Fool's Gold Ch. 01

In the end, the girls cried themselves to the point of exhaustion and I left them huddled together on Lacey's bed. I covered them with a bedspread and made my weary way back downstairs. I was thankful that Anne hadn't tried to insert herself onto the meeting. She'd get her chance to talk to the girls later.

With a heavy heart, I paused at the stair case landing. I dreaded going back into the living room. I really didn't want to fight with Anne anymore that night, but I had to talk to her. We needed to discuss how our breakup would affect the girls.

When I returned to the living room, I saw Anne hastily putting away her cell phone. I assumed that she had been talking to that asshole Johnson, telling him what had happened. It should have infuriated me, but at that time, I was too exhausted to care. It was just another sign that the marriage was over. From the blotches around her eyes, it was obvious that she had been crying, too.

She looked up at me apprehensively as I sat down. It puzzled me for an instant and then I understood. She was afraid of what I had told the girls. She thought that I had told them about her fucking Johnson. She was concerned that I had given into my anger and had blamed her for everything. She thought that I had taken the opportunity to turn the girls against her.

I shook my head in disgust. "Jesus Christ, Anne. Give me some credit. I might hate you right now, but you're their mother. They need both of us. I'm not going to try to turn the girls against you.

My eyes glinted as I leaned forward. "Let's set one ground rule now. We're getting divorced, not the kids. I don't want them dragged into the middle of this shit. I won't trash you to them and I expect you to do the same. Let's keep this between the two of us, and try to keep it as painless as possible for the kids."

Anne nodded gratefully. "What did you tell them?"

"I just said that we were having troubles and had decided to split up. If you want to tell them what really happened, then be my guest. I don't think they need to know right now. But, if you want to confess, I'll leave it up to you. Just don't make me the villain."

I grabbed the watered down remnants of my drink and downed it quickly. I was tempted to get another. Hell, I was tempted to have a bunch. But drowning my sorrows was not my way. I rubbed my neck and looked over to her tiredly. "I can't deal with this anymore tonight. All we'll do is get into another argument and wake the kids up. So why don't you get what you need out of the bedroom now. I want to go to bed."

I was kind of surprised that I didn't get any more of an argument out of Anne. She slowly nodded and went upstairs. At that time, I really didn't know or care if she was staying or leaving. She came down a few minutes later carrying a small bag. She looked at me sorrowfully.

"I'll call the girls tomorrow and I'll let you know when I am coming by to pick up a few more things. I'm going to go stay with a friend for a few days."

I snorted. I assumed that she was heading out to shack up with Johnson. She looked like she wanted to say something but turned away and headed quietly out the door.

As she opened it, I heard her murmur sadly, "Bill, I'm truly sorry," but she was gone before I could respond.

I stared at the wall for a while and then went to my solitary bed to lie awake staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what had gone wrong with my life.

The next few weeks were hell. To my chagrin, Anne and I rapidly fell into a pattern of sniping and bickering that threatened to spiral out of control. I guess it started the day after Anne left.

I had called into work to let them know that I was taking a few personal days off to deal with the crisis. My boss wasn't happy, but he could understand where I was coming from. Joe had gone through a hellacious divorce a few years earlier that had left him understandably bitter. He was a charter member of the "Women are not to be trusted" club and was eager to give me some clues on how to take Anne to the cleaners. He gave me some recommendations on a good aggressive divorce attorney, and suggested that I start to take some steps to protect my assets.

The girls had been surprised in the morning to find that the mother was not there, but were mollified by her promise that she would call them. I gave them my promise that we would discuss matters further after school. They wanted to stay home, but I knew that I would be busy and I didn't want them to sit and obsess over the divorce. So I sent them to school in the hopes that they might be distracted from the situation. Just to be safe, I contacted the school guidance office to advise them of the situation. They recommended a counselor for the girls to meet with if it became necessary.

Maybe I was naïve. I never even considered the possibility that Anne would try to "snatch" the girls from my custody. I just didn't think she had it in her. Luckily, it didn't occur to her either. She did pick up the girls from their school, but only so she could talk to them. She even had the courtesy to call me to tell me what she had done so I wouldn't get worried when they did not get home on time. Still I paced and worried, until I saw her car pull up.

I was not feeling too charitable towards Anne. During the day I had learned some new information on what was going on. I had a pretty good idea what had precipitated her decision and I was pissed. I had received an unexpected visitor a few hours earlier: Claire Johnson. Claire was Alan's wife. She had come to expose her husband's sordid little affair with Anne.

Claire had been tracking the two of them for about two or three months and had all sorts of evidence that she wanted to show me. She had managed to get photographs and video of the two of them together. I took note of it, but I declined her offer to see it all. I didn't want to know the grisly details or watch my wife get fucked by Alan Johnson. The few pictures she did give me of their kissing were enough to turn my stomach. I didn't need any further evidence of Anne's betrayal.

The worst thing however was something that was not said. From the beginning of her visit, Claire acted like she expected me to know about the affair. When I commented on this, she disclosed the fact that she had confronted the two of them yesterday during a luncheon tryst.

Alan hadn't left her, she had told him to get the hell out. What was worse, she had specifically told Anne that she was going to let me know. Anne knew the jig was up for her, too. Anne knew that Claire had a copy of the evidence with my name on it that she was going to get to me as soon as possible.

Claire's revelation floored me. Now I understood why Anne had asked for the divorce out of the blue. She knew damn well that Claire was going to tell me about her affair. She had tried to gain the upper hand by dumping me before I found out.

The dishonesty of her actions was unbelievable. It couldn't be viewed as anything but coldhearted and deceptive. She had tried to manipulate me into leaving the house while hiding her guilt from me. The only thing that confused me is that it just didn't seem to make sense. I had never considered Anne to be that self centered and conniving. I began to wonder if I had ever really known Anne at all.

In any event, while anxiously awaiting Anne to return with the girls, I made my decision. If she could act that callously to me, then I would play hardball, too. I'd live up to my promise not to get the girls involved, but in all other respects, it was going to be all out war. I had decided to take Joe's advice and make her pay in the divorce. In the meantime, I started to look for little ways to annoy and harass her. I wanted to pay her back for the aggravation that she had caused me.

I'm sure most of you have gone through a tough breakup at some point in your life. You know how easy it is to succumb to the baser part of your nature, and fall into an "us" versus "them" mentality. You attack your former lover in an effort to ease some of the pain in your heart. You fight over things you don't care about, just because you know it will piss off the other side.

That is the pattern that Anne and I fell into. Every little attack or slight that I gave to Anne was responded to in kind, and then I retaliated to her actions. We weren't thinking, we were just responding. After all, you had to respond. Doing nothing might be seen as a sign of weakness.

In any event, we were acting like Palestine and Israel, or maybe the Hatfield's and the McCoy's. Slowly but surely our attacks on each other were escalating. We were in a downward spiral that seemed to be heading for a disastrous contested divorce where everything would be contested, starting with the custody of the girls.

That was when Laura stepped in. Laura was the one person I could always count on to support me and give me the advice I needed, whether I wanted to hear it or not. She was my "twin" sister.

Technically, Laura is my cousin, but that doesn't begin to do justice to our relationship. In our minds we are "twins with different mothers." To understand this, you need to know something about our parents. They are a living breathing human-interest story. To make a long story short, our mothers are identical twins, who met and fell in love with... you guessed it, another pair of identical twins.

Our parents took the twin thing to the extreme. Our Moms and Dads got married in a joint ceremony followed by a shared honeymoon. Nine months later, Laura and I were the result. Our Moms even managed to conceive at the same time and went into labor within minutes of each other. In my mind's eye, I can just see them in adjoining beds coordinating their contractions.

Laura came first. The doctor had just enough time to deliver her and cut the umbilical cord before she had to rush over to catch me as I clawed my way squalling into the world. Laura's never let me forget that she is about ten minutes older than I am.

For as far back as I can remember, Laura has been part of my life. Laura's family lived on the next street over, and our back yards abutted each other. In practice, we turned the back yard (and the two houses) into a shared space. It was like having a second home and family. Her parents were my parents and vice versa. I'm pretty sure that our Moms switched off on nursing us on occasion. It didn't bother me. I thought I was really lucky to have two Moms.

Aunt Cindy and Uncle Bill (yes, I'm named for my Uncle just like Laura is named for my mother) always treated me like their own child. To this day, I still call Aunt Cindy Mom at times. She takes it as a compliment and Uncle Bill doesn't mind either. I guess it's to be expected. From what I understand, genetically, I was their child and Laura was the child of my parents. It's no wonder we ended up acting like twins.

Laura's house was my second home and I probably slept there as often as I did in my own house. And when I wasn't at her house, she was at mine. We were inseparable. I'm told that when Laura and I were toddlers, the easiest way to put us down for a nap was to allow us to cuddle up like a pair of puppies. It may seem strange to others, but I grew up with four parents and two homes.

Now, before anyone gets the wrong idea, as far as I know nothing kinky ever went on between our parents. Spare me the jokes or crude comments about how easy it would have been for our parents to make a mistake and switch off. Trust me, even with identical twins; there are enough differences for family members to be able to tell them apart. We all knew who was who.

Similarly, don't even think that Laura and I ever did anything together. Laura was my best friend and in all-important respects my twin sister. We had that twin dynamic going full force. Kissing her would be like kissing a female version of me. Incest and narcissism are not kinks that I am into.

Throughout grade and middle school, Laura and I were inseparable. We both took some teasing but we stuck up for each other. I probably took more lumps defending Laura than for any other reason and she did the same for me. If a boy or girl was not able to accept both of us as a friend, then the answer was plain; they didn't get either of us.

By high school, we had developed some differing interests, but we still hung out together more often than not. We ended up joining a loose group of friends that generally hung out together and had fun. It was nice to have someone to watch my back, and keep me from getting too stupid. Laura always kept her eye out for me and I was her protector. Our friends soon learned that we didn't keep secrets from one another. If a boy wanted Laura to know that he liked her, all he needed to do was to tell me. Same thing went for Laura. She hooked me up with most of my girlfriends in high school.

After high school we did go our own ways. Although we talked about going to the same school, our scholarship offers didn't match up. But, we did stay in close contact by phone. Laura ended up in medical school where she met her husband Ray. They now both work at a family practice in the next suburb from where I am living. I still get together with Laura frequently and talk to her by phone every day. She still serves as my closest confidant. To this day, she is closer to me than my own sister.

Naturally, when the shit hit the fan with Anne, Laura was the first person I called. She commiserated with me, and shared my anger at Anne's betrayal. She also provided the counterpoint advice to my boss Joe, who was urging me to go for Anne's jugular in the divorce.

The defining moment came about three weeks after Anne left. I had hired the lawyer that Joe had suggested, and had met with him a number to times to go over my priorities and concerns. If he was going to represent me in the divorce he needed to be made aware that my primary concern was the girls. I wanted custody. I was sure that this was going to be one of the biggest areas of conflict between Anne and me.

The prognosis he gave to me wasn't good. The local Courts were notorious for favoring the mother in custody disputes. It didn't mater if the father was active in the care of the children or not. If the mother was "fit", she was typically awarded custody. It seemed that the best I could hope for was a permissive visitation schedule.

The other alternative that he gave me, was to get nasty and drag Anne through the mud. My only hope of getting custody was to totally trash Anne. If I wanted to have a shot at getting awarded custody, I would have to make her out to be a totally unfit mother.

He was suggesting that I sue for divorce based on the affair, and put forward every nasty piece of evidence that Claire Johnson had discovered. The idea was to show that Anne's continuing relationship with Johnson would put the girls at risk. He also wanted to allege that Anne had abandoned the girls by leaving the household. In other words, to get any shot at custody, I would have to destroy Anne's relationship with the girls.

It was a sign of my desperation and mindset that I did not reject his idea out of hand but had told him that I would think about it.

I was having lunch with Laura, and gloomily telling her about his ideas. It wasn't that the idea of trashing Anne sounded good. I was uncomfortable with it, but I didn't see a choice. I really didn't want to get the girls involved, but my war with Anne had deteriorated to the point where I needed to fight her on this, just because I knew she wanted custody. I wasn't thinking about what was right or wrong anymore, just about how to beat her.

Thank God that Laura was there to set me straight. Laura had heard all about my feud with Anne. She had been told about every grievance big and small and had heard loving detail about how I had paid Anne back. But my consideration of the custody fight was the last straw.

Laura was fed up.

"Have you had enough yet?" She asked tartly looking at me in annoyance.

"What do you mean?"

"This vendetta of yours. Don't you think its time for you to grow up and get over this petty childishness?"

I couldn't help it. I put on my best whiny child's voice, "She started it!"

Laura groaned at my sally, and grinned in exasperation.

"Oh no, not this time. You're not getting off the hook that easy. Look, Junior, I've sat here and heard you bitch and moan for the last three weeks about Anne and what she did to you. Well, it's time to grow up, and get over it. Stop reacting and start thinking!"

It wasn't until that point that I realized that Laura was trying to be serious. I had thought she was just kidding me, trying to get my mind off my troubles. Laura looked at me seriously.

"Bill, I know you're angry, and you're hurting. You have a right to be. I'm angry with Anne too. But, for God's sake, don't let your emotions push you into a corner that you can't get out of. I know it's hard, but you've got to think about the future, not the past."

I must have looked confused because she continued softly. "Look, just because your marriage is toast, it doesn't mean you have to destroy each other in the divorce. It's not too late to change what your life will be like after the divorce is over. Think about it. How do you want to end up in a few years? Do you really want to end up a bitter bastard like Joe? Do you really want to get to the point where you and Anne are at each other's throats constantly?

"I hate to tell you this, but that is where you are heading. The way you and Anne are acting, you're almost to the point of no return. You're both letting your anger get to you, and its causing both of you to play hardball. If it doesn't stop soon, you'll end up hating each other just like Joe hates his ex. If that happens, the only ones who are going to end up with any money at the end of your divorce are the lawyers.

"Besides, what about the girls? How is a nasty divorce going to affect them? How often does Joe get to see his kids?" I shook my head uneasily. Joe was lucky to see his son and daughter twice a year, and was always complaining about the roadblocks his ex was throwing up, to make regular visitations impossible.

Laura must have seen the anguish in my face as she went on gently. "Do you want that to happen to you? Hell, would you really want to do that to Anne either? If you trash Anne in the divorce the way this shyster is asking you to, the only guaranteed result is that someone's going to get hurt badly, and the most likely candidates are Sarah and Lacey.

"There's no way that you would be able to keep them from finding out about what happened. A fight is going to force them to choose sides. They are going to see you blaming Anne for the divorce. Anne is going to try to get back at you, and make you out to be the villain. There's a good chance that they're going to end up hating someone and they are going to end up being pawns in this little feud you have going on. It's a no win situation for everyone.

"When you told Anne that first night that the girls needed both parents, that might have been the last smart thing you said. Can't you see what you and Anne are doing? This isn't just about you and her. What about Sarah and Lacey? They're going to need both of you in the future!"

I grimaced at Laura. She had hit my weak spot and she knew it. Accusing me of hurting the kids was the one sure way of getting my attention. As she looked at my reaction, she nodded in satisfaction. She had given voice to the doubts that I had been feeling ever since I left the lawyer's office.

"So what do you want me to do?" I demanded miserably. "Give up and let Anne have custody and hope that she is willing to give me visitation rights? It's a no win situation."

Laura shook her head. "There is another choice but that asshole lawyer of yours doesn't see it. All he knows how to do is fight and claw. Ray's been talking to a friend of his and he asked if you had considered sharing custody. The Court's will go for it if the parties are willing to work together. I think you and Anne have a chance at cooperating, but it's got to start now!