Fool's Gold Ch. 01

"Call off the feud before it's too late." She urged. "You need to take the first step, and ask for a truce. Maybe if you and Anne sit down and discuss things like adults, you can come up with a solution you both can tolerate. You both love those girls to death and you both are exceptional parents. If you two can manage to be civil to each other for a few hours, I think you can come to a solution."

Laura smiled. "After all, the one thing you two still agree upon is the girls' welfare. If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for them!"

I mumbled some comment about thinking about it. Her idea gave me a hope that I hadn't had before, but I didn't want to get too excited until I knew if it was a real possibility. At a minimum, it was worth a call to my lawyer to find out more about shared custody.

Laura had given me a lot to think about so I tried to shift the remainder of our conversation to something innocuous, but Laura wouldn't let me. She wasn't quite done yet in meddling with my life. She had just gotten up a full head of steam.

"Now for the rest of it. Heather called the other day. She's worried about you. The girls are worried about you. Hell even Ray is worried about you. When are you going to get your head out of your ass and stop moping around?

"You're getting divorced. So what? Deal with it! It's not the end of the world. You've got to get on with your life. Focus on the future, and not the past. You've got to plan ahead," she urged. "Think about the future. Instead of letting this divorce turn you into a bitter wreck like Joe who can't trust anyone, try to think of the bright side."

"What bright side?" I interrupted morosely.

"Well, for one thing, if you play your cards right, you'll end up with more pussy than you can imagine." She stated bluntly.

I looked at her in amazement. She always could find a way to shock and surprise me, but this one came from left field. Sure when we were younger sex and dating had been a frequent topic of conversation. She had supported me in my first feeble attempts to explore the mysteries of the opposite sex. In a way, she had been my "mole" in the strange and mysterious camp of all things female. She had given me practical advice on the types of things that I could do to attract and keep a girl's attention. I had tried to do the same for her as she tried to understand boys.

But we had stopped playing that game by the time we were fifteen. She had done it again. First she gives me a well-deserved kick in the ass, for playing with my girls' future, now she's giving me advice for the lovelorn. What was next? Was she going to get back into arranging dates for me?

She noted my expression and smiled.

"I figured that would get your attention." She said dryly. "You've got to look at this as an opportunity. How many divorcee's and widows our age are there at the club? How many guys do you know who've thrown away perfectly good marriages, for a piece of young tail? They're all just waiting for you."

Laura snorted in amusement. "Hell, some of them are champing at the bit. As soon as word got out about your split with Anne, I had a couple of my friends ask me about you. Off the top of my head I can give you half a dozen names of women that would love to comfort you."

I must've looked doubtful because she shook her head in exasperation. "Don't you get it? A lot of women are in the same boat you're in. Their husbands cheated or they got dumped for some trophy wife. A lot of them are just looking for someone that they can relate to, someone who knows what they went through, someone they can trust.

"You're the answer to their dreams. You are a trustworthy guy who might be in the market for a dependable woman. Not only that, you're in good shape, and you're half way decent looking." She laughed. "Give them half a chance and they'll eat you up!"

I laughed with her, albeit bitterly.

"Right I'm a sex god, that's why Anne decided she needed to go fuck Alan Johnson. You're so full of shit, Asshole." I muttered. "I bet all your friends are just laughing at the cuckolded bastard."

Laura just shook her head in mock derision. "You stupid, stupid man. You are wrong in so many different ways that it's hard to know where to begin."

She sighed theatrically. "Alright, let's start with the thing that obviously seems to be bothering you the most: Your pride. Is your ego really that fragile? Do you honestly believe that everyone is going to be laughing at you because Anne fucked around on you? Get over it! Not only don't these women care, half of them know exactly what you are going through. Believe me; they've probably gone through worse self image problems than you ever will.

"I hate to bust your bubble, Junior, but chances are sex had nothing to do with why Anne had her affair. Did Anne ever complain about sex? Unlike guys, most women don't have affairs just because they're looking for something strange in the sack. There is usually some other reason that gets the ball rolling and the sex is a result, not the cause.

"So don't get all worried about whether Anne left you because you were bad in the sack. This has nothing to do with your ability to make a girl see stars. Hell, if you remembered half of the stuff that I told you about when we were younger, you're better than most guys I've heard about. For what it's worth, I'm almost positive you're better than a self-centered prick like Johnson.

"You may not be a sex god, but who says you have to be? The women that you are going to be interested in are much more interested in what's here," Laura pointed to her head "and here," then she pointed to her chest, "than what you're packing down here." At this she pointed to his crotch. "You have nothing to worry about.

"I love you, Twin, but sometimes you can be a dunce. What in the hell do you really think that these women are looking for? Do you honestly believe that they're just looking for some quick sex? Women our age are looking for more than that. They want someone nice, someone they can feel comfortable being with. They want someone who is interested in them as a whole person, not just as a pussy to use and discard. They want a little romance, and someone to make them feel better about themselves.

"You fit the bill on all counts. You're a nice guy, clean, honest, and dependable. You have a good job, and you're usually somewhat intelligent. You can even manage to hold up your end of a conversation. That's why my friends want to meet you. If you turn out to be good in the sack, that's just a bonus."

Laura went on intently. "No one is going to think less of you because Anne left you. Hell, the hardest part is going to be to keep a date from turning into a 'trash the ex' session. If you tell them about it, all they'll think is that Anne was a bitch for cheating on you, and a fool for letting you go.

"And they'd be right!" Laura stated bluntly. "Anne's a fool and she's going to figure it out before too long. The best part is, if you really want to make her pay you don't have to do anything but be yourself. She may not know it yet, but I'll bet you a case of wine that she's going to be miserable in a few years."

Her pep talk had raised my spirits a little and I definitely perked up at her last statement. She noticed and gave an evil little chuckle and leaned forward.

"Think about it. She was jealous and suspicious of you, just for hiring a young assistant. How's she going to deal with a slime bucket that she knows will go out and cheat on his wife? It's only a matter of time before he cheats on her, too, and she knows it. She gave you up for a pile of fool's gold.

"So you see you don't have to make yourself miserable in the divorce to pay her back. If you really want to make her regret what she did, just go on with your life, and be yourself. You can afford to be civil to her because you are set to have your cake and eat it too. You might get to survive this divorce, and actually have some fun with your life, too."

For the rest of the lunch, we shifted our conversation to easier topics and rattled on about what the kids were doing, but she had given me a lot to think about. I excused myself to go call my lawyer. After our conversation where he somewhat grudgingly admitted the concept of shared custody, I finished work early and went home to take a walk with the kids.

As I sat at the park, watching them fool around on the swings, I thought back over what Laura had said. She had made a lot of sense. She was dead on about the risks involved in fighting custody. I would end up in a crapshoot, where someone was going to lose and there was no real assurance that I would win. My only hope was if I was willing to commit to go all out in trying to destroy Anne.

But, did I really want to take that route? More to the point, was I even capable of doing what it would take? The past few weeks had been hard on the girls, and that was with a lot of contact with their mother. I hadn't tried to stop them from getting together. I had encouraged it because I could see that it helped them to adjust to what was going on.

It was time for me to take a long hard look at my motivations. Was I demanding sole custody because it was best for the girls or because I wanted to pay Anne back? Had I lost focus on the girls in my efforts to get back at Annie? I hated her for what she had done to us, but she was a good mother, and the girls were going to need her. If I was honest with myself, there was no way that I could meet all of their needs as they grew up.

By the same token, Anne had the same problem. There were things that they were going to need their Daddy for, too. The girls needed and deserved two parents. I owed it to them to do my best to see that they got us both. If that meant that I needed to call a truce and try to work with Anne to arrange for some type of joint or shared custody, then so be it. In the scheme of things, my love for Lacey and Sarah far outweighed any satisfaction I might get from destroying Anne.

Later that night, I developed a greater appreciation for why feuds can last for years or even generations. Objectively, I had made my decision. It was in my best interest and in the girl's best interest to set down the hatchet and try to make peace with Anne.

The problem was that this involved swallowing my pride and calling her. I was still angry with her and, on some level I knew that she was angry at me too. I'd certainly given her enough reasons over the past few weeks. I couldn't count on her to be the first one to ask for a truce. If I wanted it to happen, it was up to me to make the first step. Besides, her attorney was probably telling her that she was likely to get custody anyway.

But despite what my brain was telling me, there was this angry voice in my head telling me not to do it. She was the one that had broken up the marriage. She should be the one that comes crawling to me. It wasn't fair to require me to apologize and ask for peace. It was my right to demand satisfaction, to pay her back for everything she had done to me.

In the end, I made the call. My love for the girls outweighed my pride. If it took an apology to resolve the issue, then I could deal with it. But it was the hardest thing I have ever done.

When Anne answered her cell phone, the caller ID told her that it was me calling.

"What do you want?" She demanded brusquely.

"Hi," I answered shortly. "I've been thinking. Can we meet somewhere tomorrow to talk? Things between us have been getting out of hand and I was hoping we could meet to calm things down."

"What type of shit are you trying to pull now?" She asked suspiciously.

Internally I sighed and swallowed the angry retort that sprang to mind.

"Nothing. It's just that Laura rubbed my nose in the fact that our battles are beginning to affect the girls, and if we continue, it's bound to get worse. I don't think that either of us wants that. I'd like to call a truce to see if we can settle things civilly. Our marriage was a partnership for fifteen years. We should be able to get along for long enough to figure out what we are going to do. We owe it to the girls."

"I don't know," Anne responded doubtfully. "My lawyer told me not to."

"Anne, I'm not going to try to ram something down your throat. Hell, you've got as much experience in negotiation as I do. I'm not going to take advantage of you. I'm just trying to see if we can get through this divorce without hating each other's guts. I'm just trying to avoid some pain, that's all."

"What do you mean?" She responded slowly.

I sighed. This was going pretty much as expected. In the period of three short weeks, the wall between us had built up to the point where she wasn't willing to take anything I said at face value.

"What I'm saying is that for the girls' sake, I hope we can keep this divorce from getting too nasty. I want to see if we can come to some type of agreement on sharing custody. Shit, my attorney is going to kill me for telling you this, but he's warned me that if we fight over custody, things are going to get real ugly."

"What..." She screeched.

"If I want to get custody of the girls, he told me that I'm going to have to trash you and use all the evidence of your affair that I can get my hands on." I said with trepidation.

"Are you threatening me?" She demanded angrily.

"No. No," I stated hastily. "You know how I feel. Sarah and Lacey need both of us. That's why I'm calling you. I know that we both want to have custody, and I don't want this to cause us to go for each other's throats. That's what I want to talk to you about. A friend of Ray's suggested that we might want to look at a compromise by sharing custody. I just want to talk to you to see if this is a possibility. I don't want to make the girls choose sides."

Anne continued to make angry noises while I continued my efforts to placate her. Oddly enough, I had some empathy for how she was feeling. On some level she must have felt that I was using the threat of exposing the affair as a club. Her reaction couldn't be that much different from the surprise and anger I felt when she pulled the divorce on me. I knew it was going to take a while for her to calm down and think about what I had said.

"Just do me a favor and think about it, ok? All I'm asking is that we get together to talk about it. That's all I want. Give me a call back in a few days. In the meantime, I promise no more nasty surprises. I'm calling a cease-fire on our little feud."

I got her reluctant agreement, and hung up. Now that I had started the ball rolling, I had to do some serious thinking on what I was willing to offer Annie, in exchange for shared custody. When it came right down to it, she held most of the cards. The one option I had was a "nuclear" option I wasn't sure I was willing to play. I had to come up with a proposal that both Anne and I could live with. It wasn't going to be everything I wanted, but that is what compromise is all about.

The biggest issue was going to be housing. I wanted to share physical custody. But the only way to make this work was if we both lived in the same school district. Otherwise, there could be difficulties in getting the girls to and from school. In reality, this would probably mean that I would have to give Annie the house.

Although I had put my foot down about not leaving the house three weeks ago, the truth of the matter was that I didn't really care if I stayed in the house or not. I just wasn't going to get pushed out on someone else's terms. I had no problem with Anne moving back into the house, just so long as she kept Johnson away from the girls, at least until after the divorce. If that was what it took to make things work, I'd move out tomorrow.

After all, I did have an ace up my sleeve. Sometimes, it pays to work for an architectural firm. I had great contacts with all the local contractors and real estate agents. Enough of them owed me favors that it wouldn't be hard for me to find some place to live.

I put that on my list of 'things to do right away'. I wanted to have an option in place, by the time Annie and I talked.