All Comments on 'Evil Bitch Ch. 04'

love this story you have made my favorites list!

I love it! love it! love it. Lost Boy is one of my very favorite writers, and I am waiting for next chapters.

Way to keep it at least half way believable.

By damned this is one fantastic story, I just wish I didnt have to wait so long between chapters lol, grt8 job.

when in the iron rain timeline is this with petra dead in it, but not here.

I'm enjoying this story very much. Can't wait for the next chapter.

I REALLY liked the first three chapters of this one and I was looking forward to seeing where it was headed. However, I now see that this one is turing into nothing more than an Iron Rain spin off. No thanks. I lost interest in that story months ago. If I wanted to read Iron Rain I would read Iron Rain. I won't be reading any further chapters of this one.

A fantastic storyline that promises a lot of mystery to be told.

I think Jon's mom should accompany the twins, Veronika and Jon to England to make sure the girls behave themselves, like the good little sluts that they are.

I hope that Veronika is thought of as one of the sisters, and Jon's mom treats her like one of her own.

A very good story that is very involved and interesting, along with a lot of fantastic erotic sex with all of the women.

He needs to give his mom a very loving and long hot fuck before they leave the old Miller house, just for good luck and break any bad karma the old house might have.

There can't be any bad luck left in the house after he fucks four very sexy and beautiful women in it, and their love and sexual satisfaction flowing around in the house.

Thanks for the fantastic chapter.

I love how this is basically a novel, with sex mystery an a turn around story! I remember reading the first chapter forever ago and just forgot to go back to the rest until now, glad i did tho!

I was surprised by the Iron Rain direction but since I'm addicted to Iron Rain as well, keep it up. Can't wait until the next chapter.

You have to have to keep this story line going!!!!!!!!!!! This is amazing

Hey I love tech as much as the next guy, but I would have liked this to just stay Jon, mum, the twins, and the odd one here and there.

I will read more, and you can write very hot sex scenes, but the magic is starting to fade.

We will see how it goes.

Where can i buy 1.

Or is Q the only guy that makes them.

Get an editor

You completely destroy the flow of the story with your atrocious grammar and punctuation

...had fun writing it. Like others, I notice little errors but am enjoying the read enough to not worry about such minor details. I wonder how many stories they have written and were they all word perfect?

Could do without all the talk about ruining fine natural tits with fake ass looking supposed enhancements. Whitch really always look like shit!( fake as hell) b or c cup is perfect.And whats up with all the anal these days a little here and there is not so bad .However very much starts sounding a little( Gay) everyone has an asshole you only find pussy on a woman.

Good Story so far. I too am not a fan of breast enhancements but the story holds my interest just the same.

I hate to be that guy but having right training makes a few details stick out slightly. Please keep in mind I'm only pointing the out because of your obvious care and attention to detail as a writer. That being said... If our prisoner is a southpaw, he won't be throwing a jab with his left hand. A jab is a weaker punch that comes from the side with the leg in front- in the case of a southpaw, his right. Furthermore, as stated, the jab is not a strong enough punch to break someone's jaw; a left cross maybe but that would more likely shatter the opponent's nose. If he followed up with a right hook, which connects with the side of the opponent's face moving laterally, that would be far more likely to break the jaw if thrown with enough strength or shatter the orbital.

Also no one who knew anything about fighting would say "I throw a mean jab" it's the first punch you learn and the weakest, used more for speed than power. "I throw a mean right hook" would be more appropriate since he's a southpaw.

It's just one of those things that sticks out for me and removes some of the believability of a character who is supposed to have some fight training or experience.

I loved the title, that was the hook to read the story.

But the more I read the more I wanted to find out what happens next!

Very nice read and I love the twists and turns you throw into it!

It really pushes suspension of disbelief in numerous places. Everyone and their daughter wants on his cock? A bit overkill but it's porn so whatever. He gets a 25 million dollar settlement for a year in jail? Not a chance a year of his life would be worth that much - life insurance wouldn't pay out that much if he had actually died.

But someone willing to offer an ex-con a job? You've really lost me there.

Also, for a story titled "evil bitch", not only has it spent more time on their mother, but what little time it does devote to her show very little evil and even less bitchiness.

Only in fiction. Possible if you win the lotterhy.

The writing is good. Flow is good and dialog is nice. Very little editing needed. I enjoyed chapter 1 & 2 a lot. Chapter 1 needs a proper buildup in the very beginning though. There is really no reason to feel that Colleen is evil nor a bitch. She comes off as a horny tsundere. And I do not feel any pity for the dude. It is more the other way around, he is a lucky s.o.b. since he gets easy sex while trying to go to sleep.

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Chapter 3 was a huge disappointment. Turns out the main guy is a cuck. Reading about a cuck protagonist is about as fun as stepping on lego. And to make things worse he whores out his own family. I had to stop reading. People seem to enjoy this chapter, no shame in that. I am going look through his other stories for a better fit, though.

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- Tomboll