All Comments on 'First Time for Everything Ch. 01'

A character who corrects another character's grammar, and you write at this sub-par level?

Not well-written, and not intriguing enough to bring me back for any more.

At the very least, get a proofreader.

I liked the story. It has reality to it. Don't worry about the editting,some people forget this is not a publishing web site for Pro's but for evryday people. Please continue on.

good start, kinda weird that he wouldn't know the possibilities of co-ed dorm room

As you noted, editing is not your strong suit. Nonetheless, reading the story out loud would have helped you catch many of the errors. Not, however, the use of "to" for "too." Looking forward to Ch. 02.

First chapter is quite good. What happened after that? HOW ABOUT SOME MORE?

You started well. The editing issue is easily fixed - I, for one, would be happy to help you with it. I see it's four years since you posted this chapter - I hope you'll continue it soon.