Getting to Know Her Ch. 04

Somewhere along the way, as we experimented with gender roles, toys and positions we lost track of how satisfying it could be to just have a good old fashioned night of sex. Just plain old fucking, sucking, fondling and kissing – no thinking, just doing. It brought us back to the earliest days of our relationship when the love was the greatest and everything was new.

Eventually, my wife raised the idea of having Stacy come around 'for a girls night in.' Getting myself ready that night was like sliding into a comfortable old pair of shoes. It had been weeks since I had last dressed and I was surprised how easy all the little details came back to me. It felt very natural to slip back into being Stacy and I smiled and sighed my way through every minute of my careful preparation. My outfit was really basic: black leggings, a long comfy grey cowl neck sweater dress and ballet flats.

We hugged like long lost friends when I walked into the room and my wife's expression told me that a lot of old feelings were quickly rekindled. She complimented me several times on how far my skills had progressed and how much more at ease I seemed than the nervous creature that she took to the movies ages ago.

There was no sex that night, but gradually cuddling and watching a movie turned to caresses and later kisses. Stacy 'slept over' that night, and we continued to caress each other through our silky nightgowns until we fell asleep in each others arms.

Again, we took it slow and kept the communication lines open. Gradually Stacy began making more regular visits and not just on the weekend. We've gone out together on a number of occasions, but for fear of running into co-workers who might not understand, we tend to stay in a lot. I probably spend more time as Stacy than I would have expected, but we both seem to be ok with that and the distinctions between Stacy and 'me' have blended in a number of ways.

Our sex life has evolved to a rather androgynous place. As Stacy the lovemaking is mostly oral, as it was back in the beginning but sometimes, in the right mood, Stacy has been known to invite some strap-on play which has been lovingly accepted. I still don't get any special pleasure from the act, but since my wife now understands that it longer results in Stacy finishing frustrated.

Equally, we began incorporating some of our 'Stacy' lovemaking techniques into our 'regular' play. My wife will sometimes encourage me by saying, "Mmm you tongue me like you're a woman" or gently rub 'my breasts' while we kiss and caress one another. I've even accepted some modest anal penetration as part of our 'normal' lovemaking and my wife never seems to mind if a little bit of peanut butter or other erotic food pops up as part of a steamy oral session.

I guess over time, we've taken our lovemaking to a place where the point is more about giving and receiving pleasure and feeling good than playing gender games or pushing limits and such. I think we both have a much stronger sense of self and what we want both for each other and from each other. We still experiment a little, but we're also more comfortable sticking with what works.

*****

I don't want to leave with the impression that we are 100% all better and lived the rest of our life like a Disney Prince and Princess (or Princesses). Damage was done, and while much has been repaired, from time to time a nerve will be struck. Problems arise and we talk about them. We're both more open and honest. We're in a pretty good place right now, and we both believe that things continue to get better.

The lesson, for me anyway, is that people can be sexually complex and sexual appetites are not a constant, but can evolve. Open communication, being open minded and being flexible are all valuable traits in enjoying a satisfying sexual relationship. But one can't pursue these traits to the exclusion of ones own nature. Even a loving relationship isn't always easy, and I doubt it should be, as the effort is a part of the satisfaction.

These facets are rarely a part of the stories one sees on Lit as frankly, they don't make good copy. Few come to this site wanting to hear about someone else's complicated relationship or gender identification challenges. Readers want to hear about slapping bodies, splashing fluids and sexual intrigue. I know in this part at least, that was lacking.

Thanks to anyone who has gotten this far. I hope you enjoyed my story. I found the telling to be useful to me and hopefully someone will learn from my experiences.