Freak the Freak Out

The tears in his eyes spilled over and ran down his face. He gently kissed her one last time and left. As he pulled away from her some of his tears fell onto her face causing her to wake up. By the time she became conscious, he was gone. She was still too drunk to get up so she fell back asleep, thinking she'd dreamed that Darren had been there and crying.

Darren checked into a motel. He fell asleep on the hard and lumpy mattress in his room. He tossed and turned all night. He was conflicted. On one hand he loved Melissa so much, that it hurt him to know that she had just gone out and fucked some guy. There was simply no way he could get over that.

On the other hand, he had enjoyed kissing Jessica. It wasn't anything like the kisses he'd had with Melissa for the last ten years. Jessica put everything she had into kissing him. Her kisses seemed to tell him that she was giving herself to him totally. Kissing Melissa was like kissing someone over a wall. It was like there was always something between them keeping them from truly being together.

How could he love his wife, if he enjoyed kissing another woman more? It really didn't matter much though because as of tonight, he no longer had a wife.

The next morning Darren called in and told his secretary that he was taking a couple of days off to sort out some personal problems.

He called his attorney and got a copy of his divorce papers. There were two sets. One set listing adultery as the cause and the other, mental abuse and cruelty. Darren still hadn't decided how to file. Ryan told him that neither cause mattered. They were only after the best settlement and Darren's freedom.

Darren felt badly about trying to leave Melissa homeless defenseless and destitute. He wanted to give her at least enough money to survive on while she got her life back together.

Ryan assured him that they'd actually negotiate the settlement with Melissa and her attorneys. But if they started from an absolute scorched earth position, when they gave up a few breadcrumbs so Melissa and her attorney could save face, they'd still win.

Ryan also reminded him that Melissa had treated him like shit for over ten years so there was no reason for him to feel sorry for her. On some level she deserved it.

Melissa awoke feeling really sad and with a huge headache. She knew she shouldn't have drunk so much last night. The drinking was the reason for the headache. She couldn't put her finger on the reason for the profound sadness she felt.

Sure her marriage was on the rocks, but she was sure that it could be saved. She knew that she'd treated Darren badly but she was only trying to protect herself. The problem was that she'd realized over the last few days that her protection had failed.

She loved Darren deeply, but simply didn't understand how to tell him. She'd been locked in a pattern for so long that breaking it was hard. Would it be harder to lose him? She asked herself, that and about a hundred other questions as she sat on the couch.

She decided to take a shower and just take him to lunch so they could finally talk about their problems. Over the past day or so he'd stopped accepting her calls but if she just showed up there was no way he could avoid her.

As soon as she got to their bedroom, it all fell apart. She noticed that all of Darren's drawers were hanging open. His closet was also severely depleted. Many of his favorite business suits were gone. In the bathroom, she saw that his shaving kit and all of his toiletries were missing.

They were all still there when he left last night and she had never left the house. She tried to focus on what had happened. God damn it she would never drink again.

Right after Darren had left her, after telling her not to bring whoever she was fucking home, she had been so angry she'd started drinking. On some levels what Darren had said to her in his anger was funny. If only he knew how stupid he was.

The part about not letting the guy she was fucking into their house was hilarious. He was the only guy she was fucking. She had only been with two men in her entire life. That asshole Ryan back in college, the one who had fucked up her head so badly that it was still affecting her now. The second man was Darren himself. She'd let a couple of men at the club feel on her boobs outside of her clothing, but that was all. Anyone who even tried to touch her outside of her clothing below the waist was rebuffed. Darren was such a fool. She only started telling him all of that stuff about screwing some guy to keep him jealous and keep her in control.

Still, there was something funny going on. There was a voice in the back of her head telling her that she was in danger, or there was something she'd overlooked. As she looked at the couch she saw her panties dangling over the back, she'd taken them off after she started drinking. Then she'd been so horny that she had used her fingers and relieved herself. She'd been thinking of Darren licking her pussy and fucking her. She'd fallen asleep thinking that as soon as he came in, they were going to settle this once and for all.

That was when she'd remembered. Darren did come home last night. She remembered him kissing her and she vaguely remembered him crying about something.

Maybe he was crying for being stupid enough to believe that she was fucking somebody else.

Suddenly her phone rang and she staggered over to answer it. It was Helen and she was screaming at her.

"Helen, please stop yelling at me, I have a headache. You only live a few miles down the road. Why don't you just come over instead of screaming at me over the phone," she said.

Melissa went up the stairs and took a shower. She put on a pair of casual pants and a nice blouse. She didn't bother putting on any make-up because she was going to change clothes before she went to lunch with Darren.

She let Helen in when the doorbell rang.

"You look like hammered shit," said Helen.

"Thank you so much, Helen. That's why you're my best friend," snapped Melissa. "You always cheer me up."

"If I'm your best friend, why don't you ever listen to me instead of the sluts?" asked Helen. "I really hope you're proud of yourself. But let me ask you something, who are you going to find that's better?"

Melissa looked at Helen with a confused look on her face.

"I mean don't get me wrong, I'm happy for my sister. If you're stupid enough to do this, I hope things work out well for her and Darren. It's you I'm wondering about."

"Helen...Whuh?"asked Melissa.

"Let me finish. You always listen to the sluts. This time I'd like to have my say," said Helen. "I know that I'm older than you guys are and chunkier, and probably not as pretty. But you guys will be where I am in a few years. When I was younger I was even wilder than you are. And I was married at the time. My husband George and I both experimented a bit. Usually drugs were involved."

Helen looked at the floor. "Melissa, I got high and let another man fuck me. George couldn't get over it. I thought we were going to get a divorce. A friend of ours convinced George that he should have sex with someone else to balance the scales. After he did, and he did it with one of my friends things still weren't the same. George said it was because he'd done it with my knowledge and consent, and in my case he hadn't had a choice."

"He slept with someone else, then I did. The next thing I knew we had what everyone called an open relationship. I felt more like a whore than anything else but I was stuck because the whole thing was my fault. I'd never wanted anyone other than George, it just happened while I was drunk and high. That's why I don't drink anymore, We ended up joining a swing club. I actually thought it would help us. Instead of us having affairs on the side, we went out together and had sex with other people and then came home together."

"George seemed to be happy. He was making his way through all of the women in the club at an alarming rate. And me, well, you know women can handle far more sex than men can. I was on the bottom in a threesome one night when I looked up and saw George watching me. I smiled at him and he asked me if I could get someone to take me home. He said he was tired."

"I turned to say something to one of the guys who was still trying to fuck me and I noticed that George's fake smile had slipped. He had tears in his eyes. I had never seen my husband cry ever."

"By the time I got dressed and got someone to drive me home, it was too late. When I got home there was an envelope like yours on my couch and George was gone."

"The first thing you should know is that I never wanted to have any affairs, I never wanted us to have an open marriage and I didn't want to be a swinger. I'd thought it was what George wanted. But while we were doing it, I thought that if he wanted to fuck a bunch of women, then I'd fuck a bunch of men. Just like you and the sluts, I wanted to have things even. What's good for the goose, and all of that."

"Just think, my husband had just walked in and saw three guys fucking me with two more waiting their turn. It was the first time he'd actually seen me participating. He knew what I did at the meetings and I thought I knew what he did. But this was the first time He'd actually seen me. He was shocked. What kind of man can handle seeing his wife with another man? Not one who loves her. Men are just wired to want to own and control their mates."

"The biggest shock though was mine. In the two years that we'd been having the affairs and been swinging. I had been a total fool. I read George's note and just couldn't stop crying. He had never had the affair with my friend. He just got her to lie and say that he'd slept with her, to help us get over what I had done. He'd never had any other affairs and when we went to the swing club, he'd never slept with any of the women. I later went back and verified all of it."

"George had only agreed to the swinging thing because he'd felt that he wasn't enough for me. He hoped that by me having all of the sex I wanted, maybe I'd get over it. Men have very fragile egos and he'd thought that the first time I'd gotten fucked it had been because he couldn't get me off. Actually it was because I got drunk and one of our friends who was also drunk fucked me while I was passed out."

"George had always loved me too much to ever cheat on me and I fucked man after man for two years. That night was the final straw. He'd left me to get a divorce. He was giving me everything, including the house, he just never wanted to see me again."

"I was devastated. I didn't want a divorce. And I hadn't ever wanted to sleep with a bunch of men, but it happened. I got lucky, it took a lot of crying and pleading and over five years of therapy, but George and I are still together. He's my best friend and he loves me, but it's not the same kind of love we once had."

"Our sex life is awful we sometimes go months with-out touching each other. When we do have sex, it's mechanical and it's always in the dark. I don't think he enjoys it at all, but he loves me and really wants us to be together. But I know that every time he looks at me, he sees me with those other men. And I know eventually he'll probably leave me. It's only a matter of time. And I love him so much that I think I'll die when he does."

"The swinging thing just like the control thing or the balance thing, they're all the same. They aren't real. People say that they swing to put some spice in their sex life. When we were in the swing club, I didn't notice it, but we weren't spicing up anything. George had simply stopped having sex with me. I was getting so much sex at the club that I guess it slipped my mind. The men at the club didn't love me. They didn't even know my name. Yep I had a lot of orgasms but I missed intimacy. I missed having someone look into my eyes and tell me they loved me while they fucked me and mean it."

"The only way to have control in a marriage, is to give up control. Do everything and anything you can for your spouse, and they'll do the same. If you give that person your heart totally, they won't ever need anyone else or anything else."

"The sluts are stupid. Danielle is so upset about her ex marrying someone else that she's trying to punish him by fucking other guys. But he doesn't care what she does, he's over her, and in love with his new wife. Danielle's so lonely it's pathetic. That's why she calls us and begs us to come over and to go out to the clubs all of the time. She doesn't even realize that if she keeps up what she's doing now she'll end up a lonely old whore, if she's lucky. If she's not lucky she'll die of aids or some other disease. Maybe she'll be killed or injured by some guy she picks up and fucks. She's trying to make you like her, so she won't be alone."

"Sandra, has started to try to get her life back together. She still goes out with us, but she's dating every guy she can, hoping to find a keeper. Have you noticed that her standards keep dropping? Soon her only requirement will be that he has a pulse."

"That's why I don't understand you doing this. Darren is a great guy and he loves you like crazy. Why give him up?"

"Helen thanks for your life story and your analysis of our friends, but I think you're out of your fucking mind," said Melissa. "Darren and I are still having our issues but I'm not giving up. I am going to give up some of my control, but it's not like we're getting a divorce."

"I'm going to go to his office and have lunch with him today and talk about things," said Melissa. She noticed that Helen was shaking her head.

"That isn't going to happen," said Helen. "Melissa do you remember my little sister?"

"Vaguely, the girl who sang at the club, right?" said Melissa.

"She's prettier than any us, and built better too," said Helen. "she has all of that wild brown hair that men like to play with. She has that "Wild ass, girl next door," kind of charm. Guys fall all over her and she doesn't notice. I'm jealous of her, and you're stupid."

"Why am I stupid?" asked Melissa.

"Because right now she's the one who's helping your husband get over what you did last night. She is crazy about him, and after your divorce, she may end up with him. You can't win against her."

"You and the sluts are bone thin and fashionable. Men don't like that. It makes other women jealous, but men want curves. Jessica has bigger boobs and a nicer ass, than any of you and her waist is still tiny," said Helen.

"She just painted his car for him and knocked his socks off. He wrote her a song that she loves. They are making memories every day. You and he have ten years of history, but it won't help. For most of those ten years you've been short changing him and treating him like shit."

"I guess last night was the last straw though," said Helen.

"What last straw?" asked Melissa shocked.

"Last night you went out and fucked some guy like the sluts suggested. So you could keep your control," smirked Helen.

"Last night I never left the house. I stayed here and got drunk and fell asleep on the couch," said Melissa.

"Darren called Jess, this morning and told her that you fucked some guy and stayed there on the couch so you could rub it in his face. He left you and is filing for a divorce. He was so broken up that he didn't go to work today. In fact he's going to leave town for a few days to get over all of this," said Helen.

"What should I do?" asked Melissa. She was in shock. It all made sense now.

"First off, don't let him go away. If he goes somewhere and starts thinking about things, he may decide to just cut his losses. You haven't been exactly the best wife. On the other hand if he goes off and Jessica goes with him, your ass is grass, and she's a lawn mower," said Helen. "I guarantee you, if the two of them go off to some little cabin on a lake fishing, He'll be the one who gets caught. By the time they come back, he won't even remember you, much less be broken up about you." Helen nodded her head. She knew her sister well.

"What you should do is get down on your knees and give him the best blowjob you can," said Helen. "All of that control shit is what fucked you up in the first place. Let him be in control for a while."

Melissa picked up the note that Darren had left her. She read the note while Helen ran around the house making phone calls and making some concoction in the kitchen. Helen was right about everything. Melissa began crying hysterically. She didn't want to lose Darren, but because of her controlling ways and mind games she might.

"Drink this," Helen said to Melissa. She was holding out a glass of something that looked like a green milkshake.

"What is it?" asked Melissa.

"Don't ask," said Helen. "But It'll speed up your recovery from your hangover."

Chapter 7

Darren was reeling. He didn't think he could play that God damned song one more time. He wished that he'd never written it. He also didn't belong here. These people were not his friends. They were nothing more than a gang of loosely acquainted drug addicts who liked to play music. No wonder they couldn't write their own songs. All of their brain cells were burnt out.

Then he saw Jessica smiling at him. She was like a star sapphire in a pile of shit. She outshone everything around her. He'd written that song for her, and if she wanted to sing it, that was why he was here playing the song over and over until it was perfect.

"Can we do it one more time?" asked Jessica. "I want to really work the choruses."

Darren just smiled and nodded his head. Taking the day off was a good idea. There was no way he'd have been able to work with thoughts of Melissa's betrayal running through his head.

He still couldn't wrap his mind around what he'd done wrong. He'd loved that woman with all of his heart and soul. Long after his guilt over what Ryan had done to her had faded. Long after he realized that he hadn't been responsible for what happened to her, the love continued. He'd always hoped that sooner or later she'd snap out of her own hurt and love him in return. When it didn't happen he made excuse after excuse for her. Finally he just decided that in her own way she did love him. She just wasn't very demonstrative. But it had been enough for him.

Then she started hanging out with that group of Harpies and things got worse. It almost seemed like he couldn't do anything right. She even started to belittle him in front of them. Once again he put up with it, because he loved her. But her telling him she was going to go out and fuck someone else, and then doing it was the deal breaker. During all of the days of their marriage he had never once thought of being with another woman.

Darren's fingers stroked lightly over the strings muting them to produce the staccato notes to the opening bars. As Jessica sang she came over near him. He listened to her as he played although he knew the words very well.

They weren't Jessica's words or feelings after all, it was only a song to her. No the words and feelings were Darren's. They were what he wished so badly that he could tell Melissa. Jessica was only his voice.

He only wished that there was some way Melissa would hear the song and understand exactly how much pain she'd given him over the years and how much frustration. But it was all over now. He shuddered to think how much more of his life he'd have wasted on her if it hadn't been for her final contemptuous act.

By what she'd done last night Melissa had ended any hope of saving their marriage. The show tonight, this one song would mark the beginning of Darren's future and the end of his marriage.

Darren had intended to have Melissa served at home today. Jess had a much better plan in mind. She said it was more poetic.

Helen had been calling Jessica non-stop since early afternoon. Now as she sat in the waiting room outside of Dr. Harkness' office she tried one last time. Helen had gotten an emergency session with Agatha Harkness, for Melissa. The woman should have been in therapy years ago. Helen hoped that Melissa could come to terms with her problems before she lost Darren for good.