by sr71plt
Nice use of all the ingredients, and I can't say I minded Jesse getting his comeuppance. Well done. :)
Good one! I liked the way the personalities were turned on their heads by the end of the story and masterful use of the ingredients too. The only critique I have is that the beginning needs more of a hook. I started reading this once before and walked away by paragraph three.... If I hadn't been reading this for FAWC, I wouldn't have come back and would have missed a very good story.
Another story in this supposed contest that comes with cheerleaders.
From the home page of previous commentator "Sabb"
"You can find me and and some amazing illustrated stories by habu/sr71plt and I at... "
Don't believe it, click Sabb's name. Some of the authors here are pathetic.
Ah, another anonymous hater dropping a 1-bomb. First, Sabb indeed is my editor. As you note, no secret has been made of that, and he commented in the open (unlike anonymous, here, I might mention). Is there a reason why one's editor isn't permitted to like one's stories--and say so, if he wishes? Second, didn't either vote or comment until after the exercise as over.