All Comments on 'Fallout'

This looks like the beginning of a good tale. Please flesh it out

Awesome. Please don't disappoint us by letting this story languish on this site unfinished.

just how come you or no one else can finish what they start ?

This will become a very large series. It might take a week per story... Yes, I do finish what I start. If my life gets too busy... It will just take longer to make another chapter.

This has promise. But you should work on spelling and grammar a little bit more just to make sure you're using the word you intended to. I actually have the same problem with my own writing and I find it helps to have a few other people read my work and then I will reread it before I try to get it edited. Please keep up the good work and I look forward to more

An interesting beginning you have here. I think you have the makings of a pretty good epic tale with an intriguing setting.

If I had some advice to give, it would be to slow down a bit. There are several spots here that feel rushed. Spots that would work very well if things slowed down and were fleshed out and given a bit more substance.

There are spelling/punctuation errors as well, but those things are simpler and fairly easy to correct.

Make your conversations flow naturally. Don't worry about getting your characters to say something to meet a goal. Have them speak like they're in a conversation, making small talk, etc.

Don't worry about how long it takes to get a chapter out. Slow down. Take your time. Your readers will enjoy the attention to detail and fleshing out and robustness of plot more than the instant gratification of having a new entry sooner.

Keep going. Don't be discouraged by rough edges needing smoothing, all good stories have rough edges that need smoothing. That's okay. Work at those edges bit by bit, share your story, and enjoy the work you put into it. I look forward to reading more as you continue!

'He slowed down his breathe' is wrong. It should be: 'he slowed down his breathing'.

I like the set up, Please continue. I was thinking of writing something similar, But don't feel adequately talented.

Good story so far