All Comments on 'Family Trip to Grandma's Ch. 04'

Loved it.

Tonight I have read all four Grandma stories. This is by far the best, content as well as writing. You still have a lot of work to do, both with grammar and proofreading, but you have made unbelievable progress. As I said in another comment, you really tell a good story.

Breast is usually plural the way you used it. You confuse character names on occasion. You really need an editor!!

You really need to get an EDITOR. Do the women only have one breast and two nipples? That's how it sounds when you write breast instead of breasts. Breast is singular (meaning one), not like the word deer -- which can be singular or plural. You also mixed up Chris and John in the last two chapters, not to mention other errors of grammer and missing words. This is a very good story, and you need to finish it, but please get an editor. They are there to help you become an even better writer.

Will Laura feel so tightly constrained by her wedding vows when she sees hubby Chris pounding her mother's pussy from behind while her son John matches his father stroke for stroke down Grandma's throat?

Please view the comments about grammar as constructive criticism. Those individuals would not comment at all if they didn't want to read more of your work.

Thanks for posting this series!

I didn't give any comments for the Other two or so chapters as I was waiting to read this one before I wrote anything more. So here's what I have to say is that I agree with the person who wrote five stars for story, but three stars for writing you know what i'm getting at here so no more said. I'm waiting with baited breath for the next four or five chapters that could be put into this story, so here's hoping. Just a little extra please get an EDITOR !!!!! as a couple of other people have written to help you but other than that thanks for an interesting story.

where is ch. 05 surely you won't end the story in this manner.

Please write another chapter or two.

This story is one of the best I've read.

Total fail

I liked the whole story but there are so manny simple typo'.

For example, "She went town to greet him as SHE climbed out of the car". And in the second last sentence Chris becomes CHRIST.

Great Readd just need lots more.

We gotta let Chris fuck his Mother in law,

it's only fair she fucks everyone in her family. lol!

Great Job,

WB

I enjoyed the ending. Grandmother and son were mature enough to recognize what they wanted and went after it. Their egos remain intact. Their self confidence, self-realization, and self-assurance remain intact. They recognized and accepted their emotional and sexual epiphancy without guilt or shame. The mother continues to fail to accept that her son is now a mature, male; no longer a child. She refuses to accept the knowledge that you can love more than one person at a time. Although she has verified her own emotional and sexual thoughts of her son, she remains ashamed with her own sexuality and sexual growth. Would like to see the author return to this storyand develop the plots.