by JoshuaGlynn
So suprised no one had a 10 inch dong. Congratulations on a well written tight story. Creative and humorous, graphic and imaginative. Literotica could do with more story tellers such as you. Thanks
You're a good enough writer that I figure you won't mind a few tips. One flat-out error: in a couple places you use -'s for the plural when a -s would be correct (e.g., girlfriend's)--this is a common error on the internet, and perhaps some of your confusion comes from those instances in which -'s is proper (often used in onomatopoetic words and numbers, e.g., ooh's). Three stylistic irritations; avoid these and your stories will be better: (1) an excess of exclamation marks; (2) the superfluous "sensual" (here's a hint: the word is almost *always* unnecessary and to be avoided); (3) gazing through eyes to souls. //// Just a few thoughts. I've enjoyed your stories, and look forward to whatever you post next.
too. It was a nice, short story. Will there maybe a second part? I'd be great, cause there is enough room for it. I'd like to get to know the parents better. Or what will they do for college? But if tere will be no 2nd part - it was a really good read!
Wonderful how their love and relationship is shown to grown stronger thru time.