All Comments on 'Feel For Jack Ch. 02'

Thanks for sharing.

At least he got his balls back.

It was like listening to a eulogy while watching paint dry. Way to narrative with single dimension characters

I'm not convinced he got his balls back. He became an asshole. He has a crapy life and lost all self respect. Yeah, he's a winner.

I couldn't get past the first couple of paragraphs. Man you need to practice your writing skills. In the first place you mix your tense right off the bat and continue to do it. Pick one and stay with it, preferably, "past tense." You're telling a story of what has already happened, it's not happening as you tell the story.

Stop using words like "then," so often. Put some thought into your writing, not just the story.

Lacks credibility. Part one (which should have been labelled) strains the laws of probability. While bad outcome after bad outcome (multiple times) could happen, the chain of events befalling Jack in chapter one was as likely as Superman dying from kryptonite in a Superman movie! Then, in Chapter two, Jack suddenly becomes an alpha male! A nerd from MIT decides to behave like a jock from Duke and pulls it off! Well, nice fantasy for some, but mostly silly for others. And forcing Larry to suck off Roger in the office? Very believable -- not!

Okay story in bits and pieces. But your narrative style wears thin and gets repetitive. I thought it really over the top to have Larry sucking Roger's cock (put that shit in Gay male) and his treatment of his wife simply didn't make sense. Your conclusion where he loves Janet in a limited way but will never be fully in love with her left me scratching my head. I don't think Jack even knows what he wants. While I appreciate you having the courage to post this, I didn't feel that this was very well written. Maybe a good editor?

His wife gets him his job back with a promotion and he doesn't even thank her?

That's the only reason FXY typed this out. No writing involved, obviously. None needed for the eunuck pussies to have a group grope.

I'm no writer so to start with I applaud your work.

I have no idea how to write in the third person without it sounding to narrative.

I do believe in "The ultimate revenge is to live well".

I also believe "The worst revenge involves meeting bubba for 5 to 7 years."

I also agree. That it seems he became more asshole than masculine.

It does have a narrative feel and sound.

It is still a rough read. There are a misplaced words. May a change of thought or phrasing that did not get cleaned out completely. You need to either give better time reference points or be VERY, VERY careful on cumulative times. Please reread the Hooker Haven time line.

Good story frame work. An editor could have helped spot the glaring problems.

Still AN MIT ENGINEER that can't find work? Next time make him a IU or some state college engineer, that people will believe.

It worked out great in. The end, two sons a great job with total control and a wife who loves him and hasn't strayed since they were almost homeless.

An unusual tale as it has the husband for a change taking control of the circumstances that have been dealt to him. He plays other people's insecurities against them. To have his revenge his character became a bit of an arsehole. I think to protect yourself and deal out revenge it is a necessary trait to follow.

As his wife Janet I though the story could go in the direction he would trust her, but verify. Which he did do with the cameras.

Perhaps in the story he could have asked his wife that he should have a free pass to fuck another woman. To make up for her fucking a man at the clinic. As his wife does not know about his encounter with Christine !

The time line needed a little bit of attention and some of the scenes, but apart from that it was a good story.

And as far as exceeding Literotica's page limitation. Impossible.

Stangstar06 manages to stretch his boring stories to 12 pages or more.

This one really irritated me. Are we supposed to identify with the protagonist??

Enough said.

Part 1 was great and full of promise. Part two was a huge disappointment. Your revenge was way overboard and didn't make a whole lot of sense. I did not complete through to the end as it became unreadable. Only someone who enjoys a scorched earth policy could read this.

Lots of promise in Ch1! Lots of disappointment in Ch2. Too elaborate and too iffy, and details are neglected!

This read more like a report from a disinterested party than a story with emotion. I liked it but it was cold.

Don't feel sorry for Jack at all. He stated he didn't have many options. He did have them, he just was too afraid to go through with them. It was partly his fault he continued to work for Christine with her bad behavior. He could've quit or turn her in for harassment. He also could've searched for jobs outside of his hometown.

I can go on and on with other things Jack could've done. Pretty much all of the characters are idiots.

That was.. bizarre, but fun; better than the first part. My only quibble is that Jack should have kept Christine as his personal assistant- her tight pussy is a valuable asset to the company. Hey, it's a fantasy, right?

For once hubby gets even. All the WACCs will be disappointed but fuck em.

Jack should have let Janet get pregnant by another guy (not Larry though) while he watched. He also should have gotten Christine to come live with them, and gotten them both pregnant.

He gets $ & a car for Larry f*cking his wife.

That simply makes him a pimp.

And just to make sure he doesn't lose more money, he stays with her. Now he's selling his own soul.

"Sorry, Charlie", not me.

I'd rather life a modest life with a great wife than a more affluent life with a cheater.

but this was sooooo badly written I couldn't get through it. If you like to write, my advise is to take some on-line writing lessons.

why continue the marriage if there was no real love?

Thanks.

The story had some interesting turns and perhaps had some promise. The problem I had was there was not one likable person in the whole story. At the end I was hoping some sort of plague or terrorist strike would take them all out. The world would not be a worse place if any or all of them disappeared, and that to me is sad. There was no one to root for, no one to feel sorry for.

Sad in MN

I love revenge

His actions don't make a lot of sense. Poorly concluded.

I didn't care for the end of this story. I felt that either they split, or they don't ..... the idea of his staying put, in a seemingly loveless marriage ..... just didn't work for my tastes. Also, his final scenes and revenge moves were just too convoluted .... taking the Volvo, making the one guy suck off the other guy ..... distractions in the flow of the story.

This should bring the horror category.

another cocksucking WIMP posting DUMB cuck SHIT.

This really was first class revenge, an eye for an eye where it was most deserved. My only complaint was not that there was a reconciliation with the wife but rather that the contrition and forgiveness, the process of reconciliation was not described but glossed over instead.

That said, it was a fun and enjoyable story.

4*

Good revenge on everyone. Not so good reconciliation, but reasons given will work.

I have to say amongst dumb stories in LW this one definitely is a strong contender for one of the dumbest. So he talks to his buddies and finds out about his possible finanial loss in a divorce. He doesn't want to lose 50% of ZERO fucking assets they have at that point, and zero alimony beause he has low or no income, and no fucking kids so no child support. So instead he stays married, has two kids with a woman he doesn't love, builds assets, has a high income so that if she fucks on him again, instead of losing zero in asssets and paying no alimony, he has to pay a boatload for alimony, child support and lose 50% of assets.

God the paranoid men on this site wallowing in such self-pity about the perceived "unfairness" of divorce courts that it makes them completely retarded.

The very last chapter of Chapter 2 explains the real aftermath of infidelity. Sure, you can reconcile but even after decades you cannot forget the visual stuff. Forgive? Enough to remain married and carry on, but you'd never forget. *****

Interesting about the description of Christine's pussy. I don't know if it would work like that in real life, but it made for a BTB story, and the reality of divorce isn't always as bad as depicted here, but it sucks no matter how. And he did get the job thanks to his wife's efforts, and the satisfaction of taking the boss down a peg.

As another comment mentioned, he could have sued for harassment when Christine offered sex. As for. the situation of being out of work, alas in the US that's not unrealistic. Without money it's unlikely that anyone can find a lawyer good enough to provide results. If you can even find one to work on spec for that kind of case. He could have found something somewhere, technology enables you to apply for jobs long distances away and for a well paying job, companies often pay for your flight to get there for an interview.

But this isn't reality, it's fiction. It fits right into the genre.

Husbands usually gets fucked in the divorce courts

Yep

Husbands usually gets fucked in the divorce courts...

Oft repeated bullsh!t.

Wives, who don't make as much money, more often get screwed because they can't afford great legal representation.

5. Great

Ok so Jacj didn't wimp out. Nice😉