All Comments on 'Endangered Ch. 03'

Loving the story so far.

Excellent chapter........loved it.......can't wait for more.......as for the incest bit....write it like you want to.....its your story.....personally......it is just logical that it would happen and Susan would be another of his familiars......just my .02....:)

as an aside........maybe drinking some of Chis's blood would allow his vampire guardian to get rid of her blood pact with the drow........just food for thought.....:)

"There, I hope you enjoyed it. Please give me some feedback."

Umm fuck you? No seriously... what do you mean hope, there is no hope, it was fucking fantastic! I have no doubt people could find fault here and there, but going into this story with FANTASY in mind, well, FAN-TAS-TIC...

You want feedback? How about the fact that I am hooked to this story like I am the ones written by Intrepid_Fate... As long as you dont abandon all your readers like he seems to have... (I check his last CH comments on his story's, and his BIO weekly, a year with nothing sadly), sounds bad, but you have made the list!

Great work, I will check back weekly, but in that re-guard, what is your "BALLPARK" estimation of release's? I'm not asking for something to stick to, seeing as fantastic story writing like this is worth of sale (seriously, I would pay), just something to look forward to!

Thanks!

Thanks for the great feedback. It's much appreciated.

At this stage, chapters will slow down. They're getting longer, taking longer to write and longer to edit. I have a plan for about 9 in the series. Hopefully I can get one out every 1.5 - 2 months though I can't promise anything.

I'm not sure that making Susan a familiar would technically count as incest, because they're not biologically related, but I can see the idea behind it. It is really good, chapters this long obviously take time, I think most of us would rather have longer, better chapters than short, decent chapters. It's coming along very nicely; can't wait to see what happens to Lillian (wink, wink). Good work. Keep it up.

heh....what can I say....you've got a great storyline developing.....you've got me HOOKED......i'll be checkin in regularly for any and all updates......:)

well done I absolutely love this series so far. its well thought out and very creative I look forward to many more chapters

Looking forward to the next chapter.

love this story, cant wait for the next chapter. its very good that it has some lenght to it.

Great story so far, keep it coming!

I Also agree with literknight, it may be taboo with the whole adult/guardian angle but it wouldn't be incest. Can't wait to read the next installment.

Your story is strong enough to stand without a coupling paragraph. Remember sometimes the most erotic part of a story is the readers imagination.

Because of two things:

1. It technically doesn't qualify.

2. It's a lot simpler (and probably less of a headache in the long run) to just put a disclaimer at the top of the next chapter.

Ideally, you'd also make it so that nothing plot-significant happens in that scene, (so that people who are squeamish about that can skip it without losing anything in the reading experience), but that's entirely up to you -- if your writing style needs it to be plot, then too bad for the squeamish.

This is an amazing work. I absolutely love the story line. Please continue the story in the way that YOU want it to be! If a FEW people cry.....oh well. This is Your story and I for one am very happy that you are posting it here. Thank you for your time and efforts.

As others before me have already said I wouldn't change the category, the main theme remainder the same. Apart from that I would suggest you against putting a sex scene in every chapter as a rule, it just may be incompatible with the story flow; go with it!

Can't wait for next installament

Every chapter is better and better! I love the longer chapter as well. It gives me more time to get into the story instead of little sips. The story idea is very creative.

I can't wait to read what you come up with next.

Thank you for your time and efforts and for posting those here = )

Can't wait for chapter 4. :)

Bring on chapter 4

Awesome - cant wait for more - love the story as much as the sex!

You are one of my two favourite'ed authors :-)

You have talent. Not everybody can tell a story so compellingly. Keep it up

First of I've got to say, I LOVE the story so far. It's got great sex, great humor, and even explains the physics enough to be interesting but not a textbook. Not to mention how obsessed I am with dragons. But I did think I should post about you afterword. specifically the part were you say the next chapter will contain incest. Now I could be wrong, in which case you can disregard anything else I say, but If i am correct and this incest is between Chris and Susan, then it's not incest, and should not be placed under I/T. Didn't want to be a dick or anything, but I just thought I should chime in. Regardless of my obsessive attention to detail, I am certain the next chapter will be great regardless of it's tags or what ever morally gray areas may be contained.

All the feedback has been awesome. It looks like the majority of people want chapter 4 to stay in SF/F so I guess I'll do that. I know it's technically not incest by blood but it's incest at heart, between a two people who consider each other mother and son.

Anyway, chapter 4 is the longest yet so it's still several weeks away. Thanks again for the votes and comments.

Cheers,

LTPC

Damn. I still have to wait a few more weeks. That suck. But I definatley do prefer the longer chapters. There's nothing worse than waiting a month for a one page chapter. So if it means longer chapters than take your time so you can deliver use the best erotic story EVER!

A truly Awesome and enchanting story

The LOVE between Chris, Annabel and Susan is what makes the story incredible for me

Sex is not as important as the plot of the story

Hope that lillian gets out of her blood bond with narlaikis

I hope that chris becomes more powerful to save his dear ones

Attempt to update faster please, this is a story I regularly check to see if it has been updated, keep up the good work.

Superb plot

update soooooon....

Plzzzzz..........

"I like this story. This is a nice fucking story." ~ Vaas <3

Anyways, im liking the way this story is progressing. Im assuming that he will bang his mum and eventually the vampire. But, i would like to see some more magic in between. Good thinking on the living tattoo, wonderful idea indeed. Anyways, I'm guessing most of the readers will read anything you post, so the only thing ill say is:

Good luck, and have fun writing, you sure are good at it! :)

..... Seriously? Awesome work

Loved it. Can't wait for the next chapter

I'm really enjoying this story. It seems to me like Amanda will be causing more trouble in the future. It's hard to say where Reyla falls, but she's definitely living up to the bitchy Drow reputation. Lillian is rather interesting, but with that blood bond constraining her free will, she's not much of an ally. Totally love the magic tattoo! Very well described, from static picture to an intelligent under the skin magic being... who'll even bite nipples at the right time. Nice. Looking forward to Susan getting ensnared by Chris, despite himself, next chapter!

Excellent plot so far. Can't wait for an update!

It's not often one comes across a new author worthy of praise, but you have well earned it. Easy to read, great word flow, vivid imagery, and an interesting plot. All wrapped up in one fantastical story. Well done.

Please please please PLEASE dont do a Intrepid Fate and be one of those amazing writers that leave us hanging. Your story is great so far very excited for the next installment

OMG...absolutely amazing story.

Since it's about 2 months now: May I ask when you plan to release the next chapter?

Happy new year and keep up your good work!

I whole heartedly agree with Hethen129 Please continue this story don't lave us waiting I enjoy this story so much and want te read more

Keep up the amazing work. I really like the plot

My favorite series so far...keep up the amazing work!

My comment on ch 2 called it (I/T<<but not really>>), kind of you to warn readers for whom that might be an issue. 'Tis but one of a variety of themes possible for your story...

As promised, I finished (what you've written of) the series so far: VERY impressive! You have a flair for detailed descriptions, like taking the time to write about the suite's dark heartwood and light pastels: it was a nice way to slow the reader down. Additionally, you seem to have a vision (or at least a focus) for the series, I am enjoying the journey, so far.

This is one of a damn few stories I've read during which I actually lost track of time; a divinely wicked, disorienting, and delightful experience. As you've been good enough to warn us of upcoming direction in the story, I will warn you: You have set a high bar for yourself. We, your readers, recognize your talent. I truly hope that YOU turn out to be as gifted as the dragon about whom you write. Like Chris, I hope you seek out wise counsel and pace yourself as you grow your tale. We will beg, tease, mock, and cajole you to release your work before you're ready (don't do it).

You also have LOTS of ground to explore, a variety of side stories to fill in detail, if you wish, and clearly, an enraptured audience. Keep up the good work; we'll be very (im)patiently waiting!

Hi,

Thanks for all the feedback and votes, it's great to hear your thoughts. I never expected my story to be popular at all. Sorry it's taking this long but chapter 4 is with the editor and I don't have an ETA for you. Please have patience (the death threat made me laugh for about five minutes). I'm not about to drop the story, I've got a plan for a sequel even.

Anyway, have an awesome new year and all that good stuff.

Cheers,

LTPC

You deserve all the praise, a well written story like this is truly rare, great to hear that you are almost done with chapter 4

loved it...

I just found your work today, and I have not even been able to tear myself away long enough to make dinner! At three chapters it was short enough to read in one sitting, but way too short.

I love that the little tattoo dragon was able to envenom Annabel to make her fertile! I'm wondering/hoping that such an enormous dose of magic might bleed off a little and allow Annabel some magic abilities. Please tell me that she finds out just how wicked she has become when she absolutely fries Amanda to a not-coming-back-from-that cinder!

I don't care about the I/T thing with his nurse/nanny/adopted mom...I'm sure it will be hot. I look forward to Lillian joining the brood and having Chris break the blood pact (And yes, I know that's supposed to be impossible!). I'm expecting more great storyline, awesome battles, and plenty of hot steamy sex! Maybe even a cat fight for the fans as Annabel enforces her position as first female of the brood?

The bottom line is that I want to read the rest of this story awesome story, so please find a way to get it out of your head and into written words we can all enjoy.

Really liked your work

hope you'll keep this up

I'm glad to hear it'll be continued. I'm certainly enjoying it. Thanks for writing!

GREAT just fantastic although I suspect your editor may have gone absent? Please KEEP THIS GOING!!!! Woot! :D loving the magic and the beings and the.... well the EVERYTHING really :P sorry I seem to be shouting with excitement

5 stars all day

These are very good and i hope you dont just quite writing :( its been almost 3 months.

LTPC's not at fault for the delay. It's my fault.

Awesome story as it stands now, will be even better with the addition of the upcoming chapters.

It does take quite a bit at the moment for the stories to be accepted (Currently around 6 days) so if he's posted it somewhat recently we won't see it for a week.

Something to keep in mind.

This Author has a gift. Please please continue this epic story.

I marathoned this entire series in an afternoon. I completely abandoned any hope of doing any of my own writing and lost myself in your world.

I echo all of the other fans in the comment section when I say that your story is fantastic.

Please, post soon.

Alex

You are an amazing writer. I have literally looked once a day to see if another chapter has been posted yet. When I saw your little Bio update I was completely relieved :) Looking forward to the next section!

Editor please hurry up with the editing I can't wait to read the next chapter

:(

Loved it. I can't wait to read the next part so please don't take too long in finishing it up. Love the concept and the characters as well. Really want to see more of this world as well. Lot of promise in here and I am excited to see where you take it!!

One of the best stories on Lit! Please keep it up!

Love the story, seems like it is going to be great. But next chapter is taking waaaay too long to be released. It would be nice if you could update your bio more often detailing what is happening and why we cannot yet read it.

Thank you for sharing your excellent words with the world.

very good just keep it coming fast

I guess the best thing about this delay is that chapter 5 shouldnt be far away

C'mon chapter 4!

Hey Noble you have your own stories you need to get back on lol. I am still waiting for the next chapter in our Celestial series

Is there an update of when the next chapter will be released.

Please dont be another Intrepid fate.

Sorry to say this but I am tired of waiting. You keep telling that the next chapter will be here soon, but, when is that soon ???! I know I am being mean but starting off a very good series and then holding out like this will just make you loose more fans than you can gain. Rather than that, it would be better if you put the 'release' on hold for a longer time, write up a few chapters and then release them during a descent interval of time.

I have been a fan since the start, but if you keep delaying then I probably will forget about your stories and stop checking back soon.

i have decided to give one star rating to all the abandoned stories (only abandoned stories, stories with conclusions are safe) in the top list. I would like to read from other more active writers and would like to see them in the top list....

I loved the story so far and look forward to chapter 4. I hope the long time with the editor means chapter 5 will be out soon after chapter 4! I do hope that chapter 5 will use a faster editor though. I'm impatient but would rather wait for a quality story than rushing out chapters to satisfy your fans.

I'm sorry to let you down like this but I'm placing the posting of chapter 4 back in the unknown category for the moment. I've made a bio post explaining my situation more thoroughly if you're interested. Chapter four will post eventually, even if I do need to find another editor.

I can sympathise with your frustration about this but to those who seem to have an overdeveloped sense of entitlement, here's my reply. I do this for free, for my own enjoyment. All comments and votes do to my story is influence how I feel about it.

I think this post indicates fairly strongly that I haven't abandoned the story but once again, sorry about the wait, I didn't think it would take this long.

It doesn't matter how good of a job your editor can do if he is not willing to get it done. Look for a new editor. He isn't the only person who can do a good job editing and a lot of people would love to be a part of your writing... My 2 cents. Thanks for the update. I look forward to reading more. Try not to get to upset by immature people acting entitled to your work.

"Try not to get to upset by immature people acting entitled to your work."

I agree with this. Thank you for the update on your story (or lack of update) *grin*

Just updating your bio is enough for me to know that it is 'still in the works' and

not abandoned.

Hopefully your editor(s) come through for you (us) soon. Please keep writing this

awesome tale.

Bartholomew had the potential to be one of my favorite characters, as long as he leaves the nice vampire lady alone.

As long as (personally) I know you haven't simply left the site, I'm happy to wait (obviously happier to not wait) for a good story. I hope we don't manage to drive you away from this community, I think we want the opposite. At this point my advice is to weigh the satisfaction you get for having your story polished and nice against how much you'd like to get the stories out; if you trust your editor, give them a bit more time, especially if you don't mind when the stories get out. I hope they come out soon, but I can understand time delays happen.

I understand that you want the finished product to be good but now that I know the chapters are ready I just want to read them regardless of it's quality. Please try and convince your editor to finish with thier chapter and possiable give chapter five to another editor to work on while we are waiting then realease it abit after chapter four.

One should be prepared to wait for a good story

I'm happy so long as you keep writing

I suggest you wait for your editor

plase keep updatibg your bio

please notify if you are moving your work to a different site

try wattpad.com if u want to move to a different site

Please don't leave because some people are being bitchy. It'll be finished when it's finished. Hopefully your editor will sort out whatever issues he/she's having. But if you cave in and you do bail out, please let everyone know if/where you'll be posting this story anywhere else.

Love your work. Can't wait for next chapter. Ignore the haters

Xx

Bring on chapter 4 :)

Thank you for posting an update on your bio. The thing about forums and story sites is that something can happen to a member and no one would no what's going on. So I know I as well as well as others appreciate even the smallest update so we know you are still around. Those updates really help.

Couldn't stop reading it, eagerly awaiting chapter 4 ;)

Dose any one no why ch 4 is not there he said he post it but it not there

To the last post:

It takes a day or so for the story to be up once it was submitted. Its gotta be checked for and updated to LTPC's profile.

Pretty sure the author meant "Submitted" when he said "Posted."

And it can take more than a day or two; check the "Author's Hangout" forum on the Bulletin Board for the site admin's most up-to-date estimation of how long it takes a story to post once it has been submitted.

"Current Story Approval Time" is saying about 2 days right now. Be patient.

I really enjoyed the original ideas and the creativity used here! Bravo!

On a side note, I feel Chris and Annabel's dialogue is a little amateurish which is strange because all other dialogue is fantastic

This is a tremendous, very original story. A minor quibble. You sometimes confuse homonyms and near homonyms. Examples I noticed: affect - effect, lead - led, right - rite. You (and your proof readers) might want to be on the lookout for these kind of problems.

That has to be one of the best chapters I've read! I read a lot since I retired and this is truly a wonderful work of fantasy.

.

Oops I put my question in the title

Great story, and I definitely intended to read more, but won't because of the incest in the next chapter. I appreciate the warning!

or questions?

Does Bartholomew biting her at the time of their mutual orgasm count the same as if it had been Chris? In other words, will she be pregnant?

Your comments/warning about incest seem to be inappropriate. As far as we know, Chris has no living blood relatives. And Susan herself reaffirmed that she is not a member of his physical family.

This thing with the live dragon tattoe was great, I like how childish it acts. Also can't wait to find out how he protects her, I mean he seems cool but how is he going to stop an attached? I hope there not just going to burn up like Lillian, not that that would be a major problem with the story but I'm kinda hoping you think of something more creative.

PS great story

Sorry, but bringing everything up I have on her.

She is scared of violence, gets weepy when to happy, or sad, or scared, or excited, or feels undesired (when chris is sleeping). afraid of needles and bugs. whines and wails about human treatment in Being society (ignoring the way humans treat animals) is so naive is rather silly, (glosses over the BLOOD in a BLOOD box) and frankly is a little bitch.

Yeesh

JC

Doin very well. Good story, lovely teen sex, good "Being" system, exciting potential antagonist, . : . ;-)

great 3rd installment or 3rd Chapter I would like to see him hook up with Susan so looking forward to that. Hope he keeps scarring the hell out of that night elf leader or whatever she is Id like to see him rattle her so bad she wouldn't never think about making him a slave or toy of hers.

Is this really your first series?

It's very good. One of the top ones I've come across. And I read a lot.

Keep it going. :)

-V

Have the Ink used in tattooing familliars be magical, only visible to beings and other familiars, not ordinary humans. This might also simplify things when Annabel visits her parents.

Really enjoying what I have read so far. Love the living dragon tattoo/mark. He's sounds so adorable. I want one lol.

Great story, fun characters, wild and imaginative magic - it has it all :)

J

I love this story so far.

I feel that this comment, after 94 others, is a little superfluous, but man - this is good so far. You've set the bar pretty high, and it's going to be tough to maintain it, but here's hoping! Love Bartholomew btw.

love the name for the guardian dragon on Annabel... what a great story, cant wait to read the next chapter.

How clever!! Bartholomew is a great name😊😊😊

Dude this is one of the best fantasy stories since The Missing Dragon by Liam's.

Awsome work. Hope you continue with it. Really fucking enjoyable.

This has to be one of the best multi-chapter story arcs I've read on this site!

I just finished binging the series and am eager to see more! Glad to see that you are on Patreon and have signed on as a supporter to keep abreast of the progress toward your next chapter! Keep up the great storytelling!

Love this story please continue this as a saga and start writing other stories as well please.