For the Sake of an Empire Ch. 09

Slender fingers reached out slowly, tracing the air above the various scars on his bold. Some were flat and almost white against his skin, others still a pale fresh pink. The bandage on his upper left arm needed to be changed again, the linen stained where he had bled through. Yet even with every flaw, he was beautiful, a man far different than her memories.

She remembered a man who had always mistrusted her as much as she had despised him. When he had left Celaenia she had seen it as her moment to make every distant dream a reality. She had thought to gain her father's confidence and to prove to him and the High Council that she was the ruler they needed. But it had never occurred. Instead she had been sold into a marriage she did not want, her dreams of ruling her country farther away than they had ever been.

Until Marcus returned.

She had thought that his return had been a curse from the gods. She'd believed it would mean an end to everything she had planned and that he would do everything in his power to ensure that she would not take the throne. Yet tonight her eyes had been opened. His return was not a curse, but a gift.

She knew he suspected her involvement in the death of her father and the attempt on his own life. It was written across his face whenever he looked at her, silent accusation in the lingering looks that might have been flattering from other men. He was not a foolish man. She knew that he had heard Sirrus's words clearly on the cliff. All of his men had heard him. He could have decided her fate on those cliffs. The High Council would never have suspected him if he had said that Sirrus had murdered her before they had reached him. The only people who would have known the truth would have been him and his men. She knew that if he had given the order to end her life, they would have.

He had let her live.

Not out of love or passion, but because of honor. He was a man who lived his life by a code of ethics that he would not sacrifice no matter what the personal cost to himself. He had proven that tonight.

Her expression softened as he moaned in his sleep, her hand hesitating over his brow with a gentleness that felt foreign to her. His sense of honor was the way to the throne and to her dreams. She had found his one weakness.

He would protect her if he felt it was his duty.

He would marry her if he felt he had no other choice.

He would be hers if she carried his child...

"I love you, Marcus," Aurelia murmured. Marcus couldn't see her expression with her face buried against his shoulder, but he could feel the emotion behind the words as his arms slid around her, crushing her to his body. He buried his face into the thickness of her hair, breathing in deeply. She smelled like roses and spring water, the scent of the springtime clinging to her. Startled, he looked up. The desert had melted away around them, leaving green flowering fields and flowing brooks that beckoned gently. In the distance he saw a small house with a thatched roof, cooled by the shade of the willow trees surrounding it.

She smiled at his confusion, her hands sliding over his. "I told you. This is a gift from the gods, a taste of what you will have in the next life if you can survive this one and complete your destiny."

"This looks like home," he murmured.

"That is because it will be one day. But not now. You can only have this peace when the weavers decide to cut the strings of your life and that will not be for many years. First you must take the throne and lead a long and happy life ruling your country." She paused, her smile gentle, as radiant as the sunshine warm on his face.

"I want you to lead a long and prosperous life, Marcus. Lead the people well, marry again. Have sons and daughters to succeed you."

"I cannot do that."

"Of course you can. Life is for the living, Marcus. If you are not going to experience all that life has to offer you, it is all for nothing." She smiled, dark eyes glittering with unshed tears as she brushed his lips with her fingertips. "I now you love me still but all I can be now is a memory. You will not sully it by loving another. I will still be here. We will still be here..."

She trailed off, smiling as she stepped back. She extended one arm out, looking over her shoulder at something she couldn't see. His eyes narrowed, his breath catching when he heard childish laughter. When Aurelia turned back to face him, he slid to his knees heavily. He couldn't speak around the lump that formed in his throat when he met mirror images of his own eyes. His son smiled, unaware of the overwhelming emotion that could bring a hardened general to his knees.

"Adrian?"

"Hello father. Mother said we would see you again one day."

Marcus didn't speak, the fierceness of his embrace speaking for him as he crushed the child to his chest. His hand supported the little boy's head, breathing in the clean scent of his skin as he pressed kisses to every inch of his face till he giggled and squirmed away. His expression was open and guileless as he rested his one hand on his father's shoulders, the other touching the damp tracks on his face.

"You should not be sad, Father. Mother says we have to be happy because then it makes you happy. We like it when you're happy too." He smiled over at Aurelia as she knelt beside them and she nodded, meeting Marcus's eyes.

"We all do."

Marcus followed her gaze upward to see Felix and his Uncle standing there. He stood slowly, keeping his son's hand firmly in his. "Uncle...I..."

The elderly man shook his head to cut him off, his hands firm on Marcus's shoulders. "There is no need for words, my son. We all know what is in your heart. We have always known. It is time to embrace your destiny, Marcus."

"Forgive me, Uncle for not seeing my fate clearly."

"Hindsight is what makes us human, Marcus." He paused, glancing at Felix who nodded.

"He is right, Marcus. You have the opportunity to make things right now. Take the throne and lead the people. You know in your heart that Portia is not the path to its happiness." He smiled and saluted from the waist out. "It was a pleasure serving you, General. Lead them well."

Marcus returned the salute then squatted down to look into his son's face. One hand smoothed back his hair, trying to brand his image into his memory as he was now and as he would be forever. "Know that I love you more than my life. I will see you again one day."

The little boy smiled. "I know. Goodbye father."

He threw his arms around marcus's neck, hanging on tightly for a moment. Marcus's eyes closed as he kissed the top of his head and then reluctantly released him. Aurelia came to his side, her hand slipping into his as Adrian ran towards Felix's retreating figure. His laughter hung in the air as Felix swung him up onto his shoulders, both of them disappearing around the bend. His uncle lingered for a moment.

"Enjoy the time you have, Marcus and know that I have never been prouder to call you my son."

Marcus blinked back the hot sting of tears when Aurelia touched his face to bring his attention back to her. His uncle had vanished as had the green fields around them. They were standing in his old home, in the bedroom they had once shared. Aurelia's gown had changed to a sheer white shift that welcomed his hungry gaze.

"I have missed you so much. There is so much I must say to you. I..."

She cut off his words with a gentle finger laid over his lips. Her lips parted into a smile as she replaced her touch with the caress of her mouth. Her kiss was gentle, forgiving of every sin he had committed. He slid his hand into the softness of her hair, cradling her head as he angled her mouth for his kiss. She tasted like honey and the desire she had always inspired in him. Every touch from her hands brought back memories of their bodies joined, tangled together in their bed. He remembered the gentle scratch of her nails along his spine, driving him mad with passion. He groaned into her mouth now when her hands moved down his back, cupping the firm flesh of his buttocks with her palms, claiming him as hers as much as she was his.

He pulled back for a moment to stare into her face. Calloused thumbs moved gently over her cheeks, wiping away her tears. She smiled and moved willingly back into his kiss, his name sighed as he enjoyed the soft heat of her lips and the damp pleasure of her mouth. His tongue flicked against her bottom lip, dipping inside of her mouth to taste her passion. They had been apart for far too long and now that he had her in his arms, he would not let go until the gods parted them.

The downy mattress sank gently beneath her weight as Portia climbed into the bed beside Marcus. Her intent had been to seduce him when he was most vulnerable from the loss of Felix and Gemella, but now she hesitated when she saw the peace that settled across his face as if his dreams had taken him to a place that he could never find when he was awake. It was the one time she had ever seen him completely at rest and she found herself reluctant to change that.

She had never expected to feel such things for any man, much less for Marcus, a man she had almost destroyed. He had always been an obsession, but from the moment he had picked her up in his arms and carried her away from the horrors of the night, he had become her passion. She had finally found a man who was strong enough to be her consort. He could make her every dream come true if she could only convince him.

Wealth could not. The allure of her body had failed, but could he deny the blood of his own loins?

Marcus was a man of honor. She knew that he would marry her if she conceived his child, but would he forgive her deceit? She hesitated for a moment longer and then allowed her shift to slip to the floor in a whisper of silk as she settled carefully beside him. He would have to forgive her. She could accept not less. She wanted to be with him and if she carried his child, there would always be a part of him that loved her as well.

Portia leaned over him, her long hair tumbling over her shoulders to graze the strong lines of his chest. He looked much younger when he dreamed, the cares and worries of his world no longer on his shoulders in slumber. His lashes were thick, brushing his dark cheeks, lips wide and sensually shaped.

She could smell wine on his breath, betraying the source of his deep slumber. The flavor still clung to his lips as she brushed her mouth over his, learning the shape of his mouth, contouring it gently with the tip of her tongue.

Aurelia moaned into his mouth as his kisses deepened, devouring her mouth with the pent up passion within him. Her hands traced the muscle in his arm and shoulders, encouraging him silently to posses her. He could feel the urgency in her hands as she helped him to pull his tunic over his head and toss it to the side. His hands moved over her shoulders, her skin softer than the silk straps he pushed down to send her shift pooling to the floor.

She moaned as his hands lifted her into his arms, encouraging her quaking limbs to wrap around his hips. Her arms twined around his neck as he walked towards the bed, her tongue sliding against his with an urgency that assured him she needed to feel him buried inside that sweet heat he had been too long denied as much as he did.

He bore her down gently onto the downy mattress, easing her back as his body covered hers. He wanted to thrust into her until he was as deep as his body allowed, butting up against the entrance to her womb with every stroke. He needed to reclaim her body, to convince himself that at least for this night, she was his and that not even death could separate them.

When her hands touched his face, he lingered for a moment, enjoying the smooth warmth of her fingers tracing the curve of his jaw. Her gentleness calmed him, reminding him that they had only this moment and he wanted it to last for as long as the gods granted it to him. His hand cupped the back of her neck as he bore her to the ground, the sand a warm blanket beneath them.

He explored her lips, holding her a willing captive with one hand, the other stroking the length of her spine, tracing with his fingertips from the base of her neck to the rounded curve of her bottom, creating a path of goosebumps along her skin. She moaned beneath his mouth, his lips sweet and tantalizing, tempting and coaxing when he knew they didn't need to be. She wanted to be with him and would have accepted his primal instincts, but he held back. He took his time, branding the taste of her mouth across his heart.

Aurelia slid slender fingers into his hair, curving them to trace the whorl of his ear, before sliding down the side of his neck and back up as he shifted. Her gaze was loving, cheeks flushing with awareness as he nipped a gentle line down the slender column of her throat, nuzzling the warm hollow at the base. It was a warm resting place for his tongue and her body arched in welcome when he blew across the dampness left there.

She breathed his name as he moved down her body with the familiarity of years between them. He watched her eyes close in pleasure as he gently rubbed his stubbled cheek against the softness of her skin, sensitizing it to his touch. The warmth that moved through her skin pleased him as he covered every inch with kisses. When he breached her breasts, his palms traced over them once, making her arch. They were warm and full, filling his hand perfectly, reminding him of all he had missed.

Lips replaced hands in his exploration as he nuzzled between her breasts, her cries reaching his ears when she felt the damp heat of his mouth cover one stiff, dusky peak. "Marcus!" she cried out, her hands going to his head, feeling the firm tug of his mouth all the way to her womb. His teeth nibbled and she arched beneath him, pulling him tighter against her so he could feel the damp heat that was spreading, slipping down her leg to moisten his skin.

Marcus's eyes darkened with desire as he moved down her body, watching her face as his fingers trailed through the warm, springy curls covering her most intimate pleasure. Her pupils dilated with pleasurable anticipation, knowing what he was going to do next when his tongue curved around her belly button and then moved down a kiss at a time. He had always enjoyed lingering between her thighs, drinking in her cried as his tongue and lips drunk of her sex.

"Tell me," he murmured.

She knew exactly what he wanted to hear and her fingers threaded through his hair, her expression gentling even in the midst of her passion. "I love you, Marcus."

Portia cried out the words he asked for as Marcus dipped his head, sliding his tongue through the wet channel of her sex, tasting the sweetness of her nectar with a soft growl of masculine pleasure. Her heat surrounded him, the silky texture of her skin as arousing as her taste. He was drowning in her and wasn't willing to let the pleasure end.

Portia's eyes rolled back as his arms slid beneath her thighs, his shoulders holding her open to his questing lips and tongue, dominating her in ways she had never allowed another man to. She moaned as his tongue found the tight bud of her pleasure, teasing it between his lips and teeth till she thought she would sob from the overwhelming sensations. Her skin was flushed from his attention, her breath quickening with every caress that had set her body aflame.

She had been unable to keep from exploring his body when he had moaned in his sleep and his body had hardened in response to whatever he was dreaming. She had urged that growth between her lips and tongue when she had sucked him into her throat. He had felt firm and foreign against her tongue, the flavor of his skin making her hungrier for more.

When his eyes had opened, her breath had caught, fearful that he would waken and throw her from his bed. But those gray depths had been unfocused and unseeing, his thoughts muddled with grief and too much to drink. He looked at her and saw only the specters he wanted to When had murmured the name of another she had pretended it was hers as she arched in his arms.

His eyes were closed now as he slid one hand between them, cupping her mound. Portia's fingers tightened in his hair as his thumb slid through silky black curls before dipping into her body which tightened in welcome, trying to pull him deeper. She moved restlessly beneath him, needing more than this gentleness that pricked at her conscience like no other act ever had. She knew he wasn't seeing her, wasn't experiencing her. He was making love to a ghost. It was in Aurelia's arms that he was finding solace in, her womb that he wanted to fill with his seed.

He loved Aurelia like he would never love her.

The surprising pain that realization brought to her heart was lost in the wave of pleasure that swept through her body when he moved his hand and pushed two fingers in deeper. Lips and hands worked together to bring her to that shining moment when there was no guilt, no deceit, only pleasure that for a moment could make everything seem right.

She sobbed his name as her orgasm swept over her, heat spiraling through her core in wave after wave until her body collapsed beneath his. Her nerve endings felt over-sensitized, every inch of her body aware of him as he brushed kissed along that tingling bud and back up her taut belly.

Her throat tightened as the backs of his fingers brushed across her cheek, wiping away the tears that trickled silently down her skin. He consoled her without words, his mouth covering hers with so much emotion that it stabbed like a knife through her belly. She had never experienced that depth of feeling for anyone in her life. She had cared for Sirrus in her way but she had never tasted such devotion on his lips or felt her heart swell to bursting like this.

He kissed her like he couldn't bear to lose her, passion and desperation all tangled together into something so complicated her head spun. For one moment she considered pulling away from him and making him sober to see the truth. She wanted him to see her for who she was, not for the ideal that was ash and dust.

This is the only way to save your country, Portia. You know it now just as you knew it when you planned to seduce him. You wanted to make him love you.

But not love him in return.

Her arms twined around his neck as his hand slid through her hair. She felt him slide up her body, teasing the downy skin on her inner thighs with the wide curved head of his shaft. She moaned into his mouth, teasing his lips with her breath when he pressed against her opening. She was soaked to her knees already and the anticipation only made her wetter for him.

Marcus felt Aurelia's distress and sought to comfort her with his lips and body. She feared losing him as much as he feared waking from this dream. He could not assuage all of her fears, but he could make her forget them for a time by distracting her with his love. He was determined to make it so as he kissed away the dampness on her cheeks and then brushed kisses over her cheeks and each of her closed eyelids.

"Ssh," he murmured, one hand cradling her cheek, the other moving gently over her breasts and belly which was as flat now as it had been before the birth of their son, not after when it had been a gentle slope he had loved to rest his head on. Something about that bothered him, as if there was some importance to it. But he didn't stop to question, her peace more important to him than his own.

"Do not cry, love. We are together now. If only for this moment, for this night, you are mine and I am yours. I will love you till the ends of time. I swear that to you."