve foot table up here?" Tony asks with a tired expression.

"You are forgetting Francis is the mayor, he can assign a helicopter to land it on the terrace." Scott says, Amber giggles then kicks him.

"Then everyone would know Jaguar lives here. Scott do you remember how much that woodworker was saying it would cost to make us a big wood table."

"Oh let me think I believe it was four hundred for the table, he didn't do chairs so you would have to buy a set elsewhere."

"I can buy another set of these chairs, they look nice enough." Tony says putting the last of the ambrosia on my plate.

"I would rather have real wood chairs honestly. But if they are expensive I can live with these." I sigh then start eating the ambrosia.

"Can I take this bowl of ambrosia home with me? Wilma only makes it on barbeque night." Frank asks hopefully.

"Sure go ahead, I think we have a tub of ice cream neither of us likes anybody wants it free to a good home." Constance perks up then goes and looks.

"Wait rainbow sherbet neither of you likes? That is just so weird." She says as she comes and sits down with it.

"Tony doesn't like sherbet I remember rainbow being graded layers, not a hodge podge."

"Yeah I see your point there, but I like it so I am gonna take it home if it lasts that long." Constance says as she produces a spoon, Madeleine gets a spoon out of the kitchen and helps her.

"I thought you were going to make a mousse for us." Derek says before his phone rings.

"I was but between Tony and his desires and not getting up until eleven I didn't have enough time. Next Sunday I'll make mousse and ambrosia, course Frank you gotta promise to get good dogs." Frank nods then grins big picturing the mousse I'm sure.

Derek is grimacing as he listens to the phone, Frank's phone rings then Scott's phone. Amber and Wilma groan Sally is looking about worried, I look at Tony, he nods then unzips me. I hurry back to the bedroom drop the lovely dress kick off the shoes then pull the panties off. I go feral in the hallway Sally and Wilma are already cleaning up for me. Madeleine is heading for the door Constance and Amber are sitting at the table looking a little confused.

"OK here is the situation that run away tank wasn't just some yahoo, the tank is now sitting in the docks. It seems to have a full payload of munitions, which means main cannon can and has fired. The naval base doesn't have anything to take out a tank where it is, the guard is being slow. The closest actual military base is twenty minutes by jet we've lost two cops already I'd rather not wait that long." Frank says Scott nods along with him.

"Does the guard have hand held anti tank? I can grab one on my way."

"We have a patrolman getting them now they are not that simple anymore apparently. What we need you to do is simply keep the tanks attention you can try and go in it if you want."

"It sounds like a trap honestly, where did they get the tank and how do they know how to use it." Tony says looking worried.

"I think a better question is why the dock, they must have a reason for the dock, perhaps drugs and they want to get them out." Amber says as she comes over and grabs Scott.

"I agree with you both it's just we gotta get rid of this tank." Frank says looking a little defeated.

"Where is the guard base, I'll go there first make sure the patrolman got the weapon. Get the naval base to launch some scouts there might be a ship elsewhere dropping drugs." I say heading over to my radio, the battery in it is not charged enough I grab up the one on the charger and switch them.

"Hey both of you stay safe." Tony says holding me tight.

I look up at him, bring my human face back then kiss him, strong and hard. When he lets go I caress his face.

"You stay safe I'm going to need a father for this bundle of joy." He smiles at me.

Scott points out where the base is I wave then dash out the glass door. With a quick leap I clear the wall while I am falling I reach down and turn the radio on. After making my tumble landing I orient myself then take off. When I notice the radio is a little quiet I turn it up to hear Frank over the radio.

"Navy has reported two scouts up, nothing in one hundred miles of L.A. unregistered. Jaguar you may like to know there is one freighter due for customs inspection it came in this morning."

"Frank, has the patrolman made it to the base, I'm staring at it no lights, no movement."

The base is laid out before me I'm atop the closest building, a bar. I'm hunkered down low, my night vision is like a cat fairly close ranged. I don't see anything, I also don't smell death, which is a good thing except there should be lights on, I think.

"No he is still a minute out according to him, wait for him and use his car. The tank is stationary and not firing, at this time."

"Tell him to turn his lights on, and only his lights I hate those sirens." I hear laughter in the background over the radio.

I switch the radio to the regular channel when I see the lights coming. When I drop down I scare the crap out of a couple men leaving the bar, they dash back inside. I step out into the street to flag down the patrol car he stops and puts it in park rolling down his window.

"I hope this base is supposed to be not lit up. In any event you go first I'll try and get to any shooters before you are full of holes." I say to a really quite attractive man, he nods then looks ahead.

"Supposed to be lit up like the fourth of July in point of fact, be glad this is a guard base, most of the heavy shit was moved to the base that stayed open. Do me a favor, grab the submachine gun in my trunk and give it to me." His voice is smooth and sweet like honey with just a hint of strength, his trunk pops open.

With the submachine gun passed to him we move forward, the base is rather typical of army bases. There is a guard station at the entrance then a lot of nothing. I am looking to the sides as we move forward so I don't see the shooter until he fires. The sharp crack gets me looking I spot him atop a tall building, his bullet takes out the red light atop the patrol car. The patrolman speeds up to get his car out of the fire I speed up as well at an angle to the shooter.

The shooter puts three bullets into the concrete behind me before he clicks his rifle. When he opens fire with full auto I skid to a stop then move in a different direction, right at him. I reach the building then go around the corner to climb luckily it is a brick building, plenty of handholds. By the time the shooter realizes I am not below him, I am on the building with him. As he is turning to shoot at me I kick him right in the side of his head, he slumps down, then rolls right off the side of the building. When I drop off after the shooter I find the patrolman kneeling next to him feeling at his neck.

"Did I kill him?" The patrolman looks up at me then shakes his head.

"There was another one, I shot him we need to get an ambulance here and my radio is out." He looks around then moves toward a smaller building marked Armory.

I check my radio to find I'm not getting a signal either I fiddle with it as I follow him. The armory looks terrible, boxes broken and parts of things scattered all over. A large number of the rifles are gone the patrolman leads the way through the mess to two doors. Inside are more boxes he looks through them before opening two, he pulls out some rockets and a strange looking thing.

"My radio is getting no signal, must be interference in the base." I say as he turns to leave, he sighs then keeps going.

We are both nervous as we leave the armory, looking everywhere as we move quickly to his car. He puts the rockets and as he calls it launcher into the front seat of his patrol car. While he moves around to get in his car I do a quick search of the outside of the other buildings, a rather surprising number of them yet no houses. When he honks, I race back to find him halfway to the entrance. At the entrance our radio's start working again.