Ghost of a Chance

Okay, this is weird.

I don't remember how I got here. Where is 'here' anyway? Let me see, think, damn it, think. Must be foggy out today, I can't seem to see a thing for all this mist.

Wait, it's coming back to me. I was sitting in a restaurant with Penny across the table. There are tears welling up in her eyes. I learned a long time ago that it is better to break up with someone in a public place, less of a chance of a big scene.

So, here I was telling her that we had no future together. As if there ever had been! I wasn't thinking of a future together, just another conquest ... another notch on the old belt, so to speak. Well, maybe that wasn't entirely true. The truth be known, I had become increasingly fond of Penny and I felt it best to end it before one of us got really hurt. After all, I was a confirmed bachelor, a rake, a love 'em and leave 'em kinda guy.

I got up, threw some money on the table to cover the bill, said to Penny, "I know you don't believe me right now, but this is for the best." . She had hardly said a word, she just sat there. Those eyes, though, they would haunt me for a little while. I gathered my coat and walked out into the night. I stopped to put on my coat because it had started raining, ducked my head and started to run to my car, pleased with myself that breaking up with Penny had been so easy.

I had just dashed into the street when I heard a horn blaring and I looked up. A bus was coming right at me. That's the last thing I remembered.

Suddenly there was an opening in the fog and I knelt down to look through it. There were people milling about in front of the bus, the driver was talking to a cop gesturing wildly with his hands. And, what is that? It looked like a body lying face down on the wet street. The cop's partner was trying to keep people at a distance when a man said, "I'm a doctor, maybe I can help," and the cop let him through.

He knelt by the body and rolled it over ... Holy Shit! It was me! The man said, "No, I can't help, I'm afraid he's gone." A quick realization hit me that I was dead. I quickly patted my hands over myself feeling for form and substance ... I felt the same. I watched with an eerie detachment as the ambulance arrived. The attendants threw a cover over me. One of the attendants stood back and lit a cigarette, deeply inhaled and said, "Poor bastard, I guess he never saw it coming."

The fog began to swirl higher and higher until it engulfed me. I thought "This can't be happening to me. I've got plans for the rest of my life." But the fog seemed to just get thicker and suddenly I felt like I was being carried off. But to where?

When the mist began to thin I noticed a man sitting a table drinking a glass of wine. I looked around and there was nothing else in sight, just rolling mist and the man at the table.

He motioned me over with a wave of his hand and indicated I should sit down. As I sat down I took him in, he was a little on the thin side and I thought he'd be tall if he stood up. His hair was silver and his eyes the bluest I've ever seen, almost ethereal. He was dressed completely in white, a white polo shirt, white pants, white shoes and socks. His arms were muscular like he played tennis regularly and the hand that held the wine glass had long, elegant fingers.

As took the offered chair another glass of wine appeared from nowhere on the table in front of me. I quickly looked around for a waiter, but in this whole cloudy place there was just him and me.

"Go ahead," he said, "You might as well relax, Chris. This is some of the best ambrosia in a millennium. Taste it, I think you'll agree. What am I saying, it's your first glass of ambrosia, isn't it? You don't have anything to compare it to. Well, take my word for it, it is far superior to the last batch."

I took the glass and raised it to my lips. As I took a sip, I looked over the rim of the glass at him with a question in my eyes. He laughed, "Yes, you're dead. But that doesn't mean the end of everything. You'll find out that we've got a pretty good thing going here, that is if you are finally accepted."

He offered me a cigarette and took one for himself, "For one thing, you can smoke here, after all you're already dead so the consequences of smoking don't really mean anything."

I took the offered cigarette and leaned over as he lit it, I inhaled deeply, it was like being reunited with a old lover! I had quite smoking about 3 years ago and had never really gotten over the cravings. I settled back in my chair thinking this being dead wasn't so bad after all ... the ambrosia was better than any wine I had tasted when I was alive and I could smoke! Then it dawned on me what he had said about being accepted.

It was like he could read my mind, "Yes. You've got to be accepted first. It seems you died a little bit before your time, you didn't have a chance to make amends for the hearts you broke. Just look at poor Penny." With that the fog opened up again and I could see Penny leaving the restaurant oblivious to what was going on down the block. She had forgotten her rain coat and was getting soaking wet but she trudged on.

People didn't notice the tears falling down as the rain trickled down her face. When she finally walked to her building she stopped and leaned her head up against the brick for a minute. Then, she wiped her eyes and went in, once in her apartment she took stock in herself. Realizing she was cold and soaked down to the skin she began running a hot bath and went into the kitchen and got a glass of wine.

She walked back in the bathroom and started to undress. Her hands were trembling as she unbuttoned her dress, whether it was from the cold it couldn't tell.

"It's not just the cold you know," the stranger said reading my mind again, "the trembling hands are a direct result of a broken heart. You broke her heart tonight. She loved you even though she had never said so. And maybe that's why you died so suddenly. You didn't deserve a woman like Penny. She's everything a man could want ,... beautiful, talented, sensual ... and you just walked away from one of the most generous hearts among the living."

As I watched her undress I remembered how beautiful she was. Her dark hair, now plastered to her head by the rain, usually was a riot of curls around a small heart shaped face. Her eyes were always sparkling their peculiar shade of jade and her mouth was just a touch too wide. Her lips were soft and warming, how that mouth could warm a man's blood!

As she peeled off her dress and it fell to a sodden heap on the floor, I noticed my companion has averted his eyes. I couldn't though, I couldn't resist that body. Her slim shoulders were white and delicate, her breasts were nothing spectacular, an average size crowned with dusky nipples. Out of the blue I remembered how responsive those nipples were and I was saddened by the thought that I'd never feel them harden under my hands again. As she pulled her panties off her thatch was revealed. That mass of curls at the triangle between her legs. I recalled how many times I had lost myself in her wet tightness never wanting to be anywhere else.

"You look sad. Maybe you loved her, too. Perhaps you were scared because of the feelings Penny conjured up in you ... maybe that was why you broke up with her so suddenly."

I was startled and looked up at him, "Yes, I guess I was falling in love with her," I replied.

He kept his eyes solidly on the table in front of us while I watched as Penny stepped into the bath, sinking down in it, she closed her eyes as the warm water enveloped her. She reached for the glass of wine and took a sip just as the tears started to flow again. I couldn't bear to watch any more. Surprisingly, there were tears in my eyes too.

I snuffed out my cigarette and asked my companion, "Okay who are you? And accepted in to what?"

He chuckled, "Well, to answer your first question, my name is Bob. I know you were expecting a name like 'Gabriel' or "Enoch" some such ... but it's just plain old Bob. And I'm going to be your adviser. In case you haven't gotten it yet, you're in limbo ... neither in the great beyond or the ghastly below. It's going to be up to you whether you move on" he gestured with his finger, "to a greater reward or to the greatest penalty. And the only thing you have to do is mend Penny's heart."

I was stunned, "I'm dead aren't I? How can I possibly mend Penny's heart now?"

"Well, it seems you'll have to find another man for Penny, one who's not afraid of commitment and one who'll return all the generous love she has to give."

"Now that's a hellava note! I just admitted to you that I was falling in love with her and now you tell me I have to find my own replacement?"

Bob just chuckled and said, "I didn't say it was going to be easy. But yes, you've got to find your own replacement. In fact, you can sort of look on yourself as Penny's guardian angel for a while."

Well, I didn't like the sound of that at all! But if I were going to get out of limbo and on to the next plane, then I guess I had no choice. "Alright," I said, "How do I do I get started?"

"Well, you'll learn as you go ... but basically, you'll be Penny's shadow until you find a suitable man for her. Good luck and good hunting," and with that he was gone.

I felt myself falling and the next thing I knew I was sitting on a park bench in the warm sunshine.

Sunshine? I was confused. It was early October when I had my 'run-in' with the bus, now it seemed like Spring, but I had only been gone for about a half and hour. Bob's voice came into my head, "Don't worry, Sport, time doesn't move at the same rate among the living as it does with the dead ... why do you think it's called 'eternity'." I heard him chuckling as something caught my attention.

It was Penny and she was on her way to work. God she looked good! She walked right past me and I fell into step with her. How hard could this be? After all, Penny was a beautiful young woman. She was bright and talented, certainly fun to be with, what man wouldn't give his right arm for a woman like her? The thought struck me hard. I had been given that chance and I blew it, okay that was something I'd have to deal with ... but Penny deserved to be happy and if I could assist in that happiness then I could spend eternity at peace.

I followed her out of the park, down the street to a coffee shop, then finally to where she worked. As we waited for the elevator, I noticed a guy holding a newspaper up reading it, when he turned the page he noticed Penny. He slowly closed the paper, folded it and put it under his arm. It looked as though he was going to say something to her when the elevator doors opened and a crowd of people rushed in. He ended up standing in back of her and when she got off on her floor he glanced up at the numbers lit up above the doors. I knew he was taking note of the floor she got out on.

I quickly decided that I had to check out this guy out so I popped back into the elevator and road with him up to his floor. When he got out he approached the receptionist, "Morning, Sally."

"Good morning, Mr. Peterson"

"Sally, would you by any chance know whos office is on the 6th floor?'

"Oh, that's the law offices. I forget their names, but there a bunch of them. I think they are corporate attorneys."

I whispered in his ear, "Don't let this girl get away from you!"

"Would you call down and make an appointment for me, Sally. I think it's about time we got ourselves a law firm."

Confused and more that curious Sally replied that she would.

I followed him down the hall and as he entered his office I noticed the sign on his door, 'Derek Peterson, C.E.O.'

Okay, he was a C.E.O. But of what? I meandered around to get a better look at his desk. There were no pictures ... that was good, I didn't need a married man chasing after Penny. From a memo on his desk I found out that Peterson headed up an investment firm, and if the numbers in the memo were to be believed it was a very successful investment firm.

At 11:30 Peterson took the elevator down to the 6th floor. When he got off the elevator he quickly looked around. Secretaries and paralegals were coming and going, but he didn't catch sight of the pretty young woman he had seen this morning. He walked up to the receptionist and said, "I'm Derek Peterson. I believe I have an appointment with a Mr. Anderson at 11:30."

Checking her book she said, "Of course, Mr. Peterson. If you'll just have a seat, Ms. Anderson will be right out."

He didn't have time to acknowledge his faux pas when Penny walked out. She offered her hand to him and he took it in a firm handshake.

"Mr. Peterson," she said indicating the way to her office, "what is it we can do for you today?"

At first he was tongue-tied, then realizing he needed to say something, "I thought it was about time my firm retained an attorney."

"Ah, well, you've come to the right place." She questioned him about his business and went over her fee schedule.

All the time Peterson sat there mesmerized by her. Were her eyes really a shade of violet? Her smile, he thought, could chase away the darkest clouds. He noticed everything about her. How she made that business suit look feminine.

"I have to go out of town tomorrow," he suddenly thought of a way to further his time with her, "if the contract can be ready by tonight, why don't we meet for dinner?" This wasn't a request that was out of the ordinary, people in the city often met for dinner to finish out the day's business.

"I don't think that will be a problem, how about 7:00 at the grill down the street? They have the best hamburgers in town and the coldest beer."

Derek was taken by surprise, burgers and beer not a posh restaurant where maitre d' hovered about? "Sure,' he agreed, "I'll see you at 7:00."

Penny walked him back to the reception area, shook his hand again and watched as he turned to leave. He was quite handsome she thought and seemed like a nice guy. His suit had been tailor made, that was obvious, but he wore it like it was his favorite sweat suit, it showed he was comfortable with himself. He was taller than her by almost a foot, a fact that made her feel petite and utterly womanly. His chocolate brown eyes held a twinkle in them that spoke of a mischievous quality and a sense of humor.

She frowned, did she want to get involved again after Chris? The center of her chest contracted as she thought of Chris. She had cried the night after he broke up with her, but the next day when she got the newspaper, she saw the article telling about the accident. At first she didn't believe it, then she saw his name and her breath caught, she could have sworn her heart stopped beating, the world stopped spinning. She collapsed.

One of her neighbors happened to walk by at that time and helped her back into her apartment. "No," she told him, "I'm alright. My foot just slipped and I fell." She ushered him out of her apartment as quickly as she could.

She read the story about the accident. At first she was in shock, then the tears came. She attended the funeral and introduced herself to his family as a co-worker. It was obvious they didn't know anything about her, another indication that Chris wasn't as serious about her as she was about him. She called in to work the following Monday and took the week off. She stayed in her bathrobe for days and did not leave her apartment.

She not only cried, but took the time to insulate herself against that kind of hurt again. She had very carefully, bit by bit, built a protective wall around her heart that she was sure could never be breached.

All of a sudden Bob popped in, "See what you did, Chris?"

I was stunned by his accusing tone.

"This loving young woman refuses to even contemplate loving again. You did this to her, now it must be undone."

"But how," I said to no one as Bob had disappeared again.

The remainder of the day drug by for Derek. He wondered if his initial fascination with Penny had just been merely a physical one, well of course it was he told himself, she was a beautiful woman. But he wondered if there could be anything more to her appeal. It was obvious that she was bright, and he sensed a strength in her, but what about a sense of humor... kindness ... compassion ... sensuality? All those things and more mattered to him. Only time would tell.

Penny retrieved the contract from her assistant at 6:45, put it in her briefcase, and went to grill. She was surprised to find Derek already there and noticed he had ordered both of them a beer. She smiled as she sat down.

The evening flew by. After going over the contract they had talked and laughed like old friends. Before Derek realized, it was late and he had a plane to catch tomorrow. He offered to take her home but Penny declined, saying she had left her car at the parking garage down the block. Then he said, "Come on, then, I'll walk you to your car."

As they walked down the street I couldn't help but notice what a striking couple they were and I leaned over to whisper in Penny's ear, "This fella is a real gentleman, not the kind to break your heart."

Penny glanced over at Derek with a questioning look in her eye. She could not, of course, hear me; however, knowing that I might have some positive effect on the outcome of their relationship made me feel good. I was immediately aware of a sudden change in my attitude toward Penny. I wanted her to be happy. Instead of feeling like a competitor for her affection, I felt like her a guardian angel, in deed.

I stood by and watched as Penny dug in her purse of her car keys, Derek was standing by patiently. When she finally found them ... I don't know how many times I had complained about that bottomless pit she called a purse ... she turned to Derek and said, "Thank you for the burger and the company tonight, I ended up having a good time. Call me when you're ready to sign the contract."

Derek said, "There's no reason to call you. Well, I mean there is, ... but not about the contract. I'll sign it and return it to you as soon as I get back in town. And, about the calling you, I'd rather forego the calling and just ask you to have dinner with me right now ... what do you say? Dinner with me Saturday night?"

Penny looked at him and he saw what I saw. He saw a shadow of reluctance in her eyes. I quickly stepped up to her and said, "Go ahead Penny ... have dinner with him. After all, what do you have to lose?"

Penny thought for a minute and said, "Derek, I don't know. I haven't dated anyone in a long time ... I've been getting over a big hurt and I don't know if I'm ready yet."

Derek took her by the shoulders and gently pulled her toward him, his lips brushed hers ever so gently, "Just say yes." Then he released her and gave her what he thought was his most winning smile.

"Alright, yes I'll have dinner with you Saturday night."

"Good. I'll pick you up at 7:00 ... we'll get to know each other nice and slow, you can let me know if you're uncomfortable. Okay?"

Penny smiled up at him, "Okay," she said as she opened the car door and got in. As she backed out she waved at Derek and he once again smiled and raised his hand to her.

I was sitting in the car seat next to her and listened to her talking out loud to herself, a habit she had when she had a problem to work out.

"Okay, so he's handsome. But he doesn't seem to know it, he seems to have no conceit. And, he's nice. He didn't come on to me tonight ... unless you count that little kiss ... and that was hardly a come on. I haven't been out in a long time, I can't go on grieving for Chris the rest of my life. What can it hurt to have dinner with him? Besides, the kiss was nice."

I could see her mind working on the kiss as she put her fingers up to her lips. She then did something that astounded me, her hand went to her breast. She ran her hand over her breast and then tweaked her nipple. I saw it responded by becoming rock hard. I was more than a little puzzled by her actions.