by spider007
This is a waste of space. Belongs in group not loving wives. No love here.
If you post it in fetish I won't read it, and I won't vote 1*.
You have a good writing style but there is no way that this is Loving Wives. I'm glad that Dan and Janice were thinking about havingh kids down the road because now she can have kids and not know who the father is. Believe it or not Dan is being cuckolded whethere he agrees or not. He is a wimp cuckold. Probably should be in Fetish. Please put this where it belongs
All they do is hate the stories and denigrate the authors. Don't they have anything better to do than read stories they hate? Loving Wives is the category for wives fucking other folk. Sad little people - get a life!
Chapter one fit in lw since it was a slutwife story. This is an orgy story and should be in group.
I know this is erotica, and many take that as license to dismiss rules of grammar, punctuation, and literacy on the whole, but at the night club some descriptions for the guys at the table besides #1, #2, #3, and #4 would have been nice. Aside from the fact it probably should have read "number one, number two, etc.", I felt like you took the cheap way out of narrating there.
There were some other minor misspells I noticed on the first page alone:
"goodly" instead of "good"; "done" instead of "down". A proofread probably could have eliminated some errors.
Keep up your attempts and try to get a volunteer editor to clean stuff up.
And whilst I was astonished your stories received such low marks, I kind of got why after reading all of them. Kinda sad really, when your style of writing is quite engaging and command of the English language quite tolerable for me. your earlier prelude did it for me. But even though I am Asian and presumably more subservient, your other stories don't make me wet. in fact, I was horny, till I read your stories and understood how sex = power not sex = physical touch
A trip to the Doctor revealed he had 2 std's, herpes and HIV. He died before his slut wife died, but only by a few months. He got what he deserved. Who wants to watch their wife act out her whore side? Stupid.
That was an awesome story! Definitely a favorite! Tho next you should get Janice gang-banged in a subway or something. Make her take on anyone who wanted to join in as they passed by and saw the action. I was SO glad to see there was a part two! Great writing, thank you.
I know it has been a few years, but these two chapters .call out for a continuing story.
More chapters please.
This story needs to face into.obscurity. Just a nasty mess with no living wives.