by Ravlicious
There was a fair bit of development, and then they screwed and it was all over.
I think you could have expanded that last scene a bit.
Otherwise, well-written.
I definitely thought this story had good potential, and I thought maybe they would use the Monopoly game in some sort of dirty fashion. Please write a sequel!!!
This story was expertly crafted, but it didn't last long enough. It could've used more tension.
That was so perfect. I'd have loved for that to have been my first time. Beautifully written. Great job.