All Comments on 'Flower Girl Ch. 06'

by DonnaBeck

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  • 14 Comments
avidfaavidfaabout 9 years ago
Smooth as silk

I loved this chapter and how it adds dimension to the characters and situation in a moment of respite from the ratcheting up of plot tension.

The calmness of the story at this point was perfectly conveyed on a silk river of limpid prose.

This story has eroticism, romance, fascinating characters, a compelling plot and prose as smooth and sensual as the best chocolate melting in your mouth.

Wonderfully well done, DB.

fanfarefanfareabout 9 years ago
dittp

I fully agree with avidfan's comments.

DB, your writing skills and imagineering deserve high praises.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Nana

Nana's dialogue with Tracy is a treat for this reader.

Nana seems to carry the voice of the author, speaking to her inner child-writer. The nudges and encouragements have that level of connection and intimacy.

Whether or not you are putting the voice of the author into Nana's character, the flow of spirit between her and Tracy is palpable.

Brilliant !

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Better and better...

I really enjoyed Subway Girl so I was delighted to see Flower Girl and I'm loving it so far. The characters are so realistic and interesting, and the story-within-a-story is fascinating (and technically tricky, but you are handling it brilliantly!) Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Andy adjusts to jail

I must say I am getting sucked into Andy and Vera now. She visits him in jail, this is getting very interesting. Meanwhile the phone is put to good use and Tracy shows she is a good sport, and a sexy one. But can it last? Ahhhhh, that is why I turn the pages.

rlh100rlh100about 9 years ago
Great phone sex

I have always wondered how a new couple would start talking erotically over the phone. This gave me some great ideas

IanSaulWhitcombIanSaulWhitcombabout 9 years ago
"...to experience true love one must be vulnerable."

I just adore all of Beverly's wisdom and practicality in this chapter. Yes, the phone sex is amazingly hot, and yes, the developments in Andy and Vera's story are sweet and fun at the same time. But Beverly's ability to look at young, fresh love from the outside and know its truthfulness is the crowning touch here. You've packed the chapter so full of different angles on love and romance ... the newness and passion (and obsessive phone-watching) of the relationship between William and Tracy ... the movement toward fruition, openness, and honesty between Andy and Vera ... the domesticity of Beth and her husband with their new baby ... and the reminiscences of a 40-year marriage of true love from Beverly. The whole thing is so full of heart in such a delightful and yet believable and real way.

Bravo and thank you for managing to write such a faith-sustaining piece of art!

DoctimeDoctimealmost 9 years ago

Hmm! I have not read all the comments, however I am suspecting we have just seen the intro to "Runner Girl."

AmbisinisterAmbisinisteralmost 9 years ago
Addicting

Why, oh why did I elect to start reading this at lunch!

bruce22bruce22over 8 years ago
Love all of DB'a work

Truly amazing how Tracy and William are in tune. So will it end in the trilogy?

I hope not. Upward and onward.

rightbankrightbankalmost 8 years ago
I have two wishes

We learn more about William, i.e his family and the relationship with John.

And Beverly finds a love interest of her own.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Brilliance

Awed at the level of intelligence! Never seen before on lit,,, no 14 inch dicks, gallons of cum, 44eee tits, insight the likes of Virginia Woolf! Ms 5by5 in ratings.

Bravo

harryvmiharryvmiover 4 years ago
loved the story but hated the story she was writing

When Andy gave Vera oral it made me sick. Don't get me wrong I love oral but to do it with a working girl. I could imagine his mouth broken out with every STD in the book. It was killing the enjoyment until I just skipped over it. I still gave it 5*.

AnAncientAnAncientalmost 2 years ago

Aggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate pages that have less than a few paragraphs at the end -- one line is too much!

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userDonnaBeck@DonnaBeck
Hi Lit - readers, It has been suggested that I give the order of the trilogy; Subway, Flower, and Runner Girl. I have two short stories on here as well. I am currently writing erotica. I expect the new piece to be out around the first of the year. Thank you for your intere...

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