All Comments on 'Fantasies of a Babysitter Ch. 02'

Topic intent was good, but the lack of ongoing continuity sucked! And your spelling wasn't so "hot" either, nor was your composition in your sentences. A good author could make a real good story out of this, it is too bad that you seemed to let your little head dictate to your big head...

don't know what the guy ahead of me was talking about? I thought it was good!

Up to your standards.

The story was good. If it had been someone esle narrating it would have been even better. Your "voice" is kind of annoying. Like in your last peice of dialouge. But the story was great! You're a natural.