All Comments on 'Exploring The Undercurrents'

The best I'm loved very god!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is awesome! A++++!!

Can't wait to read more by NiceGuyinVA!!!

This is a GREAT story, I love it.

Here are the mistakes I could spot.

Page 1: "Oh Bummer....Well take care of him" should be "Oh, bummer... well, take care of him". The ellipsis should be 3 dots, not 4.

Diane's outfit is "one-piece", not "once piece".

"then it was decided that Julie would serve first" should be a sentence by itself.

Diane vowed to herself to "bear down", not "bare down".

"was thoroughly handled' should be "had been thoroughly handled"

Julie's face goes "beet red", not "beat red"

Diane needed to put the "brakes" on the relationship, not "breaks".

there should be a comma after "to quickly turn to the wall" (commas used in apposition)

It should "hurt like hell", not like "Hell" - the actual capitalized "Hell" is never used except to refer to the actual place.

Diane's ankle was supposed to be in "dire straits", not "straights".

She wouldn't have "dragged" around her office... she'd have done something else.

That's it for the first page, there are a few more but comparatively minor.

Page 2:

Julie is going into "Dr. Williams's Intro class", not "Dr. Williams Intro class". Despite what the dumb Americanized Microsoft spellchecker says, there should indeed be an 's and not simply an apostrophe, for preference.

Diane should tell Julie she is "a beautiful, young and vulnerable woman" with the "a" and the comma.

Diane should be "wracked", not "racked', with an orgasm.

Julie will turn Diane into "a mass", not "mass".

"Jell-O" might have to be capitalized.

Missing close quotation marks in the last line, for Diane's dialogue.

I think the confrontation scene was somewhat clumsily done, and moved a bit too fast towards the sex, though of course I can understand why. This story still rates a 5 from me, though.

I enjoyed this story quite a bit. I wonder if you might have made it longer by drawing out the withdrawal-dinner transition. It seemed to happen too quickly, especially in light of the way you had built things up. I like it when authors invest time and energy in developing characters and building solid plot lines. The love-making was very good.

If you haven't got an editor yet, you should contact KatieTay. She's got some very useful pointers in her comments.

5 feet 10 inches. 175 pounds. Definitely muscular. Too, muscular. Those are physical numbers of men. Ruined the fantasy.