All Comments on 'Fine Dive'

A little too great perhaps but definitely loving. A smile is a wonderful thing and can be so fulfilling. This couple has so much of everything. Love, health, money and he has great in-laws.

Really enjoyed this story.

points:

1. attempted murder would have had hubby, and his accomplices, in jail.

2. a divorce can still go thru.

so they could have been safe, bad guys arrested instead of hiding out a month. now they are in exactly the same situation a month later.

btw, what is this need to make guys military heros? why not an average joe who gets the girl?

You have burst onto the scene with quite a flourish. Unless I'm mistaken, you have submitted 11 stories in 3 days. Wow.

My primary suggestion would be to slow down the initial attraction of your characters. They seem to fall in love much too quickly and easily.

The handling of the getway done right based on who the "Bad Guys" were.A better ending would be the Divorce Court scene and then the arrest of Hubby after she mentions the upcoming marrage

A good read.

a lovely read. Thank you for once again giving this lil Texan something to read in her insominia driven nights and long days. enjoyed this one alot. Thank you. respectfully naynay

That is so great i hope you will continue with this story i would like to see Keiko`s husband caught and Rick and Keiko married will you continue with the story.?

Pat

Really speedy relationships. I can't imagine parents especially wealthy parents who would not attempt to slow down their daughter's plans in the situation described.

<P>

<I>-- srgeek --</I>

WHEN WILL WE GET THE NEXT CHAPTERS? THIS NEEDS TO BE FINISHED. DON'T LEAVE US HANGING !

The Medal of Honor is certainly not a trivial matter, but quibbling over the author referring to it as "Congressional Medal of Honor" is pure petty-assed chickenshit. It was a wonderful and beautiful story and it just aches my ass to see such a cheap shot taken at such a good story.

I don't care what medals he has. When you ask a military person how something happened he just gives you the facts.

"I was underwater looking for my 1000 dollah fishing pole I lost the previous day..."

You wouldn't want everytime you ask a soldier:

"Is that clear soldier"

to hear:

"sir my mom was an indian and I had chicken for lunch sir, yes it's clear sir"

I would like to thank you for an outstanding story. It held my attention throughout and I really enjoyed it.

I would have liked to know how the story ends. I'm sorry, but it seemed so unfinished like you didn't have anything else you could think of to write. But all in all, I liked it. Good Job!

I don't have a username yet but I agree that the author should use the correct terminology when referring to our nation's highest medal. Those that don't care are more than likely communist, which I don't think the writer is one of those foul things. Please give the writer the benefit of the doubt on this outstanding story!

Jmichael

...Grey Eagle, I do like a majority of your stories, but they seem to end abruptly. I would have liked to see you show the hearing when the husband finds out she is still alive and the marriage between Keiko and Rick. Besides the clipped ending, nice job...

Though your hero is quite a man, I enjoyed the story, but ... It needs a little more. I would love to see another part that details how your villain/s deal with the knowledge their attempted murder failed.

It ended too quickly though - it would have made some great fun reading through the rest of the story where she confronts her husband and he gets to turn state's evidence or die lol.

And some follow up with his buddies like in many f the other stories would have been fun.

no offense... but you write like a writer just learning the craft... your dialogue is the worst point... it doesn't flow in the manner that normal people actually speak... you really need to do a lot of reading of the work of others that have the gift of writing dialogue... or take a class... because... again... your characters as well as your situations aren't very realistic.... jmo

One must say about this story that it was entering.

Thanks for an enjoyable believable story. I look forward to reading your other stories.

I don’t understand why your characters all have to be military heros, hung like a horse, etc. Is that your idea of a “real man?” Sad...

I enjoyed the story but there are some things that could be cleaned up to improve it. Dialogue is stilted in spots, multiple people speak in the same paragraph, paragraphs are long and unwieldy, and the ending was too abrupt. One minor point repeated at least twice is that the Colt 1911 is not an automatic, it’s a single-action semi-automatic.

I’ll give this one 4 stars (with some cleanup it could have been 5!) and I look forward to reading some of your newer works to see how your writing has improved over time. Thanks for sharing.

to the bad guys? They are still out there.

The Medal of Honor is not the congressional medal of honor, for the simple fact that Congress has no honor. Seriously though, it does not have "congressional" in its name.

How in the world could she have been married and yet so naive about sex? A fun read, though.

Great story but where is the end??

Wonderful story, now where is chapter 2.

Great story. Love it. Next chapter please. AAAAAA+++++

Great story - interesting read. Kept interesting and moved along nicely

COMMENTATORS almost covered A-Z! Just let out W - so here it is WOW!

I really like the story concept. However, the writing was clumsy, and the ending was abrupt. There should have been more of a resolution regarding the divorse, and catching the bad guys.

This felt like a rushed ending, no divorce or getting the bad guys in the end