Friday Night Alchemy

"Shana's a control freak all right. She's fun to work for though, and she's just about my best friend." This was a revelation. I hadn't realised they were close socially. I could look forward to Kat's company quite frequently then. Good.

"But she didn't pick the eye patch. You made that, and it's the one thing everyone will remember about my outfit, so thank you again." I lent over and kissed her. Nothing messy, just a dry buzz on the lips. Nothing I wouldn't do in front of Shana.

We'd turned into Park Lane so I moved away from her slightly to give her a few seconds to compose herself before her grand entrance. The limo drew up outside the Hilton and Jonathan opened the door. I got out first and stood to one side, offering Kat my hand. She took it and stepped out with the dignity of a duchess. A picture of decorum.

"Thank you Jonathan. That will be all." I dismissed our driver.

"Right you are Sir." He touched his cap deferentially. He was very good at this. I appreciated it and made a note to convey my gratitude again, through Steve.

Kat took my proffered arm and we made a stately procession of two into the foyer. The doorman saluted too, as we passed inside. Here Kat had to navigate. She knew where the function was taking place, having been involved in the arrangements. No one asked to see my invitation. Kat negated the need for one. I caught a waiter's eye: he steered toward us with a tray of full glasses. Taking two flutes of Champagne, I handed one to Kat.

"To Shana. She throws a great party!" I toasted and raised my glass.

"To Shana." Kat replied, touching her glass to mine. Then we quaffed them.

As I looked around for another waiter, Shana came over.

"Did I here my name mentioned? Good evening, Lover." In continental fashion, she presented each cheek to be kissed in turn. Anything more would have wrecked her make-up.

"We were just drinking a toast to you." Kat said. I was too gobsmacked to speak. The promised models could have walked through the room butt naked and I wouldn't have noticed. Shana looked, looked - there isn't a superlative for this. Suffice it to say, if Aphrodite had a prettier sister, I was looking at her.

"Kat got your tongue?" Shana smiled benevolently like ‘Glinda the Good' in ‘The Wizard of Oz'. The pun wasn't lost on me though. I leant within whispering range, so Kat wouldn't hear.

"I want to make love to you."

"I know, but I've got a job to do right now. I'll see you later." She turned to Kat. "Can you two come back stage after the show? I'll have more time then."

"Sure." said Kat as Shana dashed off again.

I caught a waiter's eye at last and exchanged my empty glass for a full one.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" Kat interrupted my reverie.

"Hmm? Oh yes. Yes, very beautiful. Sorry, I was miles away." I apologised for my inattention. Kat gave me a knowing look. She was quite aware of where my thoughts had been.

"Shall we find our seats?"

"Certainly Kitten. Lead on." I followed her while my mind wandered off in search of Shana and a quiet corner for us to hide in. We were seated in the second row, just behind Vivian Westwood as Kat was at great pains to explain to me. Not that that meant any more to me than her dress designer.

"So how do you like wearing women's underwear?" Kat's question snapped my attention back to the real world.

"What? I'm not wearing women's underwear." I wondered what gave her that idea. Had Shana told her about my present? And, if so, what made her think I was wearing them.

"Yes you are. The eye patch." She winked mischievously. I just looked blank so she explained further. "To get it curved, I stiffened it with piece of petersham cut from the cup of an old strapless dress of mine. The velvet came from there too." She grinned confidentially. " the last time that eye patch was worn it was just here." As she said this she ran two fingers across her breast, just below the nipple.

Needless to say my eye followed this gesture. I was very conscious of the fact Kat wasn't wearing a bra.

"Well I'm sure your breast looked prettier in it than my eye does."

"I'll show you a photograph sometime and you can judge for yourself. Look! There's Shana!" She was pointing toward the curtained end of the catwalk. Shana came out and walked over to a microphone stand. We, and the rest of the audience, fell silent.

Shana spoke.

"Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Tonight we'd like to present La Perla's Autumn and Winter lines for nineteen ninety eight......"

Shana went into detail about influences, themes and palettes for some time then, as scantily clad models paraded up and down the catwalk, she provided a running commentary.

I tuned out the commentary and just ogled the pretty girls passing to and fro. After all, that was why I was there. In truth, I didn't even take much of that in. My mind kept straying back to Shana in that slinky dress. If there hadn't been a lectern in front of her, blocking my view, I would have spent the whole time just watching her instead of the models. Even so, I caught her eye once or twice and was rewarded with a smile.

When the show was over and the applause had subsided, Kat and I made our way through the throng towards the curtain Shana had disappeared through after greeting us. I appropriated another drink en route then we were out of the noise and hubbub of the reception only to find ourselves out of the frying pan and well and truly in the fire. Outside, people were just milling around aimlessly, or standing still and gossiping. In here though, people had jobs to do. The net effect was that there was a lot more movement being attempted in a hell of a lot less space. High school physics taught me that excited particles in a confined space produced increases in both temperature and pressure. The same was apparently true for crowds. Brownian motion allowed us to move around surprisingly easily within this pressure cooker environment and trying to spot Shana afforded ample opportunity to again ogle the sweet young things who had so recently been parading up and down in their smalls for my delectation.

Amid the stink of a thousand fragrances, the chattering and excited squeals of the girls and the glimpses of forbidden fruit through curtains no one bothered to draw, l heard my name.

"Alun! Alun! Over here!" It was Shana's voice but I couldn't see her anywhere.

"There!" Kat had spotted her through the crowd and, taking my arm, pushed her way forward with me in tow. "Here he is Shana. All safe and sound. Is Piero here? I'll be two ticks." Kat disappeared back into the thick of it, leaving me with Shana and a group of flunkies. She looked to be holding court. I ignored her 'courtiers' and reached for her. She met me halfway and time stopped. It didn't start again until we paused for breath.

"Oh Alun, wasn't it wonderful? Did you enjoy it?"

"I always do. The show was stimulating too."

"Cheeky boy!" Shana scolded, but she hugged me tighter at the same time so I assumed she was pleased.

"But all this 'look but don't touch' lark is getting hard."

"I noticed." Shana couldn't help but notice. "You're touching now though."

"This is holding, not touching. We're too public for touching. Who are all these people?" I let go of Shana who moved round slightly, so she could keep one arm around me, and introduced me to her entourage.

"This is Jean-Pierre, from our head office in Paris. He designed the staging and lighting for tonight. Martyn, our oh-so-talented director. Elizabeth you've already met. She's been co-ordinating things back here while I was stealing all the glory out front. Marion and Clare, our seamstresses. Karl, who's co-ordinated everything and been so wonderfully supportive since Cleo was taken ill. Alun, you just can't imagine how nerve wracking this week has been and Karl's been just a tower of strength. And last, but by no means least, Jane for Elite, our model agency. Don't you think she did us proud? Everyone, this is Alun, my hero." Shana finished the introductions just as Kat bustled back with a Latin type in tow.

"And this is Piero, our hair dresser and more importantly, my boyfriend. Piero, this is Alun, Shana's boyfriend. He brought me here tonight in the American ambassador's Rolls Royce. Isn't that something?" She was bubbling over with enthusiasm and clinging to Piero possessively. I wasn't sure which of us was being shown off to the other.

"Bentley, not Rolls Royce. There's a difference. They cost more for one thing." I corrected her slip, just in case anyone had missed that we'd arrived in rather a lot of style. Shana looked stunned.

"The American Ambassador's car? How did you swing that?" Shana didn't know whether to believe it or not.

"I phoned and asked. How else? But its not the ambassador's car, just one of their other limos" I didn't say who I'd phoned. I'd come clean with Shana later but I was enjoying being a man of mystery. It was working too, if the looks I was getting were any indication.

"Come along Alun, there's someone I'd like you to meet. If you'll excuse us people, and thank you all once again. Kat, are you coming along?" Shana took control again. She didn't seem nerve wracked to me. I began to suspect Shana could take this, and an awful lot more, in her stride.

"If you don't mind, Boss, Piero and I were going to get a drink." Kat made an excuse to get her Lothario alone.

"OK. We'll catch up with the two of you later. This way Alun." She led me off toward one of the impromptu dressing rooms.

"I could do with a drink myself. May I?" She indicated the half full glass I was still toting. I handed it to her and watched her drain it.

"Thank you lover." Another squeeze. "So how did you get the car?" She wasn't going to be fobbed off again.

"I phoned Steve."

"And are you going to carry me off in it later?"

"'Fraid not. It's turned back into a pumpkin by now. But find me a phone and I'll arrange something." I figured Steve had to have one decent vehicle on call tonight.

"Its alright Lover. We'll just get a black cab. I'm not fussy. Here we are." She knocked and stuck her head round the door. "Everyone Decent?" The answer was obviously affirmative because she opened the door fully and ushered me in.

"Sophie, this is Alun. Alun, Sophie Anderton." Shana made the introductions.

"Enchanted." I bowed slightly. It seemed more appropriate than kissing her hand.

"My pleasure, Mr...?" There was a silent question. Having met so many people she'd learned to be certain whom she was dealing with. I respected that.

"Pendragon. But please, call me Alun."

"Did you enjoy the show Alun?" It was a formula question.

"Very much. Of course, I only saw half of it. The left half."

She smiled politely at my little joke. Shana felt the need to explain my eye patch.

"Alun nearly lost an eye rescuing me from an enraged ex-boyfriend."

"Really? That was very heroic Alun. Do you do that sort of thing often."

"No. It's the first eye I've nearly lost." I was deliberately evasive. The truth would have been far too boring. Shana decided we'd stayed long enough.

"Anyway Sophie, I just popped in to say thanks. Everything went swimmingly. Cleo will be so pleased. Shall we go Alun?"

"Certainly. It's been a pleasure to meet you Miss Anderton. Goodbye." I bowed ever so slightly, little more than a nod, and Shana and I left.

"Alun, would you be very upset if I returned you to Kat's custody for a while? I have to go and play hostess." She had managed to find a quiet corner in which to ask this. I think she knew the price of my agreement. She snuggled up close.

"Of course I'll be upset, but I'll put a brave face on and I'm sure I can pass a couple of hours flirting with Kitten." I was baiting her.

"It will be just a couple of hours, and I'll check in from time to time." She didn't rise to the bait but she did kiss me. Then she fussed over removing the lipstick from my face. "Lets go and find Kat."

As we made our way through the backstage area, Shana stopped me and sat down by a middle aged woman sitting at a dressing table.

"Barbara. I need a touch up. I seem to have misplaced my lippy." Shana glanced in my direction.

Barbara threw me a cursory glance then handed me a wet wipe for the remains of the lipstick. She took no more interest in me but focused on touching up Shana's makeup. In two minutes she looked perfect again and we went on our way. Kat was by the bar, alone.

"Hi Kitten! Did you miss me?" Flirt as you mean to go on: That's my motto.

"Hiya! Of course I missed you." She handed Shana and I a glass each.

"Can you keep Alun out of trouble for a while, Kat? I've got to go and press the flesh." Shana relinquished custody of my arm.

"Sure Boss. Piero's working again anyway. We'll just sit here and get tipsy together." Kat had a good idea.

"Later, Lover." Shana went off to ‘press the flesh'.

Kat was already tipsy. Her eyes were ever so slightly out of focus. I, on the other hand, had some catching up to do. I drained my glass and beckoned to the barman.

"What can I get you Sir?"

"Whiskey. Single malt for preference. Make it a double. It'll save you a journey later."

The barman brought me my drink.

"Ice?" Well he had to ask. Some philistines actually put ice in malt whiskey.

"Straight." I put a tenner on the bar. The booze was free but the tip ensured that the glass would remain full as long as I wanted. In service terms, you get what you pay for. The tenner had vanished. It was good whiskey too: at least twelve years old.

"Kitten, you know those stockings Sophie wore on the catwalk?" I had a crazy idea for a souvenir for Steve.

"Yes. What about them?"

"Will they have been kept or discarded d'you think?"

"They'll be in her dressing room but they're nothing special. Probably end up in the bin. Why?" She gave me a conspiratorial look.

"My best friend was gutted when he heard I was coming here and Sophie's cleavage is all over the billboard opposite his office. He's been ogling it for weeks so one of those stockings would make a great pressie for him. What are my chances?" I didn't really think I had a hope but you've got to ask haven't you?

"For your friend, eh? Wait here."

Kat slipped off her barstool and disappeared into the throng in the general direction of the dressing rooms. She was back in less than five minutes with something dark clenched in her fist. She slipped it into my jacket pocket.

"There you are Dear. Don't say I never do anything for you. I hope your friend likes them." She winked. She didn't believe they were for someone else.

"Them? I only wanted one for Steve. You got both?"

"Well they generally come in pairs."

"I'll keep one for myself then. Thanks Kitten." I leaned forward to kiss her, as I had in the car. She saw it coming this time and took control. What I had intended as a friendly peck between partners in crime lasted rather longer than I was prepared for. I hoped Shana hadn't seen us. Kat wasn't making any offers, just teasing me, but it did put me a bit off balance. I'd have to be careful that this didn't get out of hand. This little girl was trouble, very attractive trouble: the worst kind.

Kat was good company to get drunk with but she made sure she wasn't the only company I had by introducing me to anyone she knew who passed within greeting distance. I spent nigh on two hours meeting the wealthy, the elegant, the famous and the lovely, mainly the lovely. Kat seemed to know everyone under twenty five by name and made sure they all knew me by the end of the evening. I did actually recognise a few of the faces from the catwalk, and yes, I did look at their faces as well as their bodies.

To the movers and shakers of London's fashion industry I was an unknown quantity, but rumours and misinformation had made me an unknown worth knowing - just in case I proved to be a useful contact. So I sat there with my lovely minder and swapped handshakes and air kisses with all and sundry. I was enjoying my fifteen minutes of fame when Shana popped back, smirking from ear to ear. She leant close and whispered.

"That car you borrowed? Someone checked with the doorman and now it seems you're a personal friend of Bill Clinton himself." She could barely contain herself. We both ended up laughing so much we were nearly in tears. This lack of decorum drew sharp glances from some of the onlookers but I was past caring. Having shared this little titbit with me and got it out of her system, Shana dashed off again.

Kat left too, to find Piero, after she'd deputized Elizabeth to baby-sit me. Liz was the most sober person I'd talked to for hours but she too had heard rumours about me. Her response was to ignore them entirely, confining the conversation to safe subjects like 'What did I think of the new collection?' and 'Isn't Shana terrific? She's been talking about you all week. I haven't seen her so cheerful for months'. Then came the pep talk from an overprotective friend, 'Don't you dare do anything to upset her...', and so on and so forth up to 'She deserves to be happy'. I nodded seriously at the appropriate moments and agreed with her on every point. I had no intention of hurting Shana anyway, I just wanted to make her happy. Right now, I reckoned Shana's happiness required some serious lovemaking. This was not an opinion I gave voice to.

My pager rescued me from Elizabeth's serious talk. We've got this clever gizmo at work that pages me, or whoever's on call, with error messages when the computer gets stuck. I asked Elizabeth if there was a phone I could use. She made meaningful gestures to my friendly barman who handed me the phone from behind the bar.

"Nine for an outside line?" I asked. He nodded and went back to polishing glasses out of eavesdropping range.

I called the computer. It's a very clever box of tricks really. If you know what numbers to push you can do virtually anything on it with nothing more than a tone dial phone.

I entered my ID number and suspended all the overnight jobs. I was far too drunk to start trying to fix things. It could all wait until tomorrow. I hung up and passed the phone back to the barman, getting another whiskey in return.

"Just putting off 'til tomorrow what I can't deal with now." I answered Elizabeth's inquisitive expression. She'd lost track of where she'd got to in her little lecture, for which I shall be eternally grateful to my pager.

Kat's timely return forestalled any further seriousness from Elizabeth who took the opportunity to take her leave of me. Kat's absence of lipstick suggested she'd been having more fun than me since she ran off.

"Who've you been snogging then?" I let her know that I knew.

"Piero of course! How did you know?" God she was cute when she looked puzzled.

"No lipstick."

"Oh!" She put her hand up to cover her lips then thought better of it. "Oh well, so what? I'm not going to put more on now. It's nearly time to go home. I've got work in the morning."

"Is Shana working tomorrow too?" That would seriously hamper my chances tonight.

"'Fraid so, and she'll have to find time to visit Cleo and tell her how marvellously everything went. Busy day tomorrow, for all of us...pardon me." She yawned. I knew exactly how she felt.

Most of the guests had left when Shana came and found me. We'd moved away from the bar to some more comfortable seating along one wall and Kat was curled up fast asleep, using my shoulder as a pillow.

"What's this? I leave you alone for a few minutes and you start molesting my staff." Shana was mocking me again. I shook Kat gently to wake her.

"Up you get, Kitten, your boyfriend's here." Piero arrived just behind Shana. They were the magic words: Kat levitated off her seat and straight into his arms. Shana stole the vacant place, lifting my arm up and putting it round her shoulders. She snuggled up and we watched together as Kat and Piero tried for the lip to lip endurance record. It was one of those wonderful, voyeuristic moments. Eventually they stopped and Piero sat down on the only remaining seat, pulling Kat down onto his lap, thus solving the problem of getting four people on a three seater sofa.