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Even More Porn Reviews

byFlashlight7.5©

What's better than porn? Free porn! What follows is a review of four films from VCA Pictures I landed for free! They are all films from the 80's and 90's, and first up is a piece of work from the ever-odd Jim Holliday.

Pajama Party X - Part 2 (VCA Pictures) starring: Alicia Rio, Brittany O'Connell, Celeste, Crystal Wilder, Dyanna Lauren, Kylie Ireland, Leena, Misty Rain, Nina Hartley, Porsche Lynn, Sahara Sands, Sarah Jane Hamilton, Sheena, Summer Knight, Lynden Johnson, Tiffany Mynx, Sabrina Scott, Rebecca Bardoux, Gerry Pike, Michael J. Coxx, and Vince Voyeur. The film starts off with Holliday's shadow projected on a wall in his lame attempt to compare himself to Alfred Hitchcock. He nervously smokes a cigarette and, in an attempt to be witty, calls me a "bonehead" for missing part one. He fails. We are treated to scenes from the first Pajama Party X film while the opening credits roll.

The only things that stand out here are Tiffany Mynx's awful 80's hair and Nina Hartley briefly pounding someone with a strap-on. Back to Holliday, and he now calls the film Pajama Party Live X 2, while the girls call it Pajama Party 2. The film consists mostly of clips from a show that was on one of the satellite porn networks. On it, people could call into the show and engage in phone sex with the stars and direct them to do things to each other. The first scene involves Alicia Rio having phone sex with some guy while Tiffany Mynx is eating away at Sarah Jane (a redhead; so we get a mix of blond, black, and red). Tiffany is soon pumping a purple vibrator into both women, but Sarah licks Alicia to orgasm. Tiffany gives some analingus to Sarah, and there is a nice close-up of them kissing (insert "Ewww" sound here). Alicia also drools into Sarah's mouth on command, and then humps her before shoving a beaded necklace inside her. Tiffany, meanwhile, is fucking her own ass. She cums. The scene ends. We are left feeling unsatisfied.

Next up is some guy who looks like Shawn Michaels, the former WWF heavyweight champion, as a security guard who gets in trouble when Sergeant Stacked Redhead comes into the office and finds him eating a sandwich. He has to make up for it by banging her. At one point, she slaps him in the face with one mammoth breast, causing him to yell, "Holy shit!" He's not well hung, and sounds brainless. She has fun with him, and there's a facial, but the scene is very bland.

Scene three has Dyanna Lauren talking to some lucky bastard on the phone while Celeste is eating her. Dyanna's hair is huge! Celeste gets her ass eaten, and also gets a vibrator (complete with vibrating rabbit attachment) in her puss and ass. They both suck on the vibe, which I always find to be hot, and Celeste is soon humping Dyanna's face. "Let me taste my cum!" Celeste yells, and she does.

Next we have a woman coming to the make-up man, Vince Voyeur, on a porn set. She needs a pussy trim. "You've got a nice little pussy there," he claims, and also has to defend himself from accusations of homosexuality due to his chosen profession. What better way to do that than screw some porn star with a pierced nostril and nipple on opposite sides? "I love your balls," she says as she goes down on him. "They love you too," he replies, causing me to laugh. There are some great shots of her sucking his cock (she looks great with her mouth full), and some tit fucking, but they don't last anywhere near long enough. She's hot while watching herself in a mirror and getting doggy fucked. He sprays on her ample bosom.

The following scene is a short one in which Porsche Lynn talks to a guy named George on the phone (although he can barely get a word in), while Nina Hartley spanks her upon request. Tiffany Mynx takes over the phone while Porsche, Nina, and Misty all pass ice cubes back and forth from their mouths.

What would a porn film be without a pizza guy scene? A pizza guy dressed in a chicken outfit delivers (in more ways than one) to a blond woman in a red nightie. She looks off-set from time to time, and we can see the shadows of the crew on the wall of the fake house. He sucks on her toes in the wheelbarrow position, and sprays cum on her trimmed snatch. This mercifully ends, and we are treated to a seventeen woman orgy. Sadly, the camera doesn't stay anywhere long enough. Highlights are Sarah Jane cumming with Dyanna Lauren, Alicia Rio taking six fingers in her puss, Brittany and Misty French kissing, and Nina Hartley having a big orgasm. This is an early attempt at gonzo filmmaking. It doesn't quite succeed.

My next film for review is Andrew Blake's Desire (VCA Pictures) starring: Racquel Darrian, Savannah, Zara Whites, Sandra Scream, Amber Lynn, Jeanna Fine, Casey Williams, Nina Alexander, Viviana, Jennifer Kingsley, Capri Danell, Tera Heart, Ashley Lauren, Marc Wallice, Derrick Lane, Peter North, Blake West, Jon Dough, and Mark Francis. I enjoy Blake's work, although I have yet to see most of his films from the last six years. Like most of his movies, Desire revolves around art.

Zara White owns an art gallery, and the film is made up of fantasies she has while finding new stuff to display. The voice narrating the film does not belong to Zara, by the way. She narrates the first scene with monotone dirty talk as she dreams of Jon Dough and Savannah going at it. It's intercut with Zara masturbating with a paintbrush. Savannah looks beautiful as he eats her, and she had great fake boobs, so how can he be flaccid as she sucks him? He cums on her ass.

Onto "The Staircase", where Amber Lynn and Zara watch Jeanna Fine (pre-boob job) and a busty Latina screw on a staircase (what a surprise!). Jeanna is in control (I've heard that she used to be a full-time dominatrix), with her fetish boots and horrible earrings, as she eats this woman out. Zara and Amber play with and suck on some vibrators, but what the hell is Peter North doing here? He crawls in with his sunglasses on and is soon giving the busty Latina some doggie action on the steps. They switch to reverse cowgirl, and Peter looks like he's weighing two melons as he balances her tits in his hands. There is, of course, a big facial at the end.

Zara is now at poolside somewhere with Marc Wallice. There is lots of footage of him eating her puss while she leans against a wall. She lovingly sucks him, and then humps the head of his dick before getting some doggie action against the aforementioned wall. She rides him cowgirl-style while he's halfway in the pool, which must've been hell on his shoulders. He cums on her flat belly.

We get a nice scene with Racquel Darrian and some lucky so-and-so at a fetish fashion shoot. She looks great as she sucks him, and he's ready to blow any second, judging by his clenched fists. There's some doggie style hair pulling, more screwing on stairs, and a good cumshot on her chest and face. Next is a lame scene involving Zara and some guy with a bad mullet who looks like a member of Styx painting these two cute girls. Zara also gets some paint splashed on her. There's some cunnilingus, and Mr. Mullet jacks off.

Randy "Blake" West, dressed like a country singer, has sex with Zara and the busty Latina while Amber watches and fucks herself (looking great as she does so). There's some double head for Randy, wheelbarrow and doggie for Zara, and tit fucking and a facial for the Latina. Next, Sanda Scream does a great strip tease and ends up groping with another hot blond. There's lots of hot tit grinding on a couch, and great breast and pussy worship by Sandra, but this scene is painfully short. It could've been the best of the film.

It ends with Zara in a Dracula cape having sex with Savannah. Zara does her with a vibrator, but there's no pussy eating! Savannah gives Zara the vibe treatment, but ends it just as it's getting hot. "I guess art really does imitate life," Zara says as the film ends. If this film is anything to go by, I haven't been to the right art galleries. This is one of Blake's worst efforts. Stick with Night Trips 1 and 2 instead.

Dirty Books is a short but sweet VCA film starring: Ashlyn Gere, Mike Horner (sans cheesy mustache), Tiffany Million, Ona Zee, Jonathan Morgan, and Kelly O'Dell. Ashlyn inherits a bookstore and, at the suggestion of her accountant (Jonathan Morgan), sells porn to keep it afloat. She gets hot checking out porn mags and bangs Morgan - the man who looks like a doll - while claiming that her screenwriter husband, Horner, doesn't give her enough sex. You can't help but notice Ashlyn's big earrings, but they are soon forgotten as she's sucking his balls. There are great shots of her face as he fucks her in the wheelbarrow position. She dives for his crotch and gets a sloppy facial (he didn't appear to be quite ready). In the store, we can see Ashlyn on a poster for Chameleons (Not the Sequel). Tiffany Million comes in, and is funny as a nervous customer. She decides to preview The Opening of Misty Beethoven, and grabs a vibrator and dildo on the way. Her pussy is shaved bald and she's got some nice guns (she keeps her body in prime shape). She is soon plunging both toys into her, humping the dildo on a stool, and putting the dildo and two fingers in her ass.

Ashlyn and Mike share some bedtime, and we have another man flaccid as a porn star is sucking him. How does this happen? It's great, wet, slurpy head too! He drills her with her legs in the air, and she pulls a dildo out of a drawer. He freaks out and runs away. Back at the store, Ona Zee is doing a signing. She finds out Horner is a screenwriter and invites him over to compare scripts (a variation on "Come on up and I'll show you my etchings."). She, of course, does him, while Ashlyn interviews Kelly O'Dell for an assistant manager job. The scene cuts back and forth between both couples. Kelly eats Ashlyn upon a stepladder. Meanwhile, Ona is deep throating Horner. Ashlyn happily eats Kelly, Ona cums in the doggie position (with great dirty talk too) and he cums on her ass. Ashlyn and Kelly are grinding tits and fooling around on a desk when Mike shows up! He must be the Flash. Double head for him! He eats Kelly to orgasm and then joyfully goes pneumatic on her with one leg over his shoulder. She cums three times. He doggy fucks Ashlyn, but Kelly looks bored until he unloads on her chest. "Don't judge experiences until you've had them first hand," Ashlyn says. I agree. This is a good film, and fairly unknown. Rent it if you can find it.

East Meets West is the first part of a series of VCA films involving hot women from the Far East. This one stars: Charlie, Jill Kelly, Yoko, Momo, Yui, Billy Glide, Nick East, Sean Michaels, Vince Voyeur, Alec Metro, and Brian Surewood. A good friend of mine thought this should've been entitled East Meats West. Three Japanese women - Yoko, Momo, and Yui (the cutest of the bunch) - are all looking for jobs in America. Yoko wants to be a gardener, Momo wants to act, and Yui wants to do something in the computer field. They barely speak English, but in the world of Porn Job Hunting, that matters not. The three of them are reading newspapers (while wearing lingerie) and in comes Charlie (a hot brunette with huge fake cans). Out come the toys! Charlie is soon eating Momo (the screamer of the trio) and Yoko and Yui have a fun sitting 69. Charlie fucks Momo with a big pink dildo while the little woman seems to be protesting in Japanese. Charlie humps her face, feeds her a blue dildo, and then fucks it. She is hardcore on this woman, and it's pretty intense. Yoko and Yui share Thai love beads, and Yui cums. There's nothing quite like dirty talk in Japanese. Charlie fucks Momo's ass with a vibrator and then double stuffs her with the vibe and a dildo. Charlie doesn't even break a sweat in this scene. I would've liked to have seen a big group effort, but oh well.

Yoko then goes to interview for a gardening job, because she "loves trees". Her interviewer thinks she's a tease, but she proves otherwise by going down on him, although her mouth is too small (but he seems happy). He keeps looking at the camera, and I can't tell if she's having fun or not. The scene is very run-of-the-mill, but ends in a facial.

Momo shows up for a photo shoot, and the photographer (who looks like an L.A. street guitarist) wants head shots. She, of course, thinks he wants head. Momo looks hot in this scene, and she gets her pussy eaten for a while. She appears to be better at cock sucking than Yoko, and loves the reverse cowgirl. Eventually, he holds her around the waist and bounces her on his cock while standing up. He cums on her belly.

Yui is masturbating in an office while Vince Voyeur and Jill Kelly are in another office. Jill is all over him, but he ignores her while trying to fix a computer. Jill spots Yui on a security monitor and it's off to the races! Yui can't resist Jill's womanly wiles, and there's more wonderful Japanese dirty talk. Jill gives her some pocket rocket vibrator treatment while eating her and momentarily fucks her with one of her tits. Jill talks dirty to her, but I couldn't help but wonder if Yui knew what she was saying. Vince sees what's happening and rushes to the scene as Yui has a squirting orgasm. Jill Kelly gives lessons in head on Vince, who then fucks Yui's face while Jill sucks his balls. Trust me, it's hot. Jill deep throats him, but she is soon on the table with legs in the air as he bangs her. While Yui is fucking her face for good measure, I suddenly realize that she looks like a Japanese Pat Benatar. Jill shoves Vince's cock into Yui, who has a great time with him, crying "More, more, more!" in her heavy accent. Jill licks at Vince's balls while Yui bounces in reverse cowgirl, and Vince gets some anal action with Jill, while she lays on the dirty talk. Double head follows and Yui gets the facial. This is the best scene in the film.

Nick East meets Yoko who "must be here about the bonsai tree". He also says, "You sure don't dress like a gardener." She looks at the camera too much, and it's not the best head he's ever had. She has fun, but looks a little awkward. There's a facial, but nothing wild here. Momo is next seen being interviewed by a guy at a pool. She wants to be an actress. He sucks her toes, and she now has a bruise on her right calve. Her head is soon bobbing away, and I can't tell if she's in agony or ecstasy as she rides him. He takes the anal plunge and she clearly loves it. It ends with a shot on her tits and face.

Lastly, we have Sean Michaels and Yui. She's fixing his computer and they discover they're cyber-lovers! What a coincidence! They start rutting to weird rock and roll choir music, and he screws her with his boxers on, but just to warm up. She does some hot cock sucking, but like her cohorts, looks at the camera too much. Sean jacks himself inside her, and she squirts cum while on her back. She gives him a quick rim job, and I just now notice that her nipples look like tiny udders (which, I suppose, they are). There's a cute facial at the end. If you're keeping track, there are only five men in the film, despite six being credited.

There have been at least three other East Meets West films made. The first is a good rental, and it would make a good purchase if you're into Asian women. I'll be looking for the others.

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