All Comments on 'Fugitive Santa'

I have tried 4 different new stories today the first page is no problem but where there is a second page and or more everything beyond is blank and we are left wondering what is going on

Dutchcan2, refresh the page, at the moment this is the only cure

Good story!

5

The police might have been able to save money by finding an officer to be Father Christmas instead. That would cause your plot to struggle. It's better to go with art when you are writing fiction.

Hi, ogg, what a fun tale! I laughed at the Inspector's concern about lack of elephants in the area and Raymond's relative willingness to put it in the safe due to the bruises. That's a serious boomer! His concern about and developing relationship with Angela was sweet, too. Great job. 4.5* rounded up to 5.

Ha Ha... Felt like I was watching an old Monty Python sketch, trying to sell CCTV security packages... And the karate club was hilarious!!!

Nicely done. I thoroughly enjoyed this yarn.

Minor technical problem with a blank page easily fixed by reloading, but that's on Lit and this is just for documentation purposes. . . At least the ***** were recorded.

What a fun story. I especially enjoyed the karate elves. What are/were "land women"? Some sort of wartime farm workers? Which war? I was surprised the villains were brandishing baseball bats rather than golf clubs. I thought baseball was only a New World/Far East sport. I don't want my ignorance of England in the last hundred years to detract or distract from a good story that will add to your legacy. Well done!

Another great story. Just one nitpick: the 4 gauge elephant gun. Guns can either use cartridges or percussion caps- not both. And 4 gauge elephant guns kick more than most people can handle- they have been known to dislocate shoulders. I have a 458 WINMAG, which was designed to kill elephants and it has over 41 ft-lbs of recoil energy (and it really hurts to shoot it). A 4 gauge has over 200 ft-lbs of recoil energy. By way of comparison, the .303 British has a little over than 14 ft-lbs of recoil energy. I shoot my .458 from time to time, but I would never consider shooting a 4 gauge. He is a video of someone shooting a 4 gauge: https://fishgame.com/2015/06/4-gauge-shotgun-could-you-handle-the-recoil-video/

Thank you anonymous. The 'cartridges' in the story were like those for Brown Bess muskets - a paper container with the right amount of black powder and the shot in an envelope at the bottom. You tear open the cartridge, pour the contents down the bore and add the shot before wadding the paper and ramming it down the bore. It is much slower to load than a modern cartridge which has the primer at the bottom. And I know what the recoil is from a four gauge. I wouldn't fire one twice in the same day but my main character is seriously fit.

5*

I enjoyed your story very much. Having lived and worked in London for a couple of years I like to read British-themed stories. Nice development of the relationship with Angela.