Fall Cross Country...

"Well, they're gonna look pretty funny on him," I said.

"But, he can have them" I added, "along with the rest of you."

"Kathy I always loved you," I began, "All of you, and I would have forever."

"Maybe it was fate, or magic, or witchcraft, but I don't anymore," I said.

I smiled at her and told Ed to get started as I stared out the window and waved.

Ed started out trying to discuss the property settlement.

Kathy said we didn't need a property settlement because she loved me and didn't want a divorce.

I said that I couldn't possibly stay married to her because she was a skanky cheating whore and I didn't love her anymore.

From the way that Bert had talked about her when he followed his wife off the field Saturday, it was obvious that Bert didn't want her either.

Kathy's lawyer suggested counseling, saying that if we refused, the court could order it, and it would look bad for us to be unwilling to try and save the marriage.

Ed countered by showing the video and the phone taps we'd be using as evidence, and how we'd be dragging Kathy's name through the mud.

Kathy said "It was only one little mistake in over 20 years and it didn't mean much."

I told her that it was a pretty big God Damned mistake because she broke all of our wedding vows and demeaned and insulted me in the process. I promised her that our marriage was over, that I just wouldn't be able to get past this, and I was sorry.

I also promised to intercede with our kids on Kathy's behalf because they weren't speaking to her. Kathy signed the paper's and I left the office a free man.

I walked slowly across the road to the fence I'd been staring at the whole time. When I got to the fence Angela jumped off of it and straight into my arms, she kissed me as Kathy looked on.

She waved at Kathy without any evil intentions or snarkiness and yelled "Hey."

"She's gonna end up with that snake oil peddler," said Angela

"Tell me more," I said as we got into my Mustang and drove off with one of her bare feet sticking out the window.

"Well, it's gonna be a cold winter so we're not gonna git outta bed much," she said "not that you're gonna want to."

"And you're gonna be a daddy all over again," she continued.

"And we're gonna be the happiest damned people in the whole fuckin world."

"And that snake-charmer is gonna cheat on your ex wife lots a times... and.....,"

And we lived happily ever after.

The end