by CeriseNoire
i really love these kinds of stories. love and passion mixed together =) keep writing!
Another excellent tale – you are continually improving. Pete.
I didn't leave a vote or a comment on the first story of yours I read, but I will go back and do so after reading this one.
The reason being that you delved into the psyche of a sexual and romantic/love relationship in a very well thought out manner that was refreshing to read.
His 'first and last time', her prior experience, set the tone very well for the conflict in her mind.
I am not a fan of 'stroke' stories, and I cringe every time I read 'his shaft', but then, one learns as one writes, I would think.
well done my new friend, I sense a romance novel yearning within you to be written.
amicus...
Thought the tension between love, passion and learning to live together was very well done. Congrats Cerise. To those who complained about not enough stroke - did you check the category? This is romance and I thought the sex was just right and beautifully nuanced.
I thought the hospital bed blowjob was really hot, but you could have made more of this. A little more of Mike's dazed reaction, maybe Wes hearing people go by outside would add to the tension. Also the comedic ending to that section was a bit lame.
I think there was a LOT of reading to do for the reader to get to the sexy parts, which then weren't long enough. What you have here is an awesome start, but my advice is to trim down the beginning and interim passages.
The gentle sex at the end is very sweet. I like the idea that it takes him being injured to force them into slow, gentle sex and not just fuck the argument away. Sexual healing in all senses. Good stuff!
Other than putting tree instead of three at the beginnin, there was nothing wrong with it, but you failed to capture my attention. Try using stronger charged words to describe emotion and sensation.
Nicely written. Nice how she sees the difference at the end. No stroker but a nice story.