by DonnaBeck
I loved this chapter and how it adds dimension to the characters and situation in a moment of respite from the ratcheting up of plot tension.
The calmness of the story at this point was perfectly conveyed on a silk river of limpid prose.
This story has eroticism, romance, fascinating characters, a compelling plot and prose as smooth and sensual as the best chocolate melting in your mouth.
Wonderfully well done, DB.
I fully agree with avidfan's comments.
DB, your writing skills and imagineering deserve high praises.
Nana's dialogue with Tracy is a treat for this reader.
Nana seems to carry the voice of the author, speaking to her inner child-writer. The nudges and encouragements have that level of connection and intimacy.
Whether or not you are putting the voice of the author into Nana's character, the flow of spirit between her and Tracy is palpable.
Brilliant !
I really enjoyed Subway Girl so I was delighted to see Flower Girl and I'm loving it so far. The characters are so realistic and interesting, and the story-within-a-story is fascinating (and technically tricky, but you are handling it brilliantly!) Thank you for sharing your talent with us.
I must say I am getting sucked into Andy and Vera now. She visits him in jail, this is getting very interesting. Meanwhile the phone is put to good use and Tracy shows she is a good sport, and a sexy one. But can it last? Ahhhhh, that is why I turn the pages.
I have always wondered how a new couple would start talking erotically over the phone. This gave me some great ideas
I just adore all of Beverly's wisdom and practicality in this chapter. Yes, the phone sex is amazingly hot, and yes, the developments in Andy and Vera's story are sweet and fun at the same time. But Beverly's ability to look at young, fresh love from the outside and know its truthfulness is the crowning touch here. You've packed the chapter so full of different angles on love and romance ... the newness and passion (and obsessive phone-watching) of the relationship between William and Tracy ... the movement toward fruition, openness, and honesty between Andy and Vera ... the domesticity of Beth and her husband with their new baby ... and the reminiscences of a 40-year marriage of true love from Beverly. The whole thing is so full of heart in such a delightful and yet believable and real way.
Bravo and thank you for managing to write such a faith-sustaining piece of art!
Hmm! I have not read all the comments, however I am suspecting we have just seen the intro to "Runner Girl."
Truly amazing how Tracy and William are in tune. So will it end in the trilogy?
I hope not. Upward and onward.
We learn more about William, i.e his family and the relationship with John.
And Beverly finds a love interest of her own.
Awed at the level of intelligence! Never seen before on lit,,, no 14 inch dicks, gallons of cum, 44eee tits, insight the likes of Virginia Woolf! Ms 5by5 in ratings.
Bravo
When Andy gave Vera oral it made me sick. Don't get me wrong I love oral but to do it with a working girl. I could imagine his mouth broken out with every STD in the book. It was killing the enjoyment until I just skipped over it. I still gave it 5*.
Aggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate pages that have less than a few paragraphs at the end -- one line is too much!