Friendship Interrupted

Expecting some form of recognition was too much to ask, she was gone. We half carried, half dragged her out of that shithole. Chris helped me get her into his car, and we got the hell out of the rundown neighborhood as quick as we could. We drove to a rental car agency, there would be no way the airline would allow her on a plane in that condition.

After the arrangements were made, I paid Chris for his time and thanked him. He had made all the difference, I could have searched Houston for a year, and never found Jen. It would be an awful long drive back home, about twelve to thirteen hours, I prayed Jen would sleep most of the way.

I drove through the night, only stopping for gas along the way. Jen remained in her self-induced coma. God Jen, what terrible thing could have brought you to this, I thought? So many years had passed between us, I was sad to see my old friend suffering. If only I could bear the pain for her, I would.

Allie met me at the house, she'd dropped the kids with her mother. After two sleepless nights, I wouldn't be able to care for Jen when she came to. After safely carrying Jen to the spare room, I retired to my office to find information on a substance abuse facility. With that done and an appointment made, I leaned back in my chair and crashed.

My dreams were cut short by a dire scream. I was on my feet racing to the source, I took the stairs three at a time. I found Jen trying to restyle Allie's hair, Jen stood panting ready to strike again, she held a fistful of Allie's blond mane.

"JENIFER," I yelled, "No! Stop it!"

She whirled and looked questioningly, "Ben?"

She looked like a caged animal, I imagine she felt like one too, after waking in a strange room. I went to her and held her in my arms as she cried, I mouthed a thank you to Allie as she backed out of the room.

"Jen, it's ok. I'm here now, let it go," I said soothingly.

She cried until there were no more tears to cry, all that was left in her were whimpers.

The night passed with no further outbreaks, the morning would be harder. When I told Jen about her rehab, she came unglued. There were a lot of references to my sexual orientation, she questioned the marriage of my mother and father as well.

"You cocksucker, I won't go. You're not sending me to one of those prisons," she hissed.

"You need this, why are you fighting me?"

"You rotten son of a bitch, this is kidnapping!"

It went on the same up until I walked out the door of the clinic, leaving Jen to dry out. Jen would be in the center for six months at least. If she chose not to cooperate, it could be much longer. I felt pretty down about leaving her there kicking and screaming, but it was for her own good. They didn't allow visitors during the detox period, it would be a couple of weeks before I could see her again.

My visits with Jen were filled with tension, she was still very angry with me for subjecting her to this treatment. Jen was detached and stoic, for the most part ignoring any conversation. Her health was improving noticeably each week, I was able to see the color return in her face. Physically, there was progress, but mentally, we were still at square one.

After several months of trying to reach her without any headway, I changed direction. I took a couple of friends along with me on my next visit. As I introduced Mandy and Mae, the terse look on Jen's face dissolved. My girls melted her heart, they became friends from the moment they met. I stood in the background, watching Jen return to the living.

It was amazing to see the smile on my best friends face again after so many years. Each weeks visit with Jen, the girls laughed and played with her. It was always a sad parting when it was time to go home.

It was now time to talk, my girls had softened Jen up. When I entered the visitor area alone, we both knew what was coming.

"Ben, where are the girls? I've been looking forward to seeing them," she uttered with disappointment.

"It's time so get some things settled, Jen."

"Why now? Can't it wait?"

"Jen, we've waited foe twenty years. I came here for answers, I want us to get over this."

"But Ben, how is this going to change anything?"

"Just humor me for once, no more secrets, no more fighting, just the truth."

"Ben please, I'm not ready. Let me sort it out first."

"No Jen, just spill it. What happened that day?"

"It's complicated Ben. When you told me about Sandy's abortion, I went crazy. You see, I'd just found out that I couldn't ever have kids. I was pissed off at you, you seemed to take for granted what I could never have."

"That's what all of this is about? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was going to, but after that fit I threw I couldn't bring myself to face you. I kept avoiding you, it just seemed easier."

"Come on Jen, easier than what?"

"Easier than telling you what a self righteous cunt I was. I'm a hypocrite Ben, I came down hard on you for something that I'd done myself."

"I'm not following you, did I miss something?"

"Ben, I had an abortion too, that's why I can't have children. I vented on you for something that wasn't your fault. I couldn't stand to face you," she was crying now.

"God damn it Jen, that was pretty chicken shit, and I don't mean the abortion. You couldn't face me? All these years for that? Shit Jen, I can't believe it, you made me suffer for twenty years because you were a coward. I never held anything back from you, ever. You on the other hand, seem to have held out on me about a lot of things."

"What would you have done if I told you all of this then? You'd have never talked to me again."

"No Jen, I'd have listened to you, just like I am now. I'd have forgiven you and stood by you, because that's what friend do. We're all weak Jen, all you had to do is talk to me."

"I couldn't, don't you see? I'm nothing but a hypocrite."

"So?"

"Ben..."

"Goddamn it Jen, it's time to grow up. I never asked you to be perfect, all I ever asked was to be my friend. So what if you couldn't tell me everything. So what if you were mad at me. All you had to do is talk to me, we could have worked it out. You might have screwed up, and you may be a hypocrite. But you're still my friend, all of that other shit doesn't matter."

Finally, I'd been able to get rid of the baggage I'd been dragging around for half of my life. This was as important to Jen as it was to me. We'd now be able to put that ugly chapter of our lives to rest.

Jen showed an almost instant change in her attitude, she was actually happy to see me, not just the girls. I was even looking forward to our visits now, It wasn't a grueling chore anymore. Jen was looking and talking like my best friend again.

The months fell from the calendar. Mandy, Mae and I were going to the rehab center for the last time. We were picking up Jen, she now a 'recovering' alcoholic. The girls and I had talked Jen into staying with us for a while. She needed time to adjust to her new way of life, my thinking was, that she would be less likely to fall into her old lifestyle if she were around us. We could provide for her emotional needs, and I could keep an eye on her at the same time.

If I told you that Jen's transition into our home was flawless, I'd be lying. But after a few snags here and there, we adjusted to each other. She was great with Mandy and Mae, they bonded like super glue. We were able to sit down and reconnect as well. That was the time I enjoyed the most, I had my best friend back. We would sit and talk until the wee hours. I told her of my life and about Sara, she filled me in on the years we'd missed together.

Jen had wandered from one failed relationship to another, she had finally come to realize, that it was her inability to conceive that had caused all of the failures. She had found the man she thought things would be different with, but he was adamant that he would not consider adoption. When Jen realized she would never have a child to love, she'd turned to alcohol to ease the pain.

Watching the interaction between the girls and Jen, I saw how much they were missing without a mother. I thought I did a good job with them, but it was evident that they needed a woman in their lives. They were getting to that age that dad couldn't do it all anymore. How was I supposed to help Mandy choose her first bra? I can't even think about explaining menstruation to Mae.

So, as I stand here on the altar, watching my beautiful bride to be come down the isle, I wonder again how I can be so lucky to find the woman to grow old with.

As I say the words, a tear runs down my cheek, "I, Ben, take you Allie, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

Did you really think I was going to marry Jen? Nah, she's my friend, and that means a lot to me, but Allie has always been there for the girls and me. I would have told you more about Allie, but this is Jen's story.

Jen has moved on now, she has the life that she needed to make her truly happy. She's married again, and has three beautiful children to dote over. Jen married a widower like me, and she couldn't be happier. We still talk until the wee hours sometimes, but now it's on the phone. Now it's as it should be, Ben and Jen, friends for life.